


Catch Me When I Fall

by energeticjen



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-02-12 06:34:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 97,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2099217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/energeticjen/pseuds/energeticjen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Refusing to believe that a cross-species relationship is possible, Riela Shepard denies her feelings towards Garrus Vakarian, and attempts to bury them by focusing on a budding relationship with Kaidan, but it's a difficult fight she is losing one day at a time. Starts slightly pre-ME 1, through ME 3. Riela is a Spacer, War Hero, Infiltrator, Paragon. (Riela is pronounced Rye-ella.)</p><p>**So, my life has exploded in unexpected but delightful ways, which is why it's been three months since my last posting. I start college next week, and I'm trying very hard for a promotion at work. I don't know what this will mean for my writing, but I hope that I'll be able to continue, because I love it (and this story)!**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I wrote this song first, but it didn't assuage that burning desire of Shakarian inside me. So, this story is a companion to that. Let me know what you think, I've never written a fanfic before! BioWare owns the Mass Effect universe.

Catch Me When I Fall  
(A Song for Garrus)

When I first met you, the galaxy faded.  
I wanted to touch you, but instead I waited.  
As strong as I am, I was too shy to be honest.  
And I was scared that you wouldn't love me.

And time went by. I fooled myself with another.  
But deep inside, I knew there was no other.  
While I was with him, I dreamed about you.  
You were so close, and yet so far away.

So I'm going to pin my heart on my sleeve  
And hope that you see  
The desire in my eyes.  
So I'm going to take the first step towards you  
And pray that you  
Will catch me when I fall.

This is who I am, and this is how I feel.  
Even when I deny it, I know this love is real.  
But I'm tired of living a lie,  
And I'm tired of walking alone.  
I just hope that you feel the same.

So I'm going to pin my heart on my sleeve  
And hope that you see  
The longing in my eyes.  
So I'm going to take the first step towards you  
And pray that you  
Will catch me when I fall.


	2. The Normandy

Riela Shepard sat down on her bunk in the crew quarters, exhaling a happy puff of breath. Somehow she'd managed to land the position of Executive Officer on the brand new, highly anticipated SSV Normandy SR-1, a frigate designed and built by humans and turians together. Not only that, but her commanding officer was none other than Captain David Anderson, a man whom she looked up to and tried to emulate, a man who earned the respect of all those around him, mostly through his incredible leadership skills. Now, Riela would have the chance to learn from the best. She'd had opportunities of leadership before of course, but she thought, _Why stop at mediocre when excellence is possible?_

She laid back, her hands behind her head, and a small smile played about her lips. She'd joined the Alliance at eighteen, just like both her parents had done before her. And when she'd realized she'd had her name put forth as a candidate for the N-school, and had been accepted, she jumped at the chance to become one of the best, most distinguished marines in the galaxy. Now, after having completed that rigorous training, she was looking to become something even more. This position on the Normandy is just perfect!

She allowed herself to daydream about the future for a few minutes. Lost in her thoughts, she didn't hear the door slide open, admitting another member of the crew.

“Hey, are you new too?” The voice was deep, rich, and warm. Riela sat up quickly, startled out of her musings. The man sat down on the bunk next to hers, and looked at her with a friendly smile. He had dark wavy hair, brown eyes, and looked to be about her age. He sat his duffel on his bed beside him, while keeping eye contact with her.  
“Oh, yes, I was just posted here. I thought I'd be the only one to arrive this early. I happened to be on the station when my orders came through, and since I didn't have anything better to do, I decided to just come aboard and settle in. I thought it would be a good use of my time to familiarize myself with the ship before I had to actually work on it.”

“That's what I thought. It's funny I haven't seen you around before now, since we both happened to be on the station. I'm Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko.” He held his hand out towards her, and she reached over and shook it warmly.

“I'm Commander Riela Shepard,” she said with a smile. 

His eyes widened a little. “You're the XO? I guess I should have saluted. Sorry about that, ma'am.”

“No, it's fine.” She waved her hand in a dismissing motion. “I'd rather get to know everyone on a more personal level. I think it makes for better teamwork, don't you?” 

Kaidan ran his hand through his hair, a little embarrassed. He shifted his eyes to the floor for a moment and shrugged. “I guess so, ma'am.”

“You really don't have to keep calling me 'ma'am'. Shepard's fine. I'm not one for that level of deference.” She smiled warmly at Kaidan, trying to put him at ease. “I've already stowed my stuff. If you want, I'll wait for you to stow yours, and we can take our own little tour of this place. I haven't had a chance to look around yet. What do you say?” She stood up wiping her hands on her thighs, then swung her arms back and forth a little, ready to do something. Lying on her bed was nice for a minute, but she was the type of person who liked to stay busy.

“That sounds nice...Shepard.” He said her name shyly, as if he wasn't sure how she would react, even though she had asked him to do so.

_I hope this guy has more guts when we get into a conflict. This is kind of ridiculous._ She shook her head at herself, knowing those thoughts were unkind. _No, that's not fair. Just because someone is shy doesn't mean they're scared. He wouldn't have gotten this far if he couldn't fight._

They wandered around the floor they were on, checking out the mess, the battery, and the med lab. Kaidan made some comments about the fancy tech in the medical bay, saying that he didn't know much, but what he saw for biotics looked top rate. Shepard just nodded amiably. Even though she knew quite a bit about tech, at the moment she wasn't really in the mood to teach. They made their way back to the elevator, and decided to check out the lower deck. 

The armory was well-equipped with all kinds of mods and modification tools, as well as plenty of extra equipment. There was a large open area for storage, exercise, and a garage section for the M35 Mako, an all-terrain vehicle for planet-side travel. Behind the elevator shaft was engineering. Inside was the Tantalus Drive Core, an experimental piece of equipment that allowed the Normandy to stay undetected for hours at a time. Riela couldn't wait to tinker around with the core and the IES stealth system, but she knew now wasn't the time. She had a quick, engaging conversation with Engineer Adams, full of terminology that Kaidan didn't even remotely understand. 

_There is so much more to our XO than meets the eye. And that part's pretty nice too._ While Shepard was busy talking, Kaidan took a moment to study the Commander. She was tall and well-muscled, with an inner strength that shone through everything she did. There was a subtle grace to her movements. Even simply shifting weight from one foot to the other was like a dance. Her ancestry was difficult to place. She had the deeply tan skin of the Middle East region, but with freckles. She had the slanted eyes of the Eastern peoples, but they were a bright emerald green. Her nose was wider than most, but not flat like those of African descent. Her mouth was full, but not overly so. Her bone structure looked vaguely Hawaiian or Samoan, with prominent cheekbones and kind of a wider, flatter face. Her hair, pulled up into a utilitarian bun, was black, thick, and shiny. In short, she was an enigma.

Shepard, oblivious to Kaidan's observation, said goodbye to Adams with a wide smile, and motioned to Kaidan to follow her back up to the crew deck. From there, they took the staircase to the upper floor, where the Combat Information Center with the galaxy map was located. They studied it briefly, touching nothing. The bridge was empty, and they wandered slowly around, looking at all the stations, and the holographic image of the Normandy floating in the air.

“I've never been on a ship before where the CIC was located at the back, instead of in the middle,” said Kaidan quietly.

“That's part of the turian design. They like to be able to watch over all their subordinates, and you can't do that from the middle. I read that they wanted to see how that set up would work with a human command structure,” Shepard answered.

“Well, it seems reasonable, but it's still strange.”

“Mmm,” Shepard said, noncommittally. She meandered down the walkway to the cockpit. She was startled to realize that the seat wasn't empty.

“Hey, greenies! Are you gawking at my baby? Aw, don't feel bad, she definitely deserves it!” The chair swung around, and Shepard locked eyes with the owner of the voice. He was scruffy, slouching, and had a decidedly insubordinate twinkle in his eye. “The name's Joker, and I'm the best damn pilot the Alliance has ever seen!”

“Well, you definitely need to work on your low self-esteem, Joker. Can't have mopey, depressed pilots under my watch!” Shepard snarked at him, shifting her hip to the right and crossing her arms, a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth.

“I'll get right on that, Commander. Who's the shadow?” he asked, leaning to look around her at Kaidan.

“I'm Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. How come you know who she is, but not who I am?”

“Because she's the XO, and you're not. Also, because she doesn't rub her rank in people's faces, sir.”

Shepard stepped in. “Joker, that doesn't even make any sense.” She shook her head and smiled at him. She continued, changing the subject. “When do you think Captain Anderson will board?”

“Oh, the Cap should join our merry band in a few hours. Don't stress, Commander, he's not so bad.”

“I'll take your word for it. I think I'm going to go see if the mess is stocked with anything edible. You never can tell on Alliance vessels. You both are more than welcome to join me.”

“Sorry, Commander, but I have to finish running the checks. Maybe I'll catch up with you later.” Joker swung his chair back around, and started flicking his fingers through the orange holo panels.

“Well, I'll keep you company, Shepard. I'm kind of hungry myself.” Kaidan turned back around and headed for the stairs.

 

Sitting at the mess table, they talked about their recent past missions, their skills on the battlefield, the elation of being on the Normandy, and possible upcoming missions. As other crew members filtered on board, Shepard took the time to talk to all of them in turn. She wondered privately if any turians were going to be joining them. It was a jointly built ship with Council sponsorship, after all.

Later on, as a group of personnel were chatting with them at the mess table, a voice came on over the intercom. “Commander Shepard, please report to the comm room.”

“Well guys, duty calls!” She waved goodbye to the group, and walked off with a spring in her step, headed up the stairs. Behind her, everyone started talking about the new XO.

“I think she'll do a fantastic job,” said Engineer Adams.

“I think she'd be fantastic to do,” a young ensign cut in, waggling his eyebrows.

While some people snickered, Kaidan turned hard eyes on the insubordinate ensign. “That is your Executive Officer, Ensign Crosby. You'd do well to show her the proper respect and courtesy due, even when she's not around.”

Crosby had the decency to look abashed. “Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.” He ducked his head as Kaidan excused himself from the table and went to relax in the peace and quiet of his bunk. The rest continued their conversation, although talk of sexual acts with the Commander ceased.

 

Shepard walked through the door to the comm room, and smartly saluted Captain Anderson as he turned around to greet her. “Captain Anderson,” she said.

He returned the salute. “Ah, Commander Shepard. At ease.” She placed her hands respectfully behind her back, while stepping her right foot to the side. “I've heard great things about you. After only being in the military three years, while on shore leave you rallied the colonists of Elysium, led them in battle, and then single-handedly held off thousands of batarian troopers when they breached the defenses. And that's just one example of the type of soldier you are. I want you to know that I personally requested you as my XO here on the Normandy. You were made for great things, and I intend to help you get there.

“So, while you're on this ship under me, sometimes your shift will be the same as mine. Sometimes it will be the opposite of mine, and sometimes it will overlap on both sides. I want to see what you can do on your own, but I want to make sure you have the proper training to handle any kind of situation. Your schedule will be hard for a while, but I know someone who earned the Star of Terra before completing her N7 training can handle it easily. I have great faith in you, Commander.”

“Sir, I don't know what to say. I had no idea-” Shepard stopped herself from rambling on like some fresh recruit. She dropped her head for a moment, then met his eyes resolutely. “Excuse me. Thank you for this opportunity, sir. I won't let you down.”

“That's good to hear, Commander. Now, since the crew is not supposed to officially report for duty until 0900 tomorrow, you're free to do as you like until then. At 0900 I want you to be with me on the bridge, while I inform the crew of our next mission and the priorities. You will be free from duty after 1800. I'll send you a file later detailing your future schedule. It is subject to change at will, but I'll try to stick as close to it as I can. Do you have any questions, Commander?”

“No sir, you've made everything clear. I'll see you tomorrow at 0900, sir.”

“Dismissed, Commander.”

Shepard saluted Captain Anderson once more, and left the comm room.


	3. Eden Prime

The first few days on the Normandy were a little hectic for Shepard. She stuck close to Captain Anderson's side, overseeing the operations of all parts of the vessel. This wasn't her first time on a frigate, but all the rest of them had been purely human. Being tech-savvy, she was very interested in all the turian aspects of the ship, which were brand new to her. At night, after their on-duty shift was over, they'd meet in Anderson's private quarters to discuss tactics, both on an off the battlefield. Anderson centered on honing Shepard's abilities to command a ship, including personal interaction, mediation, and the balance between on-duty authority, and off-duty friendship with the crew. He was privately surprised at her cool head and focused demeanor. He thought she had an excellent balance between calculating logic and protective compassion. But he needed to see how she reacted under pressure.  
  
“Shepard, tomorrow we reach Rayingri in the Armstrong Nebula. There is a research facility there that has some classified data we need to pick up. However, an unidentified ship has been seen in the nearby area, and it's possible that someone is trying to get that data first. Although I can't discuss any details, I can tell you that if this information falls into the wrong hands, life could become very hard for humans on secluded colony planets. I want you to lead the away team, with Staff Lieutenant Alenko and 2nd Lieutenant Draven. Maybe this will be a routine pickup, or maybe it will turn into a firefight and rescue. Either way, I want to personally see what you can do. Have your team report to the Mako at 1000 tomorrow.”  
  
“Yes, sir.”  
  
“I think we've talked enough tonight, Commander. I look forward to your performance tomorrow.”  
  
“Goodnight, Captain.” Shepard saluted, and left the cabin. Feeling excitement for the upcoming mission course through her veins, she wasn't ready to go to sleep yet. She checked her omni-tool for the time, and realized it was much later than she had thought. Everyone else but the skeleton crew on the command deck would be asleep.  
  
 _...Perfect!_ She thought to herself, her eyes lighting up with a mischievous fire. Riela had a secret that she didn't really feel like letting anyone know. Chances like this one were hard to come by on a tiny enclosed space with virtually no privacy. After grabbing a bottle of water from the galley, she snuck down to the cargo bay. She figured there would be someone awake in engineering, but the core was so noisy, she wasn't too worried about being discovered. She rolled out the mats that were stored along the wall, lying them down next to each other until most of the floor space was covered in a square. The mats were meant mostly for melee combat practice, but Shepard liked to use them for something else.  
  
With the wicked glint still in her eye, she stripped off her uniform and boots, leaving her body covered only in a tank top and shorts. She folded them neatly and laid them on the weapons bench. She walked back over to the middle of the mat quietly, rolling out her neck and swinging her arms. She stretched thoroughly, paying close attention to her feet. When she felt like her muscles were warmed up sufficiently, she accessed a particular file on her omni-tool and pressed play.  
  
The familiar old music swelled up inside her chest as her body began to flow. The particular piece was one that she had moved to countless times over the years. It was the first movement of Beethoven's 9th Symphony, and it was incredible to her that something 360 years old could still be so alive. She didn't just dance; her particular love was mixing ballet and gymnastics together in a seamless stream of movements. Going from graceful arabesques into handstands and walkovers, using glissade jetés and pas des chats in tumbling passes, pirouetting after back handsprings, it thrilled her to the core.  
  
The routine Riela performed was her old faithful, the one that she came back to over and over. She'd been doing it for so long, her mind could relax and wander while her body stretched and flexed. The strong sections of the music lent themselves well to explosive leaps and flips, while the quieter melodious parts worked well with her ballet skill set. Nothing centered her more than being on the mat, her person one with the music. It was just good luck that she was able to do this the night before her first mission as XO. As the music faded, her movements came to rest. Her breathing was a little heavy, her muscles twinged in that pleasant way that came with hard work, and a smile enveloped her face.  
  
Riela left the mat momentarily to get a drink of water, and stretched again. She opened a different file on her omni-tool, and modern wordless music with a heavy beat and a complex melody began to play. She focused on specific moves rather than a routine, practicing the same ones over and over until she was satisfied, then moving onto another. Her mind drifted back to her childhood, when she had been a little terror, running around the ships her parents were stationed on, getting into places she wasn't supposed to be, accidentally breaking some things, purposefully making others 'disappear', wreaking havoc wherever she went.  
  
Her parents had been at their wits' end trying to contain her, because no matter what security they put on the cabin door, or who they put her with to watch her, she would eventually manage to escape, free to cause more trouble for the crew. Then one day, doing research for a school assignment on the extranet, she came across a vid of ballet from Earth. Stunned by the beauty of the dancer's movements, she watched the whole thing without even making a peep. Her parents ordered a ship-wide search, because Riela had never stayed in her room or remained quiet for so long. When they finally realized she'd been there the whole time, they were embarrassed for causing unnecessary panic among the crew. Curious as to what would keep her out of trouble for so long, they asked. Discovering a deep love of physical art in their daughter, they immediately went to enroll her with a ballet tutor on board. The best they could find was an engineer who had grown up on Earth and taken classes as a child himself.  
  
Riela smiled as she thought about Markov, unwittingly stuck with a little six year old girl following him around while he attended to his duties. For Riela was the kind of person who, when she made a true friend, she made them for life. Even so young, she would stubbornly stick with someone she cared about, no matter how much difficulty it created. It had started off as a daily tutoring session of ballet for an hour, but once she'd gotten to know him, she became his shadow. Trailing behind him, she'd not only learned ballet, but also about engineering. Her mentorship with Markov had lasted two years, until her parents were stationed on another ship.  
  
Riela had been used to telling friends goodbye, but Markov had been different; he'd been special. She'd cried in public over their farewell, something she'd been taught not to do. She'd broken another rule by running up to him and clinging onto him in one last desperate hug. Her parents had to drag her away, but Riela knew better than to make the deplorable scene even worse by fighting and yelling, so she went with them quietly, tears still streaming down her face.  
  
Riela smiled fondly at the memory of Markov, and reminded herself to send him a message soon.  
  
On the carrier, which was much larger than the cruiser they had been stationed on, there had been a real gymnasium to accommodate all the people there. Hannah Shepard had found not only someone else trained in classical ballet, but also a second crewman with impressive gymnastic ability. Riela's physical training time was increased to allow for lessons in both arts, which she loved. When mandatory early combat training started, she had discovered that her speed, reflexes, balance, strength and flexibility all surpassed those of the other students because of the years of private study. Jealous of her ability, they teased and mocked her for being a “sissy princess with pink tutus and tiaras”. Hurt, but too proud to show it, Riela continued her dance and gymnastics lessons, but didn't talk about them, and kept them as secret as possible.  
  
 _Old habits die hard,_ she thought to herself. _But people would still react the same way, thinking that because I enjoy something so graceful and beautiful, I must not be able to use a gun._ After an hour workout, Riela stopped her music, donned her uniform, put the mats away, and headed upstairs, with no one else the wiser. She entered the crew quarters briefly to grab a change of clothing, glad her bunk was the one right next to the door, then headed to the restroom to shower. She went to bed, and slept soundly until 0800 the next morning.

 

After Shepard woke up, she informed Kaidan of the planet-side mission, then went in search of Rosamund Draven to inform her as well. Rosamund said she was excited, but Shepard could tell she also had some trepidation. She did her best to put the lieutenant at ease, and then went in search of breakfast. Alliance rations being what they were, breakfast was quick and boring. Shepard went back to her bunk to put her underarmour on, then headed down to the lower deck to check over the Mako one last time. She was skilled in tech, but not in mechanics. Since the Mako had never been used before, she trusted it would work, but inspecting it put her at ease.  
  
She went over to the armory lockers and started the slow process of acquiring an impenetrable outer layer. Her armour, the Mantis line from Hahne-Kedar, was lighter than most of the others there, since she relied on her skills of stealth and speed, rather than just barreling down the field towards enemies and taking them out with brute strength. As a commander, she liked to be closer to the rear of the fighting to better direct her troops, since she could see more of the enemies and the layout of the land. But just because she was in the back, it didn't mean that she stayed safe and out of danger. _It's not like I'm up in a tree, or I've never killed anyone. No, I stay to the rear, but I'm not left behind._  
  
With her armour assembled, she clunked over to the weapons bench to do a last check of her two rifles and her pistol, all from Hahne-Kedar as well. She disassembled her Avenger sniper, inspected it, and put it back together, then she did the same thing with her Lancer assault rifle and her Kessler pistol. Just as she was finishing, Alenko and Draven came down the elevator together, both in their underarmour.  
  
“Hey, Commander. You ready to take the Mako for a little spin?” asked Draven. “With six wheels, a mass accelerator cannon, and that machine gun, it looks like it'll be a fun ride, eh Alenko?” she said as she nudged Kaidan with her elbow.  
  
“Hopefully, it will be better than the Grizzlies the rest of the Alliance still uses. Those things have no shocks to speak of,” Alenko answered, looking a little pale.  
  
“All I know is, I'm driving!” Shepard exclaimed with a wide grin. “You guys suit up, there's not a lot of time left. I'm going to go tinker with the insides.”

The mission did indeed turn into a firefight and rescue. Shortly after the Mako landed on the surface, a shuttle bearing unknown symbols touched down nearby. Shepard, wary because of the warning Captain Anderson had given her, but disliking the “shoot first, ask questions later” mantra, directed her team behind cover to observe only. When humans in full armor, with the same unknown symbol emblazoned on the chest piece, armed with readied weapons poured out, her anxiety increased. The last thing she wanted was one of her team to get injured, or worse, the scientists inside to wind up dead. She removed her sniper from her back, and observed the unfamiliar soldiers through the powerful scope. As she watched, they noted the Mako, and then Shepard and her team. After one of them fired at Alenko, Shepard took him out with a well-placed bullet between the eyes.  
  
“Alenko! Flank them on the left! Draven, go right!” Shepard directed.  
  
“Ma'am!” they said together, and then split to follow the orders.  
  
“Alenko, if you can Throw some of them into the others to knock them off their feet, do that, but don't push them out of our firing range. Draven, I want you to focus on injuring one to take alive. I don't recognize their emblem, and I'd like one for questioning. When you get one down, I need you to get in there and drag them to safety. But don't put yourself in unnecessary danger, got me?”  
  
“Yes, ma'am!” said Draven, readying her pistol.  
  
“I'm going to focus on the ones that Alenko uses his biotics on, so I don't kill the one you're trying to keep alive.”  
  
The team worked well together, following the plan that Shepard laid out. Some of the enemy soldiers made it inside the research base, but the rest were taken down quickly. Draven managed to single one out that was trying to circle around them, and took him down with some well-placed bullets to the knees. She checked her surroundings, then ran over to disarm him. Dragging him to safety was unnecessary though, because by that time the rest were dead.  
  
“Status?” yelled Shepard, as she ran towards the downed man.  
  
“No injury!” said Alenko.  
  
“Fine!” answered Draven. Shepard removed the soldier's helmet, uncovering a sweaty, pain-lined, angry face.  
  
“Who do you work for?” she demanded. The man just spit at her. She kicked him in the ribs, and asked again. “I said, who do you work for?”  
  
“Fuck off, bitch! I'm not telling you anything!” he snarled. Kaidan stepped forward, ready to attack, but Shepard put her hand out, blocking him.  
  
“Let's try a different question. What are you doing here?”  
  
“You're not getting any information out of me!” Then the soldier appeared to clench his jaw together tightly, and fell over dead.  
  
“Cyanide capsule in one of his teeth,” observed Draven. Shepard sighed.  
  
“Let's go, we're wasting time. Those researchers are in danger.”  
  
Shepard led her team into the base, searching every room thoroughly, but they were all empty. It looked as if work had been interrupted, some terminals still running, papers scattered on the floor. At the back of the complex, she came to the place where the rest of the soldiers were holding the scientists hostage, while others rifled through papers and data pads, and tore out stuff from drawers and lockers. As soon as the door opened, Shepard focused her scope on one guarding the civilians, and took him out with a shot through the back of the head. Alenko shot the other with his pistol until he dropped, then put a Barrier up around himself and the scientists, protecting them from stray bullets. Draven and Shepard ducked behind some equipment for cover, and took out the rest of the opposition quickly. These soldiers appeared to have better aim than the ones outside, but none of their fire made it through Shepard's shields. She walked the perimeter, checking to make sure no other soldiers were hiding, and shooting any on the floor that might still be alive. She nodded to Alenko, who dropped his Barrier. As she walked up to the researchers, she put away her rifle, and held out a hand to help them up off the ground.  
  
“Is everyone alright? I have medi-gel if anyone's injured,” said Shepard.  
  
“No, I think we're alright. Maybe a few bruises, nothing major. I guess they were told to take us alive if possible,” answered one of the scientists, the leader by the looks of him.  
  
“We're from the Alliance. Captain Anderson sent us to collect some sensitive data you have?”  
  
“Ah, yes, okay. Hmm, okay, yes....” The head scientist seemed flustered, starting to walk in one direction, then stopping, turning around and walking in the opposite, stopping, putting one hand on his forehead, looking around confusedly. “Ah ha!” he said, pointing at something and rushing over to the console. Shepard watched him impassively, understanding that the unwanted operatives had disturbed and ravaged the work space. “Here it is! Yes, I'll just download it onto this data pad, encrypted of course, and you can give it to Captain Anderson. Thank you, by the way, for saving us from those Cerberus bastards.”  
  
“Cerberus? Is that an organization? I've never heard of it before.”  
  
“Oh yeah, they're a humans-above-all-others kind of group. Nothing matters more to them than advancing the human race. Nothing, you understand. By any means necessary.” He nodded matter-of-factly. “Nasty group. Immoral.”  
  
“I heard they used to be part of the Alliance, but they split off,” piped up one of the other scientists. “I don't know how true that is, though.”  
  
“I'll look into it,” said Shepard. “If they're as dangerous as you say, more people should be aware of them and what they're capable of.” The head scientist walked over to her and handed her the data pad. “Thank you for the information, and the data,” Shepard said. “Is there anything I can do for you before we leave?”  
  
“No, I think we're good here. We normally don't discover something so potentially life-altering, our research is usually quite tame. Thank you for your concern, have a good trip back.” The scientist turned abruptly away and began picking up the strewn paper and data pads on the floor, his one-track mind focused on the next task. Shepard looked at Alenko and Draven, shrugged, and headed back to the Mako. Outside, she radioed Joker for pick up.

 

The next couple of months went by smoothly. Missions planet-side were fairly routine, picking up more important scientific data from researchers, stopping pirates and slave-traders, uncovering black market deals. Captain Anderson was true to his word regarding Shepard's schedule. On days of travel between missions, she mostly worked the quiet night shift, inspecting and running checks on different parts of the ship. On days where there were missions, or prep for missions, she kept the same schedule as the Captain, following him around and discussing pertinent tactics in detail. Occasionally, her shift was half and half, but that was pretty rare.  
  
On her off time, she tried to research Cerberus, but found little concrete data, and Captain Anderson wasn't free to tell her much more than she already knew. She also managed to sneak in a few more of her specialized workouts without anyone discovering them, and Riela became closer friends with some of the crew, namely Joker, Kaidan, Rosamund, and Karin Chakwas, the resident doctor.  
  
After stopping at the Citadel, where the seat of the Council and the embassies of the races were located, the crew took a little shore leave, and a turian came aboard. When Shepard returned to the ship after a pleasant stroll around the Presidium, she heard about Nihlus from Joker, who stated his opinion that he was trouble because he was a Spectre, and that he didn't like him. Shepard, who had been waiting months to finally talk to a turian face to face, kept her excitement to herself. After tracking him down to the comm room, Shepard proceeded to introduce herself to the tall, armoured alien with white tribal designs painted all over his face, from the tips of his mandibles to the tips of the spikes that stuck out from the back of his head.  
  
 _Colony marks,_ she told herself, studying them discreetly. “Hello, I'm Commander Shepard,” she said warmly.  
  
“Yes, I know. I'm Nihlus Kryik, a Council Spectre. I'm here to oversee the stealth systems test. We appreciate the Alliance waiting before using the Normandy's full capabilities until I could come aboard. I was... occupied with another mission longer than I had originally anticipated.”  
  
“I have to say, Nihlus, that I'm very excited to see the system in action. I've been talking with Engineer Adams about it, and we're both amazed at the scientific discoveries that led to its existence. Honestly, I'm amazed by a lot of things I see on the Normandy. I think building a ship cooperatively between our two races was a genius idea, and I hope the future holds more of the same.”  
  
Nihlus paused for just a moment before responding, “As do I, Commander.”  
  
Just then, the door whooshed open and Captain Anderson stepped through. “Ah, I'm glad you're both here and acquainted with each other. We have our next orders, Commander. Nihlus already knows about them, it's part of why he's here. We need to make a covert pick up from Eden Prime, and the stealth systems test is mostly just a cover. A research team there unearthed a Prothean beacon of some sort, and we need to get it for the Council before it falls into the wrong hands.”  
  
“I thought the Protheans vanished 50,000 years ago, and nobody knows why,” said Shepard.  
  
Nihlus answered, “Their legacy still remains. The mass relays, the Citadel, our ship drives-- it's all based on Prothean technology. Galactic civilization wouldn't exist without them. We owe them a great debt.”  
  
“This is big, Shepard. The last time humanity made a discovery like this, it jumped our technology forward two hundred years,” said Anderson. “But Eden Prime doesn't have the facilities to handle something like this. We need to bring the beacon back to the Citadel for proper study.”  
  
“Obviously this goes beyond mere human interest, Commander. This discovery could affect every species in Council space.” Nihlus looked stern as he talked, like he was trying to impress upon her how important the other races were. It wasn't necessary; Shepard already agreed with the ideal of alien equality. But she could understand his concern, with people like Navigator Pressley and Joker around.  
  
“Sharing that beacon will improve relations with the Council. Plus, we need their scientific expertise. They know more about the Protheans than we do,” stated Anderson.  
  
“The Normandy and the beacon are not the only reasons that I'm here, Commander,” said Nihlus as he stepped forward.  
  
“Nihlus wants to see you in action, Commander. He's here to evaluate you,” explained Anderson.  
  
“Evaluate me? For what, exactly?” asked Shepard, crossing her arms and shifting her hip to the side.  
  
“For Spectre status. The Alliance has been pushing for this for a long time. Humanity wants a larger role in shaping interstellar policy. We want more say with the Citadel Council. The Spectres represent the Council's power and authority. If they accept a human into their ranks, it shows how far the Alliance has come.”  
  
“You held off an enemy assault during the Blitz single-handed. You showed not only courage, but also incredible skill,” said Nihlus, sounding impressed. “That's why I put your name forward as a candidate for the Spectres.” Now it was Shepard's turn to be impressed. A stranger, a turian even, had suggested _her_ to be a Spectre? Even though the First Contact War with the turians had been resolved almost thirty years ago, relations between the two races were still a little strained.  
  
“Why would a turian want a human in the Spectres?” she asked incredulously.  
  
“Not all turians resent humanity. Some of us see the potential of your species. We see what you have to offer to the rest of the galaxy... and to the Spectres. We are an elite group. It's rare to find an individual with the skills we seek. I don't care that you're human, Shepard. I only care that you can do the job.”  
  
She turned to the Captain. “I assume this is good for the Alliance.” It was a statement, not a question.  
  
“Earth needs this, Shepard. We're counting on you.”  
  
“I need to see your skills for myself, Commander. Eden Prime will be the first of several missions together,” said Nihlus.  
  
“You'll be in charge of the ground team. Secure the beacon and get it onto the ship ASAP. Nihlus will accompany you to observe the mission. We can't let it fall into the wrong hands.”  
  
“Like who, Captain?”  
  
“The Attican Traverse, where Eden Prime is located, isn't the most stable sector of Citadel space. There are plenty of raiders and criminal groups active in the region. They might figure a Prothean beacon is worth the risk of attacking an Alliance ship. Plus, Eden Prime is right on the border of the Terminus Systems.”  
  
“The Attican Traverse is under Citadel protection. If the Terminus Systems attack, it's an act of war,” reasoned Shepard.  
  
“Technically, yes,” said Nihlus. “But some of the species in the Terminus might be willing to start a war over this.”  
  
“The last thing the Council wants is to get dragged into a major conflict with the Terminus Systems. We have to keep this low-key,” said Anderson.  
  
“What can you tell me about Eden Prime?” Shepard asked.  
  
“It's a peaceful farming world, but it represents something much bigger. Eden Prime is one of our oldest and most successful colonies. It proved we were ready to face the challenges of settling new worlds, to forge a place for humanity beyond Earth. It symbolizes humanity's growth and evolution as a spacefaring species. And after this, it will be known as the world where humans made a discovery of galactic importance.”  
  
“I understand, Captain. Let me know when we get there.”  
  
“Will do, Commander. You're dismissed.”

 

After everyone returned from shore leave, Joker jumped the ship through the mass relay next to the Citadel, and took them to the Utopia solar system in the Exodus Cluster where Eden Prime was.  
  
“Commander Shepard, Spectre Nihlus, please report to the comm room,” said Captain Anderson over the intercom. When they both had arrived, he continued, “We should be getting close to Eden--”  
  
“Captain! We've got a problem,” Joker cut in over the comm.  
  
“What's wrong, Joker?” Anderson asked.  
  
“Transmission from Eden Prime, sir. You'd better see this.”  
  
“Bring it up on screen.” The screen in the comm room came to life, shakily showing Alliance soldiers being shot at by lasers from an unknown source. One Alliance soldier in white ran towards the camera yelling, “Get down!” and then she shoved the cameraman down. More jerky camera footage showed soldiers firing at enemies obscured by smoke, and getting taken down by laser fire. The voice of an officer came through.  
  
“We are under attack! Taking heavy casualties. I repeat: heavy casualties! We can't--” a blast was all that could be heard for a moment, but the voice continued, the camera now focused on the owner. “--eed evac! They came out of nowhere. We need--” The unfortunate soldier was blown backwards, and didn't get up. The camera swung up and around, trying to catch something in the sky. A strange, deep, mechanical thrumming could be heard, vibrating in Shepard's chest, even over a video feed. Through the jumbled camera shots and smoke, an alien ship with strange, finger-like appendages on the bottom came down out of the sky, red lightning crawling over it, and took out the soldiers with well-placed blue laser fire. The camera cut to grey static.  
  
Joker's voice came back on over the intercom. “Everything cuts out after that. No comm traffic at all. Just goes dead. There's nothing.”  
  
“Reverse and hold at 38.5,” said Captain Anderson coolly. The vid played backwards for a moment, and then stopped on the image of the alien vessel. The three of them just stared in silence for a moment, wondering what it could possibly be.  
  
“Status report!” yelled Anderson.  
  
“Seventeen minutes out, Captain. No other Alliance ships in the area,” answered Joker.  
  
“Take us in, Joker, fast and quiet. This mission just got a lot more complicated.” Captain Anderson looked over at Shepard, then at Nihlus.  
  
Nihlus replied, “A small strike team can move quickly without drawing attention. It's our best chance to secure the beacon.”  
  
 _I don't care who you are, I don't care where you came from. If you attack innocent civilians on a peaceful colony just for some ancient artifact, I will end you myself,_ thought Shepard, glaring at the frozen picture of the ship.  
  
“Grab your gear, and meet us in the cargo hold,” said Anderson to Nihlus. Then he turned to Shepard and said, “Tell Alenko and Jenkins to suit up, Commander. You're going in.”  
  
She took one more long look at the screen and then saluted. “Aye aye, Captain.”  
  
In the cargo bay, Captain Anderson gave some final orders to the team. “Your team's the muscle of this operation. Go in heavy and head straight for the dig site.”  
  
“What about survivors, Captain?” asked Alenko.  
  
“Helping survivors is a secondary objective. The beacon's your top priority.”  
  
Joker's voice came on, “Approaching drop point one.” Nihlus checked his weapon, nodded to the Captain, then went running to the open bay door.  
  
“Nihlus will scout out ahead. He'll feed you status reports throughout the mission; otherwise, I want radio silence,” explained Anderson.  
  
“We've got this, Captain,” said Shepard firmly.  
  
“The mission's yours now, Shepard. Good luck!”  
  
“We are approaching drop point two,” said Joker.  
  
On the ground, Shepard observed her surroundings. In the distance, some large towers thrust high above the land. She headed towards them, staying on high alert for hostiles. Strange creatures Jenkins called gas bags and said were sheep-like, wandered aimlessly around, oblivious to the dead bodies on the grass. Up a hill and around some rocks, Shepard signaled for a halt. The area looked clear, so she signaled to Jenkins to take point. She figured he'd know his way around better, since he had grown up on Eden Prime. As he made his way up the hill, two drones of unknown make and model fired those same blue lasers at Jenkins. Taken unaware, he screamed and fell to the ground. Shepard and Alenko immediately sprang into action, taking cover behind some rocks and firing at the drones. After they were down, Shepard rushed over to Jenkins.  
  
Alenko got to him first, and solemnly closed Jenkins' eyes. “They ripped right through his shields, he never had a chance.” His voice was shaky, and he seemed disturbed. Shepard put her hand on his shoulder in comfort.  
  
“It never gets easier, Alenko. We'll make sure he receives a proper burial after the mission, but right now we need to stay focused.” His sad eyes met her determined ones.  
  
“Aye, ma'am.”  
  
As they continued their way up the hill, more drones appeared. Shepard and Alenko took them out easily, anger at Jenkins' sudden death making them more focused.  
  
Nihlus came over the radio informing them of burned out buildings and lots of dead bodies at the settlement. He told them he was going to investigate, and meet up with them at the dig site. At the top of a rise, they saw a woman in white and pink (Pink? thought Shepard) Alliance armour take out some drones that were following her. Farther on ahead, they saw as two synthetic beings forced a colonist to bend backwards over a strange three-legged device. As all three of them watched, a giant metal spike shot up through the man, suspending him in the air as he died. Then the droids turned to attack the lone soldier. Shepard readied her sniper, took a calming breath, focused, and shot one through the large light that was where a face would have been, while Alenko and the soldier took down the other together. Shepard ran down to check on the soldier.  
  
“Thanks for your help. I didn't think I was going to make it,” said the stranger. “Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212, ma'am. I'm the only one of my squad left. We tried to circle back to the beacon, but we walked into a geth ambush.”  
  
“Geth? They haven't been seen on this side of the Perseus Veil in two hundred years,” said Alenko incredulously.  
  
Ashley shrugged. “They must be after the beacon. It's just over that rise, if it's still there.”  
  
“I think you should come with us,” Shepard said. “You're at least a little familiar with this place.”  
  
“Aye, Commander,” answered Ashley.  
  
They headed forward, passing more of those disturbing spikes, and took cover while taking down enemy geth. When they reached the dig site, it was empty. Unsure of who took the beacon, they decided to continue onto the research camp to check there. Just as Shepard was wondering where Nihlus was, he radioed in to say that there was a small spaceport he was going to check out, and he would wait for them there.  
  
The team continued up the hill to the camp, which was strewn with dead bodies, civilians and soldiers alike. Some buildings were on fire, places had been destroyed, and there were more of those grotesque spikes, with bodies dangling from them, looking like sacrifices to the sky. Something was strange about the corpses, though. They looked like they were glowing with blue light. Just as Shepard squinted her eyes to get a better look, the spikes retracted back into their bases, and the corpses began to run towards her and her team. It looked like glowing blue wires had replaced their veins or tendons, running all through their bodies, their eye sockets beaming the same blue light. They were a horrifying mix of cybernetics and cadavers. However, they went down easily.  
  
 _I guess being dead already makes it easier to kill them the second time around,_ Shepard thought with a smirk. “Well, now we know what the spikes are for,” she said out loud. Dark humor coloured her voice while her mind was avoiding the disturbing truth, focused on the mission. They found a few survivors hiding in some sheds, and told them it was safe to come out. Shepard discovered that the beacon had been moved to the spaceport that morning, so that's where they headed next. As they left the camp, the giant alien ship from the vid rose from the ground, crackling with red lightning. Red smoke poured out of the bottom as it lifted into the air and disappeared into the atmosphere. The spaceport was just down the hill, but it was crawling with more of those husks and geth. Shepard, with her sniper rifle, stayed on the higher ground to take them out, but Alenko and Ashley got in closer to use their pistols and assault rifles. The fight was tough, with husks running around and geth shooting high-powered lasers, but eventually all enemies were eliminated. Shepard noted to herself that Ashley was a good shot, and stayed focused under pressure.  
  
Shepard investigated the surrounding area, and discovered some farmers hiding in a very large crate. She freed them, and continued on her way. At the spaceport, she came across the body of Nihlus. He'd been shot in the back of the head. Shepard stared down at the turian in disbelief. She'd hoped to become friends with the alien, to understand his species on a deeper, more personal level. But more than that, what would this do to her Spectre candidacy? Apparently, the reputation of the whole Alliance was riding on her to prove to the Council that she was worthy, and here was her observer, a Spectre himself, dead on their first mission together, on a _human_ colony world. And this wasn't even the first death on this mission she was supposed to be leading.  
  
 _This is just fucking great. What is the Council going to say? What is the Captain going to say? I knew him going off by himself was a bad idea, that's why we send teams of at least three! What was he thinking, running off alone? Too good to work along side some humans? Wanted to prove he was so tough and mighty? Wanted to prove he was better than us? Than me? How was he supposed to evaluate me, when he wasn't even with me?_ The guilt and blame circled around in her head, making her defensive and angry. _I hope this doesn't get blamed on me. I wasn't with him, and it was his choice to work alone, not mine._  
  
Suddenly Ashley yelled out, “Something's moving behind those crates!”  
  
They all trained their weapons as a scared little man came out from behind the boxes. It turned out that he witnessed the murder of Nihlus by another turian Spectre named Saren. He said that Nihlus obviously felt safe around the guy, because he turned his back on him while talking. That was when Saren took the shot, and then left by train to the other spaceport. Shepard inwardly sighed, and then headed towards the train, motioning for her team to follow.  
  
Before they could board, three very large geth started coming towards them. “Take cover!” Shepard yelled, ducking behind a low wall. “Alenko, use your Throw! I don't want them getting too close, those are _big_! Williams, aim for the left, I'll aim right! Whoever finishes first gets the third one!”  
  
“Aye aye, Commander!” Williams answered, already firing her assault rifle. Shepard calmed her breathing, held the scope to her eye, focused, and squeezed the trigger. The shot was good, but didn't stop the advancing geth. It aimed it's rocket launcher at her position, and fired. Shepard ducked behind cover at the last minute, then popped back up to take another shot. This one must have gotten through its shields, because the geth started to spark, and then fell over unmoving.  
  
Shepard took a moment to check on her team. Williams was alright, firing on a geth as it flew backwards, pushed by Alenko's Throw. He seemed to be fine too, but as soon as she thought that, a rocket impacted right next to him.  
  
“Alenko!” she screamed. _No, no, no no no! Not another's blood on my hands!_ she thought as she ran towards him. “Williams, stay focused on those geth! I'm checking on Alenko. Yell if you need help!”  
  
“I'm find, Commander, only this one left,” she grunted, blasting the trooper with her shotgun. “Get to Alenko!”  
  
Shepard bent over Alenko's sprawled form, turning him over to assess the damage. The right side of his armour seemed pretty beaten up, but still intact. “Alenko!” she yelled. “Alenko, status report!” She hoped sticking to military jargon would more quickly bring him around. It seemed to work as his helmeted head rolled side to side and a moan escaped his lips. He tried to sit up, and Shepard helped support him until he was steady. “Sorry, Commander. I was too focused on that one near Williams to notice the rocket. That was stupid.”  
  
“As long as you're alright, I'll let it slide this time,” she said with a smirk. “C'mon, try to stand. Your suit should have already released medi-gel for your wounds. You'll be fine in a minute.” She wrapped an arm around his torso and helped drag him up to stand. Once on his feet, he seemed to find his balance more easily.  
  
“Let's go get that beacon,” Alenko said with renewed strength.  
  
At the other spaceport platform, Saren was kind enough to leave behind bombs for them to track down and defuse, and more geth to harry them while they tried. As they reached the first explosive, Shepard studied it and said, “Alenko, Williams, I need you guys to cover me while I deactivate these bombs. We've only got five minutes before the whole colony is wiped off the face of this planet. Alenko, no more injuries, you've used up all your free passes this mission.”  
  
“Understood,” he answered seriously. While Shepard disabled the one at her feet, and then tracked down the other three bombs and disarmed them, her team covered her so well, her shields never even fizzled to signal they'd been hit. Walking around a corner and down some stairs, more geth and husks greeted them.  
  
“Boring!” said Williams, taking out the husks with her shotgun. Shepard grinned as she sniped the geth from the top of the stairs, while Alenko Threw them back. Shepard had been working with Alenko on ground missions for a few months now, but Williams was brand new to her team. _She's a good addition,_ Shepard thought. _I wonder where she'll be stationed since she's a sole survivor. Maybe I can request to have her on the Normandy._  
  
The beacon rose above them, an obelisk of ancient times. Glowing green mist feathered out from the top half. Shepard radioed Joker for a pick up, half-listening to Alenko and Williams discuss the beacon. As Williams walked up to her, Shepard looked past to see Alenko being dragged by some invisible force towards the beacon. She shoved by Williams, dashing towards Alenko for the second time on this mission. She grabbed him around the waist with both arms, and flung him out of the reach of the pull, sacrificing herself to its desires. It was so strong that Shepard ended up held in the air, ominously reminiscent of the husks on their spikes. Disjointed images flashed through her brain. Mechanical beings, organic ones screaming, blood, fire, destruction. Nothing was recognizable but the terror and fear. And then everything went dark.


	4. The Citadel

When Shepard woke up, she was in the medbay on the Normandy. Kaidan was hovering over her, a worried frown on his face. “Dr. Chakwas, I think she's waking up.” 

Shepard sat up slowly, a hand holding her throbbing head. “What happened?” she asked groggily.

“I guess I got too close to the beacon and triggered something. You had to push me out of the way. I'm sorry, Commander,” Kaidan answered, hanging his head.

“And the beacon? Did we get it?”

“No, Commander. It overloaded or something. The blast knocked you out, and Ashley and I had to carry you back here.”

“Thanks, Kaidan. How long was I out?”

“Fifteen hours, Shepard,” Dr. Chakwas said, stepping forward. “You're fine physically, but I noticed some unusual readings in your beta waves, and your REM was radically increased. That's usually a sign of intense dreaming,”

“Yeah, it wasn't a dream.” Shepard shook her head, as if trying to clear it. “It was a... vision. But it didn't make any sense. Just death and destruction.” 

The medbay door opened, and Captain Anderson walked in. Shepard tried to stand and salute, but the Captain waved her down. “At ease, Commander. I heard you had quite an ordeal. How is she, doctor?”

“She's fit for active duty, Captain. I've released her.”

“Good. I need to speak with the Commander privately.”

“Aye aye, Captain. I'll be in the mess if you need me,” said Kaidan. He and Dr. Chakwas left the medbay. Shepard felt her stomach tie in knots, clenching at the thought of the berating she was about to receive. She let none of that show, composing her face into an unreadable mask.

“Sounds like the beacon hit you pretty hard, Commander. Are you sure you're alright?” The concern in Anderson's voice was not what she had been expecting.

“Other than this headache, I'm fine physically, sir. I'm just upset that the mission went so badly. It was a complete failure. Jenkins died, Nihlus was murdered, Saren escaped, the colony was wiped out, and the beacon was destroyed. I know it was mostly my fault, I was leading the operation, but we walked into a situation we weren't prepared for. I can't remember the last time one of my assignments failed so miserably, Captain.”

“None of that was your fault, Shepard. You did everything in your power to accomplish your mission. The geth haven't been seen on this side of the Veil in over two hundred years, long before humans were using the mass relays. Nobody could have predicted what happened.”

Shepard sighed, partially in defeat, partially in relief. “What happened to Chief Gunnery Williams? She didn't get left on Eden Prime, did she, sir?”

“No, I reassigned her to the Normandy. Alenko recommended her.”

“She's good, I'm glad to have her as part of our team. What did you need to talk to me privately about, Captain?”

“First, the Council's going to want answers. Like you said, the mission went to hell. I'll stand behind you and your report; you're a hero in my eyes. Secondly, Saren. He's a Spectre, a legend, but if he's working with the geth, that means he's gone rogue. He's dangerous, and he hates humans. Did you see or hear anything down there that might give us a clue as to why he's working with the geth or why he was interested in the beacon?”

“No, sir. Nothing to do with Saren. All I saw was... a vision. From the beacon.” She crossed her arms, hugging herself, shivering at the remembrance.

“A vision? What did you see?”

“Synthetics, maybe geth, slaughtering organics. Butchering them.”

“We need to report this to the Council.”

Shepard snorted. “What are we going to tell them? I had a bad dream? No one's going to believe that the beacon gave me visions.”

“Who knows what kind of information was stored on that device. Weapons technology, blueprints, medical breakthroughs. Whatever was on there, Saren has it now, and he's going to use it and his geth army to wipe out humanity, I know it!” Anderson smacked his fist into his palm. “He believes humans are a blight on the galaxy. He's dangerous, and we need to find a way to stop him. He almost blew up a whole human colony just to cover his tracks. If he's gone this far, he'll stop for nothing. But he's a Council Spectre, which means he can go anywhere, do almost anything. We need the Council on our side.”

“We need to convince them that he's gone rogue. Then they'll revoke his Spectre status.”

“Yes. I'll contact the ambassador, and see if he can get us a meeting with the Council. He'll want to see us as soon as we get to the Citadel, which will be soon.”

“Understood, Captain.”

“I'll see you then, Shepard.”

Anderson turned smartly, and left the medbay. Shepard slowly got to her feet, groaning a little as she stretched her back, then her shoulders as she lifted her arms above her head. She looked down at herself, assessing. She was in her underarmour, which was undamaged, but stiff with sweat. She wrinkled her nose at her condition. As she headed out of the medbay to grab a shower, she saw both Kaidan and Ashley wandering around the mess dejectedly. _First things first,_ she said to herself. She made her way over to Ashley, who had a worried look in her eyes when she met Shepard's gaze.

“Hey, Ashley.”

“Hey, Commander. Are you alright? That beacon mess was crazy, ma'am.”

“You can skip the 'ma'am', Ashley. Shepard's just fine with me.” She gave the woman a warm, if worn, smile. “I have a pretty nasty headache, and I smell delightful, but nothing a shower, some food, and more sleep won't cure. How are you holding up?”

Ashley looked down and shrugged. “I don't know, Shepard. I've seen soldiers killed before, of course, but a whole platoon? And all those civilians...” her voice faded off for a moment, her eyes lost in memory. She shook her head slowly, “It just isn't right. We sign up for it, we know what we're getting ourselves into. We know how it might end. But them? We're supposed to protect them. I failed, Shepard. My whole team died doing their job, all those people died, but I'm up here on the Normandy. It's like I got a promotion because of their deaths.”

Shepard placed a hand on Ashley's shoulder. “It's not like that at all, Ashley. You got transferred so you could help me stop the person behind all this. Your mission's not over, it's just going to take longer than you thought it would. Don't give up yet, we'll find Saren, and we'll make sure he never hurts innocent people like this again. Are you with me?” Shepard looked into her eyes to let her know how serious she was. Stopping Saren was her first priority, and having a team with fire was always a good thing.

Ashley met her piercing gaze, and nodded. She stood a little straighter as she answered, “Yes, ma'am.”

Shepard let that one slide. “I'm always here if you need to talk, Ashley. About anything. Don't forget that, alright?”

“Alright.”

Shepard smiled one last time, then left to talk to Kaidan. He looked nervous, and just became more so as she approached. “Something on your mind, Kaidan?”

“I'm really sorry, Shepard. I didn't mean to put you in danger like that. I don't know where my mind was last mission. I was like a bumbling idiot. I'm just glad I didn't get anyone--” he stopped short as he thought of Jenkins.

“Jenkins wasn't your fault,” Shepard said while gripping his shoulder, repeating the same thing Anderson had said to her not ten minutes before. “We all know the risks going into a mission. Besides, I was the one that told him to take point, remember?” She shook her head. “Survivor's guilt is a bitch. Trust me, I know. Like I said before, it never gets easier. But it wasn't your fault. You followed your orders, and came out alive.” She sighed and smiled, trying to lighten the mood. “How's your injury?”

“Fine. Just some burns, no big deal. I had a little migraine, but it's gone now. I will need some new underarmour,” he said with a half-smile.

“Well it's a good thing we're headed to the Citadel then, isn't it? We'll pick some up there.”

“What's going to happen next, Shepard?”

“We're going to talk to the ambassador to see if we can meet with the Council, to convince them that Saren went rogue. Hopefully, they'll revoke his Spectre status, and then he won't be untouchable anymore. As one of the Council's right hand men, we can't do anything to stop him right now.”

“That sounds good.”

“Well, I'm off to shower. I need to smell like the dainty flower I am!” she said with a grin. “But seriously, if you need me for anything, Kaidan; if you need to talk, I'm always here, okay?”

“Okay, Shepard. I'll see you around.”

Shepard sent him one last smile, and then walked to the crew quarters to grab a clean set of underarmour. She headed to the shower, her mind already focusing on the next task at hand, her meeting with the Council.

 

On the Citadel, Captain Anderson led Shepard, Kaidan, and Ashley into the Ambassador's office. An angry man in a white suit was ranting at holographic images of what Shepard took to be the Council members. They were obviously not pleased at his pushy, self-righteous attitude, and she could understand why. She shook her head. No wonder the other races didn't care for humanity, if this was the representative. She watched the exchange and crossed her arms. As she figured, nothing was going to be done or discussed until the meeting later, no matter how much the ambassador wanted things now. _He's like a toddler throwing a temper-tantrum. How did he even get this position?_ Shepard thought. She did manage to overhear that Citadel Security was investigating Saren. So at least someone was taking her and Captain Anderson's reports seriously.

As the Councilors shut themselves off, Ambassador Udina turned his hate-twisted face towards them. He made rude comments to Captain Anderson, belittled Shepard and her team, and was all around horrible. With every word that spewed from his foul mouth, she liked him less and less, but she remained coolly polite. The only good that came from the meeting was a confirmation of the time of her Council meeting. 

Released to do as they pleased until then, Shepard, Kaidan and Ashley decided to stroll around the Presidium to waste time. It was a very beautiful place, with an artificial lake and live greenery all around. There was even an imitative blue sky above, with virtual fluffy clouds floating by. Shepard picked up some information here and there of strange goings-on in the galaxy, which she planned on investigating later. She also met her first hanar, a bio-luminescent pink alien, with no facial features to speak of, that was vaguely jellyfish-like. He was evidently a holy man of some sort, but refused to pay for the evangelical permit that was required. It was starting to cause a scene, so Shepard just paid the fee for him. One hundred credits was worth it to make everyone happy.

Soon, Shepard got tired of walking, and sat down on a bench in a busy section near the stores. It had been a rough couple of days, and sleeping off a beacon explosion in the medbay wasn't particularly restful. Kaidan and Ashley wanted to window shop, so they left her there for a while. Curious, Shepard accessed her omni-tool, and turned off her translator. Now she could hear all the species in their own language, instead of the Common she had always heard. She leaned back, and people-watched, trying to match the tones and modulations she heard with the species. 

She soon discovered that the asari language was very sing-song and liquid. All of their voices were light and airy. The turians had a lot of clicking noises and short syllables, with a nearly constant purr of sound underneath that rapidly changed pitch. She'd heard they had dual voices, but with her translator on, she'd never noticed when talking to Nihlus. A frown crossed her face for a moment, thinking of her failure and the upcoming rebuke she was sure to get from the Council. 

Her attention was caught by a pair of volus, the short stubby aliens in their pressure suits. Their language sounded mechanical, but that was probably from the suits. Besides that, it sounded mostly like hisses and deep breathing. The salarians, as they practically ran by, spoke as quickly as their legs moved. Theirs was a chirpy and clipped language. The hanar were the strangest to listen to. Listening to the other languages, she had easily heard word segments and language pattern, but the hanar's really was just sound to her. It was sort of like humming or singing with no words, just a single “ah” traveling over the music staff, but also like a buzzing choir. She watched the hanar the longest, her head tilted to the side, challenging herself to figure something out about their language. By the time Kaidan and Ashley got back, all she'd discovered was that their bodies pulsed colour in time with the rise and fall of the “ah”. She saw them approaching, and quickly turned her translator on. Some experiments were best left unexplained.

They decided to grab some lunch before the meeting, but since humanity was fairly new to the Citadel, not many places offered familiar food as an option. They managed at last to find a chintzy bar with almost all humans, and ate something there. The selection was so miniscule, they all had the same thing; ramen, a dish of noodles and salty broth. Their conversation was good-natured, discussing peculiar items Kaidan and Ashley had discovered in the stores, and then the Presidium itself. Afterward, they headed to the Citadel Tower, where the Council Chamber was located at the very top.

As they stepped off the elevator and headed up the elegant stairs lined with bushes, Shepard could hear arguing. Two turians were standing at the top of the stairs, and at first she was going to ignore them, but then she caught the word 'Saren'. Instantly, her focus was drawn. The one with blue colony marks and a blue visor was asking for more time to continue his investigation, but the one with white face paint adamantly denied his request. _This must be the C-Sec investigator the Council mentioned, and his superior. They didn't give him much time, did they?_ Shepard asked herself. As she reached the top of the stairs, the one in charge stalked away in a huff, and the other turned to look at her.

The moment her eyes met his, her breath caught in her chest, her heart stopped for a beat, and deep inside she felt something thrum, _Him._

_What!?_ she thought. Determined to not outwardly show anything, she kept her face stoic and plain.

“Commander Shepard? I'm Garrus Vakarian. I am- er -was the C-Sec officer in charge of investigating Saren,” the blue-marked turian said. 

The sound of his voice made her heart start racing. She refused to acknowledge any such thing. _Focus!_ she told herself, thankful that she couldn't blush. “It sounds like you really want to catch him.”

“I don't trust him,” he said, crossing his arms and leaning back on one foot. “Something about him rubs me the wrong way. I thought so even before I was assigned this investigation. But he's a Spectre, so everything he touches is classified. I can't find any hard evidence.” His mandibles clicked in irritation, and Shepard could just make out his sub-vocals over her translator. She didn't know what they meant, of course, but she was secretly glad she could hear them.

Kaidan cut in, “Commander, I think the Council's ready for us.”

She nodded absently. Shepard felt an affinity with Officer Vakarian. He was given an impossible task; to find information the Council knew was classified, while knowing that his clearance wouldn't be enough to access it. _Stupid politicking bullshit. It doesn't matter what race you are. It's always there, screwing over the good people trying to do the right thing._ She met his eyes for a moment, trying to express her understanding of his situation, while little sparks ran through her insides. She ignored them, and gave him a sad smile.

“Good luck, Commander. Maybe they'll listen to you,” he said hopefully. She smirked a little in response, knowing that it was probably not going to be that simple.

“Thanks, Vakarian. I'm sure I'll need it,” she answered. Then she walked slowly around him, past the giant fountain, and headed up more stairs. She could feel him behind her, pulling her attention away from her task. She lifted her chin and straightened her shoulders, refusing to turn around for another look.

“There sure are a lot of stairs,” said Kaidan. “Do you think they're supposed to be symbolic of the Council's importance?” Shepard ignored his question, her attention drawn by Captain Anderson standing at the top, obviously impatient. She hurried her last couple of steps to him and was greeted by him with, “Come on! The hearing's already started.”

As Shepard walked up to the dais, she could hear the asari Councilor say, “The geth attack is a matter of some concern, but there is nothing to indicate that Saren was involved in any way.”

“The investigation by C-Sec turned up no evidence to support your claims of treason,” said the turian. 

_Gee, I wonder why,_ thought Shepard sarcastically.

“An eye witness saw him murder Nihlus!” Ambassador Udina said coldly.

“We've read the reports from Eden Prime, Ambassador,” interjected the salarian Council member. “The testimony of one traumatized dockworker is hardly compelling proof.”

The giant holographic image of Saren on the left spoke up. “I resent these accusations! Nihlus was a fellow Spectre, and a friend.”

“That just let you catch him off guard!” Captain Anderson said.

“Ah, Captain Anderson. Why is it that you always seem to be involved when humanity makes false charges against me?” Saren asked with a silky smooth voice, like poison being poured down a throat. “And this must be your protege, Commander Shepard. The one who let the beacon get destroyed.”

Shepard narrowed her eyes. _Gotcha!_ “That mission was classified. The only way you could know about that beacon is if you were there,” she said, jabbing her finger at him.

His body language read, _Not this time._ “When Nihlus died, his files passed to me. I read the Eden Prime report, and I was unimpressed. But what can you expect from a human?” he added, his words dripping hatred.

Being face to face with the destroyer of Eden Prime was beginning to break her control. _Deny this!_ “Saren despises humanity! That's why he attacked our colony!”

“Your species needs to learn its place in the galaxy, Shepard.” His words were like icicles. _This will slow you down._ “You're not ready to join the Council. You're not even ready to join the Spectres!”

Ambassador Udina jumped in like the little gremlin he was. “He has no right to say that! That's not his decision!”

The asari Councilor looked up at Saren. “Shepard's admission into the Spectres is not the purpose of this meeting.”

_Ha ha, Saren. That backfired._ Shepard thought, smirking to herself.

“There is no purpose to this meeting!” Saren answered. _You're not going to get anywhere._ “The humans are wasting your time, Councilors. And mine.”

_And you're not going to get away._ “You can't hide behind the Council forever. I'll find proof, and I'll bring you down!” Shepard declared.

Captain Anderson, knowing that things were on the brink of getting out of hand, stepped in. “There is still one outstanding issue. The vision Commander Shepard received from the beacon.”

Saren scoffed, “Are we allowing dreams into evidence now? How can I defend my innocence against this kind of testimony?” _That was the wrong thing to say, Anderson._

The turian Councilor answered, “I agree. Our judgment must be based on facts and evidence, not wild imaginings and reckless speculation.”

“Do you have anything else to add, Commander Shepard?” asked the salarian.

_You've won this round, Saren._ “No, Councilor.”  
The asari and turian Councilors let unspoken words pass between them. The asari turned to the humans and delivered their verdict. “The Council has found no evidence of any connection between Saren and the geth. Ambassador, your petition to have him disbarred from the Spectres is denied.” Udina hung his head.

“I'm glad to see justice was served,” Saren said smugly. _Try again, and fail again, Shepard._ His hologram winked out.

“This meeting is adjourned,” said the asari.

Captain Anderson led Shepard, Kaidan, and Ashley away from the presenting walkway. Ambassador Udina hung back for a minute, then joined them, fuming. “It was a mistake bringing you into that hearing, Captain. You and Saren have too much history. It made the Council question our motives.”

“I know Saren. He's working with the geth for one reason: to exterminate the entire human race. Every colony we have is at risk. Every world we control is in danger. Even Earth isn't safe,” said Anderson.

“What is this history between you two, Captain?” asked Shepard.

“About twenty years ago, I was part of a mission in the Skyllian Verge. I was working with Saren to find and remove a known terrorist threat,” he said while pacing. “Saren eliminated his target, but a lot of people died along the way. Innocent people. And the official records just covered it all up.” He sighed. “But I saw how he operates. No conscience. No hesitation. He'd kill a thousand innocent civilians to end a war without a second thought. I know how the world works, Commander. Sometimes you're forced to make unpleasant decisions, but only if there's no other way. Saren doesn't even look for another option. He's twisted, broken. He likes the violence, the killing. And he knows how to cover his tracks.”

“Well, we're going to have to deal with Saren ourselves. The Council is obviously not going to help us.”

Ambassador Udina cut in, “As a Spectre, he's virtually untouchable. We need to find some way to expose him.”

“What about that C-Sec investigator, Garrus?” asked Kaidan. A thrill ran up Shepard's spine at the mention of his name.

“That's right!” said Ashley. “He was asking for more time to finish his report. Seems like he was close to finding something on Saren.”

“Any idea where we could find him?” Shepard asked Udina.

“I have a contact in C-Sec who can help us track Garrus down. His name is Harkin,” he answered.

“Forget it,” Anderson said sharply. “They suspended Harkin last month for drinking on the job. I wouldn't waste my time on him. He's probably down at Chora's Den right now, getting drunk.”

“Well, maybe there's another way to find evidence, sir,” Shepard said.

“You should talk to Barla Von in the financial district. Rumor has it he's an agent for the Shadow Broker.”

“The Shadow Broker?” asked Ashley.

“An information dealer. He buys and sells secrets to the highest bidder. I've heard Barla Von's one of the top representatives. He might have information on Saren, but it won't be cheap.”

“Excuse me. I have important business to attend,” said Udina. “Captain, I'd like to see you later to discuss some matters of significance.”

“Understood, Ambassador,” said Anderson with a curt nod.

Shepard watched the inscrutable man hurry away. “Our ambassador doesn't seem to get along with the Council.”

“He's just frustrated,” explained Anderson. “The Council's always preaching that we need to be a part of the galactic community, but for them it's a one-way street. They want us to expand and settle unstable regions like the Skyllian Verge and the Attican Traverse. But when we run into trouble, they don't want to help us out. Everyone knows it's only a matter of time until we get a seat on the Council. The ambassador just thinks it should happen sooner rather than later, and I agree.”

“Maybe they'd let us join the Council if we were more willing to cooperate with the other species, sir,” Shepard said, thinking of all the distrust and arrogance she'd seen in humans recently.

“Of course they would! If we did everything they told us to, they'd love to have us on the Council. But it wouldn't be much of a deal for us. I understand their side. They don't want us dominating the Council. It's founded on cooperation and alliances. But we have to look out for our own interests, too.”

Shepard nodded, allayed by Captain Anderson's words. She hadn't realized how rampant xenophobia was; it had never really come up before in her military career. It was something she didn't feel, and didn't want to concern herself with from those around her. But now that being surrounded by other species was a certainty, she wanted relations to go smoothly.

“Thank you Captain, for all the information. If you'll excuse me, it sounds like I have some legwork to do. The sooner I get started, the sooner Saren will lose his Spectre status.”

“Good luck, Commander. I'll be over in the ambassador's office if you need anything else.”

 

Shepard, followed by her team, took the incredibly long elevator ride back down to the Presidium. “Where do you think we should head first, Shepard?” asked Kaidan.

“I think we'll get more accurate information from the Shadow Broker agent than we will from some scumbag drunk in a dirty bar. Let's go there first, and if the information's not particularly useful, we can check out Harkin,” Shepard answered.

“I knew subjectively there were a lot of species, but actually seeing them all here, living together...I'm not sure what to think,” said Ashley, looking a little uncomfortable. “They're so...different.”

“They are different,” said Shepard. “But does that have to be a bad thing? Look at us three. Each of us has a different skin tone. Our ancestors lived on different parts of Earth, and three hundred years ago, those differences would have meant that some of us would have been considered inferior to others. I'm Middle Eastern, you're Hispanic, and Kaidan is European. You and I, as women, wouldn't have been allowed any kind of authority, because women are different from men. But really, that difference has no bearing on how plausible it is for someone to command or lead others. In both cases, I should be the lowest rank, or not even in the military at all.

“But through a lot of struggle and fighting, humans have learned that those things are superficial. Deeper down, we're all the same. And I think that can translate to the other species, too. They love, they hate, they make beautiful things, they discover, they try, they succeed or fail, just like we do. Who cares if they look different? If they're willing to ignore that in us, why can't we do the same for them? Obviously, coexistence is possible. They've been doing it for hundreds of years, so why can't we just join in without causing a scene?”

“I...hadn't really thought of that, ma'am,” said Ashley. “I guess it's just going to take some getting used to.”

“That was really well said, Shepard,” added Kaidan. “You must have put a lot of thought into it.”

“I don't know,” Shepard shrugged. “I've always been intrigued by differences in cultures, even just between humans. I grew up a spacer, so there really wasn't any on the ships, but when I started learning the history of Earth, it was all the diversity that drew me in. I hadn't thought about the way I looked until I learned about the suppression of people based on such things.” She laughed a little. “And where would I fit into all that? I'm such a mix, who knows what would have happened to me back then? The honest truth though, is that it would have been impossible for me to exist. My particular combination of genetics only came about because humans found peace amongst themselves. And isn't that a beautiful thing?”

“It is,” said Kaidan, not talking about peace. Shepard looked at him sideways, a little smile dancing on her lips, and raised an eyebrow. Kaidan caught the look, and blushed, ducking his head. “So uh, where is the Financial District?”

“Just across this bridge. My omni-tool shows that Barla Von has an office right next to the rapid transit.”

When they found the office, the door opened to let them in. The interior was sparse, empty except for a large desk in the center, with a volus sitting behind it.

“Ah, Commander Shepard. The hero of the Blitz,” he greeted her, breathing heavily inside his pressure suit.

“And you must be Barla Von, agent of the Shadow Broker.”

“I am. Is there something I can help you with, Commander?”

“Yes. I was told that you'd have information on Saren. How much will it cost?” She crossed her arms, and shifted to one side.

“Oh, normally quite expensive, but now it costs nothing. The Shadow Broker is quite angry at Saren. He turned on him, and that is a foolish thing to do.”

“Saren's been doing that to a lot of people, lately.”

“Yes, well, the Shadow Broker has hired a krogan mercenary to deal with Saren now, so if you want anymore information, I suggest you go talk to him.”

“That's all you have?” She let her arms fall back down to her sides.

“I try not to get too involved with the Shadow Broker's business. That would put me in a dangerous position, and I do my best to avoid danger at all costs. The last I heard, the krogan was at the C-Sec Academy.”

“Why would a krogan go willingly to C-Sec?” she asked.

“I don't think it was all that willing. For some reason, people don't really trust krogans,” he said sarcastically.

Shepard nodded. “Thanks for the information, Barla Von. If you'll excuse us.”

“Anytime, Commander. Come back if you need anymore information. I'm sure we could come to an agreement” He went back to his terminal, his focus now on his work.

As they walked out of the office, Shepard punched up directions to C-Sec Academy. They headed down the boulevard, enjoying the view.

“A krogan, huh? I don't see any of those here,” said Kaidan.

“No, there's a statue of one right there,” said Ashley, pointing as they walked past.

“Why would there be a statue of a krogan in a place full of people that don't trust them?” asked Kaidan.

“It's to honour them for their help in the Rachni Wars. If it hadn't been for the massive armies of the krogan, the galaxy would have been lost. Instead, the rachni have been wiped out to extinction. It's just that afterward, the krogan started taking over planets for expansion without caring if those planets already had other colonies on them, and their birthrate was exponential. That led to the Krogan Rebellions, in which the turians and the salarians used biological warfare on them. The Genophage made the krogans pretty much sterile. Something like only one out of a thousand births are live; the rest are stillborn. And that was almost fifteen hundred years ago. They are dying out, and that's another reason you don't see them much.”

“You sure do know a lot about the other races, Shepard,” said Kaidan admiringly.

“Like I said, I love history and cultural studies.” she said, shrugging. “Ah, here we are.” They walked through the doors to C-Sec, and looked around for a krogan. He wasn't hard to spot, head and shoulders above the three human officers surrounding him. Really, he was just massive in general. As they walked closer to wait their turn to talk to him, they could overhear the conversation.

“Witnesses saw you making threats in Fist's bar. Stay away from him,” said one officer, trying to look tough. Next to a krogan, it was laughable.

“I don't take orders from you,” said the krogan, in a deep gravelly voice.

“This is your only warning, Wrex.”

“You should warn Fist. I will kill him,” Wrex said obstinately.

“You want me to arrest you?” asked the officer, his hard facade cracking. There was no way he could take down a krogan, and he knew it.

“I want you to try,” said Wrex, as he stepped forward, menacing the little man. Then he caught sight of Shepard waiting patiently, and turned to walk towards her.

“Go on, get out of here,” yelled the officer, one last show of feigned muscle.

“Do I know you, human?” Wrex asked, looming over Shepard.

“My name's Shepard.”

“Shepard? Commander Shepard? I've heard a lot about you. What do you want?”

“I'm looking to bring Saren down. My intel says the Shadow Broker hired you to deal with him.”

“Not Saren directly. I was hired to kill Fist, a human who stopped working for the Shadow Broker to work for Saren.”

“I'll bet Fist will have information we could use, Commander,” said Ashley.

“We're both warriors, Shepard. Out of respect, I'll give you fair warning. I am going to kill him.”

“After I talk to him, I don't care what you do. Give me that opportunity, and you can come with us,” Shepard said, crossing her arms.

“Why wouldn't I just go by myself?”

“Fist knows you're coming. We'll have a better chance if we work together.”

“My people have a saying: Seek the enemy of your enemy, and you will find a friend.”

“Glad to have you on the team, Wrex.”

“Let's go. I hate to keep Fist waiting.” 

He started to walk off, but stopped as Shepard spoke. “Hang on, I have something else to take care of first. I'm tracking down a particular C-Sec officer who might have useful information for me.”

“Well, ask somebody then. This is C-Sec,” he said impatiently.

Shepard looked around for a moment, trying to find someone of sufficient rank. When she had spotted a likely candidate, she walked purposefully towards them. “Excuse me, Officer, but I'm looking for someone. Is there any way you could tell me where Officer Vakarian is located? It's important.”

“Vakarian? Why in the world would you want to talk to him? He's a loser, going on about crazy conspiracy theories and betrayals. He doesn't know anything important.”

“It's classified. Could you just look him up in the system for me? Please?”

The officer sighed. “Alright. Let me see...it looks like he's headed to Dr. Michel's clinic nearby. There. I've sent you the coordinates.”

“Thank you for your help, Officer,” Shepard said with a warm smile.  
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. My pleasure, and all that,” he huffed, waving a hand dismissively.

Shepard walked back over to her team, frowning in thought. “Our group's getting a little big. Which one of you two are willing to go back to the ship?” she asked Kaidan and Ashley. They looked at each other a moment, then Ashley spoke up.

“I will, Shepard. Honestly, all this is a little much to take in. I need some time to process, I think.”

“I understand, Ashley. Being dumped into a whole new situation can be hard. You've had a tough couple of days, and we've already briefed the Council on Eden Prime, so you're free to go. Relax, Ashley. Take advantage of all the hot water available,” she said with a wink. Ashley gave a wan smile, and headed up the elevator to the docking bays.

“Alright you two, we're going to Dr. Michel's clinic first to talk to Vakarian, then to get Fist. Where is he, anyway?” she asked, turning to direct the question at Wrex.

“He owns Chora's Den. That's where he'll be,” he answered.

“Got it,” she said. “Let's go.”

They took the rapid transit to the ward clinic hallway, and walked through the doors. At first glance, the doctor was being shoved around by three thugs who were threatening her. At second glance, Shepard could see Garrus hiding behind a wall with a sniper rifle, waiting for the perfect shot. Her stomach flipped at the site of him. As the doors opened, the thug nearest Dr. Michel grabbed her to his chest with a gun against her head. While he was distracted by Shepard, Garrus took the shot, hitting him between the eyes. All hell broke loose for about two seconds, as Shepard pulled out her rifle and sniped the thug on the left, and Garrus finished the one on the right.

As Shepard put her weapon away, she turned around to look at Kaidan and Wrex. To their credit, they were both armed, but they looked a little humiliated. “You guys are going to have to be faster than that to be on my ground team. Beaten by two snipers, tsk tsk,” she smirked.

“Perfect timing, Commander. You gave me a clear shot,” said Garrus from behind her.

Shepard whirled around, the smile gone, her eyes snapping with anger. “You! What were you thinking?” She stalked towards him, her finger out, jabbing him in the chest. “You could have hit the hostage!” Then she side-stepped him and went to help Dr. Michel up from the floor.

“There wasn't time to think! I just reacted. I didn't mean to- Dr. Michel? Are you hurt?” His body swiveled to follow her while he talked, then followed her to the doctor.

“No, I'm okay. Thanks to you. All of you,” she answered in a thick French accent.

“I know those men threatened you,” Shepard said comfortingly, an arm around her shoulders. “But if you tell us who they work for, we can protect you.”

“They work for Fist. They wanted to shut me up, to keep me from telling Garrus about the quarian.” Wrex stepped forward at the mention of Fist, but didn't interrupt.

“What quarian?” asked Garrus.

Shepard couldn't focus for a moment, distracted by the proximity of the turian. _What is wrong with me? I don't even know him! Stop it!_ she told herself. The tingling of her skin wouldn't go away, but she tried her best to ignore it.

“A few days ago, a quarian came by my office. She'd been shot, but she wouldn't tell me who did it. I could tell she was scared, probably on the run. She asked me about the Shadow Broker. She wanted to trade information in exchange for a safe place to hide.”

“Then what happened?” asked Shepard.

“I put her in contact with Fist. He's an agent for the Shadow Broker.”

“Not anymore,” said Wrex, stepping in. “Now he works for Saren, and the Shadow Broker isn't happy. I was hired to kill him.”

“Fist betrayed the Shadow Broker? That's stupid, even for him. Saren must have made him quite the offer,” Dr. Michel said, shaking her head.

“The quarian must have something Saren wants. Something worth crossing the Shadow Broker to get,” said Garrus.

Shepard avoided his gaze, instead directing her words to the doctor. “She must have something that proves he's a traitor. Did the quarian mention anything about Saren? Or the geth?”

“She did! The information she was going to trade. She said it had something to do with the geth.”

“She must be able to link Saren to them,” said Garrus. “There's no way the council can ignore this!” The fervor in his voice made Shepard look up at him involuntarily, and her mouth went dry. “This is your show, Shepard. But I want to bring Saren down as much as you do. I want to come with you.”

Shepard swallowed and asked, managing to sound normal, “Why do you hate Saren so much?”

“He's a disgrace! A disgrace to the Spectres, a disgrace to the Council, and a disgrace to turians as a whole! If I let him get away with this, when I could have helped stop it, how am I any better than him? He can't continue. This needs to end.” His fury made his brilliant blue eyes flash.

“You can come with me on one condition,” she said, her face turning hard. “You will never, _ever,_ jeopardize a civilian's life like that again, do you understand me?”

“Yes,” Garrus answered.

She got up in his face, as well as she could, being six inches shorter. “I said, _do you understand me?_ ”

“Yes, ma'am!” he said, snapping to attention, a reflex to the sound of a commanding officer.

“Good. Because we are here to protect civilians, not endanger them. Why fight at all, if innocents don't matter?” She walked over to Wrex and Kaidan. “Let's go get Fist.”

While Shepard, Wrex, and Garrus took the short walk a few floors down to Chora's Den, Kaidan took a rapid transit back to the Normandy. Wrex and Garrus were both personally invested in the mission, so he knew they'd do a good job keeping Shepard safe, and his migraine was coming back. He was also worried about Ashley, and wanted to check up on her.

As Shepard and her new team neared Chora's Den, it was obvious something was going on. The place was eerily quiet, no loud beating music was playing at all.

“Fist knows we're coming,” said Garrus quietly. They all readied their weapons. Garrus and Shepard both pulled out their snipers, and Wrex had an assault rifle. Shepard raised an eyebrow at Garrus' back, curious how two snipers was going to play out. They both had other weapons available to them, but neither one wanted to give up their favourite. The situation made her competitive side stir, and she wanted to make sure she was better than the turian. Just then, Garrus turned his head, and caught her expression. His was mimicking her own, and they both spontaneously smiled at each other. The game was on.

Shepard went to the left side of the door, Garrus went to the right, and Wrex just stood right in front of it. Wrex looked at her and she nodded, so he swiped his hand over the green panel and the door opened. Immediately he ran into the fray, spraying bullets everywhere, and roaring a battle cry. Shepard aimed for thugs that were in the back, and Garrus aimed for the ones that were on the dancing platforms.  
“Two!” hollered out Garrus.  
 _Oh, is that how we're going to play?_ thought Shepard. “Three!” she yelled, as her third thug fell over a table. She immediately reloaded her Avenger, and aimed for a fourth. He went down with a hole right between the eyes. “Four!”

“Three!” said Garrus at the same time. Shepard took a moment to check on Wrex and reposition herself further in the room, taking cover behind an overturned table. “Four!” Garrus shouted. Shepard whipped her head around to see his number four go down, a beautiful shot through an eye socket. She turned back to Wrex, just as he mowed down the last two thugs who were standing in front of a door.

“Clear!” said Garrus, as he reloaded and sauntered his way over to Shepard and Wrex. “It's six to five right now, Shepard.”

“I just wanted you to feel like you were part of the team, Vakarian. I won't go so easy on you next time,” she answered with a smirk, reloading her rifle.

“Fist's office is through here,” said Wrex, motioning to the door with his gun. They walked through, Shepard taking point, and ran into two unarmoured men standing behind some crates.

“Stop right there! Don't come any closer!” called one of them, pointing a pistol in their general direction.

“Warehouse workers,” said Garrus. “All the real guards must be dead.” Shepard nodded in acknowledgment.

“Stay back or we'll shoot!” cried the other one, his hands visibly shaking on his gun.

“This would be a good time to find somewhere else to work. I don't think you're getting paid enough for this kind of overtime,” said Shepard calmly, lowering her rifle.

The first one wavered for a moment, then lowered his weapon. “Yeah. Yeah, you're right. That's a good idea.” 

The second followed suit. “I never liked Fist anyway.”

Shepard motioned toward them to walk past and exit out the door they'd just come through. After they'd left, Garrus said, “I never would've thought of that.” He looked at Shepard with a mix of wonder and respect.

“Shooting people isn't always the answer. Remember what I said about civilians? That goes for civilians with guns too,” she answered, threading her way around the boxes.

Down the corridor and around two corners, they came to a door that opened automatically. Fist, a human with a dark flat top, was standing behind a desk in a swanky office. “Why do I have to do everything myself? Time to die, little soldiers!” he screamed as he pushed a button on his terminal. A defensive turret on either side of the desk rose up from the floor and took automatic aim at them. Shepard and Garrus took cover on either side of the door, but Wrex, with his krogan regeneration, didn't even bother. He put a barrier up around himself, and sprayed bullets all around the room. Shepard once again aimed to the left, targeting the turret there, and Garrus went right. The turrets self-destructed at almost the same time, and everyone turned their focus on Fist.

He was cowering in the corner with his hands up, wailing, “Wait! Don't kill me! I surrender!”

Shepard trained her rifle on him, and held it not two feet from his face. Not generally meant for close encounters, at this range it would be just fine. She wouldn't need her scope to hit the target. “Where's the quarian?”

“She's not here. I don't know where she is! That's the truth!” he cringed back from the gun.

Wrex reloaded his assault rifle menacingly and said, “He's no use to you now. Let me kill him.”

“Wait, wait! I don't know where the quarian is, but I know where you can find her. The quarian isn't here, said she'd only deal with the Shadow Broker himself.”

“Face to face? Impossible. Even I was hired through an agent.,” said Wrex.  
Shepard lowered her sniper, knowing Wrex was more than ready. Fist stood up and dusted himself off. “Nobody meets the Shadow Broker. Ever. Even I don't know his true identity. But she didn't know that. I told her I'd set a meeting up. But when she shows up, it'll be Saren's men waiting for her.”

Shepard lunged forward and grabbed his collar, pulling him down so close, their noses were almost touching. “Give me the location! Now!” Then she let go, shoving him back so he stumbled.

“Here on the wards,” he yelped, his voice cracking. “The back alley by the markets. She's supposed to meet them right now. You can make it if you hurry.” Wrex blasted him in the chest, and he hit the wall then slid down, dead.

“What are you doing?” asked Garrus incredulously.

“The Shadow Broker paid me to kill him. I don't leave jobs half done,” Wrex answered. 

Shepard eyed him, but didn't say anything for a minute. Then, “Try not to shoot anymore unarmed prisoners, alright?”

“How many people died because of him? He brought this on himself,” he said back. 

“We have more pressing concerns,” Garrus interjected. “That quarian's dead if we don't go now!”

They headed back down the corridor to Chora's Den, which was full of more thugs, probably called by Fist when he'd pushed that button. Shepard ducked down behind a table to the left, and checked her sniper. She looked over at Wrex, peppering the ones close by, and then at Garrus, running while crouched part way around the ring of the room. She looked back to her section, and focused her breathing. She took aim, and shot one running towards her between the eyes. The force of the shot knocked his feet out from under him as he fell on his back. “Six!” she yelled.

“Seven, Eight!” she heard from the other side of the room.

_Was that two in one?_ she thought as she took down another. “Seven!” She vaulted the table, and ran while reloading, then skidded to a stop, aimed quickly, and took down the last man, just as Garrus was aiming for him. “Eight,” she said, lowering her rifle, grinning at him. “Now we're tied.”

“Yeah, but that last one wasn't very clean. You must have been really worried that I was going to beat you, Shepard.”

“No, I just didn't want you to get hurt,” she taunted. “Since I'm sure you're normally behind a desk and not used to these kinds of situations anymore.”

“And yet, I still managed to tie you. That means you're only as good as a paper-pushing turian. So with just a little more practice, I'll beat you every time.”

“That's what you think.”

“I guess we'll just have to see,” he said, walking towards her.

Her heart gave a little leap at the thought of him being near. “I guess we will,” she answered, sounding normal.

“Are you guys done? Or are kill shots more important than that quarian now?” asked Wrex, standing next to the exit. Shepard and Garrus walked to the exit in perfect unison, glancing sideways at each other and smirking. Shepard thought it was funny that she could read his expressions so well, having barely known him a few hours, as well as him being a different species entirely. Maybe it was just that she could tell he was smiling. Maybe she wouldn't be able to tell if he was angry or worried or sad. Her thoughts continued down a similar vein as they ran down the hallways and up the stairs to the alley Fist had mentioned. At the top of the stairs, they looked down into the little dead end. A turian assassin was approaching the quarian, who was completely concealed by an enviro-suit, while two salarians in full body armour stood by behind her.

“Did you bring it?” asked the assassin.

“Where's the Shadow Broker? Where's Fist?” demanded the quarian, with an unfamiliar accent.

The assassin was now right in front of her, and ran his hand sensually down along the side of her mask and her left arm. “They'll be here. Where's the evidence?”

She smacked his hand off of her and took a step back. “No way. The deal's off.” Before anyone else could react, she turned and threw a grenade at the two salarians, then dove for cover behind a crate. Shepard aimed at the back of the turian's head and squeezed her trigger, but it only dropped his shields. Her bullet was followed by one from Garrus, which took him down. She looked for the salarians, but Wrex and the quarian had already taken care of them.

“Nine,” Garrus said, flaring his mandibles wide in his turian smile.

“That was a joint kill,” She argued. “You couldn't have taken him down without my shot dropping his shields.”

He shrugged good-naturedly. “But I'm the one who killed him. Better luck next time, Shepard.” He clapped his hand on her shoulder for a moment as he walked by, a comradely show of affection. 

As he went down the stairs in front of her, she thought about his hand, large with two long fingers and a thumb, all ending in deadly talons. She wondered what it looked like without gloves on. She shook her head to clear it, then followed him. _I sure hope more frequent association with him puts an end to this,_ she thought.

The quarian was not happy. “Fist set me up! That bosh'tet! I knew I couldn't trust him!”

“Don't worry about Fist,” said Wrex. “He got what was coming to him,” lifting his assault rifle pointedly.

“Then I guess there are two things I need to thank you for. But who are you?” she turned her helmeted head towards Shepard. The glow of her eyes through the purple face shield shrank in size, as if she was squinting.

“My name's Shepard, that's Wrex, and this is Vakarian,” she motioned to each of them as she spoke. “We're looking for evidence to prove Saren's a traitor.”

“Then I have a chance to repay you for saving my life. But not here. We need to go somewhere safe. I'm Tali, by the way. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya,” she said.

“Let's go to the human ambassador's office. It's safe there, and I'm sure he'll want to see whatever you have anyway,” Shepard said. Tali nodded, and she followed them out of the alley and onto the rapid transit.

At the ambassador's office, Udina started berating Shepard before he even turned around to see if it was actually her. “You're not making my life easy, Shepard. Firefights in the wards? An all-out assault on Chora's Den? Do you know how many-” he cut off as he turned and saw Tali. “Who's this? A quarian? What are you up to, Shepard?”

Shepard answered nonchalantly, “Making your day, Ambassador. She has information linking Saren to the geth.”

“Really?” He seemed excited. “Maybe you'd better start at the beginning, Miss...?”

“Tali. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya.” she answered.

“We don't see many quarians here. Why did you leave the flotilla?” For once, Udina's arrogant attitude was practically nonexistent.

“I was on my Pilgrimage, my rite of passage into adulthood,” she said. At the looks of wonder and confusion around her, she continued. “It is a tradition among my people. When we reach maturity, we leave the ships of our parents and our people behind. Alone, we search the stars, only returning to the flotilla once we have discovered something of value. It could be resources like food or fuel, or some type of useful technology. Or even knowledge that will make life easier on the flotilla. Through our Pilgrimage, we prove ourselves worthy of adulthood. We prove that we will contribute to the community, rather than being a burden on our limited resources.”

“So, what did you find?” asked Shepard.

“During my travels I began hearing reports of geth. Since they drove my people into exile, the geth have never ventured beyond the Veil. I was curious. I tracked a patrol of geth to an uncharted world. I waited for one to become separated from its unit. Then I disabled it and removed its memory core,” Tali said.

Captain Anderson spoke for the first time. “I thought the geth fried their memory cores when they died. Some kind of defense mechanism.”

“How did you manage to preserve the memory core?” wondered Shepard.

“My people created the geth,” explained Tali. “If you're quick, careful, and lucky, small caches of data can sometimes be saved. Most of the core was wiped clean. But I salvaged something from its audio banks.” She accessed something on her omni-tool, then pressed play.

A recording of Saren's voice could be heard saying, “Eden Prime was a major victory! The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit.”

Anderson's eyes lit up with a fire Shepard hadn't seen before. “That's Saren's voice! This proves he was involved in the attack!”

“He said he was one step closer to finding the Conduit. Any idea what that means?” Shepard asked everyone, hoping someone would have an answer.

“The Conduit must have something to do with the beacon. Maybe it's some kind of Prothean technology...like a weapon,” said Anderson, pacing back and forth.

“Wait,” said Tali. “There's more. Saren wasn't working alone.” She replayed the recording. Saren's voice repeated, and then a woman's voice came on.

“And one step closer to the return of the Reapers,” it said.

“I don't recognize that other voice,” said Udina.

Shepard asked, “Reapers? Are they some kind of new alien species?”

Tali shook her head. “According to the memory core, the Reapers were a hyper-advanced machine race that existed 50,000 years ago. The Reapers hunted the Protheans to total extinction, and then they vanished. At least, that's what the geth believe,” she finished with a shrug.

“The vision on Eden Prime – I understand it now. I saw the Protheans being wiped out by the Reapers,” said Shepard, one hand on her forehead.

“The geth revere the Reapers as gods, the pinnacle of non-organic life. And they believe Saren knows how to bring the Reapers back,” explained Tali.

“The Council is just going to love this!” said Udina. 

Shepard had almost forgotten about them, her mind off in deep space with the Reapers and Saren. “The Reapers are a threat to every species in Citadel space. We have to tell them” she said.

“No matter what they think about the rest of this, those audio files prove Saren's a traitor.” Anderson was full of conviction. Finally, after twenty years, Saren would be brought to justice.

“The captain's right,” agreed Udina. “We need to present this to the Council right away.”

“What about her?” asked Garrus, motioning towards Tali.

“You saw me in the alley, Commander. You know what I can do. Let me come with you.” Tali stepped forward while talking, her voice earnest.

“I thought you were on your Pilgrimage,” said Shepard.

“The Pilgrimage proves we are willing to give of ourselves for the greater good. What does it say about me if I turn my back on this? Saren is a danger to the entire galaxy. My Pilgrimage can wait,” answered Tali.

“I'll take all the help I can get,” Shepard said with a smile.

“Thanks. You won't regret this.”

Udina, ignoring Tali and Shepard's conversation, said, “Anderson and I will go ahead to get things ready with the Council. Take a few minutes to collect yourself, then meet us in the Tower.”

The Captain and the Ambassador left, leaving Shepard in a room of people she'd only just met today. She smiled at the direction her life was obviously taking, meeting new species and working directly alongside them. She shifted to one hip, and crossed her arms, still smiling. “I can't take all three of you to see the Council, I can only take two. Vakarian, you started the investigation into Saren, and Tali, you found the evidence. Wrex, I think you should stay behind.”

“As long as you don't leave me on the Citadel, that's fine. I'm coming with you. You're a good warrior, but you need a Battlemaster on your side,” he answered.

“In that case, you can just go on ahead to the Normandy. I'll send word, so they'll be expecting you,” said Shepard.

“Shepard,” he said as a way of farewell.

“Wrex,” she answered.

At the top of the Tower, they met Anderson waiting for them, just like before. And just like before, Shepard was late.

“Come on. Udina's presenting the quarian's evidence to the Council,” said Anderson. Shepard could hear the recording playing. 

After it finished, Udina said vehemently, “You wanted proof, there it is!”

The turian Councilor said, “This evidence is irrefutable, Ambassador. Saren will be stripped of his Spectre status and all efforts will be made to bring him in to answer for his crimes.”

“I recognize the other voice, the one speaking with Saren. It's Matriarch Benezia,” said the asari Councilor.

“Who is she?” asked Shepard.

“Matriarchs are powerful asari who have entered the final stage of their lives. Revered for their wisdom and experience, they serve as guides and mentors to my people,” she explained. “Matriarch Benezia is a powerful biotic, and she had many followers. She will make a formidable ally for Saren.”

“I'm more interested in the Reapers. What do you know about them?” asked the salarian Councilor.

“Only what was extracted from the geth's memory core,” answered Anderson. “The Reapers were an ancient race of machines that wiped out the Protheans. Then they vanished.”

“The geth believe the Reapers are gods, and Saren is the prophet of their return,” added Shepard.

“We think the Conduit is the key to bringing them back. Saren's searching for it. That's why he attacked Eden Prime,” said Anderson.

“Do we even know what this Conduit is?” asked the salarian.

“Saren thinks it can bring back the Reapers. That's bad enough,” said Shepard, shrugging.

“Listen to what you're saying!” interjected the turian Councilor. “Saren wants to bring back the machines that wiped out all life in the galaxy? Impossible. It has to be. Where did the Reapers go? Why did they vanish? How come we've found no trace of their existence? If they were real, we'd have found something!”

“I tried to warn you about Saren, and you refused to face the truth. Don't make the same mistake again,” said Shepard coldly.

“This is different,” soothed the asari. “You proved Saren betrayed the Council. We all agree he's using the geth to search for the Conduit, but we don't really know why.”

“The Reapers are obviously just a myth, Commander. A convenient lie to cover Saren's true purpose. A legend he is using to bend the geth to his will,” said the salarian Councilor, dismissing the notion with a wave of his hand.

“Fifty thousand years ago, the Reapers wiped out all galactic civilization. If Saren finds the Conduit, it will happen again!” insisted Shepard.

“Saren is a rogue agent on the run for his life. He no longer has the rights or resources of a Spectre. The Council has stripped him of his position,” said the turian Councilor, trying to keep the meeting on track.

“That is not good enough! You know he's hiding somewhere in the Traverse. Send your fleet in!” screeched Udina. Shepard held back a sigh at his lack of control.

“A fleet cannot track down one man,” reasoned the salarian.

“A Citadel fleet could secure the entire region. Keep the geth from attacking any more of our colonies,” argued Udina.

“Or it could trigger a war with the Terminus Systems! We won't be dragged into a galactic confrontation over a few dozen human colonies!” shouted the turian.

Shepard stepped forward, hoping to stop the argument before it got out of hand. _He thinks he has to clean up my messes, but here I am cleaning up his,_ she thought. “I can take Saren down.”

“The Commander's right,” said the asari. “There is a way to stop Saren that doesn't require fleets or armies.”

“No! It's too soon. Humanity is not ready for the responsibilities that come with joining the Spectres,” asserted the turian Councilor.

“Humanity may not be ready, Councilors, but I am. This way, you don't have to send a fleet into the Traverse, and the Ambassador gets his human Spectre. Everybody's happy,” said Shepard. The Councilors all looked at each other, judging the opinions of the others silently. Then they all started inputting information into their terminals.

The asari spoke first. “Commander Shepard – step forward. It is the decision of the Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel.”

The salarian continued smoothly, “Spectres are not trained, but chosen. Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle, those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file.”

The asari spoke again. “Spectres are an ideal, a symbol. The embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will.”

Then the turian said, “Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold.”

The asari finished with, “You are the first human Spectre, Commander. This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species.”

Shepard bowed her head solemnly. “I'm honored, Councilors.”

“We're sending you into the Traverse after Saren. He's a fugitive from justice, so you are authorized to use any means necessary to apprehend or eliminate him,” said the salarian, the momentous occasion over quickly.

“Do you have any idea where to find him?” asked Shepard.

“We will forward any relevant files to Ambassador Udina,” said the turian.

“This meeting of the Council is adjourned,” said the asari Councilor.

Shepard and her company walked down the steps before they stopped to talk.

“Congratulations, Commander,” said Captain Anderson, shaking her hand with a wide smile. Shepard beamed back.

“We've got a lot of work to do, Shepard. You're going to need a ship, a crew, supplies...” said Udina, oblivious to the celebratory mood.

“You'll get access to special equipment and training now. You should go down to the C-Sec Academy to speak to the Spectre requisitions officer,” said Anderson.

“Anderson, come with me. I'll need your help to set all this up.” Udina spoke quickly, before walking away in a rush.

“I thought the ambassador would be a little more grateful,” said Garrus, his subharmonics vibrating a pitch Shepard hadn't heard before.

_Confusion, maybe? Or disappointment? I'd better do some research later, or we're going to end up with some serious misunderstandings on our hands,_ she thought to herself. 

“He didn't even thank you,” added Tali.

Shepard smiled at them. “Until I find Saren, I haven't done anything worth thanking. Come on,” she answered, heading down the long flight of stairs that lead to the very long elevator ride.

“Right behind you, Shepard,” said Tali.

 

Shepard spent the next few hours wandering around the Citadel, picking up supplies for her new team members, including foodstuffs, because quarians and turians both couldn't eat human food. They were dextro-amino based lifeforms, where humans and the other species were levo-based. Ingesting anything with the wrong amino acids could lead to serious allergic reactions, and the last thing Shepard needed was part of her team down for something so easily avoided. It helped that Garrus and Tali were with her, because that way they got to purchase decent rations, instead of something bland or disgusting. Shepard had had her share of nearly inedible military meals. Thinking about that, she went ahead and bought better human food, too. She even purchased a few things that were specifically krogan, and had it all sent to the Normandy.

They stopped by the Spectre Requisitions office Anderson had mentioned, and with her new stipend, she purchased better weapons and armour for her whole ground team. _I could really get used to this!_ she thought. The looks on Tali's and Garrus' faces were definitely worth it, and the thought of the other three being equally happy brought a smile of pride to her face.

As she meandered, slowly making her way back to the Normandy where Anderson had messaged her to meet him, she ran into people who recognized her and were asking for her help. She made a note of their requests, took care of the ones she could, and promised to look into the others when she had the time. It seemed to her like these were the kinds of things Spectres should be doing; the things other branches of law and government couldn't or wouldn't take care of.

On the dock next to the Normandy, both Captain Anderson and Ambassador Udina were waiting for her. Udina spoke, the first smile Shepard had seen on his face. “I've got big news for you, Shepard. Captain Anderson is stepping down as commanding officer of the Normandy. The ship is yours now.”

“She's quick and quiet and you know the crew. Perfect ship for a Spectre. Treat her well, Commander,” added Anderson.

Shepard was stunned. “I want the truth. Why are you stepping down, sir?”

“You needed your own ship. A Spectre can't answer to anyone but the Council. And it's time for me to step down.”

That last part just didn't make any sense. She shook her head and crossed her arms. “Come clean with me, Captain. You owe me that much.”

“I was in your shoes twenty years ago, Shepard. They were considering me for the Spectres.”

“Why didn't you ever mention this?” she asked, surprised, dropping her arms.

“What was I supposed to say? 'I could've been a Spectre but I blew it?' I failed, Commander. It's not something I'm proud of. Ask me some other time, and I'll tell you the whole story. For now, all you need to know is I was sent on that mission with Saren, and he made sure the Council rejected me. I had my shot. It came and went. Now you have a chance to make up for my mistakes,” he said firmly, confident in her.

“I won't let you down, sir.”

“Saren's gone,” Anderson said, changing the subject. “Don't even try to find him. But we know what he's after: the Conduit. He's got his geth scouring the Traverse looking for clues.”

“We had reports of geth in the Feros system shortly before our colony there dropped out of contact. And there have been sightings around Noveria,” continued Udina.

“Find out what Saren was after on Feros and Noveria. Maybe you can figure out where the Conduit is before he does,” added Anderson.

“The Reapers are the real threat,” insisted Shepard.

“I'm with the Council on this one, Shepard. I'm not sure they even exist,” said Udina.

“But if they do exist, the Conduit's the key to bringing them back. Stop Saren from getting the Conduit and we stop the Reapers from returning,” Anderson said.

“I'll stop him,” Shepard said, with all the conviction she had.

“We have one more lead,” added Udina. “Matriarch Benezia, the other voice on that recording? She has a daughter, a scientist who specializes in the Protheans. We don't know if she's involved, but it might be a good idea to try and find her. See what she knows. Her name's Liara. Dr. Liara T'Soni. We have reports she was exploring an archeological dig on one of the uncharted worlds in the Artemis Tau cluster.”

“It sounds like we should head there first.”

“It's your decision, Commander. You're a Spectre now. You don't answer to us,” said Anderson proudly.

“But your actions still reflect on humanity as a whole. You make a mess and I get stuck cleaning it up,” interjected Udina.

Shepard managed not to snort. “I'll try not to make things any harder on you, Ambassador.”

“Glad to hear it, Commander. Remember: you were a human long before you were a Spectre.”

_What's that supposed to mean?_ she thought to herself. 

“I have a meeting to get to,” he continued. “Captain Anderson can answer any questions you might have.” He stalked off in a hurry.

Shepard turned back to her captain. She really liked and respected Anderson, and this couldn't be easy on him. He'd only had the Normandy in his command for a few months, and now it was being taken from him? She shook her head sadly. “How are you holding up, Captain?”

Anderson sighed, his military control easing slightly. “Honestly? This isn't how I pictured my career coming to an end. Pushing papers really isn't my thing.” He looked dejected, but then he smiled warmly at her. “But you're the one who can stop Saren. I believe in you, Shepard. If that means I have to step aside, so be it.”

“Thank you for everything you've done for me, sir. I hope to live up to your expectations.”

“I know you will, Commander. Now go board your ship. We've already let them know that you're the CO, but they're expecting a speech from you. I'll be here if you need anything, Shepard. Don't forget that. I'm still behind you one hundred percent.”

“Thank you again, Captain.” She shook his hand with all the goodwill she had, a bright smile on her face. She saluted him one last time, and then led her new team onto the Normandy.


	5. Artemis Tau

Kaidan made his way back to the Normandy, his mind on the commander. The day's events had given him plenty to contemplate, but his thoughts ever turned to her part in them. Over the last few months, he had found himself regarding her with increasing affection. It was more than simple desire, and deeper than respect. Sure, she was beautiful, strong, and smart. But she was also kindhearted and honourable. The fact that she genuinely cared about people was just made more obvious by the events of the last forty-eight hours. The way she helped the colonists on Eden Prime, and then Ashley and himself in the aftermath, her speech about differences and cultures, the way she treated the aliens...he shook his head in wonder. And even with that, she was steel underneath it all. Unbreakable, unchanging, dependable, powerful. She'd made it through N training, saved a colony before even that, and it hadn't turned her hard or cynical. She was who she was, and no matter what came her way, she would always remain. Nothing could break her. It was encouraging to know that even at the end of this Saren business, and whatever came after that, she would come out on top, still compassionate and sincere. 

He entered the decontamination room from the dock, waited patiently, and then stepped into the cockpit. Joker was there, of course. Even with the ship having been docked for hours now, there were still things he was doing, but Kaidan didn't know how. 

Joker's chair spun around to face him. “Got kicked off the Citadel? What'd you do, Biotic-boy? Explode somebody?” His eyes were lit from within. Kaidan was used to Joker's special brand of teasing by now, but he still wasn't comfortable enough with the flight lieutenant to respond in kind. 

Instead, he just quietly smiled at him, and said, “No.” 

“You did, didn't you! Look at that smug face! I hope it was worth it, just wait till the captain finds out!” he crowed. 

Kaidan just shook his head, wearing a grin now, and walked around the CIC to the stairs. His smile faded as his thoughts turned inward again, a frown gently creasing his brow. He had told Shepard that his migraine was coming back, but it really wasn't bad enough to warrant returning to the ship; he'd worked through much worse. He could tell that she had wanted the krogan and the turian with her for the rest of the mission, and he felt that he was just going to be in the way. With the way he had bungled Eden Prime, he didn't trust himself to not cause any more problems, or to keep her safe. Honestly, he probably _was_ keeping her safe by staying behind. Just look at that beacon mess. If he hadn't had been such an idiot, she wouldn't have almost died and been knocked unconscious for fifteen hours. For now at least, it was better that he wasn't around. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day. 

He made his way down to the cargo bay after seeing that the mess and crew quarters were empty. He remembered that Ashley had seemed the most comfortable down there at the weapons bench, disassembling and cleaning the guns. Sure enough, that's where she was, polishing a Lancer assault rifle. He could tell that she was deep in her thoughts, probably caused by the same person that were causing his. 

“Hey,” he said. 

She dropped the rifle and looked up stunned, as the gun clattered loudly on the metal worktable. “Oh! Kaidan! I didn't hear you come in. Is Shepard back?” 

“No, not yet. After you left, we went to a clinic and rescued a doctor being held at gunpoint. That Garrus guy was there, so I left Shepard with Wrex and him to chase down some guy named Fist and find a quarian who's supposed to have information on Saren. They knew more than I did. I figured they'd be more useful to her than I would.” He shrugged. “But anyway, how are you doing? Everything okay?” 

Ashley picked up the Lancer, inspected it, and began polishing it again. She waited a few moments before answering. “I don't know, I guess so. It's just...” she paused, looking up at him and met his light brown eyes with her dark ones. She could see the sincerity there, and decided to trust him. “It's just that my grandfather was General Williams. _The_ General Williams, the one who surrendered to the turians on Shanxi during the First Contact War. To this day, he is still the only human to have surrendered to an alien force. Nothing official happened, his action did save the rest of the colony, but he was disgraced. Eventually, he left altogether, but his disgrace affected my father's military career, and then mine. Let's just say that negative feelings towards alien races runs in my family right alongside that disgrace. Is it right? Is it fair? No, I know that but...habits die hard.” She shrugged with one shoulder, looking down at her work. 

Kaidan just listened quietly as she continued. “I've been trying to get posted on a ship for years, and even with all my effort and commendations, I keep getting denied, because of my name. And then, out of nowhere, Shepard and you appear, and my whole life is changed. I've finally gotten what I wanted, but it comes with so much attached to it. I want to be ready for it, I want to prove to the Alliance and the rest of the galaxy that the Williams can be trusted. But can I, if it means disagreeing with the things I was taught as a child, and changing how I feel? How I react to them?” She motioned her arm in a wide arc, signifying all the species in the galaxy. She sighed. “It's just a lot, like I said to her. I want to get over it. I hope I can.” 

“You're a strong person, Ashley. You were the sole survivor back there, and you stayed focused during all the fighting. You did better than I did. If you can do all that, I know you can do this too, if it's what you want. Believe in yourself. You were trained to deal with hard situations, remember?” 

She smiled up at Kaidan, her features relaxing. They'd been tense so long, he didn't even notice it until it was gone. Come to think of it, they'd been that way since Eden Prime. She looked almost like a different person, with a real smile instead of anxiety pinching her face. “Thanks, Kaidan.” 

“It was nothing.” He smiled at her, then looked around the cargo bay. He shifted his weight from foot to foot for a moment, then cleared his throat. “I'm uh, going to go back up.” He jerked his head in the direction of the elevator as he spoke. “It was nice talking to you, Ashley. See you around,” he said awkwardly while walking backwards away from her. He waved, then turned quickly and fled. 

_Idiot,_ he thought to himself. _Can't you just have a normal conversation with a new person without making things weird? No. No, you can't. It takes months of knowing someone before that stops. Idiot,_ he thought again, as he waited for the glacial elevator to make its way up, taking him to his respective freedom.

 

Kaidan was sitting in the copilot chair next to Joker when a message notification popped up on his terminal. It was from Commander Shepard to the Normandy as a whole, and it wasn't marked urgent or private. He opened it, after seeing that Joker was in the middle of something delicate. It was a quick message stating that a krogan Battlemaster named Urdnot Wrex was coming aboard to join the mission, pending Captain Anderson's approval. Kaidan turned to Joker and said, “Hey, I think you should look at this.” 

Joker looked over briefly, then went back to what he was doing. “It's not marked urgent, gimme just a sec...” He tapped the holo keyboard quickly a few more times, and then shut down his program, finished. “Okay Biotic-boy, whadaya got?” 

“It's a message from Shepard. She says to expect a krogan aboard, joining our ground team. His name is Urdnot Wrex, and he's a Battlemaster? Whatever that means. It's probably the same one we met at C-Sec. I don't think many krogans are on the Presidium.” 

“A krogan? Okay, but if he smashes my baby with his head or something, we're going to have problems.” 

“With his head?” Kaidan asked skeptically. 

“Yeah, krogans like to use their skulls as blunt-force objects. They're not really good for anything else.” 

“And you've known a lot of krogans?” Kaidan said, raising an eyebrow. 

Joker coughed. “I've seen plenty of extranet videos. Well, better warn the rest of the crew.” He turned back to his terminal and accessed the intercom. “Attention Normandy, this is Flight Lieutenant Joker speaking. We will be welcoming a krogan into our ranks, so nobody freak out or shoot him, okay? He's Shepard's friend. Just play nice, and let me know if he smashes anything with his head. Joker out.” 

A few minutes later, a ping came from Joker's screen, and a window popped up showing a krogan on the other side of the airlock. “You have a live video feed of that room?” asked Kaidan. 

“Yep, so keep that in mind if you ever bring a girl back. Make out with her there so I can watch, okay?” Joker said with that glint in his eye. 

“Uh, no. I'm not that kind of guy, anyway.” Kaidan said, smiling. 

“Oh, you swing the other way? That's fine, I'd watch that too.” he said, wickedly grinning. 

Kaidan's face turned red as he stammered, “N-No! No, that's not what I meant! I just don't hook up, okay?” 

“Uh huh, suuure. Whatever you say, Biotic-boy.” Joker answered, purposely getting under Kaidan's skin. Poking him was especially fun because he never poked back. 

Kaidan went to explain in further detail, but was saved that embarrassment by the door opening and permitting the large krogan to step through. 

“Humans,” said Wrex as a way of greeting. 

“Scar-face,” said Joker at the same time as Kaidan said, “Wrex.” 

Kaidan stood up, a little nervous, and said, “Here, let me show you where you can store your stuff.” Belatedly, he added, “Uh, welcome aboard.” 

Wrex just grunted and followed Kaidan past the CIC and down the stairs. While they were in the elevator, Kaidan asked, “So, how did it go? Did you find Fist?” 

“Yes. I killed him,” Wrex answered shortly. 

Kaidan fidgeted for a moment before continuing, “Did you find the quarian?” 

“Yeah,” grunted Wrex. 

“And?” Kaidan prodded. 

“And she had the information Shepard needed. They're taking it to the Council.” 

“Oh, okay then. That's good.” 

Wrex just looked at him through one baleful red eye. Kaidan avoided his gaze at all costs, nervously waiting for the elevator doors to open. Finally, they did. Kaidan stepped out first, followed by Wrex. 

“This is the cargo bay,” Kaidan said. “You can pick an empty locker over there,” he said, motioning to the row of white compartments. He could see Ashley across the way, slowly reassembling the SMG she was working on, her attention focused on Wrex. He walked over to stand beside her supportively. “This is Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, and I'm Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. We're part of the ground team, like you.” 

Wrex slowly made his way to the lockers, inspecting his surroundings, and focused for a moment on the Mako. He looked over at the two humans, and nodded. “Battlemaster Urdnot Wrex,” he said. He picked a random locker and stowed his assault rifle and shotgun inside. Then he leaned against some large crates nearby, looking for all the world like he was never going to move from that spot. 

Ashley and Kaidan looked at each other wonderingly, but didn't say anything. Then Kaidan cleared his throat and said, “The mess is up one deck, and the sleeping quarters and the bathrooms. I guess I'll leave you to it.” He nodded at Wrex, and gave Ashley one last worried look, before heading back up the incredibly slow elevator.

 

Kaidan was sitting at the mess table, wasting time on his omni-tool, sifting through barely-useful information on krogans and turians, when Shepard's voice came on over the intercom. 

“This is Commander Shepard speaking. We have our orders: find Saren before he finds the Conduit. He has been stripped of his Spectre status, and I have been awarded the same. I am now the Commanding Officer of this vessel. I won't lie to you, crew. This mission isn't going to be easy. This began with an attack on a human settlement in the Traverse, but we know Saren won't stop there. His geth armies aren't going to stay on the far fringes of Citadel space hunting for that device. No population is safe! But our enemy knows we're coming. Wherever they search for the Conduit, we'll be there, fighting him back and protecting the civilians. We will hunt Saren to the very ends of the galaxy and bring him down. 

“Humanity needs to do this. Not just for our own sake, but for the sake of every other species in Citadel Space. To that end, I have added three new members to our ground crew. Battlemaster Urdnot Wrex, a krogan, has already come aboard. C-Sec Detective Garrus Vakarian, a turian, and Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, a quarian on her Pilgrimage, have also joined our team. They, along with the knowledge and expertise they bring, are invaluable to this mission. Saren must be stopped, and I promise you all...we will stop him!” 

The intercom clicked off. Kaidan sat alone in stunned silence, his extranet investigation forgotten. Leave it to Shepard to strip Saren of his power, become the first human Spectre, commandeer the Normandy, and bring three different alien races aboard an entirely human ship all in the same day. He shook his head with a dazed smile on his face at her audacity. _That woman,_ he thought. _That incredible woman._

He was still sitting there, staring off into space with a stupid smile on his face, when Shepard and the two newest team members came down the stairs. She was making her way around the deck, showing Garrus and Tali where everything was, when he shook himself back to reality. He stood and saluted her saying, “Congratulations, Commander! First human Spectre! I'm honoured to serve underneath you.” He dropped his salute, and grinned at her, the most open expression he'd shown her in all their time together. 

To his surprise and deep gratification, she grinned back, just as openly. “Thanks, Kaidan. I hope to continue to live up to your high expectations. And I hope all the goodies I brought back with me do too. But we can talk about those later, when I'm done playing tour guide.” 

“Of course, Shepard. I'll be here.” 

“Kaidan, I'm sure you remember Vakarian, and this is Tali. She was the one who actually had evidence on Saren, and knows a great deal about the geth. I'm sure her understanding of them will be incredibly useful to us. She's pretty handy with a shotgun, too,” she said, motioning to the quiet young woman shrouded entirely in a purple and black enviro-suit. “And Vakarian's alright with a sniper,” she added belatedly, looking at the turian with a wicked grin. 

“If you recall, I beat you nine kills to eight, Shepard,” Garrus said, looking down at her with his un-visored right eye. 

“That's just the _current_ score, not the _final_ score,” she retorted. 

“Alright, currently I'm beating you, nine kills to eight.” 

“And this will be the last time you'll be able to say that, Vakarian,” Shepard said with mock severity. 

Kaidan watched their bantering with a sick feeling in his stomach. A few hours together, and Garrus was already closer to Shepard than Kaidan had managed in months. That was saying something, since their bunks were right next to each other. _I'm going to have to step up my game, if I even want to have a chance...Not that I have a chance. She's my superior, first of all, and second, she's Shepard! The ruler of a whole planet wouldn't be worthy of her. Not that I still won't try. Who knows what could happen after this mission is over? Maybe I'll be able to switch postings, and then..._ He let the thought trail off, not willing to consider such fantasies surrounded by the current company. 

Tali stepped in, cutting off the competition. “Excuse me, Shepard, but I'd really like to see the drive core. Do you think you could show me where that is?” 

Kaidan immediately liked the quarian. Her voice had an interesting accent to it, and he decided he liked that too. Maybe having aliens on the ship wouldn't be so bad, after all. As Shepard led the two back towards the elevator, Kaidan uncharacteristically called out, “It was nice to meet you, Tali! Hope to see you around!” and waved when they turned around to look at him. After they left, he groaned inwardly and kicked himself for acting so stupid. 

______________________ 

Riela was in her new cabin, still trying to get used to the changes that had turned her life delightfully upside-down. It had been three days since the fateful one at the Citadel, and the Normandy was slowly making its way through the Artemis Tau cluster, scanning the nineteen planets scattered throughout the four solar systems. It was easy work, but tedious. Luckily, with Tali aboard running the scanners, they had discovered multiple caches of valuable minerals, and even some salvage that could be sold or traded when they made it back to civilization. It was a very profitable excursion, but time-consuming. When a mineral store was found, Shepard and two members of her ground team would take the Mako down to gather the resources, or tag them for later extraction. Since these missions were not high priority or particularly dangerous, Shepard took the opportunity to test the skills of her team. 

Privately, she was focused on how well they all worked together. If there were any problem spots, she wanted to catch and fix them before they caused a major catastrophe during an important operation. So far, things looked like they were going fairly well. No major arguments or physical altercations had broken out, and all the misunderstandings had been minor and easily cleared up. But there was still a rigidness, an unsurety plaguing the group. They worked together, but they weren't a team. 

She got up from her desk chair and began pacing the length of her room, her chin resting on her left hand as its elbow rested on her right arm held across her torso. Kaidan and Ashley worked well together, which could be expected, and all the members worked well with Shepard, but that was the extent of the camaraderie. Kaidan was shy and reserved, and didn't talk much to anyone, although he was friendly enough. Ashley was still uncomfortable around the other races, especially Garrus, but she did appear to be putting forth effort to overcome that. Wrex just intimidated the hell out of everyone, even herself, but she must have been doing an excellent job of hiding it, because Wrex was much more congenial to her than to anyone else. Maybe it was just respect, though. He also suffered from an understandably deep-rooted hatred of turians. Shepard doubted Wrex and Garrus would ever be best friends, but maybe an in-between of this and that could be reached. Tali was another shy one, used to the hatred and derision from the whole galaxy beating down on her concealed shoulders. She was gradually coming to see that the Normandy crew didn't see her in the same light, especially the engineers and Joker, all of them having a deep love of the ship, but it was slow going. 

Garrus, now...Garrus was another whole solar system compared to the rest of them. Having worked on the Citadel for years alongside humans led to an obvious easiness between himself, Ashley, Kaidan, and Shepard...at least on his side. Riela wasn't exactly sure what was causing the stiffness between Kaidan and Garrus, but she hoped is would dissipate soon. He got along decently with Tali; they had advanced tech skills and a dextro-based lifestyle in common. And he didn't spend too much of his time saying abrasive things to Wrex, he mostly just avoided interaction with the krogan. Out of all the team, it seemed he was the only other one trying to make this a cohesive unit. 

It was probably because of his upbringing. The turian militaristic manner depended heavily on teamwork and trust. The whole was viewed as more important than any individual, and that rule permeated every aspect of their lives. Shepard likened them to a mix of Ancient Chinese and Ancient Roman people, but that was still only a rough estimation. It was ridiculous to assume that anything turian was a replica of something human. Just because there were a few basic similarities, it didn't mean that they actually had anything in common. 

Riela sighed. She had meant to spend her free time intensely researching those new species she had welcomed on board, in an effort to avoid confusion between everyone. Now that she was a Spectre, information that was classified before was delightfully available to her. But becoming CO had dumped much more responsibility in her lap than she had been anticipating, especially with non-humans aboard. She had instead spent all her extra time making sure their needs were met and that they were equally as comfortable as the humans. And now that that was taken care of, she had this new problem of lack of unity among her people. She knew it would probably fade in time on its own, but she couldn't wait for that to happen before chasing down Saren, and she couldn't risk a dangerous mission being executed by people who didn't trust each other. 

She glanced absently her omni-tool, and realized with a start that it was almost her dinnertime. An idea suddenly sprouting to life in her mind, she went over to her intercom to talk to Joker. “Joker, where are we in the Artemis Tau cluster?” 

“We've just finished scanning the last planet in the Macedon system, and now we're en route to the Sparta system.” 

“What's our ETA?” 

“We'll arrive at the first planet tomorrow around 1100, fourteen hours from now.” 

“Thanks, Joker. Shepard out.” 

She went over to her side table that kept her non-military personal effects, and retrieved a small plastic box. She slipped it into her pocket, a smile feathering her face, and sauntered out to the mess. It was time for some team-building exercises. 

She ate her dinner at a table with the rest of the ground team. Nearby, other members of her crew from the CIC and engineering, also including Dr. Chakwas, sat eating theirs. Meals were served in two shifts so stations stayed manned, and this was the second one. Tonight's supper was spaghetti with meat sauce for the humans, unknown strange-smelling provisions for Garrus and Tali, and something entirely made of once-breathing protein for Wrex. Everyone was relishing actually edible food, and Shepard allowed them to indulge for now. Eventually, all the delicious meals would be gone, and they'd be back to reconstituted, rehydrated MREs. As people finished eating, they left their trays in the sink or on the counter of the galley before heading back to work or to the crew quarters for sleep. 

Before any of the ground crew could get up, Shepard stood and cleared her throat. They all looked at her expectantly, Kaidan and Ashley craning their heads to look up from their seats next to her. “It's come to my attention that although we're in this together, we're not working together. This could be a very serious problem, and it needs immediate action. Whatever your duties were after dinner are now inconsequential to you. If you feel it's necessary, reassign them to someone else, on my orders. We are going to work on team-building exercises. Finish your meal at your leisure, and then sit back down.” 

Shepard had to try hard to keep a grin off her face at the expressions of those around her. The way she had purposely phrased it, team-building exercises sounded like it was going to be grueling. She carried her tray to the counter, and then sat back down impassively, folding her hands in front of her on the table, waiting. There was now a palpable tension in the air, as people looked furtively to one another, no one saying anything. They finished their meals in silence, and returned to the table after putting their dishes in the sink. Shepard continued to say nothing, and slowly reached under the table and into her pocket to pull out the plastic box she had put there earlier. 

“Okay, boys and girls, the game is Skyllian-Five.” She paused for a moment as faces visibly relaxed and even a few chuckles could be heard. She grinned widely, opening the box and started shuffling the cards. “Since this is just a team-building exercise, we'll bet with points...this time. Everyone starts with five hundred, and I'll keep track on my omni-tool, if you trust me to be fair. Any questions?” She looked around, but no one had anything to say. “Alright, let's get started,” she said, as she began to deal.

 

Hours into the game, the mood in the mess was drastically different. They had to keep reminding each other to be quiet because other people were trying to sleep in the quarters nearby. Jokes and jibes were flying around the table faster than the cards that Ashley dealt, and Wrex, even though he was all out of points, remained seated, one of the team, still making wisecracks about Shepard's bluffs. 

Kaidan was the next to go out; he played too conservatively. He remained seated next to Shepard, enjoying the energy of the table, and enjoying the proximity of her. Shepard kept catching him looking at her, and she'd try to meet his eyes and smile, but he'd quickly avert his eyes before she could. It was frustrating. Why was he avoiding her after choosing to sit next to her? As Tali was placing her bet across the way, Shepard casually uncrossed her legs, seeming for all the world to accidentally bump into Kaidan's under the table. The unexpected contact made him look up suddenly, and he was caught in her friendly trap. She finally got to smile at him. 

“Hey,” she said. 

“Uh, hey,” he answered shyly. 

“How's it going over there?” 

“Fine, I guess. How's it going with you?” 

Shepard, in the lead with points, upped the bet dramatically, and ignoring the indignant shouts from around the table, she turned back to Kaidan. “Pretty well, I'd say.” She grinned, but didn't say anything more to see if Kaidan would take control of the conversation. He didn't, so before the silence became awkward, she asked, “How are you enjoying my brand of team-building exercises? Are they too audacious? Should I just go back to the Alliance standards of dumping us all in an unexplored jungle on a backwater planet and seeing how it goes?” 

“No, no I think this is a nice change. And it may work even better than their way. Fewer wounds, at least.” They both took a moment to look around the table as everyone but Tali and Shepard folded. Ashley was pretending to pout, but as Garrus ribbed her, she looked indignant, then laughed. Everyone else joined in, the cards forgotten for a moment. Shepard met Kaidan's eyes again and smiled warmly, which he returned. She turned her attention back to Tali, determining if the quarian was bluffing or not. The smoky purple mask that hid all but her glowing eyes made reading her expressions nearly impossible, but Shepard was getting better at it, she thought. She decided her competitor was bluffing, and raised the stakes. Tali met her gaze, then matched and raised. Shepard matched and raised with no hesitation. The simulated pot was getting quite large, and the spectators quieted down to watch. Tali remained inexorable and matched Shepard's final bid. They both showed their hands at the same time, and a roar went up as Tali virtually raked it all in. 

“You were bluffing the whole time? You _must_ have a quad!” blurted Kaidan. 

Shepard laughed at his brashness, and her eyes sparkled as she looked down at her completely useless hand. “Yep! I figured, 'Why the hell not, they're just points anyway'. I thought Tali was bluffing too, though,” she admitted. 

“Keelah, Shepard. That was so risky!” Tali looked at her with wide luminous eyes. 

“Yeah, but the stakes weren't high. Just points, not lives or anything. I play by different rules for different games, don't worry.” 

“I'm not, I just can't believe you pulled that off! I had no idea you were bluffing, I just thought we both had really good hands.” 

“Hey, go hard or go home, right?” interjected Ashley. 

“Right,” said Shepard grinning her way. She looked down at her omni-tool. “The standings are now Tali in the lead with 1250, Garrus with 700, me with 550, and Ashley bringing up the rear with 500. It's also the early hours of a new day, Galactic Standard Time, and I'm going to get out while I'm ahead,” she said while she stood up. “I'm taking what's left of my points and dignity with me. Someone take over keeping score. You three have at it and let me know who comes out on top, alright?” she directed towards the table. 

“Running away, Shepard? Afraid I'll beat you at this too?” taunted Garrus with his smooth, rumbling voice. 

“Think what you want, Vakarian, but Tali's the one who beat me, and who's currently beating you. Let's see if you can barely eke by her like you did me back on the Citadel,” she teased back as she slid the deck across to him. “Your deal. Goodnight, everyone. I'll see you tomorrow. We should hit the next planet at 1100. Maybe we'll find what we're looking for there.” 

Her crew, sitting around the table, relaxed in each other's company, bid her a good night. Shepard's heart swelled with pride looking at them, and then she headed up to the CIC for one last check before bed. It was quiet up there, with only the skeleton crew working. She looked over their route on the galaxy map, and studied where else they had left to look for Dr. T'Soni. All anyone knew was that she was somewhere in this cluster, one lone asari among four solar systems. _It's like that old Earth phrase...what was it? Oh yes, a needle in a haystack,_ she thought to herself. Everything was exactly as it should be, so she headed back down the stairs, lost in thought. She quite literally ran into Kaidan at the bottom. 

“Oh! I'm sorry!” she said, catching him by the shoulders before he fell into the wall. “I wasn't paying any attention. Are you alright?” 

Kaidan locked eyes with her, and it took a moment before he came to himself and answered, “Yes, I'm fine.” 

Shepard could feel the hard muscles of his upper arms under her hands, her fingers not even wrapping halfway around them. He always seemed so shy to her, she kept forgetting that he was a battle-hardened marine. She knew it, she'd seen him in action plenty of times, but the Kaidan on the battlefield and the Kaidan on the ship seemed like two completely different people to her. She let go of him, her hands sliding off in wonder. Silence seemed to wrap around them, the raucous laughter around the corner unheard, the crew members forgotten. For just a moment, time stood still. 

Then Shepard's brain began working again, and she noticed his toiletries scattered on the floor. “Here, let me help you,” she said quickly, trying to act as if they hadn't just been staring into each other's eyes for seconds uncounted. She started picking things up off the floor haphazardly, fumbling with some of the bottles trying to put them back into his caddy. He was gathering up his toothpaste, toothbrush and hairbrush that had all bounced the other direction, and she accidentally caught a very good look at him bending over in front of her while she knelt on the floor. His uniform pants being pulled tight by his position left very little to the imagination. Stunned yet again by his musculature, she stopped picking things up. When he stood to turn around, she hurriedly looked around for something that would make her look busy and saw his towel still in a mostly neat bundle nearby. She grabbed it and yanked it toward her, spilling out its contents of Kaidan's pajamas. _Could this get any more embarrassing?_ she thought, too chagrined to look and see what Kaidan was doing. She tossed the towel onto the caddy, and crawled over to the clothing to pick it up. Shirt, pants, underwear. _Yep, more embarrassing._ She wadded them together in her hands, trying not to focus too much on what she was holding, and stood up. She shoved them into his arms, and tried to smile as calmly as if picking up handsome subordinates' underwear off the floor was a completely normal, everyday occurrence. 

“Here you go, sorry about that,” she said, trying to maintain an air of poise, but just coming across as flustered. 

Kaidan, already blushing, said, “Thanks.” 

Not wanting to make things more awkward later by bolting to the elevator without a backward glance now, she tried instead to diffuse the situation with conversation. “So, you decided to not hang around and watch the rest of the game?” 

“Yeah, it seemed like a good idea to go to bed with you.” Realizing how what he said could be construed, he tried to clarify. “Not with you! Like you! To do the same as you!” Shepard watched with some amusement as his face turned even redder. At least she wasn't the only one reacting to the situation poorly. 

“Calm down Kaidan, I understand. How about we both say goodnight, and leave it at that before anything else happens, alright?” She wanted to tease him about his red face, but thought better of it. 

“Yeah, okay. Goodnight, Shepard,” he said awkwardly. 

She smiled at him, that twinkle back in her eyes. “Goodnight, Kaidan. Sleep well.” She turned and walked over to the elevator, focusing on keeping her steps slow and steady, not running like she wanted to do. Thankfully, the door slid open immediately, and she was able to escape Kaidan's burning eyes on her back. She gave him one last smile and wave before stepping into the little space. 

After the door closed, she exhaled a large pent up breath. She scrubbed her forehead with the back of her hand and tried to slow her heart rate. When the elevator reached the bottom, she exited and headed for engineering. She always slept better if she personally checked on the vital areas of the Normandy before going to bed. She glanced over the holo-screens, and seeing nothing out of the ordinary, turned to the solitary engineer. The man overseeing the operations said everything was running at optimal levels, and nothing untoward had happened the whole time he'd been there. Nodding her thanks, she bid him a goodnight, and headed out to go back upstairs. 

When she walked back into the cargo bay, she saw Wrex and Tali stepping out of the elevator. “Game's over? Who won?” she asked. Tali spun around quickly, surprised, but Wrex just turned his head to look at her, then continued on his way over to the lockers. 

“Keelah Shepard, you startled me! You really need to stop doing that,” said Tali with a hand to her chest. “I won. Ashley went out right after you, and then Garrus and I went head to head. We were bidding carelessly at that point, and the last hand we both just went all in. It was getting late anyway, and we wanted to go to bed. Tomorrow could be a very busy day.” 

“I'm hoping you're right. I'm starting to get restless. Who knows what Saren could be up to while we're collecting rocks. Valuable rocks, but still... Well, I'll let you two get to bed then. That's where I'm finally headed, now that I've done my final walkthrough. Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight, Shepard,” Tali said, headed down to the starboard hallway that led to engineering. Since there were two passageways, and since Tali preferred to hear the engine running at all times, they had put a cot for her in the second one. People could still use it if they needed to, but everyone knew that was Tali's room now, and just stuck to the port-side walkway. 

Wrex, too large for any cot or bed they could find, had some mats that stacked on top of each other for his bed near the lockers. He rolled them up and stored them during the day, but it only took a few minutes to ready his bed at night. As massive as he was, the cargo bay floor gave him plenty of room to sprawl out. He hadn't even wanted to use the mats in the beginning, krogan pride being what it was, but since they were already there, Shepard had convinced him to. He had just finished rolling them out when he turned to her and said, “Shepard,” like he always did. 

“Wrex,” she answered in kind, and then strode into the elevator and activated the panel for deck two. _Kaidan should be well into his shower by now, and I won't have to worry about running into him again until tomorrow,_ she thought to herself as the elevator rose, breathing a sigh of relief. Then she had to try to not think about him in the shower. “Gah!” she said out loud, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. 

The door slid open and Shepard took a moment to listen. Both the women's and the men's showers were running, but there was only silence other than that. She quietly stepped out, and headed around to her cabin. As she turned the corner, she could see Garrus nonchalantly leaning against the wall next to her door, his arms crossed over his torso, one cloven foot propped up behind him. Her heart caught in her chest, and her breathing hitched, but through sheer force of will she maintained her pace. 

Three days on the ship together, and nothing had changed. If anything, it had gotten worse. She kept trying to convince herself that the attraction would go away, that the fascination with him would fade, but it appeared that wasn't working. The most frustrating thing about it all was how it came about inadvertently. _Physical attraction to a complete stranger? Who does that? Me, apparently. I couldn't get to know him first and **then** be attracted to him, no no,_ she thought sarcastically. And the trouble was, the more time she did spend with him, the more she did get to know him, the more she liked him for who he was. She slowed her steps as she neared, stopping in front of him, and mimicked his pose, leaning back with arms crossed, cocking one eyebrow. 

“Shepard,” he said, his voice low in the stillness. “I wanted to make sure these were returned to you.” He stood up and unfolded his arms, holding out her pack of cards. She reached out and took them, the moment of their hands almost touching seemed to last eons in her mind. 

“Thanks,” she said quietly. 

“That was good thinking, getting us all together to do something casual. I think the tension is finally broken,” his voice vibrated in her chest, the subharmonics caressing her ear. 

“Yeah, I don't expect one game to change everything overnight, but I was hoping that some walls would come down. I'm glad it worked,” she answered, looking down at her hands fiddling with the plastic box there, and shifting her weight from foot to foot. 

“I hope we do it again sometime.” 

“I'm sure we will. It was a lot of fun, and I found it relaxing.” She braced herself, and then met his eyes with hers, smiling up at him. 

“Shepard, I just wanted to tell you how thankful I am for you allowing me to come aboard. Back at C-Sec I was caught by all the red tape, unable to do anything useful. But now that I'm working with a Spectre, I'm finally free to do things my way.” 

She raised an eyebrow at him, her smile fading. “As long as your way is the right way and not the fast way. We don't endanger civilians, remember?” He looked away in embarrassment, remembering Dr. Michel's office, his mandibles clicking in agitation. Shepard continued, saying, “The laws are there for a reason, and even though sometimes they do get in the way of good people trying to do the right thing, I'm not just going to go around breaking them because I can. I hope I can count on you to follow my orders, even if you don't agree with them.” 

He looked back up at her, his mandibles slack in shock. “Of course! I never meant to imply-- I may not be a very good turian, but I will follow your orders, Shepard.” 

“Good. But if you do ever disagree with them, I give you leave to come and discuss them with me in private. I want to know the opinions of those beneath my command. There's an ancient quote from back on Earth that says, 'Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.' I don't want to become that kind of person. There has to be someone in the lead, but this is still a team, and we all need to depend on each other, including me depending on all of you.” 

Garrus just looked at her for a moment, an undefinable expression on his face as his subharmonics purred quietly. “Shepard, the more I get to know you, the more you astound me. I've never met a human quite like you before.” 

“I think I'll take that as a compliment,” she said, the smile returning to her face, a warmth like sunlight rising in her chest. 

“It was meant as one. Sleep well, Shepard.” 

“Sleep well,” she replied quietly, watching him walk away. 

Riela turned and swiped her hand across the access panel of her cabin door. It turned from red to green at her touch, and the door slid open. She stepped inside, her mind light-years away. She sat her cards down on her desk as she passed, and dropped down onto the edge of her bed. She flopped over backwards, her hands folded over her stomach, and her mind racing through all the events of the last five hours. 

Her plan had achieved its goal; in all honesty it had went much better than expected. And then her 'rendezvous' with Kaidan. She put one hand over her eyes and groaned. During the game she had just been trying to get him to open up to her. He'd seemed to be more shy than usual around her lately, and it bothered her. They normally had a friendly work relationship, but it just never seemed to grow past a warm acquaintance. In an instant of well-formed muscles and close proximity it had moved far, far past that on Shepard's side of the encounter. Now she was intrigued. What was he really like? Did he like being in the military, or was he just doing it out of some sort of obligation? What did he do for fun? Poker obviously wasn't it. She didn't see him being the type to frequent clubs. What kind of girls did he date? Did he even date girls? Riela thought he did. He did seem to suffer from severe foot-in-mouth disease around her and Ashley. She chuckled to herself thinking about the 'go to bed with you' incident. Kaidan was just a really sweet guy with an awkward streak and a thick shell. 

Shells weren't such a bad thing, even Riela had one. Garrus had one. His was visible, though. Thinking of him set the fire burning through her veins with a vengeance, making her squirm onto her side, her head pillowed on one arm. Even in her own mind he overwhelmed her, dragging her focus back to him. Well, why fight it now? She was alone in her cabin, in the middle of the night. Who was going to see what she was thinking about and tell her it was inappropriate and scandalous? 

_I know relations between humans and turians have come a long way in twenty-six years, but this – if it ever became anything – might be too much for people to handle._ She snorted to herself. _If it ever became anything? Who am I kidding? He's an effing turian. He's not interested in humans. Why would he be? I'm like the complete physical opposite of their kind. What do we have? Blunt teeth, blunt fingers, smooth skin...squishy. Not attractive to them at all. They're like war incarnate. Razor blade teeth, dagger talons, built-in protection._ She smiled to herself, trying to imagine what he looked like under his armor. What _did_ turians look like? Were they plated all over? How did they...have relations? 

She rubbed her face with her hands, and flung herself up off the bed. Years with nothing, or nearly nothing, and now she was attracted to not one, but two men under her command. How old was she, seventeen? Last she checked, she was twenty-nine. _I should probably start acting like it instead of spending all my free time ogling boys. I have a mass murderer to stop and a galaxy to fucking save. Okay. Shower, bed, work. No more men, especially subordinates._

That night as she lie in bed tossing and turning, trying to get her mind off two engrossing inamoratos so she could sleep, two very different men in separate rooms struggled to find sleep themselves for a very similar reason.


	6. Edolus

Shepard opened her bleary eyes when the alarm on her omni-tool made it quite clear it was time to be about her duties. After the late night of poker, and then the refusal of her mind to let things go, she'd only gotten three hours of sleep; 0600 came much too early. She rubbed her face roughly in an attempt to make her brain start working, yawned, then stretched. She sluggishly donned a clean uniform, made herself look presentable in her tiny bathroom, and headed out to the mess for some much needed coffee, grabbing a datapad off her desk as she passed.

She was the first to arrive, just as she liked it, and fixed herself some of the special real coffee with sugar and cream. Exceptional occasions called for exceptional coffee, and today was one of those days. She sat down at one of the tables and began to look over her datapad while sipping the hot liquid. Other crew members began to filter in quietly getting coffee or tea and sitting down, murmuring to each other in small groups. The serviceman in charge of breakfast began clattering around in the galley, preparing to make eggs, bacon, and toast, more of those wonderful rare components that were sure to run out before anyone was ready to give them up. 

Mornings were usually a quiet affair until people began to actually wake up. Just as the volume began to rise to normal alertness level, Shepard saw Kaidan walk around the corner, looking just as tired as she felt. He saw her looking at him, and stopped walking for a moment. Shepard could tell he was deciding whether to turn back around or come over and talk. She tried to smile reassuringly, and he seemed to relax. He gave a tiny smile back, and went to get some breakfast. She watched him surreptitiously, intent on waving him over when he went to sit down, in case he wasn't planning on sitting next to her himself. The last thing she wanted was more awkwardness between them, and realizing she knew almost nothing about him, she was determined learn something and become his friend in the process. 

When Kaidan turned back around with his laden tray, he hesitantly walked towards Shepard, and with her insistent wave, proceeded with more certainty and sat down across from her. 

“Good morning,” she said, taking a sip of her coffee. 

“Good morning,” he replied in his warm voice that was husky with sleep. 

“Did you sleep well?” 

“Uh, yes,” answered Kaidan. Shepard raised an eyebrow at his pause, her eyes burning into his. Under her scrutiny, his face blossomed into redness. “Well, once I fell asleep I did,” he amended, looking down at his scrambled eggs. 

“I had a little trouble falling asleep myself. Last night was quite eventful, don't you think? First, the exciting poker game, and then our little mishap. But people bump into each other all the time, right? So why should we worry about it?” she asked with a shrug. 

Kaidan looked up, curious to see if Shepard was serious, or was just trying to mollify him. She seemed genuine in her opinion of the situation, so he released all his pent up stress and actually smiled at her. “You're right. We shouldn't let a little accident bother us so much.” 

“Good, I'm glad you feel that way. It will be so much easier to be your friend if we don't have to be awkward around each other all the time,” Shepard said smiling, relaxing back into her chair, taking her mug with her. 

“I'd like that, Shepard.” 

“So would I.” She waited to see if Kaidan was going to say anything more, but he looked at a loss for words. She decided to help him out. “So, poker's not your strong suit.” 

“No, not really. Betting and risks make me nervous, if they're not under the right circumstances. In the field I do fine putting myself out there in danger, but places where I should be more relaxed usually just make me more tense.” 

“I have noticed that you're more reserved and controlled than most biotics I've met. More than most people across the board, actually.” 

“Yeah,” Kaidan answered, not wanting to elaborate. 

Shepard could tell by his body language that whatever caused this was uncomfortable to him, and moved the conversation smoothly past it without a noticeable pause. “So, what do you do for fun, then? Dance the night away?” 

Kaidan relaxed at her non-questions about his past, and smirked at her suggestion of his pastimes. “No, I mostly just keep to myself and read. I've always read for fun. When I was little, I read books about heroes who went to space to prove themselves worthy of women they loved, or uh, you know, justice,” he ducked his head, a little embarrassed. 

“Well well, you're a romantic,” she said with a twinkle in her eyes. “Did you sign on for the dream, Kaidan? Did you want to secure man's future in space, maybe find a nice girl somewhere out here and settle down on a colony?” 

“Yeah, maybe I was a romantic in the beginning, but I thought about it after Brain Camp, oh sorry, Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training. I'm not looking for the dream anymore, I just want to do some good. See what's out here.” 

“What was BAaT like, if you don't mind talking about it?” Shepard asked with sincere curiosity. She'd never met a biotic who had attended; all the ones she knew had been part of the Ascension Project after Jump Zero had been shut down. 

“No, it's fine. First, we didn't call it Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training, or BAaT. To the kids they hauled in, it was Brain Camp. Sorry, 'hauled in' is unkind. We were _encouraged_ to 'commit to an evaluation of our abilities so an understanding of biotics could be compiled'. There are worse results of accidental exposure to element zero in the womb. Going to Brain Camp beat the brain tumors some kids grew up with,” Kaidan answered, talking carefully around mouthfuls of food. 

“Do you know how you were exposed?” Shepard asked, sitting forward with interest. 

“My mother was downwind of a transport crash. It was before there were human biotics, a little after the discovery of the Martian ruins. Exposure stories only get iffy around '63 when Conatix was running out of first gen subjects. Until then, they'd relied on 'accidentals'. A bunch a guys in suits show up at your door after school, and the next thing you know, you're out at Jump Zero.” 

Shepard frowned a little, trying to follow Kaidan's disorganized explanation. “Do you know of anyone who was exposed intentionally?” 

“No. No one knows. It doesn't mean it didn't happen. As big as the exposures were, it was hard to track down accidentals. It was different then, no one knew the potential, so there wasn't a lot of regulation. Anything Conatix did was gold. I'm not saying they intentionally detonated drives over our outposts, but in retrospect, they were damn quick on the scene.” 

Kaidan seemed to be growing agitated talking about the eezo crises, so Shepard asked about something else. “All those kids stuck out there on a space station with no outside contact allowed, you must have made friends.” 

“There was a circle of us that would get together before lights out. Not much to do, boring, no extranet,” Kaidan answered, shrugging. 

Shepard raised an eyebrow, a smile twitching the corners of her mouth. “A big group of teenagers trapped in space, I'm sure you found...other ways to occupy your time. I know you didn't play poker to wile away the hours.” 

He smiled at the jibe and shook his head in answer. “I'm not the sort who does that kind of thing, poker or otherwise. Not lightly, anyway. There was a girl I spent a lot of time with.” At Shepard's expression, he clarified further. “We kept our clothes on. Her name was Rahna. She was from Turkey, and her family was very rich. But she was smart, and charming as hell. Beautiful, but not stuck up about it. Like you.” Kaidan blanched at his accidental revelation, and then blushed. He looked down and finished his breakfast. 

Shepard laughed gently, but otherwise ignored his slip. “It sounds like Rahna was special to you,” she said. 

“She was,” he admitted. “Maybe she felt the same, I don't know. Things never fell together. Training took up all our focus. It looked a lot better on the vids.” Kaidan sat back and rubbed his eyes with the fingers and thumb of one hand. “Sorry, Shepard. I didn't mean to go on about things that happened years ago like that.” 

He was secretly worried that she would think that Rahna still meant something to him, that he wasn't mentally available for a new relationship, which he was. Rahna had been half his lifetime ago, and since then there had only been one other until now. If he was being honest with himself, he was more than ready to find someone new. 

“Don't blame yourself, Kaidan. I was the one who was asking all the questions. I just wanted to get to know you better. Thanks for talking to me,” she said with a warm smile. 

“Uh, you're welcome. So, uh, do you make a habit of getting to know everyone this personally?” 

“I do, but that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy your company. I wasn't talking to you out of a sense of duty or obligation, Kaidan. I hope I get another chance to do this again, soon.” She reached across the table and laid her hand over his, giving it a little squeeze before pulling it back. 

Kaidan's face tinged pink at the implications. “I'll uh, I'll need some time to process that, Shepard. But, yeah, I'd like that.” 

“I'll see you around,” Shepard said with a smile, getting up from the table. She handed her empty mug to the serviceman in the galley, then headed up the stairs to the CIC, a spring in her step. 

After checking both with Joker and the galaxy map and seeing that the Normandy was still on schedule to reach the planet Alsages at 1100, four hours away, she headed down to engineering to talk to Tali. She hadn't really had the opportunity to just talk about tech and engines and stealth systems with her for hours like she had wanted. She was honestly excited to have another technophile aboard, especially one from a completely different culture. The insights they could share; the brainstorming sessions they could have! She shifted impatiently in the elevator, anxious to have a spirited and knowledgeable conversation about the Normandy. 

When she walked into engineering, she looked around, but didn't see Tali anywhere. She walked over to Engineer Adams, preparing to ask him if he'd seen her. 

“Good morning, Engineer Adams. Have you seen Tali around? I wanted to ask her some questions.” 

“Sorry, Shepard, can't say that I have. Usually she hovers, watching, asking questions, making suggestions,” he said. 

“She's not bothering anybody or getting in the way, is she?” It seemed to Shepard that Tali got along great with the engineering crew, but she wanted to double-check with the head of the department. 

“What? No! She's amazing! I wish my guys were half as smart as she is. Give her a month on board and she'll know more about our engines than I do! She's got a real knack for technology, that one. I can see why you wanted her to come along. You've got an eye for talent, Shepard.” 

“Well that's good. I didn't think she was, but I wanted to make sure everyone was getting along. I know sometimes bringing in outside help can make people feel offended, like they don't matter or they're not good enough. I don't want that to happen; we were all hand-picked because we're all the best at what we do.” 

“I'll just pass that along to the guys, if you don't mind. A little morale boost never hurt anyone,” Adams said with a smile. 

“Not at all, Adams. That's why I said it.” 

Just then, the starboard doorway whooshed open and Tali stepped through, coming out of her little 'room'. She saw Shepard and hurried over. “Shepard, is there something you needed?” she asked, rubbing her hands over each other nervously. 

“Just your company, Tali. We haven't really had a chance to talk yet, and I've been really looking forward to us picking each other's brains,” she said with a smile. 

“I assume that is a euphemism for conjoined thought processes.” 

Shepard laughed. “Yes, conjoined thought processes, exactly. We both grew up on ships, immersed in their workings. I thought we could have a friendly discussion about the Normandy, maybe see if we could come up with ways to improve her. A daunting task, but still worth the effort, right?” she asked, then continued, “I take it you haven't had breakfast yet.” She thought for a moment, a little surprised at herself. “Actually, neither have I. Let's go talk and eat at the same time. Is that alright?” 

“That sounds great, Shepard.” 

“Good, I'm starving.”

Shepard and Tali's discussion began with the Normandy's drive core, but progressed to her stealth systems, and then meandered into other areas like the ventilation shafts and the types of wiring used. They ate without tasting their food, oblivious to their surroundings, focused only on having someone to talk about such things with. Most people didn't even know about this stuff, and the ones who did almost never got excited over it. It was nice to have someone around that shared a common interest. 

After the topic of the Normandy's inner workings was exhausted, they moved on to more personal subjects, such as their childhoods, which happened to be quite similar. It was all very interesting, but Shepard was consumed with curiosity about the quarian culture. “The quarians are an entirely space-faring society. How exactly does that work? I mean, our upbringings are comparable, but not having a planet to return to, or laws and regulations based on the way things work planet-side, it must have deep ramifications.” 

“It does. There are seventeen million quarians in the flotilla, and each of us relies on the others for survival. The bonds among my people are strong. Unfortunately, we have had to surrender many of the freedoms and civil liberties other species take for granted.” 

“Like what?” asked Shepard. 

“Well, it's illegal for parents to have more than one child. If our population grows too much, it would strain our resources to their breaking point. Of course, we also can't allow our numbers to grow too few. If our population is in decline, the rule against single births is temporarily repealed. In extreme cases of population decline, incentives are even offered to encourage multiple births. Though the Conclave hasn't had to take such measures in nearly a century,” Tali answered. 

“And the Conclave is your government? How does it work?” 

“The Conclave is our civilian branch of government,” she explained. “Each ship can elect a representative to serve on the Conclave and make decisions that affect the fleet as a whole. On matters that affect an individual ship, however, the captain has the final say. It's a tradition that dates back to the early days when the fleet was governed by martial law. Fortunately, most captains nowadays are smart enough to have an elected council from their crew to give them advice and guidance.” 

Shepard nodded her understanding. “If that's your civilian branch, what other branches do you have?” 

“In practice, the Conclave and the respective council for each ship tend to set the rules that govern our daily lives. But in theory we are still under military jurisdiction. The five top-ranking military officials in the fleet serve on the Admiralty Board. These five have the power to overrule any decision made by the Conclave in case of emergency. To do so requires unanimous agreement among the Admiralty and they can only do this once. After that, the entire Board must resign their posts. It's a safeguard that's served us well. In nearly three centuries, the Admiralty Board has only overruled the Conclave four times.” 

“So this way, they can control the entire fleet when it's absolutely necessary, but it would be pointless to do so as a means of gain, because as soon as they did, they'd lose their position of power. That's a fantastic failsafe to keep people from being corrupted by their authority.” 

“Yes, it works surprisingly well in that aspect. There are still ways for them to use their influence for personal gain, though.” 

“People will always find a way to use what they have to get what they want,” Shepard agreed. “So, what about this Pilgrimage you're on? You explained some of it before, but how does it affect ship life?” 

“When my people reach maturity, we leave our birth ships and seek acceptance with a new crew. It's necessary to maintain genetic diversity among the fleet. But no ship wants to accept someone who will be a burden on them. So, to prove our worth, we embark on a Pilgrimage. We set out alone, leaving the flotilla and our families behind us. We only return once we have found something of value we can bring back to the fleet. This is presented as a gift to the captain of the respective ship we wish to join. If the gift is accepted, we are welcomed into the crew.” 

“If the gift is accepted? Does that mean sometimes it's not?” Shepard asked. 

“Not often. Most captains are eager to increase the size of their crew. It increases their own standing in our society. Even when a gift is not particularly valuable, a captain usually accepts it out of a sense of tradition. However, there is a stigma to presenting a sub-standard gift. It's not the best way to make a good impression on a new community. Most Pilgrims don't return until they find something worthwhile.” 

“So the gift you bring is not kept secret. Interesting. They must prepare you for the world outside the flotilla, though. Is that what the enviro-suits are for?” 

“Not really. They give us implants to fight off sickness and disease, but we wear these suits even in the flotilla. Quarian immune systems have always been relatively weak, as pathogenic microbes were comparatively rare in our homeworld's biosphere. The few viruses and other microbes that were native to Rannoch were often at least partly beneficial to us, causing a symbiotic relationship between us and the planet. After living aboard the Migrant Fleet for generations, our immune systems have atrophied further still due to the years in the sterile environment. Any little opening in our suits, a tear or a hole, can lead to serious infection. If that occurs, they can be compartmentalized to prevent, or at least slow, the spread of contaminants. It's similar to a ship sealing off bulkheads in the event of a hull breach.” 

“That's very elaborate. But then, how do you...nevermind,” Shepard said, realizing she was overstepping her bounds as CO, and knowing they weren't close enough friends yet for that kind of question. 

Tali chuckled. “That is also very elaborate.” 

Just then, Joker's voice came on over the intercom. “Shepard, we're only about ten minutes out from Alsages. Thought you'd want to know.” 

“What? Is it that late already? Where did the time go? Thanks, Joker. I'll be up in a minute.” She grinned at Tali, rising from the table and stretching her stiff muscles from sitting in one spot so long. “I guess it's time for both of us to get busy. Maybe I'll come down later and you can show me what exactly it is that you're doing that's finding us all these caches we'd normally miss. You know, if we don't find Dr. T'soni here.” 

“Anytime, Shepard,” Tali answered, and then took the elevator down while Shepard took the stairs up two at a time.

 

They didn't find the illusive doctor there, only plutonium. The rest of the day and night passed uneventfully, scanning an asteroid belt, Ontamalca, and Altaaya. The next morning after breakfast, Shepard was in the cockpit looking over Joker's shoulder as they came up onto Edolus. A small alarm sounded, drawing Joker's attention, and his fingers started flipping through so many holo-screens so quickly that Shepard couldn't follow. 

“What is it?” she asked. 

“A distress signal coming from a beacon planet-side. Looks like your quiet days of poker and lazing around are over, Shepard.” 

“Any details available?” Gone was her amiable demeanor, her serious commander persona in its place. 

“No, it's just a general Alliance distress,” Joker answered, still scrolling through screens. Shepard was thankful that he, like her, could turn his business attitude on when it was needed. 

“How long until we can get a ground team deployed?” 

“Twenty minutes.” 

“Williams! Tali!” Shepard snapped over the intercom. “Suit up and report to the Mako in fifteen minutes. I'll explain on the way down.”

 

Strapped into the Mako, waiting for the cargo bay door to open and expel them into the atmosphere of Edolus, Shepard detailed her team. “Alright, ladies. I hope you slept well and ate a big breakfast, we have an Alliance distress signal to investigate. Going through my omni-tool for helpful information, a personal notification popped up to remind me that this is probably Rear Admiral Kahoku's lost recon team. All he told me was that they were somewhere in Artemis Tau, and this is the first we've seen of anything remotely Alliance. Joker and I have no idea what caused the emergency, and we have no idea what we're getting ourselves into, so be prepared for anything. Tali, I want you to man the machine gun. Williams, you get the cannon. It needs time to cool down between shots, so make them count. I'll drive and control the mass effect thrusters. Any questions?” 

“If we exit the Mako, are there any environmental hazards we need to be aware of?” asked Williams. 

“No. It's a dry, dusty, desert planet with a just below-freezing average temperature and a breathable atmosphere. Its gravity is a little less that one G. Well, I guess there are meteor impacts more frequently here than other planets, but we shouldn't be here long enough for that to matter. Any other questions?” 

“What will we do with the soldiers once we find them?” asked Tali. 

“I guess that just depends on what the problem is. If necessary, we will transport them up to the Normandy and carry them back to the Citadel after we find Dr. T'soni in this Cluster. This Mako can hold at least five more people, but I don't know how many were in the missing team.” 

“Understood, Shepard,” answered Tali in a subdued tone. 

Shepard turned back to the control board and activated the external cameras. The HUD showed the cargo bay door still closed. “How much longer, Joker?” she asked through her helmet's radio. 

“Thirty seconds, Shepard. Good luck down there,” he answered. 

“Acknowledged. Shepard out.” 

She gripped the handles of the steering mechanism firmly, and exhaled a large breath. The cargo bay door slowly dropped open, making a ramp into the open air. “Here we go,” she said to no one in particular, and drove forward into the sky. The drop was textbook, her maneuvers adequate, aiming for the small dot pinging on her screen. The Mako landed farther away than Shepard would have liked, but this would give them a chance to sneak up on the situation, as much as a giant six-wheeled ground vehicle could be stealthy. She propelled it forward, driving in a straight line to her target, ignoring any outcroppings or boulders in her way. 

It made for a bumpy ride, and Tali was thankful for her harness. “Uh, Shepard, don't you think it would be better to drive around the rocks instead of over them?” she asked as the vehicle rocked violently side to side. 

“This thing was made to deal with difficult terrain. I'm just making sure I get all the use I can out of it,” she replied. Tali wasn't sure, but it sounded like Shepard was grinning behind her helmet. She looked over at Ashley, who just shrugged. Familiar with this human body language, Tali repeated it, and then returned her focus to her own HUD, preparing to shoot if necessary. 

As the Mako made its way over a rocky hill, they could see something in the distance, sitting in the middle of a wide, flat basin. As they drove closer, they could see it was a ground vehicle similar to theirs, but no tents or structures had been erected anywhere nearby. Just as they noticed that the things they had taken for rocks or sacks of supplies were in fact unmoving bodies scattered around, the ground began to shake and an enormous worm-like creature erupted from the ground directly in front of them. It let an ear-piercing shriek burst out of its gaping mouth that was surrounded by long thin mandibles, and then turned towards them. 

“Oh shit! A thresher maw!” shouted Shepard as she launched the Mako forward, narrowly avoiding a giant acid ball the creature had spat at them. “Williams, shoot that cannon at it as often as you can! Tali, while the cannon is cooling down between shots, give it all you've got with the machine gun! I'll drive close enough that it stays in the same spot, and try to avoid the acid. It's going to be rough, just focus on your job and nothing else! We can do this!” 

Williams and Tali yelled in the affirmative as Shepard drove directly towards the thresher maw, keeping its attention, while her team members kept up a continual assault on the monster. When she felt she was close enough to the behemoth, but far enough away from the recon team's remains to leave them undisturbed, she turned the Mako so that its side was facing the thresher maw. As the land leviathan spewed acid at them, she was able to drive either forwards or backwards to avoid the deadly saliva, but still allow Williams and Tali nearly constant direct aim. 

The maw eventually tired of their onslaught and retreated back underground. A few moments later, it reappeared farther away and to the right. As Shepard shot the Mako towards it as fast as she could, she didn't have time to swerve and avoid an acid ball. The vehicle took a direct hit, but Shepard plowed on, gritting her teeth behind her helmet. As a second one sailed their way, she smashed the thrusters to make the Mako jump sideways, knocking Williams' cannon shot off target. She could hear Williams growl in frustration behind her, and she threw back, “Sorry,” as she skidded the Mako sideways to use the same tactics as before. The acid had burned straight through their shields and began slowly eating away at the metal paneling, dripping down onto the tires, which were already in bad shape from driving through other puddles of the vile green slime. 

She reversed the Mako, so narrowly avoiding a glob of acid that when it splashed off the ground, it splattered all over the underside. With the shields already gone, this meant the corrosive goo began immediately disintegrating the suspension and the front most axle. The more damage the vehicle took, the harder it was to control, and the more hits it took. Warning lights and emergency beeps began on Shepard's screen, but she just ignored them for the moment, doing the best she could to keep them out of harm's way. When the moment presented itself, she yelled, “Tali! I need you to do what you can to repair the Mako. I know there's not a lot you can get to from in here, but do your best. Williams, you're going to have to man both the gun and the cannon for a few. Hopefully, this thing is almost dead.” 

“Aye aye,” they said together, and got to work. Their shots didn't fire quite as quickly as they had with two people shooting, but some of the warning lights stopped flashing. As the thresher maw disappeared again back down its hole, Tali returned to her seat and strapped herself in, glad to be returning to the buckles that would hold her relatively still. 

“I did what I could, Shepard. I'm not very familiar with vehicles like this one, unfortunately,” Tali said. 

“I understand. I don't know anything about them either. Good work, you two, but we're not done yet. The tires are about half melted, and the front suspension is shot, so I'm going to have to use the thrusters more often, which will make aiming more difficult. I'll yell every time right before we go airborne, alright?” Shepard hollered over her shoulder as they felt and saw the thresher maw rise up from the ground near the original place it had appeared. She slammed on the accelerator, hoping that this would be the last round. 

As she neared, she did not orient herself with the side of the Mako facing the colossus as before, instead pointing the nose at it to make a smaller target. Since she would be relying on the thrusters instead of the wheels to move them side to side, this would be the better option. As soon as they got in range, Williams and Tali began firing again, smoothly alternating to create an unceasing barrage of firepower. Shepard watched a ball of acid fly right towards them out of the screaming cavity of the thresher maw, and tensed, waiting until the last possible moment to leap them into the air. 

“Jumping!” she yelled as she hit the thrusters and jerked the Mako sideways. Tali fired the gun a moment too long, missing, but no cannon shot was wasted. As they landed, some of the acid splashed on the side of the Mako, but not much. Williams fired her cannon, a direct hit in the open mouth of the creature. It shrieked more loudly than before, and spat another glob at them. Tali was again firing the machine gun as Shepard shouted, “Jumping!” but she stopped more quickly this time. 

More warning lights began to flash in front of Shepard. “I guess all this jumping isn't so great on the messed up suspension. But I think we're close! It seems more pissed off now than it did before. Just a few more good hits should do it!” 

Williams nodded, even though no one could see. That last hit to the back of the throat seemed to do more damage than the rest of them, so she focused her next one there, again hitting her target. The beast screamed in fury and writhed in the air, flailing its head around. Tali did what she could to damage it while the cannon cooled down. Williams focused her weapon again, following the head of the thresher maw. “C'mon, c'mon,” she mumbled to herself, waiting for the perfect shot. The massive creature refocused its attention on them, and opened its mouth to spew another chunk of acid at them. Before it could, Williams pounded her button and the cannon fired, directly into its gaping maw. It shrieked distressingly one last time, and slid back into the ground, never to appear again. 

Everyone let out a pent up breath, and took a moment to leave the focus of battle. “Good job, you guys,” Shepard said as she slowly turned the Mako around, and gingerly headed back to what was left of Admiral Kahoku's recon team. As they got near, she stopped the vehicle, and undid her harness. Tali and Williams followed suit, and they all climbed out together to investigate. 

Shepard headed to the beacon to see if any more information about the emergency was available, and also to shut it off. She found it highly unlikely that there would be any survivors. Williams was checking the bodies and collecting dog tags, and once Tali saw what she was doing, joined in. When Shepard inspected the transmitter she noticed something odd in the code. She dug a little deeper into the program, and her suspicions were confirmed. She accessed her omni-tool to copy the information from the beacon before she pulled out her pistol and shot it until it stopped flashing. She shot it a few more times after that for good measure. Then she holstered her gun and stiffly walked back to her team members, her hands clenched in fists at her sides. 

“Are all the tags collected? Any survivors?” Shepard asked in a cold, emotionless voice. 

“Yes, and no,” answered Williams. “We found ten bodies, none in the Grizzly.” 

Shepard nodded and said, “Let's head back to the Mako and signal Joker for pick up. We're done here.” She turned and walked away, her back rigid with bottled rage. 

While they waited, the Mako filled with palpable tension. Shepard had removed her helmet, little wisps of hair sticking to her forehead with sweat that was quickly drying. Ashley had removed hers as well, but Tali, obviously, had not. 

“Shepard, it might not be any of our business, but what did you find when you checked out that transmitter? It must've been something big,” asked Ashley. 

Shepard let out a sigh and dropped her shoulders. “The beacon was a trap. I'm not sure who placed it, but they meant for those soldiers to die from that thresher maw. They put it there purposely; it wasn't Admiral Kahoku's team's distress signal. My guess is that they picked up the signal, came to investigate it like we did, and then were wiped out before they could make it back into the dubious protection of their Grizzly. I copied all the information I could off of it so I can do more detailed research later. I have a hunch who it was that did this, but I'm not certain enough to say with confidence.” 

The team remained quiet for the rest of the time on the planet, and exited the Mako out into the cargo bay with a subdued air around them. Ashley and Tali dumped their weapons onto the worktable to be checked later, and removed their armour by the lockers, to be looked over and cleaned first. Shepard watched them get to work in silence, and started to head to the elevator, still in full gear. She stopped and turned back towards them. 

“You guys performed excellently today, both with each other, and while I was jumping us all over the place. I am proud to have people that I can trust, people such as you, at my back. Good work,” she said quietly, but with conviction. Then she turned back around to head up to her cabin to clean her own armour and weapons, not that they really needed it. It was the Mako that actually required help. She looked at it from the elevator before the door slid shut, noting its melted tires, peeling paint and cratered sheet metal, and the occasional spark sputtering from various locations. Thresher maws were bad for equipment, apparently. 

After notifying the proper authorities on where to retrieve the bodies of the lost soldiers, she sat on her cabin floor in her tank top and shorts, cleaning her armour and weapons. They didn't really need it, but maintaining the equipment one's life depended on was exceedingly important, and it helped calm her nerves and focus her mind. She knew she still had to take care of the Mako, but she definitely wasn't mentally prepared for that challenging task. Even if she didn't have to do it herself, she'd still have to find someone to delegate the task to. She finished reassembling her last rifle, and leaned back against her bed, sighing. 

Her team had missed lunch on their away mission, but it wasn't quite dinnertime, and Riela wasn't hungry enough to find a snack, or calm enough to face anyone yet. Her insides were still roiling over the trap that Cerberus had set. Well, Cerberus was just her most likely candidate. The little bit of research she had done months ago had only turned up individually written exposés of incrimination floating around on the extranet or conspiracy theories about them, but this fit right in with what those 'reports' had cited. With her Spectre clearance, she'd have the opportunity to uncover better information on them, whenever she next found the time to begin investigating. 

She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, making it dirtier with a smear of grease, rather than cleaner. Her hair had mostly worked its way out of her usual bun, large strands of it hanging limply down around her face and on the back of her neck. She didn't care, she was getting ready to get in the shower. She was just making sure that Ashley and Tali- _Did quarians even take showers? Unlikely. What about cleaning the exterior of their suits? A question for another time._ -just Ashley then, had all the hot water she wanted first. 

A knock sounded on her door, and then it promptly whooshed open. Riela realized belatedly that she had not locked it upon entering. A large spine-headed figure in shining armour stood in her doorway, but did not enter. 

“Shepard. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to open your door, I must have brushed the panel while I was trying to knock,” Garrus said, as far as Riela could tell, genuinely. 

“That's alright. I was just cleaning my equipment. What did you want, Vakarian?” She stood as she spoke, straightening her clothes and brushing herself off. 

Still hovering in the doorway, he said, “I wanted to see-” Shepard cut him off abruptly. 

“Don't stand out there, come in if you want to talk,” she said, waving him forward. 

Garrus took a few steps, so that he was just far enough past the threshold that the door closed behind him, before resuming his sentence. “I wanted to see how the mission went. The Mako looks like you really don't appreciate it. What did that poor machine ever do to you?” 

Shepard smirked wryly, one corner of her mouth twitching up for a moment. “It wasn't personal, just an unfortunate casualty of war. There was an unexpected thresher maw.” Then her mouth pressed firmly into a line, and Garrus could see that her eyes went hard right before she redirected them at the floor. 

Unsure of what to say to put her in a better mood, he skipped all the quippy lines in his head and instead offered, “I could fix it for you. I'm pretty handy with machinery.” 

Shepard's head jerked back up, her angry thoughts suddenly forgotten. “Could you really? Tali and I don't know anything about vehicles like those, and Ashley didn't say anything, so I don't think she does either. It seems unlikely that Wrex could fix it, or even fit underneath. In all the months with Kaidan on board, he's never mentioned any kind of automotive knowledge, and it's not in his files. Of course, the Mako's never been so badly damaged before. I looked at our inventory, and we do have equipment and spare parts for repairs, even new tires. It needs to be done, and soon, because we'll probably need it to get Dr. T'Soni, wherever she is.” She knew she was rambling, but this was a huge weight off her mind. 

“Anything you need, Shepard. I'll always be right behind you.” 

_Dammit Riela, do NOT think dirty thoughts. That is not what he meant, and you know it. He is NOT interested in you. They probably don't do it in that position, anyway. Augh! Focus! You are practically in your underwear, alone in your room together, and it means nothing. NOTHING!_

Shepard busied herself with her weapons, picking them up off the floor and placing them on her little table, while her mind went temporarily haywire. And she'd been doing so well too, for the minute that led up to those thoughts. She couldn't bring herself to meet his brilliant blue eyes, afraid hers would betray her imprudent, unprofessional thoughts. Keeping her eyes focused on the armour she was moving from the haphazard pile in the middle of the room to a slightly less haphazard pile in her locker, she answered, “Thanks, Vakarian. That would be a really big help to me. To all of us.” She steeled herself after all the armour was moved, and met his gaze, a smile plastered on her face. The way his head was quirked to the side made her think he was curious, or confused. “Was there anything else you needed?” she tried to ask calmly. 

“No,” he answered, his sub-vocals flanging a strange, slightly discordant pitch. 

“Then I guess I'll see you at dinner. Hopefully, I'll look less like the mess I do now. A shower would probably help. And a uniform.” Outwardly, she was smiling, trying to keep things lighthearted, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ears, but inwardly she was ripping her tongue out of her mouth and stomping it into the carpet of her room with her bare foot for its foolish, irrepressible words. _Don't draw attention to your state of undress!_

“Y-y-yes,” he said slowly. “I'll see you at dinner.” 

“See you at dinner!” she repeated, too cheerfully, too forced. His back was already turned, leaving her cabin. 

“Not good. Not good,” she mumbled to herself after he was gone, pacing around her room frantically. “Why can't I keep control of myself? What is going on with me?” she said louder, exasperated. She ran her fingers through her hair, destroying what was left of her bun, her sweat-dried hair falling thick around her shoulders and nearly halfway down her back. “Let's focus on the positives. I lasted a whole minute this time before something stupid happened to my brain. And the Mako will be taken care of by someone who knows what they're doing. And I'm talking out loud to myself now, so I won't have to waste any of my time trying to convince people I'm crazy, they'll be able to tell right away!” 

She shut her mouth so hard her teeth clicked when they hit, refusing to let anymore incriminating sounds gush forth. She decisively stalked to her bathroom and turned on her shower, stripping away her greasy clothes to leave in a pile on the floor of her room before letting the door slide shut. She stepped into the steaming water and scrubbed her body furiously, trying her hardest to wash the outside in an attempt to affect the inside; trying to wash the thoughts away that plagued her mind and body every time a certain blue-eyed turian came within line of sight. 

As she lathered her hair, she thought, _I need to do something to keep my mind off of the impossible. Obviously this isn't going to go away by just ignoring it. Maybe if I focus my pent up sexual energy- is that even what this is? -on someone else..._ she let that thought drift for a moment. _No, that's impossible. Anyone on this ship, **under my command** , is off limits, and I've never been interested in one-night stands. I think maybe I'll just try sticking to a mantra. Every time I see him, I'll just tell myself 'It's never going to happen' over and over. That's just going to have to do._ She nodded once to herself, a final motion to seal her new decision into permanence, and resolutely rinsed her hair.

–-----------------

Garrus left Shepard's cabin a little hurt, but mostly bewildered. It seemed like no matter what effort he put forth to be friendly, she was still anxious and edgy around him. And he couldn't figure out why, other than that he was a turian. He'd been watching her closely all the days they'd been on the Normandy together, and she'd gotten along well with the other non-humans, particularly Tali. She didn't seem to have the same reactions to them that she had towards him, and it wedged his plates. 

That first day when they'd met, and later fought side by side playing their little sniper game, he'd put her reactions down to performance stress. But they'd continued, even aboard this peaceful vessel. Why did her heart rate jump and then speed whenever she was around him? Why did her temperature rise, if only slightly, and her breathing become more shallow and quickened? Why did she avoid meeting his gaze so frequently? It had to be fear and nervousness. 

He could hear her talking out loud to herself in there as he walked away, saying, “Not good. Not good. Why can't I keep control of myself? What is going on with me?” 

What was that, if not proof? He'd picked up similar reactions from other humans, both on this vessel and back at the Citadel, but never this strong or persistent. The great Commander Shepard, scared of turians because of the Relay 314 Incident. He shook his head at the irony of it all as he headed to the battery to retrieve his tools so he could work on the Mako a little before dinnertime. 

The strange part of it all was that she didn't try to avoid him, and even laughed at his awful jokes. She seemed to actually like them, and felt completely authentic in her laughter. She had no problem at all bantering back and forth with him, trying to out do his successes with her own. From all outward appearances, she wasn't in the least bit sensitive towards him or his kind. If it wasn't for his turian hearing and his visor, he'd never know anything was wrong at all. _She does a good job keeping her true feelings hidden from her crew,_ he thought. _She probably thinks she's keeping them from me, too._ He could respect her for that; leading them as they should be lead, not allowing her emotions to cloud her judgment. 

She was the kind of leader he'd been looking for his whole life; honourable, team-driven, focused on the goal, full of strength of will and conviction. So why this problem with turians? Her militaristic ways and theirs blended so perfectly, she could have grown up on Palaven among them and fit right in, excluding her physical appearance. 

As the elevator took him slowly down to the ruined Mako, his mind continued to fixate on this one person, so vastly different from anyone, human or otherwise, that he had ever met. If he admitted it to himself, he'd been spending more and more of his personal time focused on her. He'd never seen eyes as bright as any turian's on a human before, especially not green ones. He couldn't be sure, he'd never studied humans that closely, but in his experience, humans that had a darker skin tone always had dark eyes that went with it. Was her genetic sequence rare, or just rare outside of Earth? Had she somehow permanently altered it to be more aesthetically pleasing to humans? That combination would definitely be pleasing in a turian. She was just so unusual! His days as a C-Sec detective had ingrained in him a desire to unravel every mystery uncovered, and Shepard was nothing if not a mystery. That was alright, he had the training to go along with the compulsion, and he finally came to the decision that he was going to use it.


	7. Therum

After the excitement of Edolus, planet scanning resumed its normal, boring aspects. They scanned the final planet of that system, and then headed out to Knossos, the last one in the Artemis Tau cluster. Dr. Liara T'soni had to be there somewhere. The interim allowed Garrus to repair the Mako, and Shepard had to admit that he'd done an excellent job. He'd somehow even managed to find paint and re-detailed it; it looked good as new, and she told him so. 

She'd went down and checked on him occasionally, and each time had led to his mocking her driving skills, something he'd never really witnessed for himself, which made the jibes that much funnier. He also had mentioned so many ways to improve the Mako that Shepard finally granted him all powers of decision regarding the vehicle while it was on the Normandy. Anything involving away missions was still her call. 

She tried to follow along the explanations of his upgrades, but he talked to her as if she already knew the basics, which she didn't, so most of it went over her head. She was genuinely interested, but just didn't have the time to learn this branch of mechanics. What she did gather was that the next time she drove the Mako, it would be like a completely different, superior vehicle. Mostly, she was excited for that to be true, but a little part of her was hoping that Garrus was exaggerating his skills so she could poke fun at his downfalls like he'd been doing to her these past few days. Turnabout was fair play. 

Finally, after scanning almost all the planets of the Knossos system, they found something. Therum, the second planet out from the sun, was giving off very strange readings. According to Joker, they were off the chart and coming from somewhere underground. He also mentioned that a signature similar to one from Eden Prime was being picked up, which they now recognized as a marker for geth. Due to rivers of lava coursing over the surface of the planet, the Mako had to be dropped off quite a bit away from where the nexus of the signal was located. 

On the planet, Shepard steered the Mako carefully around the lava, until they had to take out two large geth armatures that a geth dropship placed in their path, with Alenko and Vakarian controlling the guns. The thrusters reacted much more quickly now, thanks to the upgrades, so Shepard relied on those to avoid anything that flew their way. Continuing their meandering path to their objective, they eventually came across a large closed gate guarded by three turrets. Luckily, there was a small side route on the right, which they took instead. 

Another turret was planted there, which exploded from an excellent shot fired by Vakarian on the cannon, and some geth rocket troopers were mowed down by Alenko with the machine gun. Behind the gate, a large number of geth ran around, but eventually they were all felled. They got out of the Mako briefly to reconnoiter, and discovered that they had to drop a gate identical to the one they had just driven around to continue. After the way was opened, they got back in the Mako and proceeded forward. 

Orange lava flowed slowly by on this side of the gate too, which Shepard avoided. They destroyed two more geth armatures before they came to a manufactured tunnel guarded by the largest geth machine they had yet seen. Shepard tried to keep the Mako behind some large piles of fallen rock for cover, but that made aiming the weapons mounted on top difficult. She realized she was just going to have to face the colossus down and rely on the thrusters again, the roadway being too narrow for any serious maneuvers. It was a fairly long fight, and Shepard's muscles were tense with strain by the time it exploded in a shower of blue sparks and slumped in a heap of wires and fabricated plates. 

They took a moment to gather themselves and check over the Mako, Vakarian making any repairs that were necessary, which weren't many, or particularly bad. Shepard rolled her shoulders and stretched her neck side to side in an attempt to ease the tension, then shook out her hands and wrists before gripping the steering handles again. She drove them up into the tunnel which wound its way around before coming out again in the open. Geth guarded this side of the tunnel too, but only two puny rocket launchers. After that colossus, anything seemed puny. They went down easily, and the team went on. 

They made their way in and out of a second tunnel, running over a few more geth along the way. There they had to stop and continue on foot, the only way through being a narrow cleft between two rocks. Shepard readied her sniper rifle and omni-tool while Vakarian equipped his assault rifle and omni-tool, and Alenko checked over his pistol, blue biotic electricity tracing over his body in waves. When all were prepared, Shepard motioned for Alenko to take the lead, followed by Vakarian, with herself bringing up the rear. 

As they started to take fire from the enemy, Shepard ducked behind a rock for cover. She prepared her Overload program on her omni-tool, found a target and let it loose. The geth's shields went down, and she took it out with a well placed sniper round to the head. She leaped over her cover and found another rock to hide behind. Surveying her surroundings, she noticed a red laser sight coming from the top of a tower across the basin. She took aim through her scope, and brought down the geth sniper quickly before checking on her team mates who were farther down the slope. They seemed in good condition, Alenko Throwing a group of geth in the air while he and Vakarian wiped them out with their guns. 

A couple geth stragglers were coming up on them, and Shepard used Sabotage on one, overheating him before sniping the other. Then she went back and shot the one she'd left standing, unable to move while his circuits fried. _That's four,_ she thought to herself; keeping track was a main focus of hers while in the field with Vakarian. It would be foolish to yell it out and give away her position, but she'd keep him updated anyway, telling him when she got the chance. 

They regrouped and double-checked their surroundings before climbing back out of the hollow, taking a path on their right. It curved up and around the top of the giant hole they'd just come out of before leading north to some old structures. In the distance, she could see a ramp leading up to a thick circular door into the side of a mountain. She checked her omni-tool for the signal Joker had mentioned, and it seemed to be coming from almost directly beneath her. This looked to be the place. 

It also looked to be the place for an ambush, so they all reloaded their weapons and continued ahead slowly. Shepard thought she saw something leap or fall through the air underneath a catwalk, but before she could investigate, a geth dropship practically landed right in front of them, and a group of geth jumped down. There were a few armed with rocket launchers, a couple with sniper rifles, two very fast geth that hardly looked mechanical at all with no weapons, and a geth armature. It unfolded from the ball form it had dropped down in, and towered over the humans and the turian on four legs. 

As they could see energy building in front of its headlight, they all ran for cover behind some crates to the left. If they didn't take out the two-legged enemies quickly, they would be pinned down and surrounded. She peeked out from behind her crate, rapidly taking in the positions of the geth. The ones that looked like they were made of muscle instead of paneling had disappeared, one sniper was untargetable behind a crate, one was going for cover to her far right, a position that would allow it to hit them where they were, and the three rocket launchers were out in the open aiming for them. The armature released its blue ball of energy, and she ducked back as it sheared along the edge of her crate and past her head, centimeters from her face. 

She decided the sniper would be her first target. It was going to put them in the most immediate danger, but was equipped with low shields so one shot should take it down just like the last one. She tracked it through her scope as it ran, calculating her shot. She squeezed her trigger at the right moment, and the sniper spun around from the force of the impact before sprawling in the dirt. She could feel Alenko and Vakarian at her back, firing their weapons around the other side of the crate, but didn't turn to look; there wasn't any time. 

She readied her Overload and released it at one of the geth firing rockets, one that was taking assault rifle damage from Vakarian. With its shields gone, it was down quickly, but Shepard didn't waste time watching, she'd already moved onto another, hitting it with Sabotage. While it stood there frozen, she fired two shots one right after the other into its head. As it crumpled, she caught the shine of a red laser sight through her scope as it focused on her helmet. Without thinking, she followed it to its source and fired smoothly, not stopping to aim. She was so practiced with her rifle that her aim was true without conscious thought, and the second sniper went down without getting off a shot. 

Shepard ducked back behind cover to check on her duo and reload. By her count, one rocket trooper was left, the two hoppers, and of course the giant armature. Another one of its crackling energy balls flew past her cover just as she thought that. It was a good thing it took so much time to warm up before it could fire. Alenko had one of the hoppers in the air with his biotics and was shooting it with its pistol. The other lay dead on the top of their crate; Shepard could see one of its arms dangling over right above her head. She looked around Alenko to Vakarian who was reloading his assault rifle calmly. She didn't hear any enemy weapon-fire, so the other rocket launcher must be down. That left the armature. 

Alenko let the hopper drop to the ground, dead. He reloaded his pistol and waited for his biotics to recharge. Another pulse from the armature flew between him and Vakarian, missing. Shepard checked her omni-tool, and her Overload and Sabotage programs were both ready for use. Her team mates looked to her, nodding their readiness and waiting for her signal. She held up a fist and counted to three on it, at which point they all ducked their heads around cover to fire on the giant geth. 

Shepard let loose with her Overload immediately followed by her Sabotage before taking aim with her rifle. The machine was too far away for Alenko to use biotics on it, so he just concentrated on his pistol. Vakarian let out a steady stream of fire from his assault rifle. The target was so large, aim wasn't such a focus, and a lower accuracy weapon would do alright. Shepard fired multiple shots at its headlight before her Sabotage wore off and it readied another shot from its pulse cannon. 

They all ducked back into cover and reloaded their weapons, whether they needed it or not. Shepard's tech skills weren't cooled off enough yet to use, so her bullets were just going to have to finish the job. The armature's shot flew past, and they all poked back out from cover together. While Shepard was taking aim, she saw through her scope the armature get hit by a Sabotage that wasn't hers. _Vakarian,_ she thought. It was a reasonable assumption, he was very good with his omni-tool. He must have been using it on all his targets and Shepard just hadn't caught it until now. Just one more skill they had in common. She fired her sniper at the headlight while Alenko stayed steady with his pistol, and Vakarian returned to his rifle. With three people firing on it at once, the automaton was soon done for. 

They all stood up and took a moment to catch their breath, regrouping. Shepard strolled out into the open, trailed by Alenko and Vakarian. She was studying the mountain the walkway led up to, and something about it reminded her of volcanoes she had seen pictures of. Her head was tilted to the side, eyes squinting up behind her helmet's visor, her right hand on her hip and her left holding her rifle down by her side. Alenko placed himself back and to the right of her, but Vakarian walked on up to stand next to her on the left. 

Before he could say anything, she said without turning her head, “Anything in the Mako doesn't count, and neither does that last armature. Those were team kills.” 

“You'll take any advantage to come out ahead,” Vakarian snarked, but secretly agreed. 

“Advantages like my superior skills with a sniper rifle and tech programs? You're right.” She turned her head and looked up at him. For once, she didn't hate her helmet hiding her face from view, or his. If she couldn't see his cerulean eyes, maybe she could keep herself under better control. And if he couldn't see hers, she wouldn't have to avoid his gaze and turn away. 

“Speaking of which, you should show me that program of yours that drops enemy shields. That's a very useful one to have,” he said. 

“What? You mean you don't have that one?” she asked with mock surprise. “I guess that's just to my...advantage,” she said grinning. 

“Well, when you put it that way, I'd better not get it for myself. How else will you keep up with me?” Vakarian asked. 

Shepard scoffed good-naturedly at this. “I don't need to cheat to win. When we get back to the ship, I'll give you all my offensive tech programs. But what will you give me in return?” 

“Fixing the Mako isn't worth enough to balance out?” he said, pretending to be indignant. 

“No!” she scoffed. “You volunteered for that. It doesn't count, besides the fact that it's already been given and you can't give it again.” 

“Oh, with your driving skills, or lack, I'm sure that opportunity will present itself sooner rather than later.” 

Shepard gasped. “Hey! I'm not that bad! The ground is rocky!” 

Alenko stepped forward and cleared his throat. “Sorry Shepard, but he's right. I've been with you plenty of times to know that this time wasn't a fluke. I eat stomach settlers before every mission when I know you're going to drive.” 

Shepard was speechless for a moment, looking back and forth between her two helmeted team mates. She couldn't tell how much they were saying was an exaggeration, and how much was true. “I don't have to listen to this. We have an asari doctor to find.” 

She turned and stalked away, walking to the gangway without looking back. Alenko and Vakarian looked at each other and started to chuckle together. 

“Looks like we found a sore spot,” Alenko said. 

“Yes,” said Vakarian still laughing quietly, watching Shepard stomp away, little puffs of dust rising in the air after every footstep. He started after her, quickening his pace to meet up before she reached the door, Alenko close behind. 

The giant circular door opened onto a metal tunnel lit at regular intervals with blue-white light strips. Shepard kept the lead, walking as quietly as she could, her rifle at her shoulder, but not looking through the scope. Alenko put a Barrier up around himself, both hands on his pistol that was trained over Shepard's right shoulder. Vakarian was in a similar pose on her left. 

She caught movement ahead and signaled a stop. She looked through her scope and targeted a geth trooper that hadn't noticed them yet. She steadied herself and took the kill. Then, knowing her shot had alerted any other nearby enemies, she rushed forward to where the geth had been and the tunnel opened up. She pressed herself against the left side as a geth below fired up at them. Alenko and Vakarian opened fire on it as Shepard took aim through her scope. Her shot that went perfectly through the center of its headlight ended its quasi-life. 

“Two for me,” she said, heading down the metal grated floor, not looking back. She reloaded her rifle without missing a step, walking down from landing to landing. The tunnel dead ended into an elevator, which they took down. It started to spark and shudder, a squealing shriek coming from the friction of the elevator and the shaft. Then it came to a halting stop. Luckily, the mechanical safeties held and it didn't plummet them to their deaths. They pried the door open and jumped down the few feet to the next level. Maybe it wouldn't have plummeted them to their deaths after all. 

As Shepard jumped down to the next level, she could hear a feminine voice calling for help. It sounded like it was far away, or coming through water. She looked around and saw an asari floating trapped in a bubble of some sort behind a blue barrier. Her arms and legs were spread wide, clearly unable to be moved. Shepard removed her helmet and walked up to the barrier. She touched it, and though it didn't hurt her, she couldn't get through either. 

“Help! Please, you've got to help me!” called the asari through the barrier, her large blue eyes wide with fear. 

“Are you Dr. Liara T'Soni?” Shepard asked. 

“Yes! Please, you've got to help me. Geth showed up with a krogan leading them. I think they were here to capture me! I activated these Prothean barriers to keep them out, but I must have hit something I wasn't supposed to, and now I'm trapped!” Her voice was hysterical with a thin veneer of control. 

“Calm down, Dr. T'Soni. We'll help you get free. I have some questions to ask you, but now is obviously not the time. Will you answer them once you're safe?” Shepard asked with a low, soothing voice. 

“Yes, anything! Thank you so much! But the controls are on this side of the barrier, and there's no way to get through them! The geth and the krogan have been trying for hours.” 

“I think we'll be able to come up with something. Don't worry, and try to stay calm,” Shepard said, putting her helmet back on. She motioned for Alenko and Vakarian to follow her, and she headed down the metal planking to the rock and dirt-filled area below to see if she could find something useful. Her shields sizzled as they caught a bullet right before it hit her shoulder. 

Immediately, she dove for cover nearby, and she could hear her team mates doing the same behind her. She popped her head over the crate and took aim with her omni-tool, releasing her Sabotage at one geth trooper while Vakarian did the same beside her. Alenko Threw the third into the air, and they all opened fire at their individual targets. Once the geth were eliminated, they investigated the surrounding area. 

They found some salvage and some credits lying around, which they took for later use. Then Shepard came across the controls for a mining laser. Her face spread in a wicked grin that no one could see. She looked over her shoulder at her crew to make sure they were well back, and then got to work on the panel. Within a few short minutes, Shepard had the large piece of machinery up and running. She pointed it at the dirt wall beneath and to the side of where Liara was trapped, and fired it. 

The laser bored a hole through to the other side in no time at all. Shepard shut it back off, and gleefully ran towards the clearing dust to check out her handiwork. Alenko and Vakarian looked at each other again, shook their heads at her antics, and followed at a more sedate pace. 

Through the Shepard-made tunnel, there was a platform of some kind that did not look like the structures that had brought them down this far. It was Prothean. Shepard was already standing at a terminal, studying it. She made sure her duo was on the platform with her, then pushed a holo-button. The platform rose like an elevator and stopped at the next level, the one where Liara was trapped. Shepard removed her helmet before talking to the asari once again. She felt that people always reacted better to someone whose face they could see, as opposed to an emotionless helmet. 

“You got through? But how?” 

“We used the mining laser to blast a hole,” Shepard said with a grin. 

“Oh, yes. That makes sense,” said Liara, stunned into calmness. “Please, help me get free before more geth appear! The controls over there should release me,” she continued, her old anxiety returning. 

Shepard walked over and looked for a moment, and then found the right button to press. She heard Liara hit the ground before she could turn back. When she did, Liara was dusting her hands off, looking no worse for the wear from being trapped by unfathomable ancient technology. 

“Do you think that elevator will take us back up to the surface?” asked Vakarian. 

“I think it will. It seems to have been built for that purpose, among others,” answered the archeologist. 

“Let's go, then,” said Shepard. She put her helmet back on again, and walked over to the platform's control panel. 

Liara followed, but stopped Shepard with a question. “What I don't understand is why the geth are after me to begin with. What are they even doing on this side of the Perseus Veil?” 

Alenko answered before Shepard could. “An ex-Spectre named Saren is trying to find a Prothean piece of technology called the Conduit. He has the geth working for him. He probably heard you were an expert on them and has chased you down to force you to work for him as well.” 

“The Conduit? I've never heard or discovered anything that mentioned something like that. I don't even know what it is!” Liara said, looking from helmet to helmet for a better explanation. 

“We don't know what it is either, except that it is Prothean,” said Shepard. 

“But how did he even hear about me? Almost none of my research has been published. I'm practically a laughing stock in asari archeological circles.” Just then, a distant rumbling could be heard, and the platform shuddered under their feet. Liara continued, “These ruins are not stable. That laser must have triggered a seismic event. We must leave before the whole place caves in!” She worked at the platform controls while Shepard hailed the Normandy. 

“Joker, do you read me? Lock onto my signal and be ready for pickup. Things are getting shaky down here!” 

“Aye aye, Shepard. ETA eight minutes.” 

Vakarian's helmet turned towards Shepard. “Things are getting shaky down here? Very funny.” 

“I'm glad you liked it. I try to be as accurate as I can,” she answered, a self-satisfied smile behind her helmet. 

The platform rose smoothly all the way to the top. The party could see a small shaft of daylight through the passage in front of them, but as they started to walk towards it, the infamous krogan battlemaster and two geth shock troopers showed up from that direction. They stood blocking the way. 

“Surrender. Or don't. That would be more fun,” the krogan said. 

“We don't have time for this,” Shepard said under her breath. To the krogan, she said, “This place is coming down!” 

“That makes the fight more exhilarating,” he answered. Stepping closer, he said, “Thanks for getting rid of those barriers for us. Now hand the doctor over.” 

Liara, sounding quite firm for someone who was so close to panicking just a little while ago, said, “Whatever it is that you're after, you're not getting it from me.” 

“I think Dr. T'Soni would like to stay with us,” Shepard said. 

“Saren wants her. And what Saren wants, Saren gets,” the krogan replied. “Kill them!” he said to the geth. 

Shepard readied her rifle while shouting, “Alenko! Protect Liara! She has no weapons or armour, and that's who they're after!” 

“Aye aye, Shepard!” he hollered back, already running towards the asari that was trying to hide behind the platform's console. 

These geth soldiers were much faster than the ones they'd been fighting. Shepard tried to hit one with her Overload, but missed. She tried to hit the same one with her Sabotage, and it worked. While it was momentarily frozen, she took it out with two consecutive sniper shots through the headlight. She lowered her weapon and turned, trying to find the other one. Vakarian was working on the krogan, the last geth trying to flank him while his attention was elsewhere. 

With both of her tech skills in cool down, she'd have to do it the old-fashioned way. She ran to the right, her back to the tunnel, trying to get into a good position to fire on the geth before it could attack the turian. She quickly aimed a shot at its chest to drop its shields and get its attention. When it turned to look at her, she shot it again through the head. While it staggered, something hit Shepard in the back of her head, which dropped her own shields and made her stumble. 

“Shepard!” Alenko screamed through his Barrier he had up around himself and Liara. 

She turned to look at him and saw him aim his pistol at something behind her. She turned quickly as Alenko shot, and saw a geth sniper hiding behind a crate part of the way down the hall. Alenko was at the wrong angle to hit it even though he tried, and couldn't reposition himself away from Liara. She aimed at the sniper that had brought down her shields, and squeezed the trigger. Her shot was a good one, and the geth fell out from behind cover, not moving. 

She whirled back around to check on Vakarian and saw that he was no longer shooting at the krogan, but was just finishing off the geth she thought she had already killed. Shepard was instantly furious with herself for leaving him in danger from two enemies on either side, no matter what the reason was that her attention was drawn away. _So where was the krogan?_ She spun, trying to spot movement behind the mechanisms of the platform tower. 

Too late, she heard a deafening roar behind her. She half-turned, mostly looking over her shoulder at the monstrosity barreling with impossible speed towards her. He smashed her to the ground with all his weight and fury. Her shields had already been deactivated by the geth, and she felt her light armour crunch into her left arm and torso, ribs snapping as she was flattened underneath him at an awkward angle on her side. 

She didn't move as he climbed up off her, intent on killing another of her crew the same way, his battle fury completely in control. Dazed and fighting off the blackness at the edges of her vision, she tried to see what was happening. She slowly craned her head around, pain from the movement along her side and across chest making her almost lose consciousness. She gritted her teeth and fought it off, her focus on her team mates. It looked like Liara had her own Barrier up, and Alenko and Vakarian were facing down the krogan from either side of it. Alenko Threw it up into the air, and they continued to pelt it full of bullets. It came down dead. 

Ominous rumbles could be heard far beneath Shepard's ear, down the platform shaft working their way up, accompanied by a severe vibration that shuddered into everything around them. Pieces of rock began to fall from the ceiling, and Shepard tried to move, crawl or drag herself or something, to safety, but rolling over made her black out. 

“Get Liara! She's in shock!” she heard a double-toned voice say from nearby. How long she'd been unconscious, she didn't know, but probably only a few moments. Something was going on that required speed, but she couldn't remember what. 

_Why was everything shaking?_

She felt large, gentle hands roll her slowly over onto her back, and she blacked out again. 

She blinked her eyes as cool air touched her face, but couldn't quite make out the blurry shape moving right in front of it. 

“Spirits, she _is_ still alive,” said the voice above her. It came out as a gasp, someone talking who was shocked or awed. 

_Of course I'm still alive. Why wouldn't I be?_ she thought in a daze. The words in her mind floated by gently, carried on a breeze. 

“Hang on, Shepard. We'll get you out of here. This is probably going to hurt,” the bleary roundish silver shape said. 

_That voice...I know that voice..._ “Garrus?” Shepard mumbled, barely a whisper. Then she thought, _What's going to hurt?_

A large strong arm worked its way under her shoulders as carefully as it could, while a second one went under her knees more easily. Shepard's breathing, already shallow, caught in her throat and came out a hiss. 

_That does hurt,_ she thought. As the arms underneath her put pressure on her shoulder blades and back to lift her, she tried to scream, but only a whimper came out. Then, with more upward movement, blessed, blessed blackness overtook her for good.


	8. The Medbay

Garrus sprinted out of the tunnel into daylight with Shepard unconscious in his arms. He was glad she wasn't awake to feel immense amount of pain that would be coursing through her body from every step jouncing her in his arms. He did his best to hold her gently and not put any pressure on her mangled left side that was tucked against his chest, but it was difficult, and they were in a hurry to leave. He looked back over his shoulder to see where Kaidan was. He was just a few steps behind with Liara in his arms much the same way Shepard was in Garrus'. Liara hadn't been physically damaged, but she'd gone into shock at the sight of all the violence around her. Clearly, she was not used to such things. They'd tried to make her run, but she didn't understand the immensity of their situation, her brain as unattached as it was, so Kaidan just expedited the situation and carried her out. 

Not a moment too soon, they broke free of the interior. A giant cloud of dust exploded out after them, and they slowed their pace. Garrus looked up and around, trying to pinpoint the Normandy, but he didn't see anything. He growled under his breath, then turned to Kaidan. 

“Alenko, can you sit the doctor down and hail the Normandy? I'm worried that if I lay Shepard down, I'll do more damage to her,” he said, speaking calmly in a way that did not reflect his true inner emotions. 

Kaidan curtly nodded in response, and helped Liara to slump on the ground before contacting Joker through his helmet's radio, his hand pressing the button on the side. “Normandy, do you copy?” At the affirmative response, he continued. “This is Lieutenant Alenko. We need immediate evac and medical attention. Please have Dr. Chakwas on hand and anyone else who is trained to assist her. Commander Shepard was critically injured by a krogan, but is still alive.” 

“Aye aye, Alenko. We're close enough that you should be able to spot us coming in from the east.” It was Joker's voice, and he sounded more professional than Kaidan had ever heard before. Kaidan turned to look in the direction indicated, and could indeed see a tiny sparkle of something in the sky. It rapidly grew in size until its nose was directly in front of them with the cargo bay door opened into a ramp. He helped Liara to her feet and wrapped one arm around her to coax her onto the ship. He turned his head to check on Shepard and Garrus. 

Now that the impending doom of being crushed to death had passed, Garrus took his time to carefully carry Shepard aboard. The last thing he wanted was to take her situation from fixable to irreparably damaged through his own actions. He tried to maintain the delicate balance between slow enough to not break her further, and fast enough to save her life. 

Garrus with Shepard in his arms, Chakwas, and another female human Garrus hadn't learned the name of yet, boarded the elevator that would take them to the medbay. Never had Garrus felt that the elevator moved more slowly than it did right then. He caught himself growling out loud again, and forced himself to stop with much effort. Now was not the time. 

When the door slid open, Chakwas and the nurse hurried out and led the way. Garrus followed with a gentle but quick gait. They had an operating table ready for her, surrounded by a lot of medical equipment and large machines. Garrus laid her down as carefully as he could, her head lolling to the side, and sat her helmet on a shelf nearby. Gasps could be heard around him, but he wasn't paying attention to them. Here in this sterile environment, her injuries seemed so much worse than they had back on the planet. He looked down at the crumpled and torn armour, crimson blood leaking out here and there, and tried to imagine what kind of damage it hid. Humans weren't meant to be shaped the way that metal casing was. 

He forced the hard knot in his throat back down into his gizzard, concentrating on the fact that both his hearing and his visor were still picking up her heartbeat, as strained as it was, and ignoring the way her breaths were coming shallow and gasped. He stepped back, and watched the humans get to work. Not wanting to interrupt, but needing to know, he asked, “Is she going to be alright?” 

Dr. Chakwas did not turn around or stop working at removing Shepard's armour as she answered. “Considering what I can see so far, her heartbeat is quite strong. I don't know the extent of the injuries yet, but based on that fact alone, I'd say she's going to make it. Keep in mind, that is only a preliminary determination. Now, I need you to please leave. Let everyone else know that no one is allowed in here unless they are a medical professional. I will contact you as soon as I know more and the patient is stable.” 

“Thank you, Dr. Chakwas.” Garrus turned and left, the medbay door sliding closed behind him with disturbing finality. Chakwas had already closed off the windows from view, so there was nothing more to see here. Kaidan and Liara were standing just outside the medbay, with Ashley, Tali, and Wrex huddled a little farther away. They were all staring at him with strained, worried faces. Well, not Wrex; he just looked like a krogan to Garrus' eye. He removed his helmet and tucked it under one arm before saying anything. 

“Dr. Chakwas says her heartbeat is strong and that she will most likely make it. Right now it's too early to tell for sure. They made me leave before they even had all her amour off, so I don't know the extent of her injuries, and neither did they. She said she'd update me when Shepard was stable, and then I'll pass the information on to you all. No one is allowed to go in there except for medical professionals for now.” 

“But what happened down there?” asked Tali. 

Garrus looked to Kaidan to see if he was going to explain, but his vitals were all still very high, his body was tense, and it didn't look like he was going to say anything, so Garrus answered. “There were geth all over the surface, blocking the way to the underground ruins. We defeated them, rescued Liara from Prothean technology, then were attacked by more geth and a krogan trying to capture her for Saren. During the fight, Shepard was rushed by the krogan and crushed under his weight. Kaidan and I defeated the krogan and left the mine shaft, just before it all came crashing down on our heads,” he explained with brevity. 

“Keelah Se'lai,” breathed Tali. 

Wrex grunted. “She survived a krogan battle fury charge. If she recovers, she is worthy to lead me, even to salarian hell,” he said, then headed back down to the cargo bay. No one else said anything, contemplating the future's darkness without Shepard to lead the way. What would happen to the mission if their Spectre died? 

Garrus looked from face to face, and stopped on Liara's. The asari's eyes were still large and unseeing in shock, her body propped listlessly against Kaidan's, who unknowingly still had his arm wrapped around her in unconscious support. He cleared his throat, which sounded like a jaggedy growl. “Kaidan, do you want to take care of her, or should I?” He motioned to the feminine creature leaning on him. Kaidan's eyes snapped towards Garrus, his arm and his jaw tightening at the same time. 

“I will,” he answered, in his typical concise way. 

Garrus nodded in assent. “Alright. I'll go up to the CIC and brief them on our mission and Shepard's condition.” 

Kaidan nodded back, and Garrus walked past him and up the stairs. He found XO Pressley and informed him of the situation. He was next in the line of command, so the decision of where to go and what to do was up to him while Shepard was out of commission. The human was one of the few that didn't like turians much, but he maintained strict control over his reactions. 

On a whim, Garrus decided to let Joker know what was going on as well. He didn't think Shepard's condition was a secret, and if it was, it wouldn't stay that way for long. He knew Shepard enjoyed the company of the insubordinate pilot, and probably considered him a friend. _Who wasn't she friendly with?_ he asked himself. Joker took the news quietly, too worried to make any sarcastic comments. 

Garrus made his way back down to the battery, the atmosphere of the Normandy much more subdued than it was fifteen minutes ago. He passed Kaidan and Liara sitting at a mess table, steaming mugs in front of both of them, and a blanket around Liara's shoulders. Kaidan was still in his battle-marked armour, his helmet sitting on the table beside him. No one else was around. He checked on the medbay, but the metal shutters were still down, the access panel of the door red. 

In the quiet solitude of the battery, he sat his helmet down and slowly stripped off his armour. He inspected each piece as he went, noting places that needed repair. All in all, it was still in pretty good shape, but the russet smears across his chestplate gave him pause. They were dried to a darker colour than the one he'd seen seeping out of her. _What a strange colour for blood,_ he thought, brushing his fingerpads lightly across them. In this place, away from prying eyes, he let his guard drop and allowed his emotions to come to the surface. 

He did not want her to die. 

Finally, after years of struggling to do what his father expected of him and galling at every moment, he was free. Free to actually spend his life doing something that mattered, and it was all because of that human Spectre not twenty paces away, unconscious and maybe never able to fight again. Garrus wasn't familiar enough with human anatomy to know exactly how severe her injuries were. He expected the technology in the medbay was as advanced as that of the battery, in which case she probably had a pretty good shot at pulling through. Now that she was in the hands of medical professionals, his fear had mostly faded to be replaced with hope of her recovery. 

Because of her, he was learning to see the world through different eyes. He was beginning to understand that the end did not always justify the means. He'd known that once, as a child at his mother's knee, but all the years working for C-Sec had transformed him into a cynical man, thinking everything and everyone was against him and his goals. Turians were not meant for a solitary existence, and it had been turning him hard. Being around Shepard had allowed a beam of hope to begin to heal his chafened soul. Maybe things really could be better; maybe he really could help people and change their lives. 

He wanted her around to follow, to learn from. There was no one else in the entire galaxy more worthy of his respect than her. No one else he could look up to with an unwavering faith in their actions being the right ones. With her, there was no doubt. He was a little shocked at the depth of his conviction. _Should I really be revering someone like this? Someone I met barely over a week ago? I don't know her all that well, do I?_ He clicked his mandibles in a way that signified disagreement. None of that mattered. He could, as the humans said, feel it in his gut. If he had his say in the matter, he'd never leave her side. 

Well, except maybe to become a Spectre himself. He'd had the option to try once before, but his father had put a swift and immediate end to that. Not this time. Now he had a reason to fight for what he wanted. If he became a Spectre, he really could stay by Shepard, protecting her from enemies that got too close while she sniped over his shoulder. He'd always have her twelve...if she wanted him there. Well, he'd just have to spend the rest of the mission chasing down Saren proving himself worthy and useful to her. He thought saving her life was probably a pretty good start. He set about cleaning his armour and weapons, his mandibles flaring in a small turian grin. 

–---------------

Kaidan stalked through the mess, back and forth, back and forth, between the two long tables. Four hours had passed since they'd returned to the Normandy. His hair was still wet from his shower, dripping onto his uniform collar. He hadn't dried it sufficiently with the hasty toweling he'd given it. He didn't care. He was too overwrought, too angry, to care about anything but the woman undergoing surgery in the medbay, and how it was his failure to protect her that had put her there. He clenched his hands into fists at his side. 

He'd taken her last order, to protect Liara, very seriously. Once on board, he'd taken it a step further and looked after her too, in an attempt to assuage his guilt. It hadn't worked, but Liara was now fed, clean, and sleeping on a borrowed bunk in the crew quarters. 

This was just like Brain Camp, just like Rahna and Vyrnnus all over again. He was too late, not good enough, not fast enough, not strong enough, to protect the woman he cared about from danger. He kept reliving the battle over and over in his mind. First, he'd watched her get shot in the back of the head, while he just sat by doing nothing, pathetically screaming her name in a warning that came only after the bullet. That moment of terror was bad enough, but it was nothing compared to what had happened next. 

She'd been hastily searching for the krogan that was out there, that had been obvious, but she hadn't seen it until it was too late. _He_ hadn't seen it until it was too late. The scene played out in slow motion for his mind's eye. The krogan rushing, Shepard starting to turn, the krogan smashing into her so hard her feet lifted off the ground and their armour looked to be fused together. Both of them falling to the ground, the krogan purposely positioning himself over her to do the most damage possible. He could see the glint in that red eye, the malevolent joy at the bestial destruction of his commander. His gut twisted once more at the image. 

There was one difference between this and the events at Jump Zero. Killing Vyrnnus had been an accident; Kaidan had lost control of himself in the situation. On Therum, he'd known exactly what he was doing. His lips curved into a tight smile at the thought of that krogan, held helpless in the air, as he and Garrus dispatched cold death into its hide. He hadn't lost control at all. Not. At. All. It was a little sad it had died so quickly, truth be told. That krogan needed to pay for what it had done. 

Kaidan stopped his thoughts from going down that path. _No. This wasn't the krogan's fault. This was **my** fault,_ he told himself. _The blame needs to be placed where it rightfully belongs. I should have been there, I should have protected her. My focus should have been on Shepard, not on that asari. Who cares about some naïve archeologist buried in Prothean ruins on a deserted planet? Shepard is the most important. More important than her, more important than me. This mission can't continue without her! I saw the council, they don't believe anything she has to say. It was a miracle she was even made a Spectre by them. And if she dies, will they send anyone else to stop Saren? No! The fate of the whole galaxy is resting on her shoulders, and I didn't do my part to keep her safe! Never again. Never again will I fail my Shepard._

–----------------

Riela awoke slowly, her mind refusing to do anything but note external physical stimuli for the first few minutes. Whatever she was lying on was not very comfortable, hard. The lights were bright, even through her closed eyelids. The scent was astringent and burned her nostrils a little. Strange whirring noises could be heard, both nearby and farther away. 

Then her mind began to slowly center its focus inward. Something soft was on her legs, something tight was around her chest and her left arm. Her right shoulder, her nose, and her ears were cold. 

Then came the pain. By all that was holy, she hurt. Had her chest cavity been ripped opened, emptied, and then put back in at random? Her left arm felt like it had been torn apart into little pieces before being smashed back together like a child destroying then rebuilding a person out of clay. 

She furrowed her brow as a prelude to opening her eyes, and groaned. She barely cracked her eyes open, letting only a tiny slit of light through. Everything was blurry, but she could just make out some movement on her right, a shadow of white on white growing larger. She turned her head slightly in that direction, knowing better than to move anything else. 

“Ah, Commander Shepard. I see you are awake. Welcome back to the Normandy, dear.” It was the calm and soothing British-accented voice of Dr. Chakwas. Riela blinked her eyes a few more times, trying to both clear them and desensitize them to the light, her face still frowning. What had happened? 

_Well, what's the last thing I remember? Dr. T'Soni...rescued. Seismic event...elevator...geth...krogan. Krogan._ Riela gasped a little as the memory came back, but wasn't finished. _What next? Blackness...blue krogan in air...ceiling falling...Garrus...nothing._

“Geh-” Riela said, her voice coming out as a raspy croak. Her throat was so dry, but she tried again. “Vakarian,” she said in a whisper. And then she added, “Water.” 

Her eyes were clear enough now that she could see the little smile on Dr. Chakwas' face as she raised the bed to something closer to a sitting position, and handed her a small cup of water. Riela tried to lift her left arm to take it, as she normally would have, but incredible amounts of pain lanced up the limb before she could get it more than an inch off the bed. She sucked in her breath sharply, which caused her to cough. Her chest, which already hurt so badly it was hard to ignore, felt like it was shredding to pieces around her with each spasm. She tried to stop, but the pain was so unbelievably distracting that she couldn't concentrate long enough to control herself. When it had finally passed on its own, she lay panting in tiny gasps, unnoticed tears trailing down her cheeks. 

She gritted her teeth, and reached for the cup with her right hand instead. She managed a shaky grip, and got most of it to her mouth and down her parched throat. She handed the cup back to Dr. Chakwas, who looked concerned, but did nothing more than take it, refill it, and place it back on the tray beside the bed. Riela felt a tickle on her chin and reached up with her _right_ hand- she'd learned her lesson well -and wiped off the tear hanging there. She wiped her cheeks with her fingertips before trying to communicate again. 

Her voice worked better this time, although it was still quiet. For someone who was not a Commander, it might even have been said to be fragile. “I'd like to speak to Vakarian, please.” 

One of Dr. Chakwas' well-groomed grey eyebrows arched before she answered, “You don't want to know the extent of your injuries first?” 

“Oh, I think I can tell the extent of my injuries. Did you want to give me the details so I can feel even more foolish for my actions that earned them? Please do. It's a justified punishment, I think.” Riela gave a wry grin to go along with her words. 

“Your sense of humor was not broken, neither your sense of integrity. However, seven ribs on your left side were -fairly shattered-, along with your left distal radius, left humerus, and your left clavicle. Your left shoulder was dislocated, your left lung was punctured -only once miraculously-, you have mild lateral wedging of your mid-thoracic vertebrae, and four ribs on your right were cracked,” Dr. Chakwas said, pointing to each place as she listed them. 

“Consider me thoroughly chastened,” Riela said, a little taken aback by the extent of the damage. 

“We placed bone and muscle weaves where we could, repaired some of the damage manually, and pumped you full of medi-gel. You may have pain medication as needed. Your recovery will be long and painful. Even with the cybernetics helping, do not expect to get out of this bed except to relieve yourself for _at least_ two weeks. The weaves help some people heal faster than others, so I will reevaluate you then, and not before. Do I make myself clear?” 

“Yes, ma'am,” Riela said, full of consternation. For now, she would follow doctor's orders without a single argument. However, two weeks was a long time to stare at the same walls with none of her regular duties to keep her occupied. “May I have visitors, though? I promise I won't try to get up or do anything forbidden.” 

Dr. Chakwas sighed. “I don't see why not. You've been sleeping long enough for now. You wanted to see Mr. Vakarian?” 

“Yes. I have some questions about our last mission. Could you contact him for me?” 

“Very well,” said Dr. Chakwas. She turned and walked to her desk, activating the intercom located there. “Mr. Vakarian, please report to the medbay.” 

“On my way,” came the immediate reply. At the sound of his strange and exquisite voice, Riela realized suddenly that she was practically naked under the blanket. She tried to hastily pull it up higher under her armpits, but it was difficult to do using only her off hand and trying not to jar her injuries too much. Dr. Chakwas saw the struggle for what it was, and came over to help. The women shared a conspiratorial smile, but Riela was sufficiently covered by the time Garrus walked in through the door. 

He greeted Dr. Chakwas first since she was standing nearest the door, but when he saw that Shepard was awake, her heart beating fast but strong and steady, he moved over to the left side of her bed, and took a moment to examine her. Her black hair was down around her face and shoulders, loose and moving instead of tight in that twisty ball on the back of her head she always had it in. It was longer than he'd expected, and she looked different this way; softer, gentler, more warm and open. Her eyes were clear and focused, but her skin was paler than normal, probably due to blood loss. 

Before he could more than murmur, “Shepard,” she was already telling him to sit down on her right side. 

“My left side's in not such good shape right now, and I can't keep my head at that angle, besides the fact that I can barely see your face way up there,” she smirked at him. He flared his mandibles in return, and sat down in the chair that Dr. Chakwas had considerately provided. Before she could lose her nerve in his eyes, Shepard said, “I think you won that last round, no matter how many more enemies I killed. Thank you for saving my life.” 

“You're welcome,” he said somberly. He wanted to tell her how much her living meant to him, but he couldn't bring himself to admit to such a quintessence that he'd only just realized for himself hours before. For the first time, he dropped her gaze and looked away before she did. 

“I guess you'd use any advantage to come out ahead,” she snarked, repeating their earlier quips and breaking the serious moment. Garrus snorted and shook his head before meeting her eyes again. 

At her grin, he grinned back and said, “Well, when you're the best, you have to look out for the lesser team mates.” 

Shepard huffed indignantly, but her eyes sparkled. “You're just lucky that I'm letting our kill count slide this time, or you'd realize that you're the 'lesser team mate'.” 

“Whatever you say, Shepard,” he answered warmly, letting the mock argument go. 

“That's what I thought,” she said with feigned superiority. She continued, changing the subject. “What happened on Therum? Catch me up. I want to make sure I remember everything.” 

“I was under cover, trying to take out that krogan when I heard some shots nearby. I didn't turn to look, knowing that he might have taken the opportunity to storm me. I heard Kaidan yell your name, more gunfire, and then I took a shot from my left, which didn't get through my shields. I turned to look, and it was a geth. I fired on it until it dropped, and when I turned back to where the krogan had been, he was gone. I turned to find him, and I saw him charge you and pin you to the ground. He got up and tried to rush Kaidan and Liara, but I shot at him and drew his attention. While he came after me, Liara put up her own Barrier, and Kaidan and I took on the krogan together. When he got close enough, Kaidan used his biotics to hold him in the air, and we took him out. Then the ground shook and parts of the ceiling came down.” 

Here, Garrus paused in his narration. His mandibles clicked and pulled tight against his face as he looked away from her and down at his hands, his subvocals thrumming low and steady. “I ran towards you, my visor telling me you were still alive, but I didn't really believe it. A krogan crushed you, Shepard. You were lying on your stomach, and I rolled you over slowly to see if what my visor said was true. You were such a mess, I had to take off your helmet to see... When I did, you blinked your eyes, and I knew without a doubt that you had survived. I told you that we were going to get you out of there, and you said my name. I assume you recognized me.” At her nod, he continued. “I tried to pick you up as carefully as I could, but you passed out before I made it to my feet. Kaidan was trying to get Liara, but she was in shock and wouldn't move faster than a dazed stumble. The shaft was becoming seriously dangerous with the tremors, so he just picked her up like I was holding you, and we ran out of there as fast as we could. Joker rendezvoused with us right after that, and I brought you here.” 

“So,” she asked after a moment, “how long have I been out?” 

“The surgery took eight hours, and then you've been asleep about six more. So, fourteen hours total,” he answered. 

Shepard nodded, deep in thought, when her stomach growled loudly. She looked at Garrus chagrined, then said, “I guess I woke up just in time for breakfast, then.” 

“Actually, you missed breakfast. It's 0840. But I could go get something from the mess for you. There's no one making food, but I could probably find you something marginally edible.” 

“That would be much appreciated. Dr. Chakwas, what am I allowed to eat?” 

“I know your stomach wasn't injured, but even with that I think you should take it slowly. Eat some broth or soup, and bread or crackers. We'll see how that settles, and go from there,” the doctor answered from her desk. 

The two women looked expectantly at Garrus, and he stood with minimal noise from his armour. “Soup, and bread or crackers,” he said with a nod. “I'll be right back.” 

Shepard watched him go, a mix of awkward helplessness and unsettled warmth swirling together in her belly. _It's never going to happen,_ she reminded her self sadly. She could see him rummaging around in the cabinets and fridge through the medbay windows. She watched him, observing his lithe movements, his predatory grace. She'd never had the opportunity to notice the animalistic tendencies that still permeated his species from an earlier era of evolution. It was fascinating. She knew that turians could be dangerous; their large size coupled with their speed, their sickle nails, their razor teeth, their hard skin. What other formidable features did they possess? 

“What's gotten your attention, Shepard?” asked Dr. Chakwas slyly. 

Shepard started, glanced at the doctor, then redirected her gaze in an obviously different direction. “Nothing,” she said. She barely suppressed a dejected sigh. _It's never going to happen, Riela._ She forced a tight little smile, and resumed as if she hadn't paused, “I was just wondering about the predatory characteristics turians have. I haven't had a chance to do any research on the extranet yet.” She snorted at her situation. “I guess I'll have plenty of time to do that now.” 

Dr. Chakwas sighed in empathy. “Yes, that you will, dear.” 

Garrus came back a few minutes later, carrying a tray laden with steaming soup and a couple slices of bread. Shepard was having a hard time deciding how big a smile was appropriate to give a helpful _non-romantic_ crew mate in this circumstance. Giving the dilemma up as a lost cause, she just smiled as large as her gratitude, and said, “Thanks.” Let him think she was on medication or had suffered a head injury, if it was too wide for him. But if he did think anything was amiss, he didn't show it. He just sat the tray on the little table next to her bed, moving the cup of water momentarily out of the way before setting it on the tray as well. 

Garrus stood there awkwardly for a moment, unsure whether he should sit down again or leave. Dr. Chakwas continued working on her terminal, and Shepard slowly pulled the table over the bed and her legs so she could eat, keeping the blanket tightly tucked around her. He watched her fumble with a piece of bread, and as it was halfway to her mouth, it stopped moving. 

“How long exactly are you planning on hovering over me before you sit back down?” she asked him pointedly. 

“Oh, only until you admit that's the best soup you've ever had from a turian,” he said, putting his weight on his back foot and crossing his arms. 

“This is the best soup I've ever had from a turian,” she said purposely monotone. She took a bite from her bread and raised an eyebrow over it at him, her eyes sparkling in amusement. He sat, his mandibles wide in an easy smile. “Of course, I'd say that even if it was the worst soup I'd ever had, since a turian has never made me soup before.” 

“Well, this soup can't be that bad. all I did was heat it up.” 

“In that case, can we even say that you made it? I think not. You'll have to try harder next time, Vakarian,” she said, mock condescendingly. “But really, thanks for helping me out. I'm not used to being so...incapable.” Shepard said this as she tried to pick up her spoon. As she grappled with the utensil, it twitched out of her fingers and fell off the tray. Before it could hit the floor, he caught it in midair, and proffered it back to her. “Point proven,” she said, as she took it from him. 

“Using your off hand must be difficult,” he said, noting her struggle. 

“I'm beginning to see just how much it's going to be,” she agreed. “On the other hand, it will give me the opportunity to become more proficient with this one.” She managed to get a spoonful to her mouth. 

“You do like to play with words, don't you? It says something of your jokes' low quality that they even survive through the translators.” 

“I disagree. It shows that they're high quality. No one gets excluded, and everyone understands. You know, it was my mastery of translatable language that landed me this Spectre gig in the first place,” Shepard said in a lofty tone, as she slowly scooped up more soup. 

“Gig? What does- nevermind. That's not true anyway, Shepard. I was there.” 

“Oh?” she asked, arching an eyebrow, the spoon poised in front of her mouth. “Then why was I made a Spectre?” 

“You convinced them that a small force led by someone who knew vital information was the best way to stop Saren,” Garrus said matter-of-factly. 

“And how did I convince them? Could it have possibly been with words I spoke that were translated into their own language?” Her eyes twinkled as she took her delayed bite of soup. Garrus shook his head and chuckled openly. 

Shepard ate the rest of her food in quiet, smug satisfaction, while he kept her company. They chatted amiably a little longer afterward until Shepard's eyelids began to droop. Garrus recognized the necessity of healing sleep, and excused himself from the medbay. He went off to work on the Mako for a little while before lunch, more relaxed and at ease than he'd been since joining the Normandy. His mandibles were flared slightly in a way that he just couldn't stop, and his subharmonics flanged up and down the higher registers, indicating contented peacefulness. 

–-------------------

The next time Shepard awoke, it was nearing dinnertime. She felt much more like herself, and her injuries didn't hurt as much as they had that morning. Those bone weaves and cybernetics were working more quickly than even she had expected. She tested her arm gingerly, and if she moved it very slowly, the pain was almost bearable. Her breathing was a little easier, but not much. What really bothered her though, was the lack of clothing. 

“Dr. Chakwas, is there anything I can wear? I'd like to have a meeting with my whole ground team and XO Pressley, but I'd prefer to be covered in more than a blanket.” 

“Unfortunately, all we have supplied in the medical bay are those horrible gowns with the open back. If you have something that zips or buttons up the front, I think together we could manage that,” the doctor answered, after swiveling her chair to face Shepard. 

“I have an N7 hoodie that zips with matching sweatpants hanging in my closet. They're for workouts, but I think that it will be alright in my circumstance. They look vaguely like a military uniform, so that will help me look more professional. Since I'll be in bed anyway, I'll take all the help I can get.” She grimaced at the image of a commander issuing orders from a sickbed. 

“I'll go get those for you, and then we'll see about making you presentable.” Dr. Chakwas left, and returned shortly with the clothing over one arm. She also had Shepard's caddy from her bathroom with her toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, hair ties, and makeup inside. Shepard smiled gratefully, and pulled the blanket off. She carefully inched her legs around to hang off the edge of the bed, where Dr. Chakwas knelt and held out the pants. When they got up to her thighs, Shepard had to scoot back around to lie down and lift her hips up so they could be pulled up the rest of the way. She was breathing a little heavily from the strain it put on her ribcage, but was no worse for the wear. 

The hoodie was much easier to get on. Dr. Chakwas slid it on Shepard's left arm without it having to bend, and then brought it around her back so she could put her right arm through. It was zipped and done in no time. Shepard attempted to brush her own hair, but lifting her right arm put too much stress on her collarbone, so Dr. Chakwas had to do it for her. They opted for a single braid coming from the nape of her neck, which would be reasonably comfortable to lay on, and still be pulled back in a way that almost conformed to regulations. 

After her hair was done, Shepard brushed her teeth in bed with one empty cup and one cup of water. It went reasonably well without a sink. Then she eyed the makeup dubiously. She wore it on occasion, and with her atypically pale skin, it could be useful in making her look more able than she really was. She reached for her foundation compact, and struggled for a minute to open it one-handed. It popped open and spilled only a little powder on the table over the bed. Shepard fiddled with it for a moment to get the mirror at the right angle while it sat in front of her, and then picked up the flat puff used for application. She slowly spread the tawny dust over her face, watching her attempt in the small mirror. The cosmetic was forgiving of mistakes, and did improve Shepard's pallor. 

She considered the eyeliner briefly and dismissed it as impossible with only her right hand available. She chose a sheer lipstick that would add a little colour without being noticeable, and she only had to wipe off her inaccuracies three times. Shepard decided she looked good enough, and put everything away before settling back into bed. She pulled the blanket up to her lap, it was always a little chilly in the medbay, and waited for Dr. Chakwas to hide her toiletries. When that was completed, the doctor turned on the intercom and nodded to Shepard to let her know it was ready for her announcement. 

“Attention, Normandy crew. This is Commander Shepard speaking. I would like XO Pressley, the entire ground team, and Dr. Liara T'Soni to please report to the medbay for a briefing immediately. That will be all, Shepard out.” Her voice came out reasonably strong, and Shepard was pleased with the result. 

She tugged her jacket down and ran her hand over her hair one last time, a twinge of nervousness at her situation. In a few minutes, everyone had squeezed in, while Dr. Chakwas excused herself to the mess. Shepard studied their faces one by one, and was pleased to see not condescension or pity, but pride directed her way. She lingered on each of them, giving a personalized smile or nod, which was reciprocated and eased the tension further. 

She went to take a deep breath, stopped herself at the last moment, and began. “Dr. Chakwas has informed me that I will be off duty for at least two weeks. I sincerely hope it will not be longer than that. Now, I know the rest of you would love to join me on my leave, but that's just not an option. We barely stopped Saren in time on Therum, and he's not going to be taking a vacation after losing the potentially valuable resource of Dr. T'Soni. 

“We have two places left to investigate; Feros and Noveria. I want us to head to Feros first, as it's a human colony world built on Prothean ruins. Geth activity has been sighted, and we need to hurry to protect the civilians. It will take a while for us to get there from here. I assume we're still near Therum?” Shepard directed this question at Pressley, who answered in the affirmative. “Fine. I would like to be active for that mission and lead the ground team as usual, but we'll have to wait and see. Meanwhile, I will remain in charge of this vessel, and all decisions that are to be made on it. My body was broken, not my brain. 

“There are plenty of other requests I have received, both from the Alliance and from individuals, that need taken care of planet-side between here and Feros. I am hereby putting Vakarian in charge of leading away missions. How these missions are handled, who accompanies him, and the orders they take are in his control. _But,_ I expect him to make the choices I would make, to the best of his ability. Is that understood, soldier?” She barked this last as harshly as she could at Garrus, in hopes of reaching his innate sense of duty, and reminding him of the last time she'd done that in Dr. Michel's office. 

She could tell it worked by the way he stood up straighter and answered, “Yes, Commander!” 

She narrowed her eyes and smiled grimly, nodding once at his acquiescence. “Good. Are there any questions so far?” In the silence, Shepard looked around, judging the expressions of those gathered. Garrus looked stunned, Liara confused, Tali and Pressley resigned, Wrex and Ashley aggravated, and Kaidan looked like a mix of guilt and rage when he met her eyes. _I'll have to talk to him privately after this meeting,_ she thought. _I don't think that has anything to do with what I've said so far._

“Alright then, moving on. Dr. T'Soni, I mentioned back on the planet that I'd have some questions for you.” Shepard focused her gaze on the archeologist. 

“Yes, I remember,” Liara answered in her sweet, gentle voice. 

“My first is, how are you holding up? I heard you didn't take the fighting so well.” 

Liara's blue skin deepened in colour as she responded. “Thank you for your concern, Commander. It is true that the situation took me by surprise, but I am fine now, thanks to the Lieutenant.” She motioned her hand towards Kaidan, and Shepard followed with her eyes to meet his gaze again. The guilt there was more visible now, but he said nothing. 

“You can call me Shepard, Dr. T'Soni. I'm a little unusual in my preference for informality that way.” 

“Alright, Shepard. Please, call me Liara. All of you, call me Liara.” 

Shepard smiled warmly at the asari before continuing. “Liara, I know you are mainly an archeologist, and the knowledge you have on the Protheans will be useful to us. But are you willing to be part of the ground team; wear armour, train in firearms, use your biotics offensively?” 

“I owe you and your team my life, not once because of the volcanic eruption, but twice because of the people Saren sent after me. I want to be of use to you, and I want to be able to defend myself. I am already trained in my biotics, but not in weapons and warfare. I greatly desire the ability to stay active during a fight. I never want to endanger anyone's life again due to my inaction.” Liara looked nervous, but firm in her resolve. Shepard was sure she had a backbone of steel that just needed a little tempering. 

“In that case, Kaidan or Wrex will be available for any questions you might have relating to biotics, and Ashley will be in charge of your weapons and armour training. I only want you to focus on pistols for now; I'm sure your biotics are a much more powerful weapon. Vakarian will discuss with them to decide when you are ready to join a mission.” At her nod, she went on. “Do you have a permanent place to sleep yet? I know other species sometimes prefer their privacy away from humans, and if this is the case, I'm sure we can find somewhere for you.” 

“No, Shepard. I have been borrowing unused bunks in the crew quarters to recover from my ordeal. It is...uncomfortable.” 

“That's alright. There's actually a small storage room here attached to the medbay, and I think there's enough space for a cot and some personal effects. No one else has claimed it or has need of it, so if it fits your requirements, it's all yours. Well, yours and the crates,” she amended with a smile. 

“Thank you. I'm sure it will suit my needs quite well,” Liara said, looking more relaxed and almost cheerful. 

“You're welcome. 'A happy crew is a dependable crew,' my parents always said. So, you were saying before that you didn't know anything about the Conduit Saren is after?” 

“No, I've never come across anything like that mentioned before. It's very difficult to discover any kind of information like that about the Protheans. It's like someone came along after the Protheans were gone and cleansed the galaxy of clues. But here is the incredible part. According to my findings, the Protheans were not the first galactic civilization to mysteriously vanish. This cycle began long before them,” Liara said, animatedly. 

“What do you mean by 'cycle'?” asked Tali. 

“The galaxy is built on a cycle of extinction,” she answered quickly, the light of discovery bright in her eyes. “Each time a great civilization rises up, it is suddenly and violently cast down. Only ruins survive. The Protheans rose up from a single world until their empire spanned the entire galaxy. Yet even they climbed to the top on the remains of those who came before. Their greatest achievements – the mass relays and the Citadel – are based on the technology of those who came before them. And then, like all the other forgotten civilizations throughout galactic history, the Protheans disappeared. I have dedicated my life to figuring out why.” 

Shepard tried to take a deep breath, winced, and said, “I think I know why. I'm almost certain an advanced mechanical race known as the Reapers destroyed the Protheans and then obscured their existence.” 

“The– The Reapers? But I have never heard of– How do you know this? What evidence do you have?” Liara looked both confused and perturbed. “I have been studying the Protheans and their ruins for fifty years, and I have never heard of such a race.” 

“Fifty years? Damn, I hope I look that good when I'm your age!” interjected Ashley. 

“Yes, I can see how that would seem like a long time to a short-lived species like yours. However, asari can live for millenia. At 106, I am barely past my childhood. But we digress. Shepard, what were you saying about your substantiation?” 

Shepard paused briefly before speaking. She'd been trying her best to avoid thinking about the confused visions and terrifying nightmares she'd been having until she could learn more. It looked like her reprieve was over and this was her opportunity for insight. “There was a damaged Prothean beacon on Eden Prime. I accidentally got too close, and it burned a vision into my brain, then shattered.” 

“Visions? Yes... that makes sense. The beacons were designed to transmit information directly into the mind of the user. Finding one that still works is extremely rare. No wonder the geth attacked Eden Prime. The chance to acquire a working beacon –even a badly damaged one– is worth almost any risk. But the beacons were only programmed to interact with Prothean physiology. Whatever information you received would have been confused, unclear. I am amazed you were able to make sense of it at all. A lesser mind would have been utterly destroyed by the process. You must be remarkably strong-willed, Shepard.” Liara looked at her with a sense of awe, and Shepard supposed that was more desirable than jealousy. 

“This isn't helping us find Saren, or the Conduit,” Kaidan cut in harshly. 

Before Shepard could reprimand him, Liara was apologizing. “Of course. You are right. I am sorry. My scientific curiosity got the better of me. Unfortunately, I do not have any information that could help you find the Conduit. Or Saren.” 

“That's alright, Liara. Your vast store of knowledge will come in handy in the future, I'm sure. Welcome aboard,” Shepard said with a warm smile. 

“Thank you, Shepard. Saren might come after me again, and I cannot think of anywhere safer than here on your ship, even without the training you have offered me. Wait! That reminds me!” Liara exclaimed, practically interrupting herself. “How did Saren even know about me?” 

Shepard cleared her throat discontentedly. “We have evidence indicating that your mother, Matriarch Benezia, is working with Saren. It's likely that she told him of your Prothean expertise.” 

“My mother? But why would she– We have not spoken in many years. We do not always agree on courses of action, but I can't believe that she is helping to bring about the destruction of all civilization as we know it! There must be another explanation!” Liara's eyes were wide with disbelieving fear. 

“And there very well could be,” soothed Shepard. “I'll admit that we have not seen her with our own eyes, and the only evidence we have is an auditory segment of Saren and her saying one sentence each. It's perfectly acceptable to me to reserve judgment until we know more.” 

“Thank you, Shepard. If you'll excuse me, I need some time alone to process all this information.” 

“That's understandable. I'll be staying right next door for the next few weeks, if you need someone to talk to,” she said, her eyes full of sympathy. Liara just nodded, and let herself into the storage room at the back of the medbay. 

Shepard turned her eyes to the rest of her crew. “If there is nothing else to discuss, everyone is dismissed except Kaidan. I haven't had a chance to go over the mission on Therum with him yet.” 

The team filed out, delivering a few murmurs of well-wishes to her as they left. Kaidan stood still in the meantime, rooted to his spot, eyes down, his tightly balled fists and immobile body lines belying a barely contained anger. Shepard didn't know what was causing it, but she hoped it wasn't her. When the room was empty and quiet, she spoke his name softly. His head shot up and his eyes locked on hers, and she jerked her head to motion him closer. He stalked over to stand next to her bed, his mouth still clamped shut. 

“Please, sit down,” she said as she gestured to the nearby chair. He did so stiffly, and did not avoid her gaze. She'd been right about the rage and guilt warring inside him. They stared at each other for a long moment, Shepard waiting for Kaidan to speak, and Kaidan refusing to do so. Like all conversations before, she had to be the one to make the first move. “I said I wanted to go over the last mission with you, but really, I could tell something was wrong, and I'm worried. I told you before that I'm here to talk to, and I'd hoped that after all our months serving together you'd trust me enough to take my loyalty to my team and my reticence seriously.” 

Kaidan flushed, and looked away. Shepard said nothing more for a moment, watching his hands clench and unclench in his lap. Now that she'd nudged him, it wouldn't be long before– 

“What am I supposed to say, Shepard? There's so much going on inside me, I don't even know where to start! I can't believe you nearly died in front of me! I can't believe I didn't do anything to stop it! I can't believe I was wasting my time protecting a scientist instead of you, the first human Spectre! The only one who knows the truth about Saren with any power at all to stop him! What would have happened if you had died? What difference would knowledge about ancient Prothean technology make then?” 

He rose abruptly, knocking the chair over in his haste. He ignored it for a moment, pacing back and forth while running a hand through his dark curly hair, completely ruining its normal slicked back style. Shepard detachedly noticed that it looked better with the curls freed rather than tamed. She found herself wanting to run her fingers through it; she'd never really touched curly hair. 

She cleared her mind and focused. She waited patiently, knowing he was trying to get himself under better control before continuing. Sure enough, he soon stopped pacing, took a deep breath, and walked back to his overturned chair. He righted it and sat back down, leaning over with his elbows propped on his knees, his hands clasped, and met her eyes. “Shepard, I failed you, and not for the first time has my lapse almost caused your death.” 

“Kaidan, nothing you have done has almost caused my death. What happened on Eden Prime wasn't your fault. In fact, because of that beacon, we have a much better idea of what we're up against and what Saren is doing. Without that information, we'd be flying around blindly out here, with no idea what we're going to have to deal with. If you want to insist that it was your fault, then I say thank you for providing me key intel that could help save the galaxy. I would go to any lengths for that goal, including Prothean-induced nightmares, and would you stop me or blame me? No, because I know you'd do the same. It's our job to protect civilians, and this mission is one of the highest callings of that that I've ever seen. 

“And Therum was my own stupid fault. I didn't get to cover when my shields went down to allow them to recharge. Instead, I stood out in the open, not even a wall to my back, spinning around in circles. I got cocky, and I paid the price. You, however, were following my orders perfectly, living up to that Alliance badge on your shoulder. I failed mine that day. I can also admit that I was unprepared for that battle. I've never faced a krogan one-on-one. As soon as I'm healed, I will rectify that shortcoming by asking for personal training from Wrex.” 

Kaidan watched her face through the whole explanation, feeling the sincerity in her words. It helped some, but did not entirely eliminate his guilt. The root was too deeply buried in his past. Somehow, he knew Shepard could see into his soul and perceive that something more was causing this reaction. 

“What is it, Kaidan?” she asked softly, reaching her hand out to place it on his shoulder. “You can trust me. Whatever it is, I won't judge you or say anything to anyone. Please, know that.” The unconcealed concern in her eyes was what finally broke down the wall he'd built around Rahna, Vyrnnus, and himself. 

“You know the records on BAaT, they're all classified,” he began, and she pulled her hand back to lay it on the bed. “Because the Alliance made mistakes. After First Contact, Conatix was set up to track element zero exposures and develop implants for humans. Once humans had an embassy on the Citadel, Conatix could bring in experts instead of taking it slow.” 

“The only experts would have to be the other species,” she said to keep the confession flowing. 

“Dead on. Turians, actually. That's why Conatix kept it a secret. They were afraid what people back home would think, asking the turians for help when we just fought a war with them. The asari would have been more acceptable, but the company didn't go through the Citadel. It would have made Earth look weak. So they discretely hired some turian mercenaries.” 

“I'm sure Conatix did what they thought was best,” Shepard said soothingly. 

Kaidan shook his head, sitting back and looking away. “It wasn't best for us. They brought in an ex-military turian named Commander Vyrnnus. To introduce himself he liked to say, 'I was at the helm of the dreadnought that killed your father.' When I told him my dad wasn't in the war, that he'd retired to Vancouver and his family had an inland home that matured to new beachfront, Vyrnnus had it in for me after that. He cut corners, pushed hard. I mean, you either came out a superman or a wreck. A lot of kids snapped. A few died.” 

He stopped talking for a moment, and sighed before meeting her eyes again. “One day, we were all practicing with our biotics. We'd been pushed to our limits, past them, shaking, puking, trying not to pass out. Rahna reached for a glass of water with her hand, not her biotics. She just wanted to get a drink without getting a nosebleed, you know? He broke her arm, and like an idiot, I stood up. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I had to do something. And Vyrnnus lost it. He beat the crap out of me, kept shouting how they should have bombed us back to the stone age. And that's when he pulled a knife on me, a military issue Talon, right in my face.” 

He paused, looking at his hands, preparing himself for the culmination of his narrative. “I lost control. I gave him a full biotic kick right in the teeth. I killed him, Shepard. I snapped his neck. But even with that, I didn't stop him from hurting Rahna. I could have done something sooner, but I didn't. I just stood by and watched it happen. And Rahna...her arm healed, but she never talked to me again. I failed her, and my actions helped break her spirit. Shepard, with you...” he looked up into her fathomless emerald eyes. “I feel like I'm in the same position again, especially when you were fighting that krogan. It's my responsibility to make sure you come out alive, and I feel like one of these days I really will fail you. You'll die, and if I'd only been there or not hesitated at the crucial moment, you would have lived.” His brows furrowed at the image that brought to mind, and winced in pain, then ground his teeth in determination. 

“Kaidan,” Shepard said, interrupting his internal torture. “Kaidan,” she said again, more gently than before, placing her hand back on his shoulder in comfort. He looked up at her, and for a moment, his tumultuous insides stopped heaving. “Thank you for caring so deeply about me. It's a great comfort to know that you're on my team trying to watch out for me. That's what teams are all about.” She smiled at him, a warm and affectionate one he'd never seen before. His breath caught in his chest, and he was losing himself in that smile, in those eyes. 

Her next words broke the spell, even though they were spoken with the same kind and gentle voice. “This is a team, though, and we're all roughly equal in our abilities. I'm not a lady who needs rescued like in those stories you used to read, or like Rahna, Kaidan. I can get myself into trouble, and I can usually get myself back out again. We should all work together to support one another, not one person carrying all the weight and burdens of everyone else. I need your care, and at times I will need your protection, but you'll need mine too, sometimes. This can't be one-sided, Kaidan. Nothing works one-sided.” 

He swallowed painfully and nodded, unsure of what to say. He was too confused by all the conflicting emotions churning inside. He'd need time to work through it all, to figure out exactly what she meant. He stood up, her hand sliding reluctantly off his shoulder to drop onto the bed. “I'll talk to you later, Shepard. I'm sure you need your rest.” 

“Bye, Kaidan,” Shepard said sadly, as he quietly left the medbay.


	9. Alliance Space

Garrus sat at a mess table, waiting in quiet stunned silence for dinner to be prepared. He was facing the medbay, and watched while Shepard and Kaidan talked. He couldn't hear what they were saying, due not to the distance, but to the soundproof plastic of the windows and the walls. His vision sharpened to battle focus when Kaidan knocked his chair over in anger and began pacing, but he maintained his calm facade after studying Shepard's face. If she wasn't worried at the outburst, than neither would he be. 

_That must be a really bad case of survivor's guilt, if it's causing this kind of reaction when she didn't even die,_ he thought to himself. He watched the human male, trying to perceive the hard-wired subconscious routines that exposed themselves through such conduct. Even though he had worked with humans on the Citadel, he'd never really grown close to any, and never saw a reason to study their behaviour among their own kind. 

He'd heard of humans believing themselves to be lesser or greater than others depending on their gender, but Garrus had assumed the fact that Shepard was ranked, both in the military and on this vessel, higher than any other human would negate that. _Is that what this is? Humans are so strange,_ he thought, as he watched Kaidan regain his seat and resumed talking in a subdued manner. He wondered why sentient beings didn't come with manuals like weapons and equipment did. _Everything would be so much easier that way._ After a few minutes, Kaidan got up and left the medbay. He shuffled out, looking at the floor in front of his feet as he made his way around the far side of the mess to the crew quarters. 

Garrus wanted to talk to Shepard about his new...posting? ...promotion? ...responsibilities, but before he could rise, Ashley made her way in to see Shepard. That was alright, she hadn't had a chance yet to talk to the Commander since the mission. Garrus settled back, his arms folded over his chest, and watched this new exchange with concealed interest. 

Ashley stood rigidly behind the vacant chair, clenching the backrest in her hands for a few moments before finally relenting and sitting down. To Garrus, she seemed uncomfortable, maybe nervous. He allowed his subharmonics to purr in an intrigued, fascinated tone while he used the opportunity to maintain his C-Sec training. As he watched, Ashley gestured with one outflung arm towards him, and both women turned their heads to regard him, their expressions unreadable, and then turned back to face each other. _I'll bet whatever they're saying right now is very interesting. Complaining about turians, Ashley? Don't want to take orders from one? Shepard would probably agree with you, except for the fact that she keeps all her personal feelings on that subject private, and she just admitted to me that I saved her life. I don't know if she would agree with you anymore._ Garrus smirked to himself. 

Ashley stood up stiffly and left, Shepard watching her retreating back before meeting Garrus' eyes through the window. Her face remained unfathomable while Garrus made to stand. But just as he placed his hands on the table to rise, Liara crept into the medbay from the storage room she had been hiding in. Garrus relaxed back down into his seat, releasing a sigh as Shepard turned to her newest crew member. 

Liara sat gingerly on the edge of the chair, her hands cautiously on her knees. As Garrus watched them converse, Shepard's face was soft and open to the asari, which had the intended effect of putting the scientist at ease. _How does she always know how to act in the right way towards whoever it is she has to deal with? Do human commanders get manuals on Interactions, or is it just her? I'll figure her out eventually._

While Garrus was contemplating again the puzzle of Shepard, his view was suddenly blocked by a human sitting down across from him. He quickly refocused his gaze on the woman with pale green eyes and grey hair. “Mr. Vakarian,” she said in her warm, oddly accented voice. 

“Dr. Chakwas,” he responded amiably. 

“What's gotten your attention? You seem awfully focused on something,” she asked, a strange smile on her lips and a stranger glitter in her eyes. 

Garrus' mandibles fluttered, momentarily at a loss for words. “I was just noticing how well Shepard handles all her personnel. Tell me, is it just a human commander thing, or is it a Shepard thing?” 

“Oh, it's a Shepard thing. I've only been serving with her for a few months now, but she is quite remarkable in her ability to smooth over misunderstandings, as well as having soldiers willing to do anything she asks. Which usually isn't much above what they should already be doing, granted, but I can tell that if she asked for extraordinary performances, she'd get extraordinary results. That skill is quite rare in any leader I've ever had or heard about. But what about turians? Does the same hold true among your kind?” 

Garrus leaned back in his chair, contemplating all the leaders he'd ever had or studied at the academy. “Among turians,” he answered slowly, “the opportunities are different because subordinates don't question their commanders, and generally don't discuss their problems with them. We have specific members of our troops to deal with personnel and interpersonal relationships who are not our superiors. We do what we're ordered to do because we're ordered to do it. There is an aspect of wanting to please those over us, but it's not our drive. We know that our actions will affect the greater good, and that is our drive.” 

“I see. Humans are... much more individually minded. Most of us find joining the military to be abhorrent. Humans generally don't like to be controlled. We don't care much for being told what to do or how to perform every little task, and we especially don't like being just a face in the crowd. The military is the place where everyone has to look the same, act the same, be the same. The ones who do join understand the necessity of it, and they have some driving reason that negates all these aspects. They want to help, they want to make changes to better the future, they want honour and prestige. But on a personal level, they still want to be seen as individuals. They want their commanders to recognize them and their efforts. They want to be commended for their achievements, and usually are willing to take punishments for their failures. Shepard knows all this, and focuses much time on keeping the crew satisfied so they perform well. I think at this point, she's been doing it so long that it's just second nature to her; she does it without even realizing. But it's more than just getting results for her. She genuinely cares about her subordinates.” 

“I see,” Garrus answered softly, his mind racing down new paths with all this added information. While he was still lost in thought, Dr. Chakwas excused herself to get her dinner. When Garrus looked up again, Tali was in with Shepard, and they were both eating together. Shepard's face broke into a wide grin as she laughed at something Tali was explaining with animated hand movements. _Somehow, I don't think I'll get my chance to talk to her tonight._ He gave it up as a lost cause, and went to get his own meal.

–---------

The next morning, Garrus checked with Joker to make sure the Normandy was well on its way to the mass relay. It was, so he spent the time before and during breakfast going over the multitude of missions Shepard had forwarded to his omni-tool. Most of them were automatically disregarded because they were too far away or in the wrong direction, but a few were along the route to Feros. 

He made his way up to the galaxy map to plot the next leg after the jump, which would bring them out at the edge of the Antaeus system in the Hades Gamma cluster. From there, they would make their way to the Farinata system where a Chairman Burns was being held hostage by human biotic terrorists on the MSV Ontario. It would take them around three Galactic Day cycles to get there. 

How would Admiral Hackett react to Alliance issues being resolved by an ex-C-Sec turian? How was his team going to respond to his orders? He really needed to talk to Shepard, but she had still been asleep when he'd passed by the medbay earlier. He twitched his mandibles in the turian expression of mild frustration, and headed back down to find Kaidan. He'd like to take the human biotic soldier on this upcoming mission to hopefully smooth over the situation. Honestly, it would probably be best to take both of the human members of the squad; he knew how negatively turians were viewed in human eyes. He suppressed a subharmonic surge at the thought of Ashley being too mulish to follow his directives in a timely manner. _Spirits, don't let her be so stubborn._

He found Kaidan at his station console, deeply focused on his task at hand. “Lieutenant,” Garrus said with a nod of his head. 

“Mr. Vakarian,” Kaidan answered, looking up. “Is there something I can do for you?” 

“Our next mission will involve extracting the Chairman of the Parliament Subcommittee of Transhuman Studies from a hostage situation. He's being held by a group of human biotics, and I wanted you along.” 

“I can see why. Chairman Burns? Yeah, he's been voting against reparations for L2 biotics, and it's making a lot of negative waves in the community. Just tell me when to suit up.” 

“We won't get there for another three day cycles, I just wanted to give you time to prepare.” 

“Well, thanks for the heads-up. I'll be ready. Who's our other member going to be?” Kaidan asked in a friendly tone. 

“I was wanting to take the Chief. I thought having two Alliance humans with me would make the situation less tense. You know, turians, humans, not always a good mix,” Garrus explained. 

“Good planning. If that's all, I should get back to work.” Kaidan jerked a thumb at the console. 

“That's all. I'll forward you the mission summary.” 

“Thanks,” Kaidan said, already tapping away at his keyboard. 

Garrus took the elevator down to the cargo bay, finding Ashley at the weapons bench, right where he expected her to be. What he wasn't expecting was the pile of familiar red and black armour in front of her, looking more like a scrap heap than anything else. “Spirits,” he said out loud, stepping up to examine the mess more closely. 

“I know I should have started cleaning this sooner, but I couldn't do it before I knew Shepard was going to be alright,” Ashley said, glancing up at Garrus before returning to the right vambrace. He noted that she was doing all the least damaged pieces first. 

“Well, she won't need it anytime soon,” he said, picking up the mangled left rerebrace. “And good thing, too. Should we just order her some new armour?” He turned the section over and saw the jagged line where the medics had to cut through to get it off her arm. 

“Probably some of it will need to be replaced, but I have time to try and fix it. We have plenty of omni-gel available, anyway.” 

Garrus sat the unnerving piece back down gingerly, and wrenched his mind back to what he had come down here for. “Chief, I have an away mission coming up in a few days, and I'd like for you to be on the team with Lieutenant Alenko. It's a hostage rescue mission, and I think the terrorists would respond better to us instead of me taking a group of mixed aliens aboard. They're human biotics.” 

Ashley opened her mouth to say something, changed her mind, and only said, “Aye, aye.” 

Garrus paused, causing an awkward silence, waiting to see if she would add anything else. When she kept scrubbing the armour instead, he continued, “I'll send you the briefing.” 

“Alright,” she nodded. “Thanks,” she added belatedly, looking up at him. 

“You're welcome,” Garrus said, widening his mandibles in what he hoped she took as a friendly smile. She didn't return it, but she didn't flinch either, so he considered it a win. “I'll see you around,” he finished, stepping back to head toward the elevator. 

“See you around,” she echoed faintly.

–--------------

Riela spent most of her time sleeping, which was both a blessing and a curse. Her time unconscious left her free from the pain, but it also cut into her time available for research. Members of the ship crew would come in to visit sporadically, whenever they could squeeze it into their schedules, and she was always glad for the company. The one crew member that visited the most, that kept showing up with her meals whenever she was just getting ready to ask Dr. Chakwas for some food, was Kaidan. Maybe it was just because his station was directly across from the medbay windows, but Riela was beginning to think it was for a more personal reason.

The morning after their intense conversation, he appeared, just as she was waking up, with fresh scrambled eggs and toast with a steaming mug of blessed hot coffee on the side, with cream and sugar already added just the way she liked it. She noticed belatedly that he had a similar tray for himself, with tea instead of coffee. 

“Kaidan, good morning. Thank you,” she said, pulling the table partially over her bed so they could both share it. 

“Good morning, and you're welcome, Shepard. I didn't think you'd be able to get your own breakfast, because, well, you know,” he said while sitting down the trays and pulling the chair closer to the table. “Did you sleep well?” he asked, scooping up a forkful of eggs. 

“I did, yes. Mostly dreamless for once, miraculously.” She took a sublime swallow of coffee before picking up her own fork with her right hand. 

“Are they bad dreams, then? The ones you usually have, I mean.” 

“Only lately, since Eden Prime. I wonder if it was just learning that the images in my head are supposed to be there now and that I'm not going crazy, or if it was just the meds Dr. Chakwas drugged me with last night that let me sleep.” 

“Probably a little of both, I'd think,” Kaidan said after thinking it over for a moment. 

Shepard snorted softly before agreeing, “Probably.” They fell into a comfortable silence as they concentrated on eating, which for her was a true undertaking. They chatted briefly after the meal, but then Kaidan had to attend to his duties. Shepard laid back, intending to start researching Feros, but she fell into a doze.

When Shepard next awoke, Kaidan promptly showed up with her lunch, which was a sandwich and juice. She raised an eyebrow at him, a smile twitching her mouth. “Are you going to be making a habit of this, Alenko?” 

The use of his last name with her 'commander voice' threw him off balance, and he stopped in his tracks, halfway across the medbay, “Is that a problem, uh, Commander?” 

Her smile broke free at his confusion. “No, I just wanted to know if I could start looking forward to my meals supplying something more than food.” 

Kaidan resumed his path across the room, his face tinging pink. “If that's alright with you, Shepard. I can make it a habit.” 

“I like company.” 

“I'll, uh, keep that in mind,” he said, smiling shyly at her over the table. 

She continued to smiled back and began eating her sandwich in the peaceful silence that Kaidan also enjoyed. After the food was gone, he talked a little about his childhood in Vancouver, while Shepard led the conversation with questions that gave nothing of herself. After he left, she managed to read up on the colony on Feros, and the local corporation that supplied most of the paying jobs before she fell asleep again.

The pattern continued over the next few days, Kaidan monopolizing all her meals with his quiet presence and snatches of conversation before and after. They gradually learned more about each other, although both were still guarded with their more deeply held secrets. At one dinner, Kaidan actually brought one of his personal items, a real paper book, that was very worn around the edges and down the spine. 

“I thought maybe you'd like to have something to help you pass the time. You know, when you're not sleeping.” He cleared his throat sheepishly. “It's one of my favourites. It was written before the discovery on Mars, so the method of space travel is completely unrealistic, but the characters and the storyline are...well, you'll just have to read it for yourself to understand. That is, if you want to,” he added quickly, pulling his hand back with the proffered gift. “If not, that's okay.” 

“I want to,” Shepard answered, reaching her hand out and plucking it from his grasping fingers. “Thanks, Kaidan, for sharing something so special to you with me. I never spent much time reading fiction, I was always so busy with other things. But I'm excited to try something new,” she said, a warm smile on her face that caused a reciprocating warmth in his chest. 

“Let me know what you think when you finish it. I have to go now. Bye, Shepard,” he said, rising. 

“See you later,” she said, her attention focused on the object in her lap. _A real book, not a data pad or a program for his omni-tool._ Curiously, she lifted it to her nose and sniffed it. It had a dry odor, but nice. She studied the cover, difficult to make out through the worn spots, but it appeared to have a man in a skin-tight spacesuit with a strange, sleek spaceship taking off in the background. Curiosity still controlling her actions, she opened it to the first page and began to read. She fell asleep hours later, her hand resting on the novel, holding it where she had unwittingly stopped. 

The next morning when she awoke, the book closed beside her on the table, Kaidan didn't appear. She waited a while before thinking to check her omni-tool, where the answer lay. Garrus had sent her a message about the mission. Kaidan, Ashley, and he had already left to board the MSV Ontario. She huffed out a sigh, and waited for Dr. Chakwas to return to the medbay so she could politely request some breakfast. 

She passed the time reading Kaidan's book, and by the time he returned around lunch, she'd finished it. After he sat down with their food, she held it out to him. He took it back hesitantly, saying, “I guess you didn't like it, then?” 

“No, I did like it. I finished it a little while ago.” 

“What? Already? I only gave it to you last night, Shepard,” he protested. 

“What can I say? I'm a fast reader. Plus, it was a really good book. I understand so much more about you, now.” 

“You do?” he asked, blushing. 

“I always knew you were a romantic, Kaidan, but now I know it thoroughly,” she teased. “Here, I know. I'll share something about me. It's not as interesting as a tangible book, but maybe you'll like it anyway.” 

“If it's about you, I'll like it,” he blurted, and then his face went very, very red. 

Shepard laughed gently, her eyes sparkling. “Well, that makes me feel less nervous. It's on my omni-tool, so I'll send it to yours on one condition. You can only open it after you leave the medbay, alright? And it's something I don't normally share with people, so keep it private, please? I guess that's two conditions. Do you accept anyway?” 

“Of course,” he answered seriously. 

She nodded once, then fiddled with her omni-tool for a minute. “There, all done. Don't make me regret this, Alenko,” she said with mock severity. 

“Never,” he replied. 

They ate their lunch in the usual familiar silence, and then Shepard fell asleep almost immediately. Kaidan made his way to the crew quarters to put his book back in his locker, his attention fully consumed by his omni-tool. Eagerness to see what it was she had sent him made him rush through his mission report and the rest of his duties, eking out a small pocket of free time before dinner. He wondered where he could go to be alone, and finally decided on the comm room. While Shepard was out of commission, so was the large space. 

He made his way up there, worried someone would stop him to give him another task or ask him what he was up to, but his fears were unfounded. With the door safely shut behind him, he went to his usual seat and frantically accessed the message from Shepard.

*   
:: Kaidan- ::  
:: No laughing. ::  
:: -Shepard ::  


Attached to it were three vid files, one dated nearly twenty years earlier, one fourteen years earlier, and one only eleven years in the past. He selected the oldest vid first. It started out shakily showing the back of someone, before righting itself on a wide open floorspace over the person's shoulder. The voices being picked up were obviously a father and mother figure discussing someone named “Ri”. As a small figure, a little girl with medium brown skin and dark hair in a purple leotard, stepped onto the floor, they shushed each other, and the crowd went silent. 

The girl struck a pose and held it, but as the music started, she started to unwind her limbs, lifting them individually in time with the beat. As the child began to do rudimentary tumbling passes, interspersed with obvious ballet techniques, Kaidan suddenly realized that this “Ri” was none other than his Commanding Officer, Riela Shepard, at age nine. Granted, a lot of the movements were stilted, and there were plenty of awkward pauses in between the more difficult moves, but overall it was graceful. It was more impressive than anything Kaidan could do now, or had ever been able to do, and he was stunned. The routine was no more than five minutes long, and at the end, little Shepard's chest heaving, sweat glistening her brow, she bowed and waved to the audience with the biggest, happiest grin he'd ever seen on her face. The parents- her parents, he realized -cheered and applauded loudly, showering praise down on her over the crowd before the vid cut off. 

In the silence of the comm room, Kaidan sat for a moment before remembering he had two more wonderful surprises waiting. He started the second one, better shot than the first, which showed a similar but different location. Riela was now fifteen, tall, lanky, bony even, with startlingly visible toned muscles in a sapphire blue leotard with a sheer blue panel of fabric around her waist like a skirt. When the gentle music started, she began with classical ballet, slow precise movements of her legs lifting high around her, her arms outstretched delicately in the familiar forms, her body swaying with an unearthly grace side to side as she danced across the floor. 

It was incredible, unbelievable. Or so Kaidan thought, until she started adding in cartwheels and walkovers that didn't use her hands, her torso somehow floating in midair as her legs flew from one place to another. And he was stunned again as she somehow ended up in a long tumbling pass from one corner to another, looking like she was soaring through the air, higher than any human could ever possibly manage in the real world. The performance wound down the same way it had built up, ending with slow lithe movements leading to a statuesque pose. The audience roared and threw roses, singly and by the dozen, at her feet, and that same wonderful smile transfixed her face as she waved and bowed. 

Kaidan started the third vid as soon as the second one ended. Here, Shepard was eighteen, at her full height and growth, splendidly curved in all the right places, hard muscle delicately rippling under her smooth, glowing skin. She wore a white leotard this time, with a spray of crystals starting at one shoulder to scatter down over her torso, with another matching sheer skirt. The person recording was in the front row this time, right in the center of one side of the floor. The background was dark, the lighting set up to shine only on the large square and the woman at the center. 

The years of study and practice had obviously paid off. If Kaidan had thought she was graceful and ethereal in the last vid, he was sadly mistaken. This...this was the most incredible, most beautiful, most amazing thing he had ever seen. Words could not even describe the wonder of Shepard's dancing, Shepard's _flying_. There was no division between the gymnastics and the ballet this time; their joining was flawless. _She_ was flawless, flipping, spinning, leaping through the air, twirling around, daintily scissoring her feet, arms floating... He watched avidly, his mouth hanging open for the whole fifteen minutes of the performance. And again, at the end, that world-shattering expression of pure joy. 

For another fifteen minutes, Kaidan just sat there in the silence, his mind replaying and soaking in every detail. The first clear thought he had, he messaged to Shepard. 

*   
:: Shepard- ::  
:: How could you ever think I would laugh at that? ::  
:: - Kaidan ::  


That night, their supper included a strange electricity in the air, both confining and freeing in their near silence.

–------------

Somehow, Garrus never got to meet with Shepard before they reached the MSV Ontario, his work schedule and her random sleeping schedule never coinciding in such a way as to give them time to talk. He sent her a message about the upcoming mission via omni-tool, and hoped that would be alright. It went well, Ashley following orders as well as any turian soldier, and Kaidan was able to talk the biotics down. He'd negotiated Burns' release with a promise that the chairman would fight for the reparations instead of against them. 

Back on board the Normandy, Garrus had Joker send out a request to the Alliance for a pick up of their guest, which they said could take place in orbit around Treyarmus in the next system over. After mentioning the planet to Tali, she said that it would be a good place to sell all the salvage they'd been collecting. It was a common place for quarians to do such business due to the heavy traffic of the nearby shipping lane. 

Garrus went with Tali, and they took Liara along, both for the experience and in hopes of finding her some decent armour. They didn't return back to the ship until late, and Liara followed Tali down to her little corridor room to continue their conversation. They'd eaten aboard a local trading vessel that had had food stands set up, so none of them were hungry. 

As he walked past the medbay, he noticed that Shepard was sitting up in bed, her hair loose around her shoulders, watching something on her omni-tool. It looked like “Fleet and Flotilla”, a large budget vid about a turian and a quarian falling in love. Garrus had already seen it back on the Citadel, and he'd actually enjoyed it. He watched her face watching the vid for a few moments before deciding to ask if she wanted some company. He needed to give his mission report, at least. 

The medbay door slid open and he stepped inside, but Shepard was too engrossed to notice him. He realized with a start that she was watching the movie in its original language format, with all the species speaking their own. It was much cheaper to film everyone speaking their own language and then just count on the viewer's translator for comprehension. The current scene was just the main protagonists, so he could understand half the dialogue without his translator echoing the lines, but the quarian half was being directly translated by his own omni-tool, not by hers first into her own language and then into his. 

He stepped closer, drawn by this enigma, and asked, “Shepard, what are you doing? Can you even understand what they're saying?” 

Her head jerked up, her expression startled, which quickly dissolved into something else. It took him a moment to recognize embarrassment on her face. She hurriedly stopped the program on her omni-tool before accessing a different one. When she finished she looked back up at him, thoroughly chagrined. She cleared her throat and said, “I'm sorry, could you repeat that?” tucking her loose hair behind an ear. 

“I asked what you were doing, if you could understand what they were saying.” 

She tried to fight a smile that was tugging at the corners of her mouth before answering, “No.” She motioned to the chair that was still beside her bed on the right, and Garrus walked around and sat down. 

“So, what were you doing then?” he drawled, enjoying catching his commander in an uncomfortable situation. 

She huffed a sigh before answering, not meeting his gaze. She was fiddling with the edge of the blanket on her lap with her right hand, her eyes focused on that. “If you must know, I was trying to see if I could pick up anything from their body language and their native tongues. How do I know my translator is going to translate properly, or thoroughly? How can I guarantee it will always function? Besides,” she paused, her voice going softer, more wistful, “I like the way it sounds. It's...beautiful.” She glanced up at him sideways, her hair almost obscuring her face. 

Garrus sat there, stunned into silence for a moment. It was so quiet in the medbay, he could hear her heart pounding, her breathing a little more shallow than it had been when he'd first walked in. Her blood was racing through her veins so quickly it was making her temperature rise, and he could feel the heat coming from her skin. 

The stillness stretched on so long, Shepard finally turned her face fully to his and demanded, “What?” So many emotions were flitting over her features he couldn't even catch most of them, let alone know what they all meant. 

“N-nothing. I'm just... How is it that you always manage to surprise me? I can't ever figure you out, Shepard. It's one thing after another. Being around you is like being on a ship with faulty artificial grav. I never quite know when the floor's going to fall out from underneath me.” 

“I never thought I was all that complicated. I like other species, other cultures.” She gave a one-shouldered shrug. “That's all.” 

Garrus gave a turian snort and shook his head. “That's all, my spines. As if you could be summed up so easily.” His eyes took on that predatory glint that meant he was getting ready to give her a hard time. “So...you think it's beautiful?” 

“I do,” she said with conviction, raising her chin. Now that she had given away her position, she held her ground confidently. Seeing that she was not going to be embarrassed again, he let his teasing tone drop. 

“What exactly do you think is beautiful?” he asked sincerely. “The quarian language? The turian language? All the languages?” 

“All of them are interesting in their own way. The quarians have that slight reverb caused by their suits. I'd like to hear it without the face mask, one day. But it's the turian dual-voice that I find the most captivating. There's nothing like it on Earth, or among humans. I-- nevermind.” She shook her head, looking down at her fingers swirling designs on the blanket again, her hair falling like a curtain between them. 

Something strange was going on. Was an admission of admiring something about turians to a turian, because she didn't like them, making her uncomfortable? Rather than push the subject, Garrus asked a question down a different vein. “So, have you picked up any words yet?” 

“No, not really.” She sat back up, leaning against her pillow and facing him. “I think I keep hearing the same sound patterns again and again, but I don't know what they mean. It's fun, like a puzzle, but I'm not really getting anywhere. And maybe my human ear can't pick up nuances that would be obvious to someone who grew up speaking the language.” 

“Maybe,” he conceded. “Would you like to try to learn?” he asked seriously. He had to pause for a moment and marvel at the situation again. In all his years at C-Sec, surrounded by all those other species, humans included, no one had ever wanted to learn how to speak Palavese. _Of course, it would be Shepard to change the status quo._

At his proposal, her eyes went bright with excitement and desire. “Are you offering to teach me?” she asked, trying to maintain her calm. 

“Sure. What do you want to know?” he asked affably. 

“The subharmonics,” Shepard said instantly, hungrily. “What do they mean? Are they words or something else?” 

Surprised by her ferocity, he spread his mandibles wide in a turian grin. “Something else,” he answered. “They denote feelings and emotions. Our faces can't show as wide a range as other races, not counting the quarians, so we use our subharmonics instead. The pitch means a general emotion, and the speed of the flanging shows how strongly we're feeling it.” 

She nodded understanding as he continued, “Listen.” Then Garrus didn't say anything, but he hummed the pitch that signified happiness with the slow flange that meant peacefulness. “That's contented, or happily relaxed, or peacefully happy.” He kept the happy pitch, but increased the speed of the flanging to very fast. “That means excited. Once you get the basics down, it's easy to figure out all the minutiae.” 

Shepard nodded again, her brows slightly furrowed in concentration. Garrus continued explaining the basic range of subharmonics, starting at the low end with anger, and working up through sadness, happiness, worry, and terror at the high end. He was surprised to discover that she couldn't even actually hear the extremes on either side, but she said she could feel them if she paid attention. 

Shepard tried to mimic them by humming, but her attempts fell flat. She eventually gave up, just glad that she knew more now than she did before. She yawned suddenly, covering her hand with her mouth, blinked her watery eyes at Garrus, and smiled self-consciously “I hope I get over all this sleeping soon. I think Dr. Chakwas is secretly drugging me to make sure I stay in bed.” She sighed and fell back into the pillows. “Only nine more days.” 

Garrus wanted to leave her to rest again, but remembered that he'd never made his report to her. “You got my message on your omni-tool, right? The one I sent you before the mission?” 

“Oh yes, the mission. How did it go?” she asked, her gaze sharpening on his face. 

“Actually, better than I expected. We had to take out a few terrorists before we could get to the hostage, but once we had him, they wanted to negotiate. Kaidan managed to convince them to let Chairman Burns go, on the grounds that they'd need his support to get the reparations passed. I think it was only because he's an L2 himself that they believed him. Anyway, we took Chairman Burns nearby to a rendezvous with an Alliance courier and dropped him off. We also sold a lot of scrap with Tali's help, and managed to find Liara some armour. It's not very shiny, but it should do the job until we can find something better.” 

“Good. Well done, Vakarian. Keep it up.” 

“Our next mission is a missing freighter called the MSV Worthington. We'll be hitting the mass relay as soon as Joker's on shift again in the morning, heading out to Gemini Sigma. It shouldn't take as long to complete as this one did.” 

Shepard nodded, “Sounds good. Just send me updates via omni-tool if I keep sleeping like I have been. I trust you, Vakarian, I just want to stay apprised.” 

“Will do,” he said, rising. “Get some more sleep, Shepard. The sooner you're back in action, the happier we'll all be.” 

“The happier I'll be, too. Get some sleep yourself, alright? No injuries due to sleep deprivation allowed.” 

“Understood, ma'am,” he said with mock seriousness, his grin giving himself away. 

Garrus took Wrex and Tali with him onto the MSV Worthington, which was eerily quiet and empty. The life support was still running, but nothing else was, the whole vessel just absently drifting through space. Tali found some disturbing recordings from people no longer around about a man named Jacob who was brain dead, and Julia, who did not want to take him off of the machines that were keeping him alive. They came across Jacob's living body, and then they were immediately attacked by Julia, who admitted in her rantings that she had killed everyone else aboard and shoved them out of the airlock to keep them from murdering her Jacob. 

The team had to kill her in self-defense, but Garrus felt sick. Nothing disturbed him more than people losing themselves in grief. The level of pain that a person had to suffer for their minds to snap like that was unimaginable to him, his insides wrenching just trying to fathom it. The only people he was close to at all were his mother and sister back home on Palaven, and even though he'd grieve for them if they died, he wouldn't stop functioning with their absence. 

Garrus had to decide what to do with Jacob. By all the reports, there was nothing that could be done, no medical miracles possible anywhere in the universe. _How would he feel if he did come back, just to find that Julia had gone crazy and died trying to protect him? Did he feel the same about her? Would he go crazy next?_ Garrus shook his head and stepped up to the body on the bed. He swallowed roughly, then slowly turned the machines off, one by one. He looked down at Julia's form sprawled on the floor nearby. Without quite knowing why, without ever being able to explain his reasoning to anyone else, he picked her up and laid her down beside Jacob on the narrow cot, arranging their bodies in a peaceful simile of sleep, then motioned his team to follow him back to the Normandy. 

Back aboard, he went down to the medbay to make his verbal report to Shepard, who was awake. Just as he was about to start, already seated next to her, Joker's voice came through on the intercom. “Incoming transmission from Admiral Hackett, Shepard.” 

“Patch it through,” she replied. 

“Commander Shepard,” began the Admiral's voice. “We've just received an intelligence report from the Armstrong Nebula. Geth have set up a number of small outposts there, as a front line for a larger incursion. They must be eliminated immediately.” 

“Do you know how many and how well fortified their positions are, sir?” she asked, sitting up straighter in her bed, her expression focused. 

“I will forward you the details. Do everything you can to stop this invasion before it starts, Commander. Hackett out.” The comm audibly clicked off. 

“I'll get right on that,” Shepard muttered sarcastically under her breath, shifting restlessly in her bed. “Joker!” she hollered to the ceiling. 

“Yes, Shepard?” his bodiless voice asked immediately through the speaker on the wall. Garrus started. Shepard hadn't accessed a comm unit, either through a terminal or in any other way. How had Joker heard her? Her voice couldn't have possibly carried through the decking to the floor above, not even considering the differences of their locations. 

“Plot a course to the--” 

“--Armstrong Nebula,” he finished for her. “Already on it, Shepard. ETA ten hours, 0500 tomorrow morning. It's a double jump, just to let you know.” 

“Thanks, Joker. Shepard out.” 

Before Garrus could ask any questions, Shepard's omni-tool pinged. She accessed the data Admiral Hackett had sent her, and scrolled through the report quickly, scanning the information. “Four outposts,” she murmured. “Vamshi System, Planet Maji. Hong System, Planet Casbin. Tereshkova System, Planet Antibaar. And Gagarin System, Planet Rayingri. Hmm...Rayingri sounds familiar.” She closed down the window that was up and pulled up a different report. “Oh. I was there some months back. Picked up some scientific data from a research lab. I hope they're alright.” She closed down her omni-tool and turned to Garrus who was waiting patiently. 

“You ready to lead a real downside mission, Vakarian? Because it looks like one just fell in your lap.” 

“Shepard, do you even need to ask? I mean, come on, I'm the best there is,” he drawled while leaning back in a ridiculously over-casual pose, crossing his arms. 

“Right, I forgot,” she said while rolling her eyes. 

“That's impossible. No one can forget me, I'm unforgettable.” 

“Even though they try to,” she grumbled, almost to herself. “So,” she continued, “how was the MSV Worthington?” 

Although Garrus' position didn't change, he visibly withdrew into himself. “Not good. There was only one human alive on there, a woman named Julia. From the information we gathered, a man she was attached to was critically injured and died, but machines were keeping his body alive. The crew wanted to turn them off, but she killed them all to protect him. She attacked us and there was only one way to stop her. Then we turned off Jacob's machines and left.” 

“I see,” she said quietly. “At least now we know why it stopped responding. I'll let the Alliance know and they can finish with the clean up.” Her gaze was riveted on him for a moment, her emerald eyes intense. “Is that...not sadness...” her eyes narrowed and she tilted her head slightly. 

Garrus realized she was talking about his subharmonics, and clamped them off abruptly. She jerked back a little at the sudden lack of sound, asking, “Why'd you stop?” 

“Sorry. I didn't know I was vocalizing and when you brought my attention to it, I just cut it off out of reflex. It wasn't sadness, really. More like uncomfortable, distressed in a sad way and not a worried way.” 

She nodded. “I feel the same. Sometimes, humans don't handle loss very well,” she said, looking away. 

“Sometimes, neither do turians,” he admitted. 

“It's nice to know some things are universal.”

–-------------------

_Only seven days left to go,_ Shepard thought to herself after Garrus left the medbay. _One week. One week. Halfway there. I can make it._ Riela shifted uncomfortably in her bed again, wishing she could lay on her side, or walk, or duck behind some cover. She sighed frustratedly, and opened her omni-tool to forward the geth outpost specifics to Garrus. Then she started her research on Noveria, the available information on Feros having been completely exhausted already. 

The days passed slowly, as if time was suffering major dilation due to the gravity of a black hole. Her injuries continued to improve; Dr. Chakwas stated that her bones were healing cleanly, with no weak points left to worry about in the future. Everyday, breathing was easier than the last. Riela began surreptitiously exercising her left arm, slowly bending and moving it at all the joints, raising it up and lowering it back down, conscious not to push her body too far. When the pain elevated too high, she'd stop to let the throbbing subside, and would spend the rest of the day walking to the bathroom more times than was necessary. Nothing escaped notice under the watchful eye of Dr. Chakwas, but she prudently held her tongue as long as Shepard didn't overextend herself. 

She received updates, both verbal and written, from her ground team members that went downside to contend with the geth as their garrisons were wiped out one by one. Injuries sustained were minor, and no personnel issues were brought to her attention. Ashley, who had remained on board to train Liara, gave her updates on the asari, which were going well. In fact, everything was going so well, Riela was secretly glad the Normandy had something to do while she was healing, because it gave her the hope that she could still lead the major upcoming operation. 

Shepard was sad to hear that the research lab on Rayingri, the one she had been to with Alenko and Draven all those months ago, had been overrun with husks. No humans were found alive. She was also informed that an incoming signal had been discovered there, which led the way to the main bunker on yet another planet in a nearby system. Garrus, leading Kaidan and Tali, wiped it out totally, thus saving the Skyllian Verge from future invasion. Shepard, not knowing if it would make any difference or even be honoured in the future, wrote Garrus a commendation for his file for all the missions led in her absence. 

With one more day of her bedridden prison sentence left to fill, the Normandy jumped back through to the Attican Beta cluster. She called Vakarian to the medbay to discuss plans for the next day. “How's everybody holding up?” she asked after he sat down. 

“Not too bad. A little worn around the edges, so many firefights so close together.” 

“Perfect,” Shepard said, a mischievous little glint shining in her eyes. “I declare tomorrow to be a rest and recovery day for everyone aboard. I'll tell Joker to put us in orbit around somewhere quiet, and everyone's duties can be minimized for the maximum relaxation. It won't be a real shore leave, but it's better than nothing.” 

“Shepard, are you just doing this so that you can be released in time for Feros?” Garrus asked suspiciously. 

“Not just because of that. Like you said, everyone's getting worn out. I think whatever is going on with that Prothean ruin-riddled planet is going to be more serious than what we've come across so far, and I want everyone in their best condition. It's for the benefit of everyone, not just me.” 

“Well, I could use the break,” he sighed, agreeing. 

“Pass the word, Vakarian. Tell them it came from me. Tell Joker first, then XO Pressley, but send Kaidan in here before you head up to the CIC.” 

“Will do, Shepard.” Garrus said, then left. Riela watched him go, proud of how well she'd been handling her close interactions with him. It probably helped that Dr. Chakwas was nearly always sitting at her terminal, able to overhear any dialogue Shepard had with any of her subordinates. Riela would occasionally catch amused smiles crossing her face, or sometimes a quietly raised eyebrow, but the good doctor never involved herself in any of the conversations unless invited. Riela would be glad to be back in her cabin soon; her dreams, when not involving Reapers and the destruction of the galaxy, she was sure were getting progressively embarrassing to have observed. 

When Kaidan came in, Shepard explained about the day off, and had him schedule everyone short, easy shifts to allow them to have as much free time as possible. Leave, such as it was, would last until 1200 tomorrow, twenty-five hours total, at which time Joker would put them on a heading to Feros, and their downside mission would start right after breakfast the following day. She checked on Joker's progress, then wheedled permission from the doctor to be allowed to sit at the mess table with her crew, on this her last day of confinement, which was grudgingly granted. 

Shepard showered and dressed carefully in her most comfortably worn fatigues, and pulled her hair back into its typical bun before exiting her cabin and sitting down at the mess. In the hopes of a wonderfully relaxing afternoon, she'd grabbed her pack of cards and brought them with her. Crew members drifted in and out of the public space, visiting for a while, wandering off in little groups to the quarters or down to the cargo bay for some friendly workouts, generally having a good time and unwinding. 

She played poker with Dr. Chakwas, Joker, Rosamund, Ashley, Tali, Liara, and Garrus, with Kaidan sitting nearby, savoring her company but remaining mostly quiet. She enjoyed the proximity of him; it helped to keep her focus from being drawn to that supremely intriguing being that kept purring “happily contented” across the table from her. It was a difficult line to walk, showing Kaidan interest without showing so much that any Alliance soldier walking through would think that something against regs was going on. 

That night, lying down in her own bed, in her own private cabin for the first time in two weeks, her dreams were especially overpowering. They were full of armour pieces, red-black and blue-silver, scattered on the floor of the cabin, rumpled bedsheets, taloned three-fingered hands trailing slowly up her arms, the rumble of joyful subharmonics, and blue, blue eyes, brighter than stars, looking into hers.


	10. Feros

When she awoke, for one fleeting moment, Riela felt that everything was right in the universe. It was like the whole cosmos had aligned perfectly to allow her this joy, this rapture of heart and soul, and nothing could destroy this peace that had suddenly become the foundation of her core. But when she rolled over and saw her empty bed, reality came crashing back down, and her new foundation crumbled and fell away like sand. Her sense of loss was so unexpectedly great that she took a few shuddering sobs of breath before she got her emotions back under control. _Why do I feel like I've lost something, when I never even had it to begin with?_ Her hand drifted over to the place where someone else would lie, running sadly over the cold and barren sheets before she slowly pulled it back. Riela's heart ached so poignantly she couldn't even bring herself to repeat her stupid mantra. 

In an effort to distract her mind, she took a scalding hot shower, and readied herself for her check up with Dr. Chakwas. She left her cabin, but the doctor wasn't on duty yet, or even awake, apparently. Shepard surveyed the empty mess, then checked her omni-tool and realized that it was earlier than she had originally thought. She busied herself making a cup of instant coffee, the supply of real beans having already been exhausted, and gingerly sat down at a table. 

The quiet noises around her of the Normandy running at peak efficiency soothed her like a mother's hug after a childish nightmare. She sipped her mediocre coffee in the false peacefulness of an empty mind carefully avoiding a painful memory. She turned her attention once again to her omni-tool to skim over the reports on Feros. Nothing had changed since the last time she had read them, but the niggling fear that she was unprepared for what was to come would not subside. Shepard tried to convince herself she only felt that way due to psychological trauma caused by the krogan attack, but it didn't help. 

She rummaged in the galley to see what kind of breakfast was available, but sadly all she could find were prepackaged freeze-dried MREs. It looked like they had come to the end of their special inventory. She ate one dejectedly while rereading the reports her ground crew had sent. She was glad for her nervous habit, because she had somehow missed the notice that Tali had found something about the geth that would be incredibly useful to her people. She made a mental note to talk to the quarian about it later, excited for her, but nervous that she would want to leave the mission, now that her Pilgrimage requirement had been met. 

Eventually, life stirred around her as the few members of the crew who needed to report for duty shuffled sleepily to the mess. She greeted them all by name, glad that the two weeks she'd spent bedridden weren't obvious to a casual viewer. Dr. Chakwas was among them, and she raised an eyebrow at the commander, a wry smile twitching her lips. “You just can't wait to put yourself into another dangerous situation, can you, Shepard?” she asked. 

Shepard shrugged good-naturedly, which only caused a tiny twinge of discomfort. “I guess I'm a glutton for punishment. But I'd prefer dishing it out instead of having it served to me.” 

“Do you want to do this now, or after I have my breakfast?” 

“I'll wait. We're not going to get there today, even if I am fit for duty.” 

“Then if you don't mind, I think I'll join you momentarily,” Dr. Chakwas said, headed past her to the galley. Shepard nodded her consent, and settled back comfortably. She gauged her soreness, and only placed herself as equal to the day after intense training; enough to be careful, but not enough to stop her. 

After breakfast, the women headed to the medbay, where Shepard had to change into a thin hospital gown. The examination included a plethora of one-syllable noises from the doctor, but none of them seemed particularly negative or worrisome to Shepard, so she remained hopeful. “Well, I would really prefer if you remained on the ship for another few days until the stiffness is gone, but one of the best ways to remedy that is exercise. There's nothing I can really point at as a reason to keep you back, so I guess you're released for duty. Just...spend today slowly stretching and exercising, and _be careful_ tomorrow. Don't overdo it, or you'll just wind up back in here, Shepard.” 

“Aye aye, ma'am. I will,” she said solemnly. 

“You know,” Dr. Chakwas observed, “for a headstrong young woman, you were a much better patient than I thought you'd be. It made my job much easier.” 

“I figured you knew what you were talking about, and I'd heal faster if I followed doctor's orders,” Shepard answered candidly. “Plus, I learned my lesson when I was a child. Remind me to tell you about the time I got stuck in a ventilation shaft and had to dislocate my elbow to get back out, and then dislocated it again the next day through sheer stupidity and stubbornness. That's a good one.” 

“Would that all my patients learned from their experiences as you have,” Dr. Chakwas said with mild exasperation. 

“We can only hope. I'll see you around, doc.” Shepard left with a wave, and headed up to the CIC to start on her sorely neglected rounds. 

The crew was happy to see her back on her feet, and Shepard spent a sizable amount of time chatting with various groups of off-duty soldiers before their “leave” was over. When she made it down to the nearly deserted cargo bay, she found that one of her unanswered problems had already been solved by Ashley. Her armour was completely repaired or replaced, and looked brand new. Ashley was obviously proud of her work, and Shepard only added to her self-esteem with praise of a job well done. She promised to try it on later, fatigues not being well-suited to serve as underarmour. 

“How's Liara coming along? Your reports weren't very expansive. Give it to me straight, Ash, it's just you and me. I won't repeat anything you say,” Shepard said. 

“She'll be alright with a little more practice. I'm just worried that she'll freeze up again under the stress,” Ashley answered. 

“I think her problem stemmed more from fear of not knowing what to do, not fear of injury or death. With her being under you for training, I hope we've fixed that. So, do you think she's ready? I thought maybe I'd take her with me downside on Feros if she was.” 

Ashley shook her head. “Not yet, Shepard. A few more weeks, and she will be. Maybe Noveria, if you really want to start her big.” 

“Well, I guess that means I can't take you either. Keep up the good work, Ashley. I have faith in your abilities,” Shepard said, clasping her shoulder. “And thank you again for taking care of my armour.” 

“No problem, Shepard. I'd say anytime, but I hope I'll never have to do it again.” 

“You and me both.” Shepard headed down to Engineering with a backwards wave. 

Tali had discovered some improvements to make to the engines, which Engineer Adams had already implemented. Shepard looked over the specs, and enthusiastically agreed with her suggestions. 

“So, tell me about this information you found on the geth,” Shepard said with a smile. 

“Really, it's just hard data, but with time we can extrapolate details of their evolution. Up until now, all the geth we've come across have been under Saren's control, so their changes might have been forced by his outside influence. These geth were under their own command, and so we'll be able to look at their growth over the last few centuries to see how they've changed from when they were first created. This greater understanding could eventually lead to our ability to conquer them and take back our home world!” Tali explained animatedly. 

“I see. So will you be leaving us, now that your Pilgrimage can end?” 

“If I leave now, before we defeat Saren, I would just be going home to the Migrant Fleet to wait around until we're all wiped out by the Reapers. I can't do that, Shepard. They don't really need me, and this new information will only be helpful years into the future, not now. I want to stay until this threat is dealt with,” Tali said steadily. 

“That's good to hear. You're an asset to this crew, and to my team. I consider you one of my friends, and I'd hate to see you go so soon.” 

“Thanks, Shepard. That really means a lot to me. I think of you as one of my friends, too. You know, back in the Flotilla, sometimes a person on their Pilgrimage never came back. I'd always assumed something bad had happened to them, but maybe they just liked their new life better than their old one.” 

“I suppose that's possible. What about you, Tali? Will you go back?” Shepard asked curiously. 

“I could never desert my family, my home, no matter what friends I made out here. I would hope that I could stay in touch with them, though, maybe visit from time to time. We do have access to the extranet, you know. We can receive mail,” Tali said. 

“I'll keep that in mind. I frequently message a lot of my friends that I never see while I'm on missions. My family too.” 

“Good to know, Shepard. In that case, I hope to hear from you when I'm back with my people.” 

“I promise,” Shepard said firmly. “Hey, could you send me a copy of that geth data? I'm sure the Alliance will want to know what we've discovered,” she added. 

“Of course, Shepard.” 

“Thanks, Tali.” She headed back out, looking for Wrex. 

The krogan was back at his usual spot, leaning against some crates. “Wrex,” she said. 

“Shepard,” he responded. 

“So, I got my ass handed to me by a krogan a few weeks ago, and I wanted to know if maybe you could give me some tips to keep that from happening again.” 

“Don't fight a krogan,” he said shortly. 

“Ha ha, Wrex. I meant tips for if I didn't have a choice.” 

“Duck and roll. Aim for the knees. It's a weak spot,” he said helpfully. 

“Aim for the knees, got it. Thanks.” She smiled and tilted her head to the side, looking up at him, her hands on her hips. “So, are you doing anything tomorrow?” 

Wrex looked down at her, incredulity in his red eyes. “I plan on eating the first person who asks me a stupid question.” 

“Well, I'm safe then. I asked mine today.” She grinned. “I thought maybe you'd like to see a little action, accompany me downside.” 

“I'm always ready for a fight,” he answered. 

“That's good to hear. You, me, and Kaidan then. I'll see you tomorrow, we'll dock right after breakfast.” 

“Shepard,” he said, nodding his head. 

“Wrex,” she replied. 

She headed back up the elevator to let Kaidan know the plans, but he wasn't at his usual station, so she headed to the battery to inform Garrus instead. 

“Shepard,” he greeted her, turning around from the console. “Is there something I can do for you?” 

“I just wanted to let you know that you're not going to be on my ground team tomorrow. You've been working really hard leading all the away missions in my stead, and you deserve a break.” She leaned against the door frame, keeping it open, her arms across her chest. After her dreams last night, the last thing she wanted to do was put herself in an enclosed space alone with him. Too much temptation, too much pain. 

“Whatever you say, Shepard,” he said amiably. 

“I'm sure you could handle it, being the badass you are, but if I had to take downtime, you get some too.” 

“Well, as long as you recognize my abilities, I guess that's alright,” he said with that familiar humorous glint in his eyes. 

Her heart skipped a beat. _No,_ she told herself. Out loud she said, “Speaking of your abilities, is the Mako all ready to go?” 

“Yes, I even added some extra plating on the front where you keep smashing it into things.” 

She mock glared at him. “Thanks,” she said dryly. 

“Don't mention it,” he said with a widening of his mandibles. 

“I won't.” She could hear the flanging of humor in his subvocals at her brusque reply. Her pique left as quickly as it had come, and she smiled and shook her head, dropping her gaze to the floor, a ghost of a laugh exhaling from her lips. “I'll let you get back to whatever it was you were doing,” she said, standing up straight. 

“I was calibrating the mass accelerator cannon for higher output.” 

“And has that made any difference?” she asked curiously. 

“Since I've been on board, I've increased its efficiency by eight percent.” 

“You _are_ handy,” she said, impressed. “I suppose you have some modifications you'd like to do, just like with the Mako?” 

“I do have some schematics drawn up, but it would require docking the Normandy for a few days to install the upgrades, if they're approved.” 

“Send them my way, and I'll look them over. The bigger the guns, the better. Maybe the next time we stop at the Citadel for resupply, we can implement them.” 

“Will do, Shepard.” He accessed his omni-tool. 

“I should go. See you around,” Shepard said, taking a few steps backwards out of the battery. The door whooshed shut in front of her, and she took a few moments to regain her typical poise. Then she turned to go check on Liara. 

The asari was sitting at the terminal they'd placed in the little storage room for her, but turned and stood at Shepard's entrance. “Hello, Shepard,” she said. 

“Hey, Liara. Are you doing alright? I almost never see you out on the main decks of the ship, not even for meals.” 

“Yes, I'm fine. I'm just worried that the others don't want me here. I can tell they don't trust me yet, so I stay out of sight.” 

“But they won't learn to trust you if they never get to know you. Humans notoriously fear the unknown. It would be a better solution to mingle with them instead of hiding away. They'll start inventing stories about you, and they'll get passed around as if they were truth. And then whatever they believe will be set in stone, and almost certainly wrong. Trust me, if you want to be welcomed here, truly part of the team, you have to come out to where the rest of us are sometimes. I'm not saying you have to be friends with everyone, or even spend most of your time out there, but you're a mystery to us, and we're curious about you. Just be seen, that's all. Tali was the same way when she first came on board, but she had the engineers to talk to about the ship, and they told everyone else how nice and not terrifying she is. 

“I have an ulterior motive for having all you _aliens_ aboard,” Shepard continued, putting an emphasis on the word 'aliens' that implied she was only using it because the other crew members used it. “I'm sure you've heard that humans don't much care for other species; they'd rather not have anything to do with them. I'm trying to do my part to smooth over relations between all our kinds. We're the babies of the galaxy, and I want to make sure we play nice. The rest of you have been getting along, more or less, for centuries, and I just want us to be able to join in the fun. Will you help me out? Show them that asari aren't scary or dangerous, even with your incredible biotic abilities?” 

Liara just blinked her wide blue eyes at Shepard for a moment. “I...I think I understand how I've misjudged the situation. I'm sorry, Shepard. I'll start eating my meals at the mess table. Will that help?” 

“That's just fine. I don't want you to feel like you have to change who you are, or act any specific way. Just be more visible, that's all. Most of the asari that humans come into contact with are dancers on the Citadel. You can show them, just by being here, that your people are capable of so much more.” 

“I can do that. Thank you for your advice. I really don't know anything about your species, and I don't want to do anything wrong.” 

“You won't. Actually, I didn't even come in here to talk about that. I came to let you know that I wanted to take you with me to Feros, but Ashley says it will be a few more weeks until you're ready. So hopefully you'll be with us for Noveria.” 

“Well, I have to say I am glad I'm not going yet. Even I don't think I'm ready,” Liara said, shaking her head. 

“Just keep working, and you'll be alright. I saw you stand up to that krogan on Therum. You're tougher than you think you are,” Shepard replied, smiling. 

“I thank you for your vote of confidence.” 

“Well, I hope to see you at lunch. We can sit together, if that will make you feel more comfortable.” 

“Thank you, Shepard. I'll see you then.” 

Shepard left the medbay, and glanced at Kaidan's console. It was still unoccupied, so she headed up to the cockpit, where she found him working next to Joker. 

“Hey, Kaidan,” she greeted him. 

“Hey, Shepard,” he replied. 

“Hey, what am I? Part of the décor?” Joker asked acerbically. 

“Hey, Joker,” Shepard said. 

“What is this, chat time? Can't you see I'm too busy working to talk to you?” he responded, a corner of his mouth pulled up. 

Shepard snorted and shook her head. “It's nice to see you take your job so seriously.” 

“Yeah, well, we can't all lie in bed for weeks at a time.” 

“Hey, I could break your arm for you and let you take a turn,” she shot back. 

“Aww, so thoughtful. But then who would take fly my baby?” 

“I was thinking of sending Tali up here for training anyway. Maybe I'll just let her have it under 'emergency circumstances' and see how she does,” Shepard mused, her eyes sparkling. 

Joker gasped and sputtered. “You wouldn't dare!” 

“That probably _would_ be a bad idea,” she agreed slowly. When she saw Joker relax, she added, “But there's always Dubyansky.” 

Joker stiffened in his seat. _“You're evil,”_ he hissed dramatically. Shepard's laugh was full of mirth as she turned back to Kaidan. 

“I just wanted to let you know that you'll be on the ground team with Wrex and me tomorrow. If you want, I can send you an abridged version of the reports I have, so you'll have a better idea of what we're facing.” 

“Thanks, Shepard. I'd like that.” Their eyes locked, and Shepard smiled at him, a warm, friendly smile that tinged his cheeks pink. He hoped the cockpit was dark enough to disguise it from Joker. 

Shepard didn't miss the blush. “I'll go do that now. See you around, Kaidan. Bye, Joker.” 

“Bye,” Kaidan said, while Joker chimed in much more grumpily. 

After Shepard had left, Joker looked over at him from the corner of his eye. “A crush on the Commander? Really? I thought you were all about regulations,” he teased. 

Kaidan's face reddened even more, and he ducked his head to better study the readouts in front of him. There was no point in trying to hide anything from Joker once he'd figured it out. “No regulations have been broken.” 

“Yet,” Joker tacked on, wickedly grinning. 

“Ever,” Kaidan corrected. 

“I know you gun-wielding types like to think you're invincible, but you're not,” he said seriously. “I'm not telling you to break regs, Biotic-boy, but just remember that everything can change in a moment, and try not to have any regrets after they do.” 

“Uh, thanks, I guess.” 

“Just keep it in mind.” 

They both focused on their consoles, but Kaidan's mind was occupied elsewhere. With the recent events, Joker's words had a significant impact. 

\--------------------

Joker landed the Normandy at the Zhu's Hope docking bay, and Shepard led her readied team out onto the stark, plascrete walkway. In the distance, she could see a man waiting for them. As she neared, he told her that Fai Dan, the leader, requested her help to stop a second push from the geth. Just then, a rocket impacted the colonist from behind. Shepard and Alenko ducked behind cover before the body hit the ground, and Wrex was already firing his assault rifle at the intruding geth. 

Shepard opened her sniper and popped up, taking aim at the geth who had launched the missile. With joint fire from the duo, it went down quickly, and they separated to focus on individual enemies. Soon, all nearby were eliminated, so they headed through the door and up the stairs. Two more geth, the ones that could climb and jump from wall to wall were there. Alenko used Lift on one while Shepard blasted a hole through its headlight, and Wrex shredded the other with a massive outpouring of firepower. 

On through the doorway at the top, they came upon civilians hiding behind crates and other objects for cover, attempting to protect themselves from the attackers. They welcomed Shepard nervously, but continued to hold their posts. She was directed to the back of the large open space behind a gutted freighter when she asked about Fai Dan. As she walked around, assessing the damage, she could hear a few of the people fretting about a lack of water, food, and an energy source. Most of them looked well enough, if not harried, but Shepard still felt a twinge of guilt for those twenty-five hours of downtime. As her adrenaline ebbed, she could feel discomfort starting to pulse through her left arm and torso. _I need to try and be a little more careful, or I'll end up back in the medbay._

She was greeted with relief from Fai Dan, an older man with short hair going grey at the temples. But his second in command, a woman named Arcelia Martinez, was obviously not impressed with the N7 Spectre. She was quite forceful in sharing her opinion on how the Normandy should have been there long ago. Before the discussion could progress, however, more geth poured in from a nearby hallway which led to a tower. Cries of, “Protect the heart of the colony!” went up around them as the civilians began to open fire on the enemy. 

Shepard and her team took them out much more quickly and precisely than the colonists, and then headed through the opening and up another flight of stairs, killing geth along the way. At the top were two more people, trying to keep the door leading to the roof under guard, but failing miserably. Wrex mopped up the remaining targets while Shepard checked on the men and Kaidan watched their backs. After she sent them downstairs, they all went out onto the roof, Wrex in the lead and Shepard in the rear. 

A geth dropship had landed there, and was pouring out shock troopers, rocket troopers, and two large destroyers, while recon drones zoomed about overhead. Shepard crouched behind cover and checked her rifle. She ducked her head around and took out the two drones in quick succession. Alenko had three geth in the air with his biotics, dispatching them one at a time with his pistol. Wrex was charging one of the destroyers, and Shepard was momentarily caught up in the moment, watching as the krogan battlemaster smashed into his target. She inadvertently shuddered, remembering how being on the receiving end of that felt. 

She turned away, refocusing her efforts on the few remaining troopers trying to flank her and Alenko's positions. They went down rapidly, both of them working in concert. The dropship, emptied of all its soldiers and useless now, disengaged from the tower and flew away. She turned back to check on Wrex, who was firing his assault rifle down into the face of the second destroyer while he stood above it. Seeing that he had the geth well in hand, she checked the perimeter of the area, finding a few random supplies stashed in the back corner, but no more enemies. She returned to Alenko and Wrex, who were waiting for her at the entrance. 

She led them back down the stairs to the colony, and found Fai Dan in the same place she had left him, Arcelia still by his side. She took her helmet off and tucked it under her arm. 

“Thank you for all your help, Commander Shepard. We saw the dropship leave, but our troubles aren't over yet. There are still geth in the tunnels below our colony, and they have some sort of transmitter that's attracting the dropships. They've also turned off our water supply,” the leader said with cautious relief. 

“Their help won't make any difference,” Arcelia cut in contemptuously. “We're out of food and we have no power to run our colony, what's left of it, anyway. What are they going to do about that?” She turned to face Shepard. “Did you happen to bring a large supply of MREs and power cells on that fancy new ship of yours?” 

“No, but--” 

“That's what I thought.” 

“Arcelia!” Fai Dan said sharply. “I'm sorry for her behaviour, Commander. We've all been under a great deal of stress here.” 

“I understand, sir. But if you don't mind, I'll see what I can do about the shortages, as well as the remaining geth and the transmitter.” 

“Any help you can provide will be _greatly_ \--” he looked pointedly at Arcelia, “--appreciated. I have people in charge of our food, water, and power supply problems, so if you are going to help, go talk to them first, and they can give you the details.” 

“Will do, sir.” She gave a sketchy salute, and turned to talk to the other colonists who now working on putting out fires and cleaning up rubble. 

Alenko, walking at her right elbow, waited until they were out of hearing, then murmured under his breath, “Sir?” 

She gave him a sidelong glance with a little smile. “I thought if I turned up the respect, it would calm Arcelia down. She feels I'm inferior to them, so I'll play along. We won't be here much longer.” 

“You should have headbutted her off her tall rock,” Wrex rumbled. 

“I'll keep that in mind,” Shepard said, a grin spreading over her face. 

They found the people handling the shortages, and had a brief conversation with all of them. The food and water problems could both be solved underground in the tunnels, but the replacement power cell would be trickier to deal with. The ones on the Normandy were too advanced to work, so they'd have to be found somewhere. She made a note of the make and model needed on her omni-tool, and then headed down to take out the geth. 

The tunnels had large water pipes running along the walls, with control panels placed at regular intervals. It only took a few moments to open the water valves, in between sporadic firefights with geth. In a large side area, a pack of varren, strange dog-like creatures, attacked. These were the emergency food source for the colony, but the alpha varren was too large and dangerous for the civilians to handle. Shepard took him down with a few pistol shots to his brain, and left a few of the others alive. She surveyed her surroundings, and spotted a mostly intact M29 Grizzly. 

She made her way around the large, irregularly shaped blocks of plascrete littering the floor to the vehicle, and removed the side panel. Thanks to watching Garrus work on the Mako, she had a basic knowledge of where to find the important parts. They looked a little different, but the power cells were there and seemed undamaged, although Shepard couldn't tell for sure. She took them out, and compared them to the notes on her omni-tool. Access to the extranet was intermittent at best without the colony's generator to help boost her signal, so she couldn't research her find. She just hoped that they would be close enough to work. She tucked them away, and motioned for her team back out to continue exploring the tunnels. 

She followed the water pipes, making sure she had turned all the valves on, still taking out the occasional pocket of geth. At the end of the long corridor, a man was standing in a tiny alcove, doing nothing. 

“What are you doing down here?” Shepard asked, taking off her helmet. 

“Just invoking the master's whip. Helps remind me I'm still alive. You don't want to be down here.” 

“Because of the geth? I'm here to stop them.” 

“You're not the only one interested in those...things.” 

“Who else is looking for them?” Shepard asked. 

“Not looking for, looking to get rid of. They're a thorn in the side of the-- yeeaaaah!” The man bent over in agony as he screamed, clutching the sides of his head. “--Trying to get to the-- yaaaiieeee!” Then he broke into painful maniacal laughter, tears streaming down his cheeks. 

“Shepard, I don't think he's well,” Alenko said quietly beside her. 

She nodded, then turned back to the man, who was panting quietly. “Would you like for one of us to take you back up to the colony? I think you may have suffered a head injury.” 

“A head injury!” he crowed, then burst into laughter again. “No. I'd rather...die...fighting!” The words were a struggle for him to force out. 

“Maybe I could help you if you told me who you were fighting.” 

“No. It's not that kind of fight. It's like running...through a thorn bush. The more you...struggle...Time's up. Company's coming.” He turned and looked down a nearby side tunnel. Shepard followed his gaze, but didn't see anything. “Ask Fai Dan. Ask him about– gaaaaaahh!” The strange man collapsed, but Shepard could hear the clicks and whirrs of nearby geth. 

She motioned her team to head toward the enemy as she refastened her helmet, leaving the unconscious man mostly hidden behind the wall. They went down the tunnel taking out the two enemies there, nearly without stopping. They followed the corridor for some distance before it turned and opened into a room. One quick glance around, and she signaled a retreat back up the hall. 

“We hit the jackpot. Lots of geth, and three krogan. If we draw them out here, they can't surround us and can only come a few at a time. You two take position on either side of me and put up your Barriers. No rushing into battle. We stand together, understood?” she said over the helmet's private team channel. They nodded at her, and the Barriers went up. 

Shepard fired a shot down the hall to draw attention, and a few moments later some geth came around the corner to investigate. They went down quickly, Shepard using her tech abilities to weaken them, and the others firing as one. The sound of firefight brought more enemies, who went down just as easily. When two of the three krogan appeared, Shepard felt a momentary twinge of fear, but then she gripped her rifle more firmly and aimed for their knees, like Wrex had told her. 

The first krogan fell, immobile but still firing his assault rifle. Fearing a battle charge, she ignored him and turned to the other, who was still standing. Alenko used his Lift on him, and Shepard fired her rifle continuously into his hide with Wrex. When his dead body hit the ground, she saw that the first one was dragging himself up to stand again, and the last one was just coming around the corner. She fired her Damping at the injured krogan, shutting down his possible biotic and tech abilities, and then her Overload at the second one, knocking out his shields. 

The clear-headedness that she normally felt during a battle was returning to her, allowing her to focus better. She could feel her heart rate slow as she raised her sniper to aim for clean eye shots. She kept firing methodically, not allowing her rifle to overheat, confident in her teammates at her side. She felt something hit her high on the right thigh, but she ignored it, maintaining her concentration. The krogan went down slowly, but they did eventually die. 

No more enemies came from the room, so she lowered her rifle and turned to check on her duo. “Any injuries?” 

“I regenerate,” Wrex told her before walking off to examine the fallen krogan. 

“Nothing that got through my armour,” Alenko said. “What about you, Shepard?” 

She checked herself over, examining the gap between her hard torso plates and her leg plates where she'd felt a hit. There wasn't a hole though, so the durable fabric-type covering had held. “Nope, all good. Let's go turn off that transmitter.” 

They walked side by side down the tunnel, Wrex joining them as they passed. She found the large device in a small room at the back, and opened fire on it. She kept shooting her pistol until she was sure it was irreparably damaged. 

They headed back up to Zhu's Hope to report to Fai Dan. As they passed the people supervising the various shortages, she informed them of what she had done. The woman managing the water already knew it was on, and she thanked the commander profusely. The lady trying to repair the generator looked over the power cells Shepard had found and said that she could make them work, and the man in charge of food started readying a team to collect varren. 

Fai Dan also thanked her for clearing out the geth, but Arcelia was still displeased. “They'll come back. They always come back,” she said bitterly. 

“Well, maybe if we knew what they were after, why they came here in the first place, we could figure out a way to keep them from coming back all the time.” 

“How should we know? They're just stupid machines, it's not like we can ask them and they'll give us an answer,” Arcelia spat back. 

Fai Dan cut in, trying to head off his second's impending explosion. “We don't know that, Commander. We do know that their main base is at the ExoGeni Headquarters nearby.” 

“Alright, well I guess we can look for answers there while we get rid of them for you.” 

“Thank you, Commander. The skyway will take you straight there, but I suggest that you don't go on foot. Hopefully your ship has some kind of ground vehicle?” 

“It does.” 

“There's a tunnel wide enough from the docking bay that will lead you out of this building onto the skyway. I don't think you can miss it.” 

“I'll report back here when I'm done over there. By the way, there was a man down in the tunnels. He didn't seem well, but I couldn't get him to come back up here.” 

“Ian, yes. Don't worry about him, Commander, we have it under control,” Fai Dan responded. 

“Will he be alright down there?” Shepard asked, concerned. 

“He said we have it under control!” Arcelia snapped. 

Shepard's face was cool with minimal expression as she turned her head slowly to regard the woman. Their eyes locked, the fire in Arcelia's gaze warring with the ice in Shepard's. The tension built palpably until Fai Dan cleared his throat, startling Arcelia, who glanced at him, and breaking the moment. 

“Thank you again, Commander. We'll be here, trying to reorganize and starting to rebuild. I look forward to seeing you again,” he said. 

Shepard nodded once at him, her frigidity only tempered slightly, did a sharp about-face, and walked away with all the military bearing her eleven year career had filled her with, Alenko and Wrex walking resolutely behind her. 

Kaidan wanted to ask if she was alright, but understood that this was not the moment to do so. All he really knew was that he never wanted Shepard to look at him the way she had looked at that woman. 

The skyway was crawling with geth, small ones behind shields and barriers, large four-legged ones shooting blasts of blue energy at them. The team was in the Mako, Shepard driving as usual, with Alenko on the cannon, and Wrex on the machine gun. Halfway to the headquarters they started picking up radio chatter, one half of a conversation about a woman named Lizbeth who was left behind in the building. The speaker was her mother, worried that she was already dead from the geth and the krogan. 

As they made a detour into the basement of a highrise, the signal grew stronger and less broken. Shepard noticed a small tunnel off to the side, and parked the Mako to investigate on foot. A sizable group of people were hiding down there, including Lizbeth's mother. The man in charge refused to give any useful information, and didn't even want Shepard to go into the ExoGeni building, except that it was undeniably necessary. He had also apparently told everyone else that the people at Zhu's Hope were already dead. 

They got back into the Mako, and continued on their way through that building and back out onto the skyway. The ExoGeni building was directly in front of them, but more geth had blockades set up. They drove through as quickly as they could, more random comm channel traffic being picked up, but from a different pocket of people. Finally, they made it to the ground level of the ExoGeni. 

They exited the Mako, rechecked their weapons and armour, then headed quietly inside. Geth were waiting for them, of course, but they went down under the team's joint fire. Shepard checked the perimeter, and found that the main way through was blocked by a blue energy field, but not a Prothean one like she'd seen before. The only other way to continue was a jump down a hole in the ground that lead under the building. 

“That's a one-way trip, Shepard,” Alenko warned. 

“We'll figure it out later,” Shepard replied, leaping down. _Tunnels are the theme of the day,_ she thought to herself, walking down yet another one into a large open space. As soon as she cleared the exit point, a shot ricocheted off her shielding. It came from her right, and she lifted her rifle and turned smoothly, ready to fire on whatever had tried that. She lowered her weapon after a moment, realizing it was a woman in scientist's clothing. The woman did the same. 

“I'm so sorry! I thought you were one of those geth, or a varren.” she said. 

“Are you Lizbeth Baynham?” Shepard asked, removing her helmet. 

“Yes. What are you doing here?” 

“Taking care of your geth infestation. What are you doing here?” 

“I got trapped. I stayed behind to back up data while everyone else escaped. Stupid, really. By the time I tried to get out, the ship had already latched on and the power went out.” 

“We'll get you out as soon as we find out what the geth are after.” 

“It's not the geth, it's the force fields. They put them up to keep anyone else from getting access to—” Lizbeth cut herself off, not wanting to say more. 

Shepard quietly ground her teeth in frustration. Something was obviously going on around here, and no one would tell her what it was. “It's very important that I find out what the geth are after; it's the main priority for me coming to this planet.” 

“I can't say for certain, but I think they're interested in the Thorian.” 

“What's a 'Thorian'?” Alenko asked. 

“An indigenous plant-life. ExoGeni was studying it, but I don't think they discovered anything important. I really don't know much, I'm only a research assistant.” 

“This wasn't in any of the reports I was given,” Shepard stated. 

“Really? That's odd.” Lizbeth said. “I don't know why they'd leave it out.” 

“What can you tell me about it?” 

“Like I said, I don't know much. It's very old, thousands of years old. And I think there's only one, but I don't know why the geth would be interested in it. Listen, I'll help you the best I can, if only you get me out of here first. I don't even know if my mother made it out alive.” Tears welled up in her eyes, the stress getting to her as her adrenaline ebbed. 

“She did, don't worry. That's how I knew your name. She asked us to look for you,” Shepard soothed. “So, do you have any suggestions for dropping the shields?” 

“No, but I think the geth ship is powering them. I saw the geth laying power cables everywhere. You could follow them, but those synthetics are all over the place.” 

“Alright. You stay here out of danger, and we'll take care of the geth and the shielding.” 

“Here, take my badge. It'll get you through any locked doors.” Lizbeth handed over a palm-sized plastic card with her job title, name, and picture on it. 

“Thanks. We'll be back soon.” 

As they headed across the dirt-filled space under the building, a pack of varren came from the shadows to attack. They died quickly, and Shepard found a door in the far corner that unlocked itself as they approached. It opened onto a stairwell which only led up, but she could here voices coming from the next floor. She motioned for silence and crept slowly closer, her rifle ready in her hands. 

When she got high enough to peek into the adjoining room, she could see a krogan arguing with a VI Interface who was refusing to divulge classified information to someone without clearance. She must have triggered a proximity sensor, because the VI asked the krogan to step aside to allow the other people waiting their chance to use its services. Great, she thought sarcastically, hitting the krogan with her Overload as he turned around and roared at the intruders. 

She sped up the stairs, allowing Alenko and Wrex the space to aim and fire from the landing beside her. The krogan rushed her, but she was ready. She waited until the last moment, then leapt sideways tucking into a protective roll around her weapon, and coming up on one knee, prepared to fire again. Alenko had their attacker in the air with his biotics, and Wrex was firing his assault rifle at close range into his face. Shepard joined their onslaught, continuing to shoot even after he had fallen to the ground, afraid that he would regenerate. 

After a sufficient amount of time expending bullets, she stopped and approached the VI terminal. “ExoGeni Corporation would like to remind all staff that discharging of weapons on company property is strictly forbidden,” it said in its smooth, masculine, only slightly robotic voice. “Welcome back, Research Assistant Elizabeth Baynham, what can I do for you?” Its sensors had noticed the card. 

“What information was the last user attempting to access?” Shepard asked. 

“Fetching data. The last user was attempting to access details on the study of Subject Species Thirty-Seven, the Thorian.” 

“Please tell me everything you told the krogan.” 

“I was unable to provide him with any detailed information. As well as lacking proper clearance, there has been no new data available on Species Thirty-Seven. All sensors monitoring the observation post at Zhu's Hope have been inactive for several cycles.” 

“What does Zhu's Hope have to do with the Thorian?” Shepard asked, her stomach sinking. This was not going to be good. 

“Species Thirty-Seven is located within the substructure of the Zhu's Hope outpost.” 

“Tell me everything you know about the Thorian.” 

“Species Thirty-Seven is a simple plant life-form that exhibits sentient behaviour uncommon with other flora. Through dispersion and the eventual inhalation of spores, it can infect and control other organisms, including humans. The Zhu's Hope control group has yielded interesting results. Before sensors went offline, almost eighty-five percent of all test subjects were infected.” 

“Control group? ExoGeni knew the colony was being infected, and instead of saving them or moving them, they decided to watch? To wait and see what happened?” Shepard balled her fists in fury, her armour creaking in protest at being pulled so tight. 

“It was deemed necessary to assess the true potential of Species Thirty-Seven,” the VI explained. 

“So that's why they were acting more stupid than typical humans,” Wrex said. 

Shepard ignored his comment, focusing instead on getting all the information she could from the VI. “How was it discovered?” 

“Species Thirty-Seven was discovered several weeks ago when a small team was infected with spores while examining ruins near the Zhu's Hope outpost. The outpost was quarantined immediately, and study of the infection began. Within twenty-one days, fifty-eight percent of the colonists exhibited altered behaviour. Within twenty-eight days, eighty-five percent.” 

Shepard had to unclench her jaw. “Do you know how it controls its...slaves?” The word left a bad taste in her mouth, but it was the most accurate. 

“The will-subversion manifests as intense pain if directives are ignored. The effect is severe enough that subjects are soon conditioned against even minor thoughts of rebellion. Observation suggests the Thorian views its thralls in a utilitarian way. Care is apparently taken to avoid injuring them, much as a craftsman avoids damaging his tools. As long as no action is taken against the creature's objectives, the subjects are free to pantomime a normal existence until specifically tasked with something.” 

_'Free to pantomime'? That's like being free to do what it makes you do. This thing has to die, and any others like it. Slavery._ Shepard involuntarily shuddered at that word. This conversation was making her sick. “Are there any others, or is this the only one?” 

“ExoGeni has not discovered the existence of any similar life-form on this planet.” 

_Well, at least there's some good news._ “How large is this thing?” she asked. 

“It appears to be a diffused creature. Its cognitive abilities are centered in large nerve bundles, but it receives data from kilometers of meandering tendrils. We have discovered bundles one meter in diameter, but these seem insufficient to coordinate the massive sensory potential it possesses. It may simply process such stimulation slowly, or perhaps there is a nerve cluster of a greater magnitude we have not yet encountered.” 

Shepard imagined following all those separate tendrils to multiple nerve bundles to destroy them one by one. “Do you know where the center is?” _It seems like the logical place to start. Hopefully, it will be more dense there, or maybe it'll contain the one main nerve cluster, if there is one._

“Species Thirty-Seven is present as a weave of tendrils across much of the lower surface of Feros. Observation of enslaved subjects suggests there may be key clusters that are tended by thralls. Unfortunately, direct observation of Species Thirty-Seven is limited or non-existent.” 

_Because somehow, certain people are more worthy to control their own minds than others,_ she thought angrily. 

“You should contact Joker,” Alenko said. 

Shepard nodded in agreement, and pressed the button on the side of her helmet to access her comm. “Joker. Come in, Joker.” She waited, but got no response. The unit sounded like it was off. “That energy field is blocking all communications.” 

“We need to drop that shield and get back to Zhu's Hope,” Alenko suggested instead. 

“VI, what can you tell me about the geth ship and the field its generating?” Asking was worth a shot. 

“I have limited data on the geth. They have effectively blocked all sensors within the facility. I have detected unusual power fluctuations, but I am unable to determine the source.” 

Shepard sighed, and stepped away from the terminal. “That's enough for now.” 

“Going to standby mode.” The hologram disappeared. 

Shepard led her team the only way visible; up a flight of stairs, through a hallway, and down a different flight of stairs. Most of the rooms along the way were shut, with no power being supplied to allow them to open. The stairs ended in a jumbled mess, in a room that contained two of the ship's claws. She thought there were geth bodies lying on the floor, but upon closer inspection, she realized they were bowing down to a brightly glowing orb that was behind some metal pillars. 

_Praying? Worshipping? I thought they were only machines, VIs that became just enough AIs to become uncontrollable, not sentient enough to deify anything, Shepard thought, confused. Maybe it's just a coincidence they're set up like that? Maybe they're in standby mode, and that's a source of energy; they're refueling?_ She shook her head, clearing it. Whatever they were doing, they were blocking the only route. She signaled her team, and readied her weapon. Taken unaware, the geth went down before they could even rise. 

Shepard jumped down to the open floorspace, and examined the glowing orb. There was nothing substantial there, it was just a ball of light. And like regular electromagnetic waves, she could stick her hand right through it. It felt very warm, even through her armour, but that was it. No tingling sensation, no pain. 

“There's no light source,” Alenko said from her shoulder. 

“It's just like very bright sunlight,” she replied, watching her hand in the sphere. She took it out, and turned her helmeted face toward his. “Very warm, but no strange physical effects.” 

They stared in silence at each other, each behind their mask of darkly tinted, battle-grade plastic, until Wrex said, “Are we going to do this, or what?” 

They both turned toward him as one, both embarrassed by the unprofessional moment. Shepard remembered that the last time she'd had Wrex on her squad, he'd had to say something to her because she'd been verbally sparring with Garrus instead of focusing on the mission. _I'll bet he thinks I'm a completely incompetent commander. **And** I'll bet he thinks that I have uncontrollably raging hormones, that all I want to do is procreate. Great. Way to show the world how wonderful humans can be, Commander,_ she thought disgustedly at herself. She walked past the krogan, headed into a corridor that was filled with rubble, silently telling herself to pull her head out of her ass. 

They eventually found themselves peeking around a corner at three krogan discussing something. If they were on guard, whatever was in there must be important. She nodded at her team over her shoulder, trusting in their abilities, then turned back around, readying her omni-tool. She let her Overload hit the nearest one just as Wrex opened fire beside her. All three turned and began charging down the hall. Shepard hit another with her Sabotage before setting the scope to her eye and squeezing the trigger. 

One went flying through the air, thanks to Alenko, and the first one fell under Wrex's onslaught, down but not dead. Shepard concentrated on the last one, who was blocked momentarily by his comrade's body. She fired steadily as he shot back, but the corner and her shielding protected her from his inaccurate assault rifle. Wrex's bullets joined her own, and soon he was down. She checked on Alenko's target, but he was dead as well, his body flung farther down the hall by his biotic attack. 

She checked the room they'd been guarding, but couldn't find anything more valuable than a decent set of krogan armour and a few low-quality guns. Knowing better than to try and carry a set of armour with them, Wrex stripped down and donned the new set quickly, leaving his behind. Shepard holstered the guns, hoping to sell them. One of the terminals contained the data that an ExoGeni employee had asked her to get, so she copied it to the OSD he'd given her for the purpose. They walked back the way they'd come, to where they'd passed another open corridor. 

The hallway led to a room teeming with geth of all kinds, but after taking down three krogan, it seemed that they died too quickly. These were also guarding a room, but this one contained something infinitely more valuable. One of the legs from the ship was sticking through a large, open shuttle bay door, and the controls for said door were located on the wall. An idea emerging in her mind, Shepard walked to the terminal and examined it. Someone had left a note stating that the door had been malfunctioning, specifically when the PSI was between thirty-one and thirty-four. It also said that in that small range, it would slam shut so hard it would shear a solid metal I-beam. An evil grin spread over her face, unbeknownst to her teammates, and she fiddled with the valves before hitting the button that would close the door. 

It performed exactly as the memo said it would, and cut the leg off the ship. The building began to shake as the ship lost its fight with gravity and was ripped away from its hold. Shepard opened the door again, and she and Alenko ran over to watch it fall into the fog. Wrex followed less enthusiastically, just wanting to make sure the job was done. He wasn't driven by twisted voyeuristic tendencies like the humans. 

As soon as the power cables were ripped from their power source, the energy fields dissipated, and their link with the Normandy was reestablished. Joker's voice started coming through. “I repeat, Normandy to shore party. Come in shore party. Do you copy? Can you hear me, Shepard? Please respond.” 

“We've got you loud and clear, Joker. We passed by an energy shield that was blocking all communications, but we got the drop on the geth, and everyone is fine and accounted for,” Shepard answered. She could hear Alenko snickering at her joke behind her, and she grinned behind her helmet. “What's your status?” 

“We're in lockdown. Something happened to the colonists. They're banging on the hull, trying to claw their way inside the ship. They're freaking out!” 

“They can't do any real damage. Just hold your position, we're on our way back.” 

“Uh, yeah, okay. We'll wait for you here. Normandy out.” 

Shepard led her team back down all the flights of stairs and around the way they had came until they ran into Lizbeth waiting for them right where the energy shield had been. 

“There you are! We should leave, I don't think it's safe here,” she greeted them. 

“We're safe for the moment. Long enough for you to explain to me why you didn't tell me the truth about the Thorian. If the VI gave me access to all that information under your name, then you would have known about it,” Shepard said. 

“I'm sorry. I-- I was afraid. I wanted to stop the tests, but they threatened me, told me I'd be next. When the geth attacked, I stayed behind to send a message to Colonial Affairs. I tried to tell them where to find the Thorian, but the power cut off before I could it. I never meant for this to happen.” The research assistant hung her head in shame. 

“You did what you could, Lizbeth. I'll help the colonists, if you tell me where the Thorian is.” 

“It's under Zhu's Hope, but the entrance is blocked. The colonists covered it with a freighter before the geth attacked.” 

“But why are the geth after the Thorian? What could Saren want with it?” The last was directed more to herself than to Lizbeth, who wouldn't know who Saren was. 

“Well, it does have unique mind-control capabilities. That's what ExoGeni was interested in.” 

“Normandy to shore party,” Joker's voice cut in over the comm. 

“Shore party here,” Shepard responded. 

“We're picking up a lot of geth comm traffic. It looks like a large group of them is headed your way.” 

“Thanks for the heads-up, Joker. Shepard out.” She dropped her hand from the button on the side of the helmet, and refocused on Lizbeth. “Let's get back to the Mako. I'll take you to your mother; I think it's pretty safe where they're hiding.” 

They got back in the ground vehicle, Lizbeth strapped in behind Alenko and Wrex, and took off for the basement hideout of the other ExoGeni employees. There were more geth along the way, just like Joker had said, but Shepard just plowed through them, not bothering to let her team kill more than was necessary. 

As they entered the building and made their way down the three floors of ramps, they picked up radio chatter, again from the ExoGeni hideout. “Is there anybody? Is there anybody out there? We need help!” 

“That's my mother!” cried Lizbeth. 

A masculine voice could be heard coming through from nearby the woman. “What are you doing? Get away from that radio!” and then the chatter stopped. 

She skidded to a stop at the entrance to the refuge, and Lizbeth jumped out before anyone else had even unfastened their harnesses. Shepard followed quickly. 

As they made their way down the slope, they could hear people arguing. Lizbeth was hiding behind a crate, watching, and Shepard motioned her team to stay back as she joined the woman in a crouch. 

“You can't do this, Jeong!” yelled Lizbeth's mother, Juliana. She was talking to the man in charge of this little group, the one highest up in the ExoGeni Corporation. 

“Everybody just shut up! Let me think!” he shouted, his hands on his head in exasperation. It was the same voice from the radio. 

“What's going on?” Lizbeth whispered to Shepard, so she missed what happened next. She shrugged her shoulders in reply, then turned back to see a man restrain Juliana from behind and start to haul her away. 

“You won't get away with this!” Juliana called, struggling to break free. 

“Get her out of here!” Jeong said. 

Lizbeth, worried for her mother, stood up and ran down the slope calling, “Get away from her, you son of a bitch!” Shepard sighed and shook her head. 

Juliana broke free and ran to her daughter. “Lizbeth!” 

“Damn it! Come out where I can see you! All of you!” Jeong hollered up the entryway. Shepard motioned to her team, and they all rose and walked down into the large room. She removed her helmet as she walked. “Shepard. Damn it. I guess it was too much to hope the geth would kill you.” 

She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at this from Jeong. “Oh?” she asked. 

“I found some interesting data on you in the ExoGeni database. I know what you did during the blitz, but your heroics aren't needed here.” 

“We can talk this out instead. No one needs to get hurt.” Shepard's voice was silky smooth, but Alenko tensed, wary. That tone wasn't harmless; it was dangerous. 

“You don't understand. It's not that easy. Communications are back up, and ExoGeni wants this place purged.” 

_Purged?_ Before Shepard could say anything, Lizbeth cut in, “This is a human colony, Jeong! You can't just re-purpose us!” 

“It's not just you! There's something here far more valuable than a few colonists,” he said. 

Shepard's gaze was like shards of ice as it bored into Jeong's eyes. “You want the Thorian. The one unique thing Feros has.” 

“The what?” asked Juliana. 

“It's uh, a telepathic life-form living under Zhu's Hope,” Lizbeth explained to her mother contritely. “It's taking control of the colonists there. ExoGeni knew all along.” 

“You won't get away with this,” Juliana restated. 

“So you keep saying, but no one is going to miss a few colonists,” Jeong answered. 

As much as Shepard didn't want to leave a man like this in charge, she couldn't justify killing him because he was trying to follow orders, even as maligned as they were. Maybe there was a way to convince him to take a different course of action. She studied the leader a moment, then knew what to say. “Can't you see the inherent potential in this colony? Think of the promotional opportunities,” she enticed. 

“Opportunities? What the hell are you talking about?” Jeong didn't understand, but he was listening. 

“If they recover from an alien attack on a frontier world, you can add that to your company profile,” she explained. 

“Well...yeah... No one's ever gone broke playing 'The Champion of Humanity' card.” 

“Sadly, you'd probably make a killing,” Juliana said. “But if it will let us get back to our lives, I'm for it.” 

“It just might work. Wait, no, but the infected colonists will throw a bit of a wrench in that plan. No, no, they need to disappear,” Jeong said, shaking his head. 

“You can't just kill the colonists, it's not their fault.” argued Juliana. 

“If you kill only the Thorian, it might be enough to stop the infection. Maybe,” Lizbeth put in. 

Shepard was hopeful at this suggestion. “Sounds logical. It's worth a try at least. But I'm not sure how to get around the people without injuring them.” 

“There has to be a way!” Lizbeth cried. 

“I think there is... You could use a nerve agent to neutralize the colonists.” Juliana proposed. 

“Like a gas grenade!” Lizbeth said. 

“Releasing clouds of nerve gas doesn't seem like a particularly good idea,” Alenko said skeptically. 

“It's not like it's weapons-grade,” Juliana clarified. “The insecticide we use in the grow-labs contains trace amounts of Tetraclopine, a neuromuscular degenerator. If their nervous systems are already weakened, it may act as a paralyzing agent.” 

“It might work,” Wrex rumbled. 

“Alright then, sounds good. I'll do what I can.” Shepard agreed, nodding. 

“Excellent. Thank you so much, Commander. I'll go get to work on the agent. It shouldn't take very long.” Juliana said over her shoulder as she walked off to a work table, followed by Lizbeth. 

While Shepard waited, she wandered around, checking on the other civilians. She gave the information she had downloaded on the OSD to the man who had asked for it, then checked on the Baynhams. They were almost done, but not quite. She left her grenades for them to modify, then went and sat on a crate away from everyone else. 

She laid her helmet next to her, and leaned back on her hands. Alenko and Wrex were close behind, and the krogan took up a guard position on her left, his assault rifle still menacingly in his hands where it had been the whole time. Alenko put his helmet down next to hers and leaned against the crate on her right, his body angled toward hers and his arms crossed casually. 

She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees, her hands dangling down between them. They met each other's eyes for a moment, but didn't say anything. Alenko tried to give her a comforting half-smile, but her answering smile was weak, and fell away quickly. She sighed to herself, and looked away over the scientists. His smile slid away as he watched her. What could he say? _'How about those krogan, Shepard? No critical injuries this time!' Completely idiotic. 'Boy, those geth sure were weird, bowing at that orb.' Nope, stupid._ He sighed dejectedly, and looked out at the people, but not really watching them. He always had such issues communicating, especially with women. 

Shepard didn't know what to say to Alenko. She was tired of always starting the conversations. Her heart just wasn't in it this time. This crap with people letting others become slaves, and then trying to put them down like they weren't even human... She was past being sick at it, she was dead and cold inside. The sooner she could be back on the Normandy, the better. She just wanted to take a hot shower and go to bed. 

Eventually, Juliana brought over the modified grenades. Shepard thanked her, and led her team back up to the Mako. They climbed in, and headed down the skyway back to Zhu's Hope. There were geth, but Shepard barely noticed them, her mind focused on getting past the colonists and destroying the Thorian. 

At the entrance to the building that housed the colony, she parked the vehicle, something strange huddled by the large door drawing her attention. As they climbed out, it stood up and ran towards them, long talons on the ends of its outstretched hands. While Shepard was debating on whether to use one of her limited special grenades on it, Alenko stepped in front of her and shot it with his pistol until it exploded in a large burst of green goo. She raised an eyebrow at his actions, but then looked down at the remains instead of saying anything. She couldn't see anything particularly human among the detritus. These weren't like the husks, humans modified during death. They were only facsimiles of humans, filled with spongy green material, but how they were created, or by whom, Shepard didn't know. 

She stepped over the corpse and opened the door. Someone had obviously been expecting them, because the whole open space was full of the same creatures. As the door slid up, they rose and began running toward them. She backed up a few paces, allowing Alenko and Wrex in front of her as she pulled out her sniper rifle. They were focused on the ones nearby, so Shepard targeted the ones in the back. Just one hit from her rifle made them explode, so even though there was a large group of them swarming their position, they were eliminated quickly. 

In the interlude, Shepard turned to her team. “Do not, under any circumstances, shoot at the colonists. I don't care if they're shooting at us, they're under the control of the Thorian. Their actions are not their own. We have shields, Barriers, armour, and training. There is cover available. In the event that I run out of gas grenades, you may knock them unconscious by hitting them _carefully_ over the head. If even a single colonist dies from one of our attacks, the guilty party will immediately be discharged from my service with dishonour, and I will leave them here. Have I made myself perfectly clear?” 

Alenko couldn't see her face through her helmet, but he was sure her eyes were as cold as the frozen tundra of northern Canada. “Yes, ma'am,” he said automatically. “Uh, Shepard,” he corrected quickly. 

Wrex nodded his agreement reluctantly. When Shepard didn't move, he said, “You have my word.” 

She nodded once in acknowledgment, and turned around, replacing her rifle with her pistol. “Move out.” 

As they entered the room, they began getting shot at by a group of colonists up the stairs near the elevator door. Shepard charged up the stairs, straight into the gunfire, and threw a grenade into the middle of the five people. It went off, and the thralls dropped unconscious, just like Juliana had guessed they would. She checked the location of her duo, and led them into the elevator. As it took them down, she checked over her grenades. She had five left. Hopefully, they would last. 

When the doors opened, three more of those creepers greeted them. They exploded quickly, and Shepard recognized where she was; at the top of the tower. There would probably be some colonists stationed behind cover, guarding the stairs down, like there had been before. She took a grenade out, but didn't press the button. As they neared the door, shots rang out, ricocheting off the wall up ahead. She nodded to herself, tucked and rolled into line of sight, throwing her grenade to land at the two people's feet as she came up on her knees in one smooth motion. They slumped immediately, and Shepard stood, then walked through the doorway. Four left. 

At the bottom of the stairs were more creepers, and she opened fire on them, her team joining her in the barrage. They ruptured into piles of slime on the stairs, and Shepard avoided stepping in them as she made her way down. When she rounded the corner, she could see creepers standing up in the open, and colonists behind cover with guns aimed at her team. The possibility of shooting one of the humans accidentally was too great, so she fired a shot into the ground just ahead of her, drawing more of the creepers her way. 

She retreated up the stairs, and made a stand halfway up, killing the things as they rounded the corner. The accumulation of remains at the bottom was quite large by the time the wave was disposed of, and Shepard reloaded her pistol and readied a grenade as she stepped through it. 

She ran forward, taking a few bullet hits to her shields, and chucked the grenade into the midst of people. They all got caught in the blast radius but one, and Shepard ran up and knocked him out with the butt of her pistol to the back of his head, but not before he dropped her failing shields with one more hit. 

More creepers were blocking the walkway around the freighter, with more colonists stationed at the end behind cover. She recognized the only salarian, who had been selling a pitiful selection of weapons before, as one of them. _So it's not just humans who can be affected by this thing,_ she thought, grimly taking out the creepers with her team. She slid her fourth grenade down the walkway to stop between the two there, which went off and dropped them to the ground. 

“My shields are down, how are you guys holding up?” She said over the helmet comm while reloading her pistol. 

“No damage,” Wrex said. 

“I'm fine, Shepard. You're the one taking all the hits,” Alenko responded. _Why don't you let me take lead and you can go back to sniping, like normal?_ he added silently in his head. 

Shepard didn't reply to that statement, but silently motioned them to follow her to the open space in front of the freighter. A large group of creepers were there, with colonists running back and forth between different pieces of cover behind them. She stepped behind cover herself, shooting at the green beings over the block. Alenko was beside her on the right, Wrex on the left, and they were all being careful where they placed their shots. Wrex had actually switched to a shotgun to avoid hitting any civilians with his assault rifle spray. 

After the creatures were destroyed, she threw one grenade to the right, and her last one to the left, covering both pockets of colonists. When no more bullets flew their way, she checked on them, and then the rest of the perimeter quickly. Who knew how long the gas would keep them out? As she headed for the crane controls she'd noticed earlier, Fai Dan came stumbling out from behind the freighter. 

“I tried to fight it, but it gets in your head. You can't imagine the pain,” he said, struggling to gasp out the words. 

Shepard noticed he had a gun in his hands, and raised hers to point at him, wary. She'd used up all her gas grenades, and he was too far away to rush before he could get off a shot. _Please don't make me do this,_ she thought. 

“I was supposed to be a leader,” he continued quietly. “These people trusted me.” He raised his heavy pistol to point at her, his second hand gripping the wrist of the first. “It wants me to stop you... but I... won't,” he forced out, raising the weapon slowly to point skyward. “I won't!” His hand jerked the gun down quickly and fired point blank into his right temple. The body fell to its knees before toppling over to lie in the dirt. 

A shocked silence filled the large space, feeling very empty to her. She quietly holstered her pistol before giving a moment of silence to the man who sacrificed himself to save his colony. Then she turned back to the crane controls to move the freighter off the entrance of the Thorian's lair. 

She led her team down the stairs and around, until they'd gone four floors under the colony, her sniper rifle ready in her hands. 

“So we kill the plant, and then we get out. Easy,” Wrex said as they turned the last corner. 

“Maybe my translator's broken, because I think I heard you say, 'easy',” Alenko said under his breath as they gaped at the immensely large being in front of them. It was suspended by thick tentacles in the large open space the floors were built around in this part of the building. Its main body stretched three floors up and more long tentacles hung down into the dark abyss below. 

“This is a plant?” Shepard asked no one in particular as she looked around and saw more thick tendrils of the plant weaving in and out of nearby rooms. 

A smaller part on the front of it, with shorter tentacles hanging over the floor right in front of them began to ooze a watery green slime. The tentacles began to move around, fanning out and pulling together as the slime poured out faster. Suddenly, a body fell out of the aperture, landing in a crouched position before them. As it rose, Shepard was shocked to see a green asari in commando gear standing before them. 

“Invaders! Your every step is a transgression. A thousand feelers appraise you as meat, good only to dig or decompose. I speak for the Old Growth, as I did for Saren. You are within and before the Thorian. It commands that you be in awe!” the strange asari spoke, its eyes glinting dangerously. 

“You gave something to Saren. Something I need,” Shepard said. 

“Saren sought knowledge of those who are gone. The Old Growth listened to flesh for the first time in the Long Cycle. Trades were made. Then cold ones began killing the flesh that would tend the next cycle. Flesh fairly given! The Old Growth sees the air you push as lies! It will listen no more!” 

It took Shepard a moment to figure out what the emissary was saying, but it seemed that Saren had promised the colonists to the Thorian in exchange for knowledge about the Protheans, then betrayed it by sending geth to wipe out all human life. 

“I won't let you keep the colonists! Let them go! Now!” she demanded. 

“No more will the Thorian listen to those that scurry. Your lives are short, but have gone on too long. Your blood will feed the ground and the new growth!” the asari intoned as it hit them with a biotic blast. 

Suddenly, creepers began pouring out from nearby rooms to join the commando in their fight to protect the Thorian. Shepard caught the asari in her Overload, then quickly followed it with her Damping, taking out its shields and its biotics. Alenko was Throwing groups of the creepers over the balcony on her left, and Wrex was spraying the knot of them on her right, while she concentrated her fire on the commando. When her teammates were done with their targets, they helped her with hers. 

After the asari was down, she looked around for a thick tentacle to sever. There was one in the next room, so she headed there and directed her squad to open fire on this unprotected part of the Thorian. It had a strange bulge where it attached to the wall, and she wondered if it was a nerve bundle as well. When it gave way, she could hear the quasi-plant cry out, and then she heard the voice of the asari commando coming from up above. 

_Another one?_ she thought, as she ran up a slope of dirt and around a corner. Sure enough, there was, with more creepers running around. Her team used the same tactics they'd used before, except that Shepard had to retreat back around a wall to allow her shields to regenerate. This asari clone had been faster with her pistol, and had managed to graze her right side with a bullet, slicing open the fabric of her armour there. Her suit automatically released medi-gel as it recognized her blood, even though the wound wasn't deep. 

Shepard came back around the corner in full force, releasing her Sabotage at the clone. While it was stunned, she shot three bullets into its head, knocking it against a wall where it slumped. The creepers were only puddles on the ground, so she found another supportive tendril with a neural node to destroy. 

They continued on, looking for more bundles to maim, while waves of creepers poured out from every corner to converge on them. Shepard had to switch to her pistol, the enemies being too close and fast to allow her time to aim and reload her sniper. Alenko continued tossing groups of them over the edge, but even with that, they'd still get close enough to spray their noxious liquid out of their mouths all over them. It was probably full of the spores that would allow the Thorian to control them, but their helmets had excellent filters, so her team was safe from that, at least. 

Another asari clone showed up just as they finished with the creepers, and the whole team was able to focus their firepower, biotics, and tech skills on the reoccurring formidable foe. She went down, but not before breaking through Alenko's shields. They took a short breather, allowing everything to come back online and to reload their weapons. 

Shepard forged ahead, looking for the next tentacle. While she was tearing through it with her bullets, more creepers came, stronger and faster than the previous ones. Alenko and Wrex covered her as best they could, but just as one was about to grab her and latch on, Alenko shoved her out of the way and punched it in the face. It exploded all over him, but he just planted his feet in front of Shepard and let loose with a large push of biotic power, shoving the remaining creepers back. Shepard didn't know whether to feel grateful or pissed as she picked herself up off the ground, so she pushed the incident from her mind and finished severing the node, stepping around the Lieutenant. 

Up and around they went, until they came to a staircase. Creepers were running down toward them, another commando in their midst. They ended up backed into a corner, as one after another creeper tried to claw through their armour. Eventually they were all eliminated, her team thoroughly covered in a coating of green slime, but the clone was still out there. They reloaded and rushed out, all firing together. Shepard stunned it with a Sabotage, and Wrex hit it with his Warp. When that wore off, Alenko was ready with his Lift, and they finished it off while it was still airborne. 

Shepard was breathing hard now, her left side aching with every step, her feet slipping on the ooze as they climbed the stairs to the next level. How many more tentacles would it take before that thing fell to its death? They found another node and destroyed it before more creepers overwhelmed them, and then yet another asari showed up, screaming about their deaths. Shepard was getting worn out, the enemies all blurring into one another. She just kept pushing, just kept fighting, just kept going, her team right with her. 

Finally, the last tentacle they needed to bisect fell away, and the large plant-being fell to its death, too far down for Shepard to see. She bent over, resting her hands on her knees and breathing hard. Her eyes focused on the pistol in her hand, which was dripping green goo into a little puddle by her boots. Her whole body was smeared with the stuff, little scratches marring the hard surface here and there, rips and tears through the material sections, blood crusted around the edges. 

After a moment, she stood up and put her gun away, turning to look over her team. Alenko and Wrex both looked much the same as her, beat up and slimy, breathing hard, but alive. She heard something wet hit the ground behind her, and she turned to see an asari standing up, this one an unusual purple colour. It had come from a pod on the wall that was now ripped open, dripping viscous fluid on the ground. 

“Free! I'm free!” the asari said. It looked just like the ones that had been attacking them, except for its colour and the look in its eyes. “I suppose I should thank you for releasing me,” it said to them. 

“Are you... alright? Are you hurt?” Shepard asked, a little confused by this turn of events. It was hard to bring her mind out of the haze of battle to focus on conversations. She took her helmet off, sweat making loose wisps of hair stick to her cheeks and forehead. 

“I am fine. Or I will be, in time. My name is Shiala. I serve-- I served Matriarch Benezia. When she allied herself with Saren, so did I. She foresaw the influence Saren would have, so she joined him to guide him down a gentler path. But Saren is compelling, and Benezia lost her way.” 

“Are you saying that Saren can control minds?” 

“Benezia underestimated Saren, as did I. We came to believe in his cause and his goals. The strength of his influence is troubling,” Shiala answered. 

“So, she tried to manipulate Saren, but in the end, her plan backfired,” Alenko said. 

“Asari matriarchs are among the most intelligent and powerful beings in the galaxy. How could one fall under Saren's control?” Shepard asked. 

“Saren has a vessel. An enormous warship unlike anything I have ever seen. He calls it Sovereign, and it can dominate the minds of his followers. They become indoctrinated to Saren's will. The process is subtle. It can take days, weeks, but in the end, it is absolute. I was a willing slave when Saren brought me to this world. He needed my biotics to communicate with the Thorian, to learn its secrets. Saren offered me in trade. I was sacrificed to secure an alliance between Saren and the Thorian.” 

“Saren's pretty quick to betray his own people,” Shepard said, still disgusted with the ex-Spectre. 

“He was quick to betray the Thorian, too,” Shiala agreed. “After he had what he wanted, he ordered the geth to destroy all evidence of its existence. Saren knows you are after the Conduit. He knows you are following his steps. He attacked the Thorian so you could not gain the Cipher.” 

“What's the Cipher? Why did Saren need it?” 

“The beacon on Eden Prime gave you visions. But the visions are unclear, confused. They were meant for a Prothean mind.” 

Shepard nodded in understanding. This was exactly what Liara had said. 

“To truly comprehend them, you must think like a Prothean,” Shiala continued. “You must understand their culture, their history, their very existence. The Thorian was here long before the Protheans built this city. It watched and studied them. When they died, it consumed them, and they became a part of it.” 

“So, the Thorian taught Saren to think like a Prothean with the Cipher?” 

“Yes. The Cipher is the very essence of being a Prothean. It cannot be described or explained. It would be like describing a colour to a creature without eyes. To understand, you must have access to endemic ancestral memory. A viewpoint spanning thousands of Prothean generations. I sensed this when I melded with the Thorian. Our identities merged, our minds intertwined. Such knowledge cannot be taught; it simply exists.” 

“I need that knowledge to stop Saren!” 

“I can give it to you. I can transfer the knowledge from my mind to yours, as I did with Saren. I have to warn you, though. Shoving that much information into your brain all at once will not be comfortable.” 

Shepard could hear Alenko shift weight behind her, but she didn't hesitate. “Do it.” 

“Alright, Commander. Try to relax. Slow, deep breaths.” Shiala's voice took on a soothing, melodic quality. “Let go of your physical shell. Reach out to grasp the threads that bind us, one to another. Every action sends ripples across the galaxy. Every idea must touch another mind to live. Each emotion must mark another's spirit.” As she talked, she moved closer to Shepard until they were standing face to face. “We are all connected. Every living being united in a single, glorious existence. Open yourself to the universe, Commander. Embrace eternity!” 

The asari's head fell back, her eyes closed. When they opened again, they were entirely black, and Shepard thought, for just a moment, that she could see the pinpricks of stars in them. The vision from Eden Prime replayed through her mind in its horrifying entirety, but new depth and meaning had been added. She still couldn't grasp the full extent of its significance, though. When it was over, she opened her eyes and wavered, stumbling a little. Alenko caught her, one hand around her waist, one hand grasping her elbow and supported her until she regained her balance. Her head hurt like a bitch. 

“Are you alright?” he asked, concern clearly colouring his voice. 

“I'll be fine,” she answered, standing up. He let her go reluctantly. “It still doesn't make any sense,” she directed to Shiala. 

“You have been given a great gift: the experience of an entire people. It will take time for your mind to process the information,” she explained. 

“We should get you back to the ship, Shepard. You don't look well,” Alenko said. 

_I don't feel well,_ she thought as her stomach began roiling around. The stench of the place was not helping her keep her breakfast down. How long ago had breakfast been, anyway? 

“I am sorry if you have suffered, but there was no other way. You needed the Cipher, and in time it will help you understand the vision from the beacon,” Shiala apologized. 

Shepard nodded. That's why she'd agreed to it in the first place. “What are you planning on doing, now that you're free of the Thorian?” she asked, changing the subject. 

“I'd like to stay here and help the colonists. They have suffered greatly, and I played a role in their suffering. I'd like to make amends.” 

“They need all the help they can get right now. They'll be happy to have you on their side,” Shepard said, smiling weakly. “Let's head back.” 

The ExoGeni associates were at Zhu's Hope, helping with the reparations, and the colonists that had been gassed were up and moving around, free from the bonds that had had them enthralled. Everything was in capable hands and underway to be fixed, so Shepard said her goodbyes and wearily headed back to the Normandy, Alenko close by her side, but not touching, and Wrex guarding their backs.


	11. Kepler Verge

The Normandy's outer airlock hissed and clicked closed behind them as the decontamination cycle began. When the white bar of light slid over them, the jelly-like substance covering their armour began to dry and flake off. The loose fragments, along with any microscopic organisms in the room, were sucked into the air vents that had flash incinerators, then blown back outside. The decon didn't clean the armour entirely, dried patches remained here and there, but it did keep potentially dangerous contaminants from being introduced to the sterile environment of the ship. 

Shepard stepped through into the cockpit to be welcomed back by a harried pilot. One look at their condition though, and Joker had second thoughts about his choice of greeting, and only said, “Hey, Commander. Have a good time?” 

“Middling to fair,” she responded, taking off her helmet. “Turn on the intercom, please.” After Joker had complied she announced, “Shepard speaking. Ground team briefing in the comm room in five minutes. That will be all.” She nodded at the pilot, who turned it back off. Shepard headed down the walkway to the CIC, steady on her feet, her Commander mask firmly in place. She wanted her crew to see her as strong and capable, especially now after her two weeks in the medbay, and the wringer this mission had obviously put them all through. She nodded at those who met her eyes, not slowing her steps to talk. Kaidan and Wrex silently followed two steps behind, maintaining the indomitable presence she wanted to convey. 

After the comm room door slid shut behind them, Shepard discarded the façade and tiredly limped across the floor to slump into her chair, dropping her helmet beside her. Kaidan eased slowly down into the chair on her left, and Wrex sat in his seat farther around the circle. Shepard readjusted into a slightly more respectable position, wincing, before the door slid open to admit Garrus and Liara, who nodded their greetings before taking their seats. A moment later, Tali and Ashley arrived, finishing out the gathering. 

Once everyone had sat down, Shepard briefed them on the mission, explaining about the strange behaviour of the colonists, ExoGeni's cutthroat desire to gain knowledge, the Thorian, and the outcome of her interference. After she covered Saren's interest in the planet, she turned to address Liara. 

“I have some more information about your mother. There was an asari, Shiala, who was left behind by Saren as payment to the Thorian.” At the mention of the asari's name, Liara gasped, but Shepard continued. “She told us how she had worked for your mother, and when Benezia joined with Saren, she and many other followers did as well. She said that Benezia did so to turn Saren to a gentler path, to help guide him to a better way.” 

“I knew my mother could not have been trying to destroy the galaxy!” Liara affirmed. 

“Originally, no,” Shepard agreed. “But the ship, Sovereign, as Saren calls it, has some sort of ability to brainwash Saren's followers at his command. Shiala said it happened to her, to everyone aboard, and to your mother. She said that no one is capable of denying its power. So, she is helping Saren bring about the destruction of life as we know it, but not of her own free will.” 

“Isn't there anything we can do, Shepard?” Liara asked plaintively. 

“I don't know, but I'm willing to try. Shiala seemed like she was no longer under Saren's control, so maybe there is hope for your mother. If we can get her away from him, maybe she'll regain her autonomy.” 

Liara visibly relaxed at Shepard's suggestion. “I hope so. I'm relieved to hear that Shiala is safe. I remember her from when I was a child. She was always kind to me.” 

As Shepard was preparing to end the meeting, Joker's voice came on over the intercom. “I've sent the Feros report, Shepard. Do you want me to patch you through to the Council?” 

“Yes, Joker. You all are dismissed.” 

“Establishing the link,” he responded, as the room emptied of crew members. Shepard rose and walked to the holographic interface. 

“Commander. It's been a while. I see your mission is progressing. If ExoGeni had told us about the Thorian, it would have made your job much easier,” the asari Councilor greeted her, cutting right to the point. 

“You might have been able to capture it for study instead of killing it,” the salarian Councilor asserted. 

Shepard shook her head. “No, Councilors. Any sentient life form in its reach would have come under its control. Studying it was impossible, as the ExoGeni Corporation discovered.” 

“Perhaps it's for the best, then. At least the colony was saved,” the asari said. 

“Of course the colony was saved. Shepard would go to any lengths to save a human colony,” the turian Councilor spat scathingly. Shepard could hear his subvocals flanging disdain. 

“I would go to any lengths to save _any_ colony, Councilors. As you can tell by my _hand-picked_ crew, I don't play favourites.” Shepard placed her hands behind her back so they wouldn't see them clenching into fists. 

“Admirable,” the salarian Councilor said. “But sometimes Spectres have to make sacrifices. I hope you're willing to do that when the time comes.” 

Shepard lifted her chin resolutely. “I am well aware of the price of leadership.” 

“Goodbye, Commander. We look forward to your next report.” The asari Councilor reached a hand forward and pushed a button. 

The images winked out, and Shepard slumped forward, one hand going to her head, the other to the edge of the counter to support herself. Once the wave of nausea passed, she stood back up, grabbed her helmet, and started down to see Dr. Chakwas. 

\------------ 

Kaidan headed down to the cargo bay to clean his armour and weapons, with Wrex and Ashley sharing the elevator. He was exhausted, shaky, and had one serious migraine coming on. Nothing could have surprised him more than when Wrex turned to him and said, “Is Shepard your female?” While he gaped in dumbfounded shock, he heard Ashley snort and choke, trying to keep back her laughter. 

“What?” he blurted. It was the only word that managed to work its way through the faltering bit-stream in his brain. 

“Shepard. Is she your female?” Wrex reiterated. 

“Kaidan, what did you do?” Ashley asked, mirth shining in her eyes. 

“Uh...” He frowned in thought, trying to remember what happened planet-side. His cheeks started turning pink. “I stepped in front of Shepard and killed a creature that was running toward her?” The more he thought about the mission, the redder his face got. “I suggested she was being reckless?” His face was bright crimson with his next words. “I pushed her out of the way and punched a creeper in the face.” He hung his head in shame. _What the hell was I thinking?_

Ashley snorted again, and didn't hold back her laughter this time. “Kaidan, you noob. Shepard doesn't need protecting! Star of Terra, remember? N7 training? Top of her class? _Spectre_?” She looked around the embarrassed man to the krogan. “No, Wrex, Shepard is not his female. Shepard is no one's female. She's different. You should ask, 'Is Kaidan her male?' ” 

“Human females claim males? Is that why females fight too? It gives the battles a different flavour.” Wrex asked as the elevator doors opened onto the cargo bay. Kaidan stepped out first, heading directly to the work table without looking back. His face was still red. 

Ashley followed him, sauntering, her hands on her hips. “Yeah, Kaidan, do females claim males in our culture? _Has_ Shepard claimed you?” 

“Not that I know of,” he mumbled in reply, laying his pistol on the table and beginning to remove his armour. 

“But you want her to!” Ashley laughed, elbowing him as she passed, and began to dismantle Kaidan's weapon for cleaning and inspection. “Wrex, think of male and female humans as equal. It'll just be easier and safer that way.” 

Wrex grunted in reply, and stripped down to his underarmour. 

Kaidan silently counted down the seconds before he could escape this torturous questioning and get to the safety of his bunk. He needed some peace and quiet to think of a way to head off any consequences from his poor decisions during the mission. 

\------------ 

Shepard plodded down the curving stairs to the second level. As she made her way around the wall, she could see Garrus and Tali attempting to improve their dextro-amino MREs, but the mess was empty other than them. She limped slowly to the medbay, and brushed her hand on its glowing panel. 

“Shepard. I thought you might be dropping by.” Dr. Chakwas spun her chair around to face the Commander. 

“I think I'm alright, generally, but I had an... experience with an asari planet-side, and my head hurts so badly it's making me nauseous.” Shepard spoke as she walked past the doctor, placing her grimy helmet on the desk, and sagging to sit on the bed. 

“Was it a melding?” 

“Yes. She needed to transfer a lot of information quickly, to help me interpret the visions I received from the beacon. She said it would be uncomfortable while my subconscious sorted through it all, but I thought you could give me some painkillers in the meantime.” 

While Dr. Chakwas thought this over with pursed lips, the door to the storage room hissed open. “I'm sorry to intrude, but I couldn't help but overhear. I am an expert in the Protheans, and perhaps if we joined consciousnesses I could help you understand the visions more quickly,” Liara said, shyly stepping through. 

Shepard looked from the asari to the doctor, waiting to see what the medical professional would say. 

“Perhaps,” Dr. Chakwas agreed slowly. 

“Alright, Liara. It can't hurt to try.” Shepard rose as the archeologist came to stand in front of her. 

“Relax, Shepard, and Embrace Eternity!” Liara opened her eyes, and they were solid black. 

For the second time that day, she relived the beacon's message and the Cipher. It was hard to concentrate on the disturbing images, even though she could feel Liara guiding her along through them. She just wanted to escape them for a little while, to relax in peaceful, happy thoughts. _Like Garrus._ She could see his face, his un-visored eye tilted toward her, his mandibles wide in an easy grin. _No. The Protheans. Now is the time to focus on the Protheans. Think of Garrus later._ She frowned and wrenched her mind back to the vision, where she could feel Liara trying to continue on. Eventually, they broke apart. 

Shepard didn't know if she felt any better or not, but maybe having an expert see what she saw could bring the bigger picture into focus. She blinked her eyes, and looked at Liara, who seemed very excited. 

“That was incredible! All this time. All my research. Yet I never dreamed... I'm sorry. The images were so vivid. I never imagined the experience would be so... intense. You are remarkably strong-willed, Shepard. What you've been through, what you've seen, would have destroyed a lesser mind.” 

“Did you see anything?” asked Dr. Chakwas, hovering nearby. 

“The beacon on Eden Prime must have been badly damaged. Large parts of the vision are missing. The data transferred into Shepard's mind is incomplete,” Liara shrugged, explaining. 

“Are you sure you didn't come across any kind of clue or hint? Something we might have missed?” Shepard asked. 

“Everything I saw you already know. You were right about the Reapers. The Protheans were destroyed by a race of sentient machines. I think it's obvious there's a connection between the Reapers, the Prothean extinction, and the Conduit. But I didn't see anything that would help us find it.” 

Shepard sighed, rubbing her temples. “So, now what?” 

“I was able to interpret the data relayed through your vision. What was there, at least. But something was missing. Saren must have the missing information. Maybe he found another beacon. If we can find the missing data from your vision, I can-- oh!” Liara cut off as she wavered, losing her balance. She regained her equilibrium quickly, one hand going to her head. “I'm sorry. The joining is... exhausting the first few times. Or so I've heard. I should go lie down for a little bit.” 

“Wait, you've never done that before?” Shepard asked, concerned. 

“No. While I am fairly young, I also tend to prefer seclusion. But I certainly won't regret that my first time was to help a great cause.” 

“Dr. Chakwas, could you examine her?” 

“That won't be necessary. I just need some rest. Somewhere quiet. Please, excuse me.” Liara backed away, waving the doctor off. She retreated to the solitude of her room. 

“Did it help your symptoms any?” the doctor asked her, after Liara's door slid shut. 

“No, but I don't think it made it any worse.” 

“I'll give you a dose of the analgesics I give Kaidan when he has one of his migraines. If it's so bad you're nauseous, then I think it's necessary. Take them, and go lie down somewhere dark and quiet. If the nausea subsides and you feel hungry, eat something light, then lie back down until the pain is completely gone. Don't clean your armour, dismantle your guns, or try to do any research. It can all wait. Rest only. Clear?” 

“Clear. And thanks.” 

Shepard took the proffered pills, then headed to her room. She waved vaguely at Garrus and Tali as she passed, but didn't stop. In her cabin, she set the lights to dim and stripped off her armour and underarmour. She turned on her shower for a quick wash, and afterward wrapped one towel around her hair and another around her torso like a strapless dress. The medicine was starting to make her drowsy. She lay down on her bed, intending to put on a tank top and shorts to retire in, but fell asleep before she could find the energy to stand back up. 

Riela didn't awake again until her alarm went off at 0600. She slapped at her wrist, then rolled over, confused about her surroundings. The towels had come undone during the night, but the automated thermostat had made sure she was kept comfortably warm. Her head didn't hurt anymore, but her left side was tender and she was covered in scratches, some deeper than others. As she sat up, her stomach rumbled loudly; she was ravenous. 

She dressed quickly, brushed the kinks and knots out of her hair, putting it up, then headed to the mess for breakfast, stepping over her filthy armour on the way. The longer she was awake, the better she felt. She couldn't remember the last time she'd gotten such restful sleep. Maybe the joining with Liara had done more good than she had originally thought. She wolfed down two MREs and a cup of coffee before anyone else was up, then headed back to her cabin. 

She checked her messages on her private terminal, then set about restoring her weapons and armour to her exacting standards. A while later, her guns lay finished and polished to a dull sheen on the small table, and her armour was broken down into its tiniest components to be detailed before being reassembled. She was sitting on the floor amidst the pieces, humming along with an ancient symphony from Earth that was playing on her onmi-tool, when the door chimed. 

“Enter,” she said, looking up to see who it was. 

“Shepard. Could I have a moment of your time?” Garrus asked, stepping over the threshold. 

“Of course. What's up, Vakarian?” 

“What's that music?” he asked, distracted from his purpose. 

“It's called classical music. It's from Earth. This particular piece is Symphony Number Four in F Minor, Opus Thirty-Six, Part Three, Scherzo: Pizzicato Ostinato by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky. It's a little over three hundred years old.” She smirked, knowing that most of those words wouldn't translate; a lot of humans didn't know what they meant, either. 

Garrus tilted his head, listening intently. “I don't know what it is about it, but it reminds me of pyjacks.” 

Shepard laughed. “That would be the pizzicato. It _is_ like pyjacks. That's why I like this kind of music so much. It creates such vivid imagery in my mind. There's a set of four violin concertos- violin is a type of instrument- that I was obsessed with as a child. The composer, Vivaldi, made each one about a different season on Earth. But since I was born in space, I didn't know anything about the seasons. I loved looking at pictures on the extranet while I listened to them over and over again. I think my parents got sick of it, but they never said anything.” Her eyes looked far away as she remembered. She laughed again, and shook her head, coming back to the present. “Is that what you wanted to know? You could hear my music out there and your curiosity got the better of you?” 

“While I could hear your music outside your door, no. That's not why I'm here.” Garrus crouched down across from her on the other side of the sea of armour fragments. He picked up a spare rag and began polishing them, focusing on the mundane task to let his mind relax before talking. 

Shepard continued cleaning the parts near her, the music playing quietly to fill the silence between them. As Garrus' hesitancy continued, Shepard became more and more aware that they were alone in her cabin together, that she could practically reach out her hand and touch his knee. Her heart began to quicken its pace, despite her best efforts to keep it slow and even. She refocused her efforts on the work in her hands, her head bent studiously. _I am freaking ridiculous_ , she thought. 

“A while back, when I was working for C-Sec,” Garrus started, still cleaning the armour, “there was this salarian geneticist I was sent to investigate. The case was a bit... disturbing.” 

“What happened? Why were you investigating him?” Shepard asked, curiosity overcoming her distraction. 

“Back then, my task was tracking black market trade on the Citadel. Most of it harmless, nothing I needed to pursue. But during the course of my investigation, I noticed an increase in the trade of body parts. Organs, mostly. We usually got a few of those, but not the numbers I was seeing. We weren't sure if there was a new black market lab or if some freak was harvesting organs from citizens.” 

“You've seen that before on the Citadel?” Shepard asked incredulously. 

Garrus looked up from the part in his hand to nod at her. “Every so often, some lab sells unwanted parts through the black market. But they're not as bad as the psychos. There was this elcor diplomat one time...” He shook his head, then continued. “But this case wasn't that clear cut. Turns out there was more going on than we first realized.” 

“So how did you figure out what was happening?” She sat the finished piece aside, and picked up another one. 

“First, we got a hold of a sample and ran DNA tests. The weird thing was, the match led us to a turian who was still alive and was very convinced he'd never lost his liver. After a bit of digging, I discovered this turian worked briefly for Dr. Saleon, the geneticist. So I went to his lab, hoping to find evidence of cloned organ development. But there was nothing. No salarian hearts, no turian livers, not one krogan testicle.” 

“Why would anyone want krogan testicles?” Shepard snorted. 

“Some krogan believe that testicle transplants can increase their virility, counteract the effects of the genophage. It doesn't work, but that doesn't stop them from buying. They'll pay up to ten thousand credits each. That's forty thousand for a full set. Somebody's making a killing out there.” His mandibles widened briefly in a grin before pulling tight to his face again. 

“But what did you do about the geneticist?” 

“I brought in some of his employees for interrogation. To see if I could get them to talk. While I was 'interviewing' one of them, I came across something suspicious.” 

“You threatened them? Was that really necessary?” 

“Maybe, maybe not. Either way, it paid off. One of my detainees started bleeding profusely during the interview. We offered to patch him up and he got frantic. Freaked out. I ordered a full exam, to find out what was going on. Our medics found incisions all over his body. Some of them fresh. That was our big break. These people weren't just Dr. Saleon's employees. They were test tubes. Walking, living test tubes.” 

“He was growing parts inside these people?” Shepard jerked her head up in shock, her eyes wide, and stopped picking dried slime remnants out of a seam, her stomach roiling at the implications. 

“Exactly. He cloned their organs right inside their own bodies. Then he harvested them and sold them off. Most of the victims were poor. He'd pay them each a small percentage of the sales, but only if the organs were good. Sometimes an organ wouldn't grow properly, so he'd just leave it in them. Most of them were a mess, but only on the inside – hidden so nobody could see it.” Garrus had never seen that look on Shepard's face before. Her nostrils were flared, lips pressing together, and her mouth corners pulled down and away with the middle part pulled up, causing deep creases to run from the sides of her nose almost to her chin. So flexible, he thought. So strange. 

“I hope he got what he deserved,” she said finally. 

He shook his head. “That's the worst part. We never caught him.” 

“Why not? What the hell happened?” Shepard demanded angrily. 

“He ran. Blew his lab, grabbed some of his employees, and headed for the nearest space dock. By the time I found out, his ship was already leaving. He threatened to kill his hostages if we tried to stop him.” 

“But you went after him anyway, right?” Her eyes were snapping in fury, echoing his own emotions. 

“I ordered Citadel defense to shoot him down, but C-Sec headquarters countermanded my order. They were worried about the hostages. Worried about civilian casualties if the ship was destroyed so close to the Citadel. I told them those hostages were dead anyway. He'd just use them to make more organs. But they wouldn't listen.” 

Shepard sat back with a sigh, nodding. “It wasn't worth the risk to the civilians. In that kind of situation, the best choice is to pursue the vessel and disable it.” 

“They sent the military after him, but he got away just the same. I went to Pallin and told him what I thought of him and his policies. He said if I didn't like it, I could quit. I almost did. All they had to do was disable that ship. Stop him from running. Maybe the hostages would have died, maybe not. But at least we would have stopped the bastard responsible for it all.” 

“If you don't care about the fate of those hostages, then you're no better than he is. You're just a terrorist with a badge.” 

At the moment, her anger was directed at him. With all he'd learned from her, her frustration at him was understandable, now that he stopped to think about it. “Yeah, maybe you're right,” he sighed, agreeing. “It doesn't make it any easier, but I see your point. I just wish I could have stopped him, that's all.” 

“Do you have any idea what happened to Dr. Saleon?” she asked more calmly. 

“He changed ships and changed his name to Dr. Heart – his idea of a joke, I guess. I told the military, but they weren't convinced it was him. I have the transponder frequency for his new ship, and I sent it to a few reliable friends. Yesterday, I got a message back that they'd found him. He's in the Kepler Verge, in the Herschel system. His ship's called the MSV Fedele.” 

Garrus watched curiously as Shepard quickly rose to her feet and stepped over to the intercom on her desk. “Joker,” she said into it, her voice harsh, but businesslike. 

“Good morning to you too, Shepard. Sleep well, I take it?” the pilot answered, the typical insubordinate swagger strong in his voice. 

“The best in a long time. Isn't the Kepler Verge just one jump away?” 

“Well, you're welcome to continue dreaming of me anytime. And yes. Do you want to go there?” 

“Immediately. Herschel system. And I want the stealth drives pushed to the max.” 

“You got it. ETA ten hours, 1800 tonight. Joker out.” The intercom clicked off. 

Shepard turned toward Garrus, leaning back on the desk, her hands supporting her, one ankle crossed over the other. “There you go. Eleven hours from now, you'll have your justice.” 

Garrus stood up from his crouched position – Shepard watching him finally understood what his spurs were for – and picked his way through the scattered armour to stand in front of her. She angled her head up to meet his eyes, her heart beginning to pound in earnest. “Shepard, I don't know how to thank you. Again, you surprised me. I thought I was going to have to beg or plead to get you to let me take him down.” He shook his head, his subvocals flanging somewhere in the happy range, but with a strange hiccup at regular intervals that Shepard didn't understand. 

She swallowed, trying to moisten her suddenly dry mouth. “No problem, Vakarian. That sick salarian needs to be stopped.” _Is it suddenly hotter in here? Is it his body heat? Why does he have to stand so close? Why can't he stand closer? Control yourself, **Commander**. It's not going to happen. Lock it down._ She cleared her throat nervously. “Was there anything else you needed?” she asked, breaking eye contact to look at the mess of half-cleaned armour. 

Garrus paused for a beat before answering, “No. I'll let you get back to your work, Shepard. See you on the MSV Fedele.” He backed up a pace before turning to leave. 

“Yeah, because you know you're going to need my sniper taking all the kills you miss, Vakarian,” she snarked, their old bantering ways returning suddenly with a vengeance. 

He stopped to look over his shoulder at her with his un-visored eye. “I'm just bringing you along to teach you some new tricks. I think you could use some brushing up. I heard you were kind of rusty yesterday. Two weeks in the medbay made you sloppy. Slow on the draw, needed protecting. Tsk, tsk, Shepard,” he drawled, his mandibles wide and his eye sparkling viciously. 

_Kaidan_ , she thought angrily. “Yeah, we'll see.” She kept her tone light. “1800, Vakarian. Don't be late.” 

“You can always count on me,” he said over his shoulder, heading out through the door. 

After he left, Shepard turned off her music and paced the small section of uncluttered floor of her cabin, trying to figure out how to handle the newest situation with Kaidan. Nothing she came up with seemed like it would fix the problem, because she wasn't precisely sure what the problem was, although she had a pretty good idea. She'd been hoping to just ignore the situation and let it pass, but if rumors were spreading around the ship, something had to be done. She sighed heavily, and headed out to find the Lieutenant. She found him right around the corner, at his usual station, working away on his terminal. 

He looked up as she stepped into his peripheral vision. “Commander. Is there something you needed?” 

“I'd like to speak with you privately, if you don't mind. Please follow me.” She turned, and led the way back to her room. 

“Uh, aye aye, Shepard,” he said nervously. Here it was. The moment he'd been dreading since they'd gotten back yesterday. He was momentarily distracted when he walked into her cabin, having never been inside it before. _But Garrus has_ , he thought bitterly. _I wonder if **he** ever got a dressing down_. A quick look around showed a mostly neat and orderly space – the bed made to military standards, the data pads on the desk arranged neatly – except for the armour all over the floor. It was in a logical spread, however, half of it clean, half still waiting to be cleaned. _Just what you'd expect from an exemplary commander like Shepard_. The door slid shut with a hiss-click, adding to Kaidan's trepidation. 

She turned around and faced him, her arms folded across her chest, her eyes almost imperceptibly narrowed. She let the silence build for so long, Kaidan almost began to fidget. “Would you care to explain exactly what was going on with you yesterday?” Cold. Her voice was cold, and it cut him to the bone. 

“I let my emotions get the better of me, Commander. I'm sorry, and I won't let it happen again.” He tried to let his sincerity show in his eyes. 

“You say that, Kaidan, but this isn't the first time your emotions have compromised your better judgment, or the first time we've talked about it. I'll say it again: _sometimes_ I'll need your protection. Your problem seems to be knowing when those times are. Your actions yesterday were unnecessary, and now they are undermining my authority on this vessel. They are going to start causing disrespect among those I depend on, and fracturing the bond of loyalty I am trying to instil. If people think I need someone with me to keep me safe, they won't believe that _I_ can keep _them_ safe. Do you understand?” 

“Yes, Commander.” He stood stock still, at parade rest with his chin high and shoulders back. He would take responsibility for his actions. 

Shepard sighed, rubbing her forehead with her left hand while her right was on her hip. “Kaidan, I just don't know what to do. You're a good man. The more I spend time getting to know you, the more I like you. But I can't have a knight in shining armour trying to scoop me up onto his horse and put me in a tower 'for my own protection'. It's not going to work. Not with me, not in this line of business.” She dropped her hand from her face, and met his despairing eyes with her distressed ones. “Is it just me, or are you this way with any female in the field?” 

“Just you,” Kaidan said quietly, almost in a whisper. 

“Why?” she cried in frustration. 

_Because I love you!_ he wailed in his mind. He opened his mouth to admit it, finally, to be free of this terrible burden in his chest, but he couldn't. He couldn't weigh Shepard down with that. Besides, if he did say it, wouldn't he just be separated from her? Forced to take an assignment on a different ship on the other side of the galaxy? Or downside, helping out some dirtball colony? His lonely dismal future stretched out before him, and he shut his mouth. He dropped his gaze to the floor in front of him, and blinked the tears from his eyes before finally answering, “I don't know, Shepard.” 

Her calm had returned while he'd internally stormed. “Well you need to figure it out, and fast. I need my team whole and hale, Kaidan. Dismissed.” 

He nodded once, and sharply turned and left. Back at his console, he leaned forward, his hands on either side of the terminal, supporting his sagging weight. He realized that he'd unintentionally made a very important, life-altering choice in there; it was more important to be near Shepard and not with her, than it was to be with her but separated. _I'm not going to tell her how I feel, until I know for a fact that she feels the same way_ , he thought. _I can't risk being apart from her. We can make it work, even with the regulations. I know we can, if we try. Love conquers all, right?_

\------------ 

Riela finished cleaning her armour in a much different mood than she had started with that morning. _Stupid Kaidan and his stupid face!_ She shook her head furiously. _This is exactly why the regulations are in place. Human emotions are uncontrollable, unquantifiable. They make people do thoughtless things, senseless things. They make people want things they can't have. Like Garrus?_ she asked herself pointedly. She sighed, releasing her anger and tension. _People can't help how they feel, can they, Riela? All they can do is control it the best they can, and hope._

After her armour was again pristine and put away neatly, she did her rounds on the ship. It was not yet lunch time, and the mid-morning yawns were contagious on the CIC. When she made it down to the cargo bay, avoiding Garrus and Kaidan on the second level, Wrex was krogan-napping against the wall, which meant only one eye was closed, and his breathing was slower. She nodded at him as she walked past, heading to talk to Ashley. It looked like the Gunnery Chief was catching up on her correspondence from home, a vidfile of one of her sisters playing on the terminal. As she stepped up behind her, she could hear the recording say, “We saw Kaidan on a news report about the Normandy. He's cuuute!” 

Ashley noticed she was there, and quickly shut the vid off, turning to face her. “Hey, Shepard,” she said, trying to pretend she hadn't been doing anything except modding weapons. 

“Kaidan, huh? Do you have feelings for the Lieutenant?” Shepard asked, trying to keep her tone light, but her body language was stiff with her arms across her chest. 

“Fraternization is strictly against regulations, ma'am. Besides, I think he's sweet on someone else.” Ashley's eyes flicked briefly to Wrex's position before returning back to her commander's face. 

Shepard clenched her jaws and fists briefly before changing the subject. “A message from home? It looked like a sister,” she said, nodding her head at the console. 

“Yeah, I have three of them. I'm the oldest, then Abby, then Lynn. Sarah's the youngest, she's still in high school. With four girls and a wife, Dad used to say he felt more outnumbered at home than on maneuvers.” Ashley's mouth corner went up for a moment, then back down. 

“Where was home?” Shepard asked, relaxing with the easy conversation. 

“All over. Same as you, I expect. We went wherever Personnel Command sent us. I guess that's why I'm so tight with my sisters, since we had to leave all our friends behind every two or three years.” 

“I'm an only child, and a spacer, but I get the idea. We transferred ships about as often. At least one of my parents were always on duty. My mom went into command, my dad is a biochemical engineer, so they were always able to transfer together.” 

“Military families, eh? It's a wonder we still manage to have kids.” 

“Yeah,” Shepard agreed. “So, which sister was that?” 

“Sarah. We didn't use to get along so well, but then we... bonded.” 

“Oh? That sounds like a story. Care to tell?” 

“Sarah got a boyfriend, Mike, who wanted to go faster than she did. I didn't think he was a bad kid, just pushy. Lynn would send me these worried vidmails, and I'd tell her to relax,” Ashley began recounting. 

“Where were you?” 

“I was on active duty, assigned to Czarnabóg at the time. They were on Amaterasu. Same cluster, but a dozen LY away. Sarah's graduating high school this year, so this was only a couple years back. We were close enough to talk regularly, but too far for me to make it back in an emergency. I couldn't afford a fast-packet flight.” 

It sounds like the situation didn't last.” 

Ashley shook her head. “Mike thought they'd go for a romantic walk in the woods. 'Cause he figured it was past time they did the deed. She levered Mike face-first into a tree and left. Didn't have a scratch on her. Good thing Mom and Dad had us all learn some kind of self-defense. I took emergency leave and walked Sar to school for a few days.” 

“Why didn't anyone tell the police?” Shepard asked curiously. 

“She said it wouldn't solve the real problem. And she and Mike would both become household names. It was a small colony. I said it was her call to make. That we should let her do it her way. Mom was pretty pissed about that.” 

“You said all of your sisters learned self-defense?” 

“Lynn did pistol practice, but didn't like it. She's kind of nervous. Sar took to aikido. Abby decided to learn the sword. She always was a little weird. Likes big skirts and tops you have to tie her into. They do great things to her figure, though...” 

“So what did you learn?” 

“One of Dad's friends taught me marine hand-to-hand.” Ashley grinned, and Shepard grinned back. She'd always loved hand-to-hand. 

“So, did anything happen while you were there?” 

“My last day out, Mike was waiting for us. Sar had told her friends, so everyone at school knew what he did. He wasn't happy. I wanted to snap him in half. But Sar gave me this look. This 'Let me handle it, I need to do this alone' look. She kept her cool, God bless her, as he screamed in her face. She just let him vent. Then he tried to punch her. I swear, she just flowed around him. Next thing I knew, he's face-down on the sidewalk and there's blood everywhere.” 

“He missed?” 

“When he swung, she just – she wasn't there anymore, and he fell. She helped him stop the bleeding, and had me call an ambulance. She told the paramedics he fell. Before they took him to the hospital, Mike touched Sar's arm. I thought he was going to end up on the ground again. But he hung his head, whispered, 'I'm sorry,' and started crying. And she hugged him. The Williams women are a decisive bunch, Shepard. We do things when we're ready. Not before, not after.” 

“And your father was stationed on a ship at the time?” 

“Yeah. He always said space was beautiful, but no place to raise a family. He wanted us to grow up with ground under our feet. 

> 'I cannot rest from travel: I will drink  
>  Life to the lees: All times I have enjoy'd  
>  Greatly, have suffer'd greatly, both with those  
>  That loved me, and alone...'  
>  'For always roaming with a hungry heart  
>  Much have I seen and known; cities of men  
>  And manners, climates, councils, governments...'”

  
Ashley spoke, with a far-off look in her eyes.

“I never thought I'd hear you reciting Tennyson. 

> 'I am a part of all that I have met;  
>  Yet all experience is an arch wherethro'  
>  Gleams that untravell'd world whose margin fades  
>  For ever and forever when I move.  
>  How dull it is to pause, to make an end,  
>  To rust unburnish'd, not to shine in use!'

  
I've always loved that poem.”

“Just because I can drill someone between the eyes at a hundred metres doesn't mean I can't like sensitive stuff,” Ashley said, only half-defensively. 

“Hey, you don't have to tell me. I know all about that. It's hard being accepted as a real person in a soldier's world,” Shepard said with an easy smile. 

Ashley nodded in agreement. “'Ulysses' was Dad's favourite poem. Every time he shipped out, he recorded me reading it. He had a dozen versions when he retired. Now I read it to his grave every time I go home. He passed on a few years back. He's probably still watching, though.” 

“You mean from wherever we go after death.” 

“Yep. He's with God now. That's not a problem with you, is it? That I believe in God?” 

“Not at all. I certainly hope there's something after this.” 

“I've met a few people who were really weirded out by my faith. Because I work in space, I can't believe in a higher power? Geez. Hello? Have you people looked out the window? How can you look at this galaxy and not believe in something?” 

Shepard nodded. “It seems too big to have just been random chance to me.” 

Ashley suddenly felt self-conscious. “I should get back to work, ma'am. Sorry for taking up so much of your time.” 

“You weren't all that busy, were you? I mean, you were watching mail from home, after all.” 

“Why, was there something you needed?” 

Shepard's eyes sparkled in anticipation, a knowing smile on her lips. “What was that you said about marine hand-to-hand? Had any chance to keep it up lately?” 

“What are you suggesting, you wanna go?” 

“Yeah, a little friendly sparring to get the blood flowing. I'm trying to recover from my medbay stay, and you've been trapped on here training Liara. You've got to be a little stir-crazy.” 

“Well, I wasn't going to complain or anything, but a little physical action could be nice. Yeah, let's do it,” Ashley agreed, a renewed fire racing through her veins. “Mats, or no mats?” she asked. 

“Mats. There's a mission tonight, and I don't want either one of us unable to go.” 

“On it.” 

Ashley began unrolling the mats in the middle of the cargo bay floor while Shepard stripped down to just her tank and shorts and began to stretch. Ashley stripped down and stretched too, jumping and swinging her arms back and forth to get her blood flowing. Wrex was no longer half sleeping, now quite alert to watch these fleshy humans go at each other in combat. The energy in the bay made him smash his fists together in anticipation, and the two women whipped their heads around at the sound. 

“Looks like we've got an audience,” Shepard said, smirking. 

“Let 'em watch. Maybe he'll learn something about human females,” Ashley said, directing her comment at the krogan with a grin. Wrex growled excitedly, but didn't say anything else. “You ready?” she asked the Commander. 

“Ready.” 

They began slowly circling, their arms up and protecting their faces and torsos, feinting, testing, watching for an opening. Ashley was never one for patience, and stepped in swinging to punch Shepard in the face with a right hook. But she was fast, faster than Ashley had expected and caught her fist with her hand, twisting her arm with the elbow straight, her other hand on her shoulder, forcing her to bend over so Shepard could knee her in the stomach, lifting Ashley off her feet. Shepard released her arm, letting Ashley fall flat on her face while she danced back, light on her toes. 

As Ashley was picking herself back up, the starboard door to engineering opened, and Tali with a group of the engineers came through, on their way to lunch. 

“Keelah!” the quarian said, her hands going to the mouthpiece on her helmet. “What are you two doing!?” 

“Practicing,” Shepard said, at the same time Ashley said, “Playing.” They grinned at each other, not letting their guard drop from the distraction. 

Tali waved the rest on, and skirted around the matting to stand next to Wrex and watch. “How's it going?” she asked the krogan quietly. 

“Good. I thought they'd be too soft. They were reciting poetry a minute ago. But the fight is good.” He tore his eyes away from the again circling pair to look down at Tali. “So tell me, who would win in a fight between you and Shepard?” 

“Do krogan size up everyone for a fight, even friends and allies?” she asked, crossing her arms in the human way. 

_Hanging around the engineers too long_ , he thought. “Yes,” he answered, turning his attention back to the fight. 

“Hmmh,” Tali said, joining him in his spectating. 

Ashley stepped in again with a jab at Shepard's throat, distracting her momentarily to get in a solid kick at her side. But while Ashley was still off balance with her left leg in the air, Shepard caught her other leg with her foot from behind and tripped her. Ashley rolled over backwards quickly, removing herself from Shepard's reach, and regaining her feet. But Shepard was right on top of her, her fists flying one-two-three into Ashley's stomach, before dodging back out again. 

The elevator door laboriously opened behind Shepard, who turned her head minutely to see a large but indistinguishable group of people pile out. With the distraction, Ashley had the advantage and rushed her, grabbing her around the midsection to slam her to the ground. _Stupid, Shepard. Really stupid,_ she said to herself, working her arms underneath Ashley's to break her hold and getting a foot in place to flip her over her head. Ashley knew it was coming though, and did some fancy footwork to get her hips over to the side of Shepard, where she sat down and quickly put her in an armbar, her legs locked around Shepard's upper arm and lying across her chest while she held onto her wrist. 

Shepard lifted her hips slightly, her feet flat on the ground and pushed her bottom half to swing around to the side with her free arm, twisting simultaneously to end on her knees, breaking Ashley's hold. With Ashley's leg resting on her shoulder, she was in the perfect position to grab her thigh and whip around to lock her neck into the crook of one elbow, Ashley's knee in her other, vaguely reminiscent of cradling a baby while her chest pressed down on Ashley's side. She held her pinned for a moment, then let go and stood up quickly, backing away while brushing the loose hairs away from her face. Both she and Ashley were breathing more heavily, sweat starting to glisten their brows. 

“We should do this more often,” Shepard said with a grin. 

“Let me know if you feel the same when we're done,” Ashley replied with a mirrored grin. 

“Just give us a heads-up next time so we don't miss the beginning, eh?” Engineer Adams called from behind Shepard, standing somewhere near Wrex and Tali. That wall had apparently become the peanut gallery, but Shepard didn't take her eyes off her opponent, no matter how curious she was to know who all were watching. 

“Who's winning?” someone shouted. 

“I hadn't even thought about winning,” Shepard said to Ashley. 

“I had,” she answered, a competitive glint in her eye. She shuffled forward, her legs bent, body weight low, and feigned a kick at Shepard's left side, but instead dropped down to swipe her leg at Shepard's ankles to knock her down. Shepard leaped gracefully over the swinging leg and kicked Ashley in the chin while still in the air, snapping the Chief's head back. While she was momentarily disoriented, Shepard tackled her full out, landing on top of her, both ending up stomach down, her legs in between Ashley's, spreading them wide. She had Ashley's left hand pinned behind her back, and worked her arm under Ashley's right arm and then pinned her neck to the mat with her right hand, thus rendering Ashley's right arm useless as well. She let go of her left arm, reached over the shoulder and across the front of Ashley's neck, moving her right hand from the back of the neck to grab her own upper arm, putting her in a very firm choke hold. 

Ashley struggled for a moment, her hands and feet scrabbling to find purchase, but then said, “I give.” Shepard released her and rose to the sound of clapping. She offered Ashley a hand up, who gratefully took it. 

“Good fight,” Shepard said. “Not too rough, so we can still kick ass later.” She smiled as Ashley, putting an arm around the woman's shoulders and walking them both over to the crowd. 

All of the ground team members were there, as well as all the engineers and even a few of the CIC crew. Congratulations went around, and Ashley was a good loser, cheerfully challenging those who were talking smack about her, which they – for some reason – declined. Shepard avoided all but the most cursory interactions with Kaidan, but the slight wasn't noticeable in the large jabbering crowd. 

\---------- 

A few minutes before 1800, Vakarian, Shepard, and Williams were in the cockpit, fully suited, waiting for the Normandy to finish docking with the MSV Fedele. Hopefully, Dr. Saleon hadn't looked out any of his ship's windows any time in the past few hours and this would still be a surprise. 

Shepard checked over the duo standing in front of her one last time. Williams was solid, waiting patiently for the mission to get underway. Vakarian though... usually he was the calmest member, all that early military and C-Sec training taking over, but now he was antsy. He kept shifting his weight from side to side, his arms behind his back, then in front, fingers twitching or clenched tight alternatively. She was sure if she could see his face, his mandibles would be pulled tight to his jaw. 

She shook her head, wistfully. She wanted him to handle this professionally, to keep his emotions in check, but she was afraid it wasn't going to happen. She had promised him justice, not vengeance or retribution, but that had probably escaped his mind. To him, this was a wish come true. He wanted to be able to dispense his own judgment onto criminals without dealing with regulations, but this wasn't going to be that opportunity. _Not with me, Garrus. I can't let you become that which you are trying to destroy. I wish you had listened to all of my advice._ Shepard sighed. 

The ship shuddered slightly, and the clanking of outer mechanisms clamping onto the docking port of the MSV Fedele could be heard echoing through the hull. 

“Locks engaged,” Joker said. “Good luck.” 

“Thanks. Move out,” Shepard responded, and Vakarian led the way, followed by Williams, Shepard bringing up the rear. 

On the Kowloon class vessel, Shepard armed herself with her sniper rifle, Williams and Vakarian with their assault rifles. The cargo hold was empty, so Shepard walked across to the only door, standing with her back to the wall while she swiped her hand across the access panel. The other side was a hallway full of inaccessible doors, except for the one at the end towards the bow of the ship. Again, she stood to the side as she touched the panel. When the door opened, she could hear shuffling feet and the occasional moan emanating from the large space stacked full of crates. 

She motioned for silence and took point, creeping through the door and around a group of boxes. She could see shambling forms wandering around aimlessly, their gross motor skills not nearly as smooth as they should have been. A close up glance through her scope revealed them to be human, practically naked, covered in large open sores or long gashes that looked horribly discolored. Parts of their torsos wire disfigured, obvious aberrations bulging against the mottled skin. 

Shepard's dinner curdled in her stomach at the sight of them. As much as she came aboard to save these people, they were unfortunately beyond saving. Their brains weren't even whole anymore, obvious from the way they bumped into each other and inanimate objects. No speech, no light of sentience in their eyes, nothing human remained. 

Sadly, she took aim through her scope, and fired. Her target went down without more than a gurgle, but the others were alerted by the sound of a gunshot. They came running at her position, arms outstretched in front of them, just like husks or creepers would have. She took down two more before they reached her location, and she retreated behind her teammates, reloading. 

More came swarming from the other side of the crates, surrounding them. Shepard retreated further, back through the doorway to make a choking point. “With me!” she said over her comm, switching from her rifle to her heavy pistol; they were too close for scope use. She took out three more who were clawing at Vakarian and Williams as they tried to join her, careful where she placed her shots. The trio formed a solid wall of firepower, taking out mutilated human after mutilated human as they tried to run through the door. Shepard of course, with Vakarian here, kept track of her kills. 

When the waves stopped coming and the ship was again eerily silent save for the occasional bulkhead groan, she reentered the room to check the bodies and the crates. Nothing moved, and nothing dangerous registered on her HUD except for a few containment canisters, which she avoided. “Clear,” she said through the comm. 

“I had eight kills, Shepard,” Vakarian said, walking up to her. 

“That's not too shabby. I had ten,” she replied smugly. 

“Were we supposed to keep count? I think I had around eight or nine,” Williams contributed. 

Shepard snickered. “Third place, Vakarian? Who's the rusty one now?” 

“Williams doesn't have an accurate count. I could just as easily be in second,” he retorted. 

“Alright, point taken. But still not first. Let's keep going.” Shepard said, checking her pistol before walking to the next door. 

This one led to a small hallway with three doors, one port side, one starboard, one directly ahead. Shepard was familiar with this kind of ship design, and chose to check the cockpit first. It was empty, all systems but life support shut down, the memory banks wiped clean by someone who knew what they were doing. She motioned her team back out, and then checked the two other doors. One was locked down, overriding out of the question, but the other was lit green. 

Shepard took a deep breath, and opened the door. A salarian in a dirty lab coat stood there, obviously waiting for them. 

“Thank you! Thank you for saving me from those... things!” he said, on the edge of being frantic. 

_Those **things** you created? Those things **you** caused?_ Shepard thought angrily. 

“Shepard, that's him. That's Dr. Saleon,” Vakarian said, his subharmonics thrumming very low and fast, denoting rage. 

“What!? My name is Heart! Dr. Heart! Please, get me out of here!” the salarian cried wildly. 

“Are you sure that's him?” Shepard asked, although she already knew the answer from the evidence. 

“Positive. I'd harvest your organs first, Doctor, but we don't have time,” Vakarian growled. Shepard had never heard that particular tone of voice from him before. 

“That's crazy! He's crazy! Please, don't let him do this to me,” Dr. Saleon begged. 

“We'll take him in, drop him off with the military,” Shepard said. 

“But we have him! We can't let him get away! Not again!” Vakarian protested. 

“If we kill him, we'll never know what he's been up to, or how he did it. We'll take him in, interrogate him, and he'll serve his time,” Shepard said calmly. _Don't do anything stupid, Garrus_ , she prayed silently, tense with worry. _Please don't make me treat you like I did back in Dr. Michel's office._

“I've--” Vakarian started, but stopped himself, taking a deep breath. “Okay. You're right,” he conceded. Shepard's smile would have been blinding, if not for her helmet blocking it from view. For her, this had been the real mission, and now she could mark it as a successful one. She was so relieved, she almost missed his words to the doctor. “You're a very lucky salarian. You owe the commander your life,” he rumbled quietly. 

“Oh, thank you _so_ very much!” he replied sarcastically, then pulled his pistol out from behind his back. Shepard immediately fired a round directly between his eyes, dropping him in a split second. 

“So he dies anyway. What was the point of that?” Vakarian asked indignantly. 

Shepard holstered her gun, sighing, and turned to face him. “You can't predict how people will act, but you can control how you respond. In the end, that's what really matters.” 

He mulled that over for a moment while holstering his own before answering. “Y-yeah. I've never met anyone like you, Shepard.” 

“You've said that before,” she said, her pose slipping into its easy cock-hipped stance she took when bantering with him. 

“And I'll probably say it again. Someday. If you're really lucky,” he drawled. 

“Well, I guess we're about done here. Let's collect some evidence and get back to the Normandy. Oh, by the way? That's eleven.” She brushed past him airily on the way to inspect the operating table in the center of the room. 

It was covered in layer upon layer of crusted blood and bits of skin, in all different shades. There was the expected red-brown of human, but also violet from asari, orange from krogan, and deep blue from turians. _What kind of sick experiments had he been doing? There were only humans in that hold, none of these other species_ , she thought. A tray of filthy implements lay nearby, but she left them alone. Vakarian was looking for records or notes on the terminal, and Williams was inspecting the lockers along the wall. 

She walked over to the turian, who seemed aggravated. “Find anything?” she asked. 

“Oh, I did, but it's all encrypted. I've never seen this kind of code before; I think he may have written it himself. It'll take time to decipher, time we don't have.” 

She looked over his shoulder at the display, and had to agree. It looked like nothing she had ever seen before, either. “Transfer it to an OSD and take it with us. Send it to whomever it needs to go to back on the Citadel, but if you want to keep a copy to work on yourself, that's fine with me. Williams, did you find anything?” 

“No, ma'am, just surgery supplies.” 

Shepard was beginning to realize that Williams was the kind of person that called her own mother 'ma'am' “Alright, let's go. Leave the body.” 

They trooped back through the ship and onto the Normandy. For Shepard, this ship was beginning to feel like home, and as the decon beam cycled, she wondered if anyone else felt that way about it, too. 

She stepped into the cockpit, feeling very satisfied. Removing her helmet, she said to Joker, “Let's head to Noveria. Saren's got something brewing there, and I'd like to stop it before it's too late.” 

“You got it, Shepard. Plotting coordinates.” The pilot snorted. “Go chill out in your cabin for a few days, 'cause it's gonna be a while.” 

“Push her as fast as you can, because after Noveria we'll take a few days of leave on the Citadel while we resupply.” 

“Aye aye!” he said enthusiastically, overexaggerating his salute. 

She shook her head at him, smiling, and headed down the stairs, Ashley and Garrus in tow. 

“Leave? For everyone?” Ashley asked excitedly. 

“Yes, for everyone. We'll be there at least three days, if Vakarian's estimates are correct. I've okayed an upgrade to our weapons system, and it will take at least that long, not counting all the resupply the galley and the cargo bay need. And since we'll be somewhere under the direct protection of the Council, nobody will have to stay on board.” 

“Three days,” she sighed happily. 

“Ashley, I want Liara ready for that mission. I'm taking you too, since you're the one that trained her, but it's time she went with us.” 

“Aye aye, Shepard.” They left Ashley waiting for the elevator, and walked around to the mess area. 

“Shepard,” Garrus said behind her into the quiet of the ship's late evening. 

“Yes?” she asked, turning to face him. 

“I'm sorry for questioning your orders in public. I told you before I wasn't a very good turian. I guess I'm worse than I thought.” His mandibles were tight to his face, his shoulders hunched forward. 

“But you were still calm enough to listen to me, and you understood my reasoning behind my choices. You didn't disregard me, and I think you're finally starting to grow. That's what matters to me. I want to help make you a better person, Vakarian. You carry so much anger inside, so much bitterness. If you could just let that go, and see the galaxy as a whole, instead of focusing on all the little details that touch your own life... You could do so much, for everyone. You have the heart for it, I've seen it. But you've built this cage around it, and it can't get out. Do you understand what I'm saying?” 

During her little speech, his posture had relaxed back into its normal towering height. “I actually do, Shepard,” he said slowly. “I – I'll think on it.” 

“Do that. And Vakarian? Thanks.” She turned and headed toward her cabin. 

“Thanks for what?” he asked, confused. 

She gave a one-shouldered shrug and a little shake of her head, not turning around. “Just... thanks.” 

She disappeared into her room, leaving him to stand perplexed in the mess. He waited for a moment, hoping she'd come back out to explain, but she didn't. He made his way up the ramp to the battery, lost deeply in thought, before going into his own private quarters.


	12. Noveria

The interim from the Herschel system to Noveria allowed a feeling of relaxation to settle over the crew, but it was like a smooth blanket hiding unmade sheets. Tense anxiety was causing tempers to run high, especially in Ashley. She was feeling the strain of worry that came from knowing a student was getting ready to risk their life on her training; she could only hope that it was good enough.

Really though, Liara had been doing well in the cargo bay. Her aim with the pistol was much better from that first day, and if she used her biotics when firing, her shots nearly always hit their mark. Ashley had no idea how she did that; Kaidan had never used his biotics that way, as far as she knew, nor had any of her previous squad mates. She chalked it up to an asari ability and let it go.

Liara’s hand-to-hand was pretty crappy, but again, all that biotic energy should keep enemies far enough away that it shouldn’t really matter. And now she was used enough to the armour that she didn’t try to adjust it every five minutes. Ashley smirked. That had happened because she’d forced the scientist to wear it non-stop, from morning to night, for three days straight.

 

Liara spent her spare time researching firefights on the extranet. If some of that research had led to Shepard’s past, the Skyllian Blitz for example, it was almost certainly pure coincidence. And if those vids had then led to information on Shepard’s N7 training, and then to her childhood, and then to information on her parents, it was just mild curiosity. Liara had no explanation for her desire to discover what she could on Shepard’s past relationships though.

From what she gathered, Shepard was a rare human. When she’d first met the Commander, she’d taken her actions as typical for her species. But after spending most of her time with Ashley, who sometimes said things less than diplomatically, she began to realize that humans were just as diverse as asari. And when she’d been allowed to share the information from the beacon and the cipher, it showed her how incredibly strong-willed Shepard really was. Liara closed down the vid of Shepard’s early attempts at gymnastics and ballet, and refocused on battlefield tactics.

 

Kaidan almost felt like he was a ghost haunting the Normandy. His reluctance to talk with other crewmembers had grown stronger after his dressing-down from Shepard. Rumors of his actions on Feros had spread like contagion, and he didn’t like the way people teased him. Some thought it was funny, but others were irritated at his overly protective attitude towards their Commander.

And _she_ had been avoiding him entirely, except for nods in his direction when they saw each other in the mess, or the occasional “Alenko,” when they passed. There were no more amiable conversations, no more random stops by his terminal, no more smiles for him. She was as coldly professional as Captain Anderson had been. He hunched his shoulders and refocused on his staffing reports, hoping it would pass soon. Her peal of laughter could be heard travelling down the corridor from the battery, and Kaidan gritted his teeth in frustration. _She never laughed like that with me_ , he thought.

 

Garrus watched as Shepard threw her head back and laughed uproariously at his childhood story about tormenting his little sister with ‘ghost bugs’. His mandibles were wide as he leaned casually against his terminal, waiting for her to regain her composure. They’d been trading stories of their younger years, and it looked like Garrus had won this round, although the one she’d told about using her mother’s cosmetics to pretend to be a new kind of alien running loose on the ship had been pretty funny too.

“Solana must have tried to kill you for that,” Shepard said, wiping tears from her eyes.

“Well, she did manage to get in my bedroom and lay down some traps for me. Trip wire across the door, tree sap in my bed, dirt in my drawers with my clean clothes. She messed with the calibrations of my rifle, too.”

Shepard mockingly gasped, her hand going to her mouth. “Not your calibrations!”

“Yeah. So I changed the ones on hers. It took her ten days to get them back, and then we agreed that weapons were off limits.”

“So you’re saying that if I want to get your attention, I should recalibrate the cannon when you’re not around?”

“Sure, Shepard. That’s exactly what I was saying,” Garrus drawled.

“Good, I’ll keep that in mind. Listen, I have to finish my rounds. I’ll talk to you later, Vakarian.”

“See you later, Shepard.”

Garrus watched her retreating back for a moment before returning to his work. Ever since dealing with Dr. Saleon, something between them had shifted slightly. He’d thought she’d been open for a commander before, but now they spent time talking about their pasts, their interests; they discussed so much more than what was strictly duty-related. Her physical reactions hadn’t changed though, and Garrus was beginning to wonder that maybe he was mistaken on their cause. But if he was, he had no idea what they really meant, and it just didn’t seem important enough to mention to Dr. Chakwas. He was sure the doctor knew everything there was about Shepard’s physical irregularities, and decided to leave it in her capable hands.

Shepard left the battery in high spirits, but the mirth in her eyes damped as she caught Kaidan watching her. His expression went from stunned, to hurt, to hard in the split second before he looked back down at his console. Shepard pressed her lips together in irritation at their situation, but had nothing more to say than, “Alenko,” as she walked by and headed to the elevator.

“Commander,” he murmured, watching her pass. 

* * *

Shepard was standing in the cockpit behind Joker as they entered the atmosphere of Noveria. The cloud cover was thick, and snow blew around the ship as they descended toward Port Hanshan.

“Approach Control, this is the SSV Normandy. Requesting a vector and a berth,” the pilot said over the intercom.

“Normandy, your arrival was not scheduled. Our defense grid is armed and tracking you. State your business,” a masculine voice responded curtly.

Joker rolled his eyes. “Citadel business. We’ve got a Council Spectre aboard.”

“Landing access granted, Normandy,” the man said grudgingly. “Be advised: we will be confirming identification on arrival. If confirmation cannot be established, your vessel will be impounded.”

Joker terminated the comm link before saying, “What a fun bunch. I think I’ll take leave here instead, Shepard.”

“Maybe you want to, but I don’t. You can go skiing some other time,” Shepard responded. Just then, Ashley and Liara joined her, suited up and ready to disembark. “Ready to go?”

“Yes, Shepard, as ready as I will ever be,” Liara said.

“Yes ma’am. Locked and loaded,” Ashley added.

“Alright. Let’s go meet our welcoming party.”

They walked out onto the frigid but snow-free dock that led around to an entryway. It was blocked by a human woman and a turian holding assault rifles flanking another human woman with no weapons. The dark-haired woman in the middle stepped forward, raising a hand in warning. “That’s far enough.”

Shepard and her duo stopped, and she raised her hands in surrender. “We’re not here to cause problems.”

“This is an unscheduled arrival. I need your credentials.”

Shepar raised an eyebrow, but answered, “I’m a Spectre. My name is Shepard. And you are?”

“I’m Captain Maeko Matsuo, Elanus Risk Control Services.”

The blonde woman with the rifle turned to her superior, a sneer on her face. “Load of horse crap, ma’am. There’re no human Spectres; everyone knows that.”

Maeko looked from the woman to Shepard. “We will need to confirm that, ma’am.” Shepard nodded, appreciating her professional attitude. Maeko continued, “Also, I must advise you that firearms are not permitted on Noveria. Sergeant Stirling, secure their weapons.”

As the blonde stepped forward, Shepard unholstered her pistol and pointed it at her. Ashley mimicked her action, and Liara began to glow purple, taking a fighting stance. Sergeant Stirling and the unnamed turian aimed their rifles at them in return.

“With all due respect, I will not continue my investigation unarmed,” Shepard said calmly.

“I had no idea away missions would escalate so quickly,” Liara murmured from behind her.

“Captain Matsuo! Stand down,” a feminine voice said over the loudspeaker. “We have confirmed their identity. Spectres are authorized to carry weapons here, Captain.”

Shepard holstered her pistol and regained her at-ease stance. The security team lowered their rifles in response. Shepard heard Liara let out a pent-up breath, and a corner of her mouth twitched.

“You may proceed, Spectre. I hope the rest of your visit will be less confrontational. Parasini-san will meet you upstairs,” Captain Matsuo said.

“Behave yourself,” Sergeant Stirling snidely remarked at their backs as they walked through the entryway.

The interior looked much like the exterior; drab grey plascrete made up every surface. There was a slope between two stairs with water flowing down it; an attempt at architectural interest Shepard supposed, but in her opinion holographic fire would have been more welcoming. At the top of the stairs, two stationary bots continually scanned the entryway to the rest of the complex. As she and her team walked through, an alarm sounded briefly and then was cut off.

A woman in a tight red dress behind the counter on the left said, “Weapons detectors. Don’t mind the alarms. I am Gianna Parasini, assistant to Administrator Anoleis. We apologize for the incident in the docking bay.”

Shepard recognized her voice as the one that had told the captain outside to stand down. “I appreciate your help.”

“You’re welcome. You understand our security chief was only doing her job.”

“Yes, and she performed admirably. Her second in command, however, could use some refresher courses in diplomacy.”

“Ah, ye-es. I’ll make a note. One of my duties is orientation of new arrivals. Do you have any questions?”

“You seem to have some pretty heavy security for such a small port. Why is that?”

“The Executive Board does everything in its power to protect the privacy of our client corporations.”

“Be that as it may, I am here on a continuing investigation. I can’t have anyone impeding it.”

“My advice? Tread lightly. The Board can bury you in litigation. You’d need an asari lawyer to see the case through.” Gianni smiled, but it wasn’t warm.

“I’ll do my best. Has anyone unusual passed through here recently?”

“Unusual? An asari Matriarch passed through a few days ago. Lady Benezia.”

“Benezia? She is here?” Liara said.

Shepard looked over her shoulder at the asari and gave her a comforting smile before turning back to the assistant. “Can I speak with her?”

Gianni shook her head. “Benezia left for the Peak 15 research complex days ago. To the best of my knowledge she’s still there.”

“Then could you tell me how to get there?”

“You’ll need to ask Administrator Anoleis for clearance to leave this port.”

“And where can I find him?”

“His office is on the main level. Go down the stairs and to the left after you exit the elevator.”

“Understood. Can we go in now?”

“Of course. If you need any help, you can ask me at the administrator’s office. That is my usual post.” Gianni turned away and left through a door while Shepard released a sigh.

Liara’s voice held the trace of a quiver as she spoke. “She is here. I can’t believe it.” As Shepard turned to face her, she continued, “I imagine you want to talk to me, Shepard. About my mother.”

“Not like you mean. I trust you, Liara. You may not be military, but you are part of my crew.” Shepard placed a hand on her shoulder comfortingly.

“Thank you, Shepard. That means a great deal to me.”

“You haven’t been anywhere near your mother lately, let alone in contact with her, right?” Ashley asked.

“That is true,” Liara answered.

“Then this doesn’t have anything to do with you. Except that she’s your mother. But you know what I mean,” Ashley said, trying to reassure her.

“We’re here for you, Liara. There may still be a chance that she can be saved, remember? Don’t lose hope,” Shepard added.

“I will keep all you both have said in mind. Thank you. We should go talk to Administrator Anoleis.” Liara turned away and led them to the elevator.

Anoleis, a salarian, was less than helpful. Rude and insulting, he refused to let Shepard leave the port. He also insisted that she would not be allowed into Peak 15 even without the blizzard raging outside that was impeding their travel. After she left his personal office, Gianni told her in a low voice that there were other people with passes out of the port. Upon further questioning, she directed Shepard to speak to a turian named Lorik Qui’in in the bar, but could give no other information within earshot of the administrator.

Shepard wandered around the large empty spaces until she finally found the elevator that was the only access to the hotel and the bar. As they rode up, thumping music began to vibrate the floor beneath them. When the doors opened, Shepard noticed that a few randomly placed light displays helped break up the monotony of the walls as she looked around for her objective. The only turian she spotted that wasn’t standing guard was a gentleman with white starburst patterned colony marks sitting alone nursing a drink.

She walked over to introduce herself, but he spoke first. “The Spectre newly to port. Sit down, have a drink.”

She was momentarily stunned by his knowledge and friendly behaviour, but said congenially, “Are you Lorik Qui’in?” At his nod, she continued, “Call me Shepard. I was told that you might be able to help me?”

“What could an old turian like me possibly do for you?”

“I heard that you could give me access to the garage.”

“How fortuitous. We both have something the other needs.” He flared his mandibles in an easy smile as he lounged back in his chair.

“And what is it you need from me, Mr. Qui’in?”

“Please, call me Lorik. I’m the manager for the local Synthetic Insights office; for the moment at least. Mr. Anoleis has recently closed my office and is claiming to investigate reports of my corruption. Interestingly, he has become very rich since he took direct control of rents.” He looked at her with his head tilted, reminiscent of Garrus’ one-eyed stare.

Shepard smirked wryly. “I sense a connection there.”

“Indeed. I have acquired evidence of his actions, and his hired goons are ransacking my office to find it. If you recover the evidence from my office, I will give you my garage pass, as well as a sum of credits.”

“And your pass is still active?” she asked, shifting her weight to one hip and crossing her arms.

“It is. Anoleis has no reason to deactivate it; there’s nothing outside but snow and hungry nathak. However there is a – what is that charming human expression? ‘Fly in the lotion?’” Shepard grinned briefly as he continued. “Violence against Mr. Anoleis’ thugs may be necessary. He has members of Hanshan’s security team searching my offices. He is paying them under the table. Captain Matsuo is unaware of their outside employment.”

“If he’s paying them under the table, they’re mercenaries. I guess we’ll just have to see how things go. Thanks for the information.”

“You are quite welcome, Spectre. Here is my pass for the office. The evidence is on my computer. This OSD contains an encryption key to access it. Slide it into the drive and it will auto-execute. Oh, and do try to keep blood stains off the carpets, would you?”

“No promises there, Lorik. Just charge the cleaning to security; it’ll be their blood.”

“Indeed.”

Shepard made her way to the Synthetic Insights office. When she and her crew stepped out of the elevator, they were greeted by two security guards. “Freeze! Hanshan security. This office is sealed,” one of them said.

“Lorik Qui’in gave me a pass in.”

“Qui’in? Are you working for him? He’s under investigation.”

“By mercenaries being paid under the table from Anoleis?”

“Uh--” the guard began, but Shepard cut her off.

“Let’s not complicate the situation with lies. You’re not supposed to be here, so why don’t you just leave?” She unholstered her rifle, checking over it as an ill-concealed threat.

“He ain’t paying me enough to take on Spectres, and that’s no lie. Tell you what: we’ll pretend we didn’t see you, and you pretend you didn’t see us.” At Shepard’s nod, the two mercs left.

“Do you think you’ll be able to talk them all out of fighting?” Liara asked curiously.

“Highly unlikely. The rest will probably shoot on sight, so get ready,” Shepard answered while unclasping her helmet from her hip. She put it on, checked over her team, and then took point.

Sure enough, a moment later a guard came from a nearby hallway and immediately opened fire. Shepard rolled to the side getting behind a large planter for cover before putting her scope to her eye. The guard was floating around in the air, due to Liara’s biotics. Shepard thought this made him a harder target, but it did keep him from shooting at them. The gunshots brought more guards running to their position, but they all went down quickly.

As silence dominated the offices, Shepard turned to check on Liara. “How are you holding up?”

“I am fine, Shepard. Thank you for your concern.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow at the circumspect response, but turned to continue searching for Lorik’s private office. They found it on the upper floor at the end of a long corridor, the terminal still functional. She plugged in the OSD, and shortly the computer dinged. Shepard pulled out the little device and pocketed it, then led her team back to the main area.

A group of guards were there, waiting for them. Sergeant Stirling was leading them. “I don’t think you’re supposed to be in here, Shepard,” she said, sauntering forward. “Anoleis would throw you off-world for what you did here. I won’t. You know what we did to cop killers back on my world?”

“You’re breaking the law for bribe money. You know what we did to dirty cops on my world?” Ashley threw back.

“And what do you think they’ll do to a Spectre-killer? Not that you’ll succeed,” Shepard added.

“You talk the talk. Let’s see if you can walk after I break your legs.” Stirling motioned her team to attack and fired her weapon at Shepard.

Chaos ensued- her teammates spreading out, the mercs running all over the place. Shepard focused her efforts on Stirling, but the woman had some incredible shields. Every time she thought she’d gotten through for a clean head shot, they’d regenerate. Her overload made the difference.

When her target was down, she checked on her duo. She’d thought they’d split up, but was surprised to see them working as a team. Liara used her biotics to hold the mercenaries, and Williams took them out one by one. Shepard went after the few that were hiding in the complex, maintaining radio contact with her team.

They regrouped at the elevator, holstering their weapons and removing their helmets before heading down to report to Lorik Qui’in. A familiar figure in a tight red dress met them in the hall to the main floor. “Commander, there have been reports of noise coming from the Synthetic Insights office. Would you know anything about it?” Gianna asked.

“It’s probably Anoleis’ thugs ripping the place apart,” Shepard responded nonchalantly.

“Smartass, hm? That’s fine. I can work with that. Meet me at the hotel for a drink, _before_ you talk to Qui’in. I’ll be waiting.”

The secretary walked off, and Shepard let her go. They were both headed to the same place, and she gathered that Gianna didn’t want attention drawn to them.

“I am not certain, but I think perhaps there is more to this situation than we were originally led to believe,” Liara said quietly.

“When is that not the case?” Shepard replied. “C’mon, let’s go. We’ve waited long enough.”

They made their way back to the hotel bar, Shepard heading straight for the red dress without even looking in Lorik’s direction.

“Allow me to reintroduce myself. Parasini, Noveria Internal Affairs,” the woman said, a tall glass in her hand.

“Why is an Internal Affairs agent here?” Shepard asked, the barest hint of a smirk on her lips. She wasn’t surprised in the least by this turn of events.

“The Executive Board knows about Anoleis’ corruption. I’ve been undercover for six months. I want you to convince Qui’in to testify before the Board. With his evidence, this planet can run profitably again.”

Shepard figured that Anoleis’ files were too difficult to get off his console, or else they would have already done it. She also knew that if Gianna tried to talk to Lorik herself, he wouldn’t believe her _and_ her cover would be blown. But she couldn’t resist one small jab. “I thought corruption was the rule on Noveria.”

“The rule is, ‘Don’t rock the boat.’ Self-interest is tolerated if it doesn’t interfere with business. Anoleis is driving customers away,” Gianna explained curtly.

Shepard nodded, conceding the point. “I need Lorik’s pass to complete my mission. The deal was to give him this OSD in exchange for that.”

“You help my investigation, I’ll provide whatever you need. Favour for a favour.”

“In the long run, it is better to remove the source of the problem,” Liara added. Shepard turn her head slightly and nodded once in agreement. It was why she’d insisted on killing the Thorian, after all.

“Look, Shepard,” Gianna cut in. “I don’t like this either. You Spectres play fast and loose with the law. That’s bad for business.”

“We don’t all play fast and loose. But since we’re here, chatting like old friends in this bar, why don’t you tell me more about Peak 15?”

Gianna sighed. “We received a Code Omega from them before the blizzard blew in. That means there was a breach of safety protocols. No one goes in or comes out until the all-clear has been sent…in theory. Matriarch Benezia went up there after the automated signal, but before the blizzard. She took the last shuttle with an escort of asari commandos and a load of heavy crates.”

“And if the crew never sends an all-clear?”

“The Executive Board votes whether or not to destroy the facility. One antimatter warhead from the battle stations vaporizes all contaminants,” Gianna explained pragmatically.

Ashley let out a low whistle while Shepard nodded, thinking. “So how do I get to Peak 15?”

“You’ll have to drive up. If you get Qui’in to testify, I’ll get you into the garage.”

“All right. I’ll talk to Qui’in and see if I can convince him.”

“Thank you. You know where I work, so come talk to me once you know if he’ll play ball.” Gianna tossed back the rest of her drink, then walked out casually.

Shepard exhaled a gusty sigh, then walked around a huge display of boulders and water to talk to Lorik.

“Always a pleasure, Spectre,” the turian greeted her. His face was relaxed into an expression that gave Shepard the impression that if this wasn’t a business meeting, he’d be flirting with her. She was flummoxed and a little pleased by the thought. She put it away to contemplate later, barely catching his next sentence. “Any news on that matter I asked you to look into?”

Shepard nodded. “I finished the job, but an Internal Affairs agent contacted me. She wants you to testify against Anoleis.”

Lorik’s mandibles pulled close to his face. “Now that you have my property, you want to dictate how I use it? I have no interest in a public spectacle.”

“Everyone on this station is chafing under Anoleis’ extortion, just like you,” Shepard persuaded. “You might end up a hero.”

“My employers rely on the goodwill of the Executive Board to work here,” he said, fumbling for a plausible excuse.

“The Board was already investigating Anoleis. They’re concerned about the worm in their own fruit,” Ashley put in.

Lorik sank back against his chair, defeated. “All right,” he sighed. “It is obvious that I cannot dissuade you. Very well. I will testify. Make whatever arrangements you need with your contact. I will wait here.”

Shepard gave him a victorious smile. “Thanks, Lorik. Maybe I’ll take you up on that offer of a drink next time, if it’s still open.”

“For you? Always,” he said smoothly. Shepard grinned, then walked out.

 

“Spectre. Have you given any more consideration to my offer?” Gianna greeted her, when she walked into the secretary’s office.

“It took some persuasion, but Qui’in has agreed to testify.”

Gianna let out a huge sigh of relief. “That’s a world of stress off my back. I’ll take the evidence for safe transport. I didn’t think you’d help me, being a Spectre and all. I guess some of you can be all right.”

Shepard gave her the OSD and raised an eyebrow, but was not distracted from her goal. “So, how about getting me into the garage?”

Gianna pulled out a plastic card and handed it to her. “While you were working on Qui’in, I got you a garage pass. Be careful up there. If you’ll excuse me, I have an arrest to make. Wish I had time to change into something easy to move in. I hate skirts.”

Shepard considered this last statement as the former secretary confronted Anoleis in his office. Gianna’s skirt was nearly a floor-length tube encasing the woman’s legs, so she could understand her sentiment, but plenty of skirts were just as freeing as pants, and roomier as well. She heard scuffling coming closer, then Gianna wrestled Anoleis out from behind the partition, his hands cuffed behind his back.

“This is an outrage! I’ll see that you never work in this sector again!” Anoleis blustered.

“Yeah, yeah. Get a move on,” Gianna said, ignoring his threats.

Anoleis spotted the Spectre. “You! Shepard! I demand you place this bitch under arrest!” He clearly didn’t understand what was going on.

“You have the right to remain silent. I wish to God you’d exercise it.” Gianna shoved the salarian forward, calling back over her shoulder, “See you around the galaxy, Commander. I owe you a beer!”

“You guys ready to play in the snow?” Shepard asked her duo.

“Only if there’s going to be a snowball fight,” Ashley answered.

“One can throw a snowball quite far, and accurately, using biotics,” Liara added, smiling.

“Let’s go,” Shepard said, leading them to the garage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super sorry it took me so long to post another chapter. I swear I haven’t died! Also, I am participating in Camp NaNoWriMo this month, so there should be plenty of new chapters coming. Now, normally this would only add about one chapter (or episode, as I like to think of them), but I thought I’d try something new and aim for around 5,000 words instead of however much it takes (which is usually around 10,000). If anyone is still out there reading this, please please let me know what you think about this. I’m hoping it will mean more frequent updates, as I’ve had nearly all of this chapter written since March. This story is still very much alive in my mind, and I have scenes that will take place during ME2 already written. I am nearing 100,000 words, and this is obviously going to be of epic proportions, so don’t give up on me yet (if you haven’t already)!


	13. Peak 15

When they got to the garage, a guard was standing duty, fully suited up and holding a loaded assault rifle in front of the door. “A-access to the garage is restricted,” she said nervously, suddenly confronted by a group who was undeniably trained and equipped for serious combat.  


Shepard smiled, trying to ease the guard’s trepidation. “I have authorization. Excuse me,” she said, handing over her pass.  


The guard looked it over, then handed it back. “Yes, that’s genuine. Drive safely. The weather’s supposed to be pretty bad out in the Aleutsk Valley.”  


“Thank you,” Shepard said, as the door opened for them.  


The garage was frigid, cavernous, and full of crates. Two ground vehicles were parked inside, but Shepard didn’t recognize them. _Why exactly did I think they’d have human-made Makos here?_ She shook her head derisively, and almost missed the flash of movement that was a geth hopper.  


“Oh shit!” Williams yelled, pulling out her assault rifle.  


Shepard ducked behind a crate, readying her rifle, then checked on Liara. The asari’s face was set with concentration, her body licked with blue. The corner of Shepard’s mouth twitched up, then she turned her focus to the geth.  


They were unfolding from behind the crates scattered around the room, and it took them time to orient themselves toward Shepard and her team. This gave the trio plenty of time to take most of the enemy out before they even got close. _What was that archaic phrase? Shooting fish in a bucket?_ They mopped up the last of them efficiently, then regrouped.  


The garage door opened behind them, and Shepard turned, aiming her sniper at a potentially new influx of enemies. It was Captain Matsuo and two guards.  


“What did you do here, Commander?” Matsuo demanded accusingly.  


“Me? I’m the victim here! The geth attacked us!” Shepard exclaimed.  


“The geth? You expect me to believe--” The Captain stopped, noticing the autonotomic bodies. “Where did they come from?”  


“I’d guess the Matriarch packed them in the shipping containers she arrived with.” Ashley answered. Liara swallowed back unspoken words miserably.  


>“I don’t believe that. We did thorough scans of those. There were no power sources, no element zero masses…” Matsuo sighed. “If Benezia-sama’s containers were packed with these things, there are many more out there.”  


“We’ve fought geth before. We’ll take care of them for you,” Shepard replied.  


“I appreciate that. My people are good, but few of them have combat experience. I must report this to the Executive Board. If word gets out about loose geth, there may be an investor panic.” Matsuo nodded at Shepard, then motioned her guards to follow her out.  


Shepard turned back to her team, giving them an once-over, then headed to the far end of the garage and the vehicle parked there. “Liara, do you have any experience with these?”  


“Only a very cursory one, Shepard. I am afraid battle tanks were not part of an archeologist’s normal equipment.”  


“Well, get us inside, and we’ll take it from there.”  


The controls seemed simple enough, but were written in turian. The time it would take Shepard’s translator, located in her omni-tool, to send the explanation to her helmet’s HUD, could cost them valuable moments while trying to fight through geth blockades. It wasn’t worth the risk. Shepard had Liara, who could read a cursory amount of the language, drive, while she and Ashley manned the guns, which were more or less self-explanatory. They took a few minutes to familiarize themselves with the controls, then headed out.  


The garage opened onto a relatively narrow trail carved into the side of a mountain range. The drop off to the left was so steep, the bottom could not be seen through the swirling snow. A purple warning light flashed in front of Liara, but she dismissed it after a moment. “It was just a warning about the temperature outside of the vehicle. Very hazardous,” she explained.  


“It’s a good thing Garrus didn’t come. He hates the cold,” Ashley remarked.  


_Really?_ Shepard thought. _I’ll have to look into that later._  


Liara drove them cautiously around the mountainside, past orange beacons that were set along the edge at regular intervals. They passed two wrecked vehicles before coming to their first blockade, at the entrance of a manufactured tunnel. The geth had stationed a turret on the edge of the cliff, and were firing rockets at them from behind their shields.  


Waves of nervous energy were rolling off Liara, her hands clamped on the steering mechanism. Shepard grinned viciously behind her helmet, excited to be controlling such a powerful weapon. She fired the cannon directly at the turret, and it exploded in a firework of red and yellow sparks. Williams was mowing down the line of geth at the entrance, and Liara, gaining confidence and focus, drove them closer.  


She ran over the last one standing, a tiny satisfied smile on her lips. More geth rocket troopers were in the tunnel, and Liara had to concentrate on avoiding their missiles. Shepard and Williams focused on separate targets, while Liara carried them through to the other side.  


From the mouth of the structure, they could see a geth armature waiting for them with two more rocket troopers. They went down surprisingly quickly, and Liara drove by the burning wreckage of another vehicle. _How many people were out here in this crazy blizzard? Any why?_ Shepard thought incredulously.  


They continued on around the twists and turns until they came to another roofed passage. There was only a cursory force waiting for them at either end, and Liara drove over them impassively. They could see the entrance to Peak 15, and for a moment Liara thought it was a straight shot, but slammed into reverse at the last moment to keep them from plunging off into the white abyss.  


The trail went around a hairpin curve, and three turrets were set up along the last leg of this journey. Shepard blew them up one after the other, trying to hold back her laughter at the explosions. When they finally reached the entrance to Peak 15, yet another ground vehicle was on fire, blocking the garage entrance. Liara parked their transport, and they entered through a little side door.  


Shepard already had her rifle out, and her duo followed suit. A large contingent of geth and three krogan were waiting for them in the garage, stationed in defensible positions. Williams fired her weapon non-stop, and when it overheated, she rapidly switched to another, her barrage unceasing. Liara let biotic blast after biotic blast streak across the room, causing multiple kinds of blue mayhem. Shepard focused her attention on the krogan on the catwalks, slinking around the crates for better aim. She could hear explosions coming from nearby, but a quick check showed they were Williams’ intention.  


When the present threat was eliminated, a computerized voice announced, “User alert. All Peak 15 facilities have suffered a great deal of damage. Biohazard materials present through facility. Virtual Intelligence user interface offline.”  


“Everyone okay?” Shepard asked through her comm.  


“Yes ma’am!” Williams answered, with Liara’s similar response overlapping.  


“Double-check your helmet seals. Who knows what kind of biohazard the computer meant,” Shepard said while following her own order.  


“We’ll need to get the reactors back up,” Williams commented, as they made their way up the stairs and through a door. “Why are those turrets facing the wrong way?” she continued, more to herself than to her commander.  


“They want to keep their people in as much as they want to keep others out,” Liara responded, dismayed.  


Shepard left the chit-chat to her duo, her mind centered first on the biohazard threat and second on Matriarch Benezia.  


They took an elevator up a floor, and exited into a short hallway that was filled with snow and ice. One wall was the rock of the mountain, the other was broken windows. They hurried through into a cafeteria, where geth were standing guard in large drifts of snow. They were put down quickly, having been taken by surprise. Shepard looked around and noticed more broken windows, then heard ominous groans coming from the ductwork.  


“Wind? Animals? This place is in bad shape,” Williams murmured.  


Shepard led the way up snow-covered stairs, and was greeted by an enormously large insect with two long tentacles. It ran straight for her, so she lowered her rifle and fired. Williams and Liara joined her a split-second later, and the creature died at their feet.  


“What the hell was that?” Williams yelled, already firing at a second while Shepard aimed for a third. They seemed to be crawling out of the walls.  


“Xenobiology is not my field,” Liara answered calmly, firing off waves of biotics. “Perhaps someone in the labs knows.”  


They fought as they went down the hallways, eventually taking an elevator up another floor. There was no snow or geth as they stepped off, but there was a cluster of small green bugs. Liara threw a wave of biotics their way, and they all ruptured into goo and legs.  


Shepard examined her surroundings, then lowered her rifle. “This is a backup power station,” she explained. “It must be for the station mainframe. I think I can fix it. Keep watch.” She holstered her rifle, then examined the Core. It was inoperational, so she found a power source and reactivated it.  


The automated voice they’d heard earlier spoke. “Critical startup error. Virtual Intelligence interface offline. Manual boot required.”  


Shepard stepped inside the Core, and took the platform down to its sensitive inner workings. She rolled her shoulders, easing the tension to better focus. She hoped her tech skills were good enough to fix asari technology, because she was going to have to manually reconfigure the data banks. But once she got into them, all she had to do was move the data from one corrupted bank to an uncorrupted one. It took a few minutes, but it wasn’t nearly as hard as she’d thought it’d be.  


The platform took her back up, and she was greeted by a hologram of a woman with short hair. “It looks like you’re trying to restart the system. Would you like some help?”  


“Help would be great. What should I call you?” Shepard said, relieved.  


“This system is programmed to respond to the name Mira. May I ask your name?”  


“I’m Commander Shepard. I work for the Citadel’s Special Tactics and Reconnaissance.”  


“One moment, please. Council authority confirmed. You are entitled to Secure Access of all systems. Please note the queries relating to corporate secrets require Privileged Access. Privileged Access is only available to Binary Helix executives. This system is ready to process queries. You may access me at any holographic interface within Peak 15.”  


“I need to find Matriarch Benezia,” Shepard said, getting straight to the point.  


“Lady Benezia departed on the passenger tramway to the Rift Station subsidiary labs. User alert! The tramway system is currently inoperable.”  


Shepard crossed her arms and sunk back on a hip. “Give me a damage report.”  


“One moment, please. Diagnostics in progress.” The VI paused, running its checks. “Critical Failure: Main reactor shut down in accordance with emergency containment procedures. Manual restart required. Critical Failure: Landline connections are disabled. Passenger tram systems are offline. Report complete. Do you have an additional systems status query?”  


“What do I need to do to restart the reactor?”  


“The valves to the helium-3 fuel line must be opened. This can be done at the controls on the reactor assembly proper.”  


“And how do I reconnect the landlines?”  


“The landlines were designed for easy reconnection. The router for the landlines is located on the roof of Operations. Simply activate the controls, and the hardware will reconnect and reboot automatically.”  


“Alright, tell me what occurred immediately before you shut down.”  


“Stage one alert issued at hot labs. Contaminants released from Laboratory Pod Gamma. Emergency protocols implemented. Stage two alert issued at hot labs. Isolation Tube breached. Trams shut down. Landline to hot labs disconnected. Stage three alert issued locally. Contaminants in tram tunnels. Station shutdown and evacuation initiated. Code Omega sent.”  


“What sort of contaminants escaped? Was it those insects? ”  


“I’m sorry, Commander. Inquiries related to our research require Privileged Access. Only executives of Binary Helix have that clearance.”  


Shepard ground her teeth quietly for a moment, then asked, “Why were you taken offline?”  


“In the event Peak 15 must be sterilized for security purposes, my program and data are purged.”  


“I see. That will be all for now.”  


The hologram winked out, and Shepard armed herself again, then led her team to get the station back online. There were more insect soldiers waiting on the roof, and the blowing snow made visuals difficult, but they managed. Then there were geth waiting in the reactor. Actually restarting the station was easy, once the enemies were killed.  


They took the tram to the Rift Station. The ride was eerily quiet; Shepard kept expecting more giant insects to swarm them, but they didn’t. After they stepped off, the tram platform was also empty; no geth, no scientists, no bodies. She led them through the only open door, and then through one which had a sign for crew quarters. The other door led to the hot labs, but it was locked down. They took the elevator up, and it opened onto a small group of soldiers all aiming their weapons at Shepard and her team.  


“Stand down,” their captain ordered. “Sorry. We couldn’t be sure what was on the tram,” he said to her.  


“Better safe than sorry. There’d only be issues if they’d fired,” Shepard replied with a smirk behind her helmet. These men weren’t wearing theirs, but it was possible they’d already been exposed to whatever biohazards had been released-- if the biohazards were something besides the insects, or something else in conjunction with the insects. She was not going to remove hers until she knew for sure it was safe.  


“Even hopped up on stims, my people know the rule. Two legs good, four legs bad. Look, you’re human, and that’s enough that I won’t shoot. But I’d like to know who you are.”  


“Listen, the VI said there were biohazards loose from their containment. Was it referring to those insects, or is there some kind of airborne pathogen I need to worry about? I’d like to take my helmet off to introduce myself properly.”  


“Biohazards? I think the quarantine labs had an issue when the power went out, but no, there’s nothing contagious floating around out here,” Captain Ventralis answered.  


Shepard breathed a sigh of relief, and undid the clasps of her helmet, then pulled it off. “My name’s Shepard. I’m a Spectre.”  


“Huh. I won’t look a heavily armed gift horse in the mouth. The aliens overran the hot labs last week. Only Han Olar got out, and he ain’t all there anymore. The first we knew, the bastards were clawing into my command post. We weren’t expecting the initial wave. They made it inside. We lost some good people. Those of us left are shorthanded. We’ve kept order by long shifts and stims. I don’t like it, but I don’t see an alternative,” he said, shaking his head sadly.  


“I’m sorry to hear that. Still, I am impressed with your operation. Being able to weather a week of assaults is no mean feat.”  


He shrugged. “Only the best get assigned to high-security facilities like this. What impresses me most is the turrets, alarms, and cameras. They’re all routed through a central location, out by the quarantine labs. One guy can lock down the whole facility. The security hub’s the last logical fallback, and we’d have cover from the turrets all the way.”  


Shepard nodded thoughtfully, her mind’s eye tracing the route in her head. “What can you tell me about those insects? We’ve never seen anything like them. Did they come from inside the facility, or did they attack from the outside?”  


“I’m no xenobiologist. Go ask Dr. Olar; he was down there. What I do know is they’re fast, vicious, and there’s a hell of a lot of them. The Board sent an asari to clean up the mess. She went to the hot labs yesterday. We haven’t heard from her since.”  


Shepard narrowed her eyes. “Benezia. Is it still over there?”  


“I don’t know. I don’t see what one person could do,” he answered skeptically.  


“A Matriarch has the skill to keep herself alive for a long time,” Liara informed him.  


His eyes flicked to the asari, then back to Shepard. The captain pulled out a plastic card and handed it to her. “There’s an emergency elevator out by the trams. This card will let you activate it. It can take you down to the hot labs. Oh, if you need any first aid, Dr. Cohen’s downstairs in the medbay.”  


“Could you tell me about the hot labs?” Shepard asked.  


“It’s built into one of the glaciers further down the mountain. Real old, thick, stable one. Something goes wrong, they heat it up and sink it into the ice. The crew usually gets to the labs using a tram from Central Station. We’ve got an elevator that connects directly, but it’s for emergency use only. But since the facility’s off the network, the only way to find out would be to send scouts down the elevator.” He leaned in closer to speak more quietly. “Uh, listen. I’m not sending my people down there. It’s too dangerous. You understand?”  


Shepard began to offer her help, when two more of the large brown insects busted out from the vents along the walls. She dropped her helmet and readied her rifle, firing at the aliens as Liara Lifted them into the air, Williams firing beside them.  


“Thanks for the help,” Captain Ventralis said, after they were dead. “Every few hours, a group comes up the tram tunnel. It’s actually better since we locked down the elevator.”  


Shepard scooped her helmet off the floor, then tucked it under one arm. “We’ll go down to the hot labs and see what we can do.”  


“We’ll be here.”  


Rift Station was a conglomeration of twisting tunnels, landings, and stairs. There didn’t seem to be any logic behind the pathways. Shepard ended up in a large room, complete with four stressed scientists, an elcor merchant, and a newly transferred asari molecular geneticist. Shepard had a brief conversation with all of them, testing the emotional waters. What she discovered wasn’t good, but was to be expected under the circumstances.  


She went down to the medbay, where Dr. Cohen, a microbiologist, was doing the best he could to take care of a roomful of sick scientists. He explained that the power had gone out during an experiment, and the quarantine had failed. The sickness was not contagious, but required a cure to be administered. The cure, and the notes on how to make it, were in the labs that were currently locked down. Shepard offered her aid, and then left him to his work. She had to get permission to enter the quarantined zone from Captain Ventralis, and he gave it after only a half-hearted attempt to stop her.  


The only way to get to those particular labs was through another barracks. When the door slid open, Shepard was greeted by Han Olar, the volus who had escaped the hot labs.  


“You came to find out more about them, didn’t you?” he asked despondently.  


“Are you referring to the insects?” she asked.  


“Yes. I’m the only survivor from the hot labs, you know.”  


Shepard nodded sympathetically. “What are they?”  


“Rachni.” His answer silenced the room so thoroughly, Shepard could hear the air recycling units running.  


“Rachni? That’s preposterous!” Liara finally said.  


“Where did they come from?” Shepard demanded. The rachni had been extinct for hundreds of years. This claim was just as Liara had said—preposterous.  


“They found it in a derelict ship. An egg. Waiting since the last battles. They brought it here and we brought them back from the dead. In retrospect, a bad idea,” Han Olar explained, the hissing of his pressure suit adding depth to his emotionless tone.  


Shepard decided to change the subject. “How did you make it out alive?”  


“I killed her. Dr. Zohnmua. We were going to lunch when the alarms went off. I ran into the trams. And I closed the doors. She banged on the window once, then they sliced her to pieces. Her head came apart like a melon. I closed the door. I killed her.”  


If Han Olar had been a human, Shepard would have said he was suffering from shock, PTSD, or both. She wasn’t sure how volus handled such psychological trauma. She changed the subject again, not wanting to create a volatile situation. “Could Matriarch Benezia survive in the hot labs?”  


“It’s possible. The specimens were sensitive to biotics,” he answered.  


“Well that explains how Liara was killing them so fast,” Ashley said with a friendly smirk. “Good thing we brought you along.” She bumped the asari with her elbow. Liara smiled weakly in return.  


“Thank you for all the information, Han Olar. We’ll be going now.” Shepard nodded at him once, then walked to the quarantined lab doors.  


“Yeah,” he murmured softly behind her.  


She affixed her helmet to the neck of her armour, double-checking the clasps before looking over her duo. They were being similarly cautious, and Shepard approved.  


“You’re not part of the crew,” the guard standing at the door said rudely.  


“No, I’m a Spectre from the Council. Call me Shepard.”  


“There aren’t any human Spectres!”  


“I’m not here to argue with a security guard. I’m here to make a cure for the scientists. I have clearance from your captain.”  


“Yeah, he radioed. He also said you have to prove you’re not contaminated to get out.” The turian’s subvocals seemed to suggest that even if they were uncontaminated, he still might not open the door for them.  


“Since the toxin is no longer dangerous, that won’t be a problem.” Shepard stepped around the guard and walked through the door he grudgingly opened for her.  


The cure wasn’t too difficult to make. It looked like someone had gathered all the necessary components and laid them out neatly next to the instructions, as if they had just been getting ready to create the cure themselves. No sooner than she had the vial ready for transport, the door clanged open behind her. She whirled around, vial in her left hand, her right reaching awkwardly for the rifle holstered on her back. The asari they’d talked to earlier stood there, one geth and one asari commando flanking it on each side.  


“Your mission ends here, Shepard.”  


“I thought she was weird,” Williams muttered.  


“What happened to Ventralis’ man?” Shepard demanded, stalling for time. She was trying to surreptitiously place the vial in a pocket so her hands would be free to shoot.  


“I didn’t have permission to come in. He got in my way. I was ordered to eliminate you, should the opportunity arise. And here you are, trapped in this lab.”  


Shepard finally had the grip of her rifle firmly in her left hand. While the asari was talking, she switched off the maglock holding it to her back, then clicked the button to extend the barrel. She positioned it in such a way that when it fully extended, it was pointing at the floor behind her and hidden behind her legs. Williams was much more obvious, drawing the attention of the asari and its company. Liara began to glow blue. “You were sent by Matriarch Benezia,” Shepard stated.  


“Well. You’re not as stupid as you look. Weapons free!” the asari shouted to its team.  


Shepard let fly a Damping, stunning the ringleader and knocking out its biotics. She whipped her rifle around smoothly and placed a single bullet hole straight between its eyes. Before the body could hit the floor, she was on to the next target, one of the geth. She used an Overload, then ducked behind a desk before firing her weapon. Williams and Liara were holding their own, once again working as a team. Shepard really liked having them along with her, as it left her free to focus on her sniping.  


They left the bodies in the lab, and exited out the way they’d come. Shepard checked the turian’s vital signs, but he was dead. Han Olar, however, was untouched. She took off her helmet again as she approached him, and he said, “They came out of there.” He pointed to the maintenance door.  


“The…inorganics the asari had?” Shepard asked, avoiding the word ‘geth.’  


“Benezia brought them with her.”  


Shepard nodded, looking over at the door. The panel was still red. “How can I get into the maintenance area?”  


“A team lead would have access. Like Dr. Cohen. He’s in the medical bay.”  


Shepard nodded and gave him a little smile. “Thanks.” Then she motioned her team to follow her back to the medbay.  


Dr. Cohen greeted her excitedly, taking the vial she proffered. She asked about getting into the maintenance area, and he gave her his card, then mentioned that it seemed like the guards had been expecting her. He also offhandedly mentioned that there were other sections of the Rift Station inaccessible to all but a select few. Shepard tucked that knowledge away, then left.  


As she ran back towards the maintenance tunnel, she mulled over the idea that maybe Matriarch Benezia wasn’t in the hot labs. If the geth and the commandos had come from a particular area that was so heavily guarded not even scientists could get in, it seemed plausible that they were coming from the ‘headquarters’, as it were. She decided to put her helmet back on as they jogged.  


She heard Williams snort behind her.  


“Something to report, Chief?” she asked, locking the final clasp.  


“No, ma’am,” the woman responded.  


“I think Ashley was just making a nonverbal comment on your actions concerning your helmet, Shepard,” Liara explained, seemingly innocent.  


“I don’t like talking to people when they can’t see my face. It puts them more on edge,” Shepard said succinctly.  


“Yes. That makes sense,” Liara agreed.  


The maintenance tunnel opened into a large laboratory. Shepard’s eyes swept over the stairs leading to platforms of varying heights, the large transparent walls separating tiny rooms, the tubes, pipes, and control panels, then settled on an asari with its back to them.  


“You do not know the privilege of being a mother,” Matriarch Benezia said, looking into a large clear tube that Shepard couldn’t quite see. “There is power in creation. To shape a life. Turn it toward happiness or despair. Her children were to be ours. Raised to hunt and slay Saren’s enemies.” It left the platform and walked toward them, stopping at the top of the stairs. “I won’t be moved by sympathy. No matter who you bring to this confrontation,” Matriarch Benezia said coldly.  


“Liara’s here because she wants to be, not because I asked her to,” Shepard replied.  


“Indeed? What have you told her about me, Liara?”  


Liara lost what little control it had. “What could I say, mother? That you’re insane? Evil? Should I explain how to kill you? What could I say?” it cried, anguish tearing at the words.  


Benezia ignored the outburst. “Have you faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have.”  


“I can’t believe you’d kill your own child,” Shepard said disgustedly.  


“I realize now I should have been stricter with Liara.” Matriarch Benezia lit up with biotics and began attacking the trio while asari commandos came in from every side. Shepard lost control of her own body for a moment, a biotic blast from Benezia rendering her incapacitated. She rolled behind cover as soon as she was able, looking for her team mates.  


Some fights were planned and followed procedures with precision. Other fights were a mess. This one was the second kind. Liara was to the right, fending off a commando with biotically controlled pistol shots. Williams was up the stairs, trying to get at the matriarch while fighting off two more commandos. The chief was having to fall back on hand-to-hand, because the two asari were too close for her shotgun.  


Shepard readied her rifle and took aim at the asari charging its biotics next to Williams. She fired, and the shot drew its attention to her and off her team mate. Shepard fired again as the asari flew down the stairs. It went hurtling back, sprawling on the steps, and didn’t get up again.  


She turned to check on Liara, and took a bullet though the soft material at her right shoulder joint. Then she realized her shields were down. Shepard cursed under her breath as she rolled around to the other side of the crate she was hiding behind. Her shields came up again, but weren’t as strong as they’d been before. They were just going to have to do. She peeked out from cover, and let loose her Damping at the commando rushing for her. With its biotics temporarily knocked out, Shepard took the opportunity to fire her sniper rifle directly between its eyes. With no biotic shield to protect it, the asari went down.  


Shepard saw Liara running down the metal planking, then up a set of stairs on the left. She looked over at Williams, who was taking on Matriarch Benezia alone. As Shepard stood up to join her, two geth came through a nearby door. She cursed again, then caught them both in an Overload. One clean shot through each of their headlights, and they weren’t a concern anymore.  


Shepard ran up the stairs toward Williams and Benezia, and saw Liara joining them from the other side. She thought this battle was nearly over, when four more geth appeared, converging on their location. “Stay on Benezia,” she said over the comm link. “I’ll get them.”  


She hit one with her Damping, spun around, hit another with her Overload, fired two shots, then turned back to the first, firing two more shots in quick succession. The two geth left came around their respective corners, firing at Shepard. Her shields held as she took their attacks out of cover. She hit the first with her Sabotage, overheating its weapon, but not stopping its momentum. While taking constant fire from the one at her back, she fired on the first until it fell, then turned to the final geth. With no tech ability to help, she had to work her way through its shields before getting in that last sweet shot precisely through the headlight.  


Turning back to Benezia and her duo, she found the Matriarch slumped against a console. Looming over them all was an incredibly large rachni, trapped in the clear tube Benezia had been facing when they’d first come in. _Her children were ours,_ Shepard recalled the asari saying. _A queen rachni? Must be._  


Benezia spoke, interrupting Shepard’s thoughts. “This is not over. Saren is unstoppable. My mind is filled with his light. Everything is clear.”  


“The rachni didn’t cooperate with you. Why should I?” she asked.  


“I will not betray him. You will—You…” Something seemed to come over the matriarch, or maybe something left. Benezia’s voice was stronger, but kinder. “You must listen. Saren still whispers in my mind. I can fight his compulsions. Briefly. But the indoctrination is strong.”  


“Why are you able to break free of his control now?” Shepard asked, wary.  


“I sealed a part of my mind away from the indoctrination. Saving it for a moment when I could help destroy him. It will not last long.”  


“We met Shiala on Feros. She told us about Sovereign’s indoctrination.”  


Benezia nodded. “It is a terror to be trapped in your mind. To beat upon the glass as your hands torture and murder. I was powerless; nothing but a tool for Saren. He sent me here to find the location of the Mu Relay. Its position was lost thousands of years ago.”  


“How does something that big go missing?” Williams asked.  


“Four thousand years ago, a star nearby went supernova. The shockwave propelled the relay out of its system, but did not damage it. Its precise vector and speed were impossible to determine. As millennia passed, the nebula created by the nova enveloped the relay. It is difficult to find any cold object in interstellar space, particularly something swathed in hot dust and radiation.”  


“Someone on Noveria found it?” Shepard guessed.  


“Two thousand years ago, the rachni inhabited that region of our galaxy. They discovered the relay. The rachni can share memories across generations. Queens inherit the knowledge of their mothers. I took the location of the relay from the queen’s mind. I was not gentle,” the Matriarch said sadly.  


“How did the rachni find it?”  


“They searched, patiently. They are territorial creatures, driven to close any possible way into their systems.”  


“Why does Saren need the Mu Relay?” Liara asked, eyes narrowing.  


“He believes it will lead him to the Conduit. I would tell you more if I could, but Saren did not share his counsel with me. I was merely a servant to his cause.”  


“You can still make it right,” Shepard said. “Share the information with us.”  


“I was not myself, but—I should have been stronger. I transcribed the data to an OSD. Take it. Please.” Benezia held out a small data stick. Shepard took it, slowly.  


“Knowing the relay’s coordinates is not enough. Do you know where he planned to go from there?” Liara asked.  


“Saren wouldn’t tell me his destination. But you must find out quickly. I transmitted the coordinates to him before you arrived.” Benezia’s face contorted with pain. “You have to stop—me. I can’t—His teeth are at my ear. Fingers on my spine. You should—Uh, you should—”  


“Mother! I—Don’t leave! Fight him!” Liara begged.  


“You’ve always made me proud, Liara,” Benezia said, then its face changed to a cold mask. “Die!” Liara’s mother attacked them with newfound ferocity, while three more asari commandos rushed in. With Shepard’s team working in unison, instead of spread out, the fight was quickly over.  


Liara ran to Benezia, and cradled the Matriarch’s head in its lap. Tears ran down the asari’s face, to drip onto its mother’s.  


“I cannot go on. You will have to stop him.” Benezia whispered.  


“Hold on. We’ve got medi-gel. Maybe we can—” Liara said frantically.  


“No. He is still in my mind. I am not entirely myself. I never will be again.”  


“Mother,” Liara choked.  


“Good night, Little Wing. I will see you again with the dawn.” Benezia’s face turned to the ceiling. “No light? They always said there would be—Ah…”  


The lab was silent, save for Liara’s quiet weeping. Shepard pulled her helmet off, but said nothing. _What is there to say to a friend who killed its own mother?_ Williams crouched next to Liara, rubbing the asari’s back in consolation.  


Movement behind Shepard made her whirl around, and the sight that greeted her shocked her motionless. A dead asari was shuffling towards her, its limbs jerking unnaturally.  


“This one. Serves as our voice. We cannot sing. Not in these low spaces. Your musics are colourless,” it said, its voice like nothing Shepard had ever heard.  


“Musics? What?” she asked, stunned.  


“Your way of communicating is strange. Flat. It does not colour the air. When we speak, one moves all. We are the mother. We sing for those left behind. The children you thought silenced. We are rachni.”  


Shepard’s eyes went from the talking corpse up to the rachni queen in the tube. She stepped closer, reaching out her hand. “How are you speaking through it?”  
“Our kind sing through touchings of thought. We pluck the strings, and the other understands. It is weak to urging. It has colours we have no name for. But it is ending. Its music is bittersweet. It is beautiful.  


“The children we birthed were stolen from us before they could learn to sing. They are lost to silence. End their suffering. They cannot be saved. They will only cause harm as they are,” the rachni queen tried to explain.  


“I don’t understand. Why are your children killing people?” Shepard asked.  


“These needle-men. They stole our eggs from us. They sought to turn our children into beasts of war. Claws with no songs of their own. Our elders are comfortable with silence. Children know only fear if no one sings to them. Fear has shattered their minds.”  


“I understand. A child left alone in a closet until she is sixteen would not be sane.” Liara said quietly from the floor.  


“If you’re sure they can’t be saved,” Shepard said hesitantly.  


“It is lamentable. But necessary. Do what you must. Before you deal with our children, we stand before you. What will you sing? Will you release us? Are we to fade away once more?”  


Williams spoke behind Shepard. “Commander, I don’t trust it. We know its kind are killers. The tank is rigged with acid. I recommend using it.”  


“The Council made a mistake. They let the krogan go too far. This is a chance for us to atone. She has done nothing to us,” Liara said.  


“Your companions hear the truth. You have the power to free us, or return our people to the silence of memory,” the rachni queen voiced through the asari corpse.  


“If I let you live, would you attack other races again?” Shepard asked seriously.  


“No. We—I do not know what happened in the war. We only heard discordance, songs the colour of oily shadows. We would seek a hidden place to teach our children harmony. If they understand, perhaps we would return.”  


“Are you a survivor from the war? A clone?” Shepard inquired.  


“We do not know. We were only an egg, hearing Mother cry in our dreams. A tone from space hushed one voice after another. It forced the singers to resonate with its own sour yellow note. Then we awoke, in this place. The last echo of those who came out from the Singing Planet. The sky is silent.”  


Shepard could feel the heavy weight of decision in her hands. Exterminate the last surviving member of a sentient species, or let it live, potentially dooming the galaxy to another destructive war in the future? While the second choice made logical sense, she just couldn’t stomach having that kind of power over a whole species. _Who am I to decide what races live and die?_ Shepard thought. _Especially the last living queen that wasn’t even part of the rachni wars? What if that was how the Council had viewed us? Killing the ones in our short war, and all our children, wiping out our race forever? That’s what they did with the krogan too, nearly. No. I will not make their same mistakes. There is always hope for the future, for change._ “I won’t destroy your entire race. You’ll go free,” she stated firmly.  


“You will give us the chance to compose anew? We will remember. We will sing of your forgiveness to our children.”  


“With all due respect, Commander, there’s a reason their kind were hunted to extinction. It’s better to be safe than let a dangerous race loose,” Williams put in.  


“Are we any better than the rachni if we kill them all?” Shepard asked, turning to face her.  


“If this had happened in Tokyo, Armstrong, or the Citadel, the death toll would be…” Williams broke off, shaking her head.  


“Is that what the Council should have done to us, after our war with the turians? It’s not like this is the only time they’ve tried eliminating an entire species. What of the krogan? How can we look at these situations, and say that it’s okay for those races to die, but not ours? Are we so much better than them? Really?” Shepard stared into Williams’ eyes, driving her point into the chief’s soul.  


Williams looked from Shepard, to the rachni queen, to Liara, studying them each in turn, before meeting her commander’s eyes again, then dropped her gaze to the floor. “No,” she whispered.  


Shepard turned back to the rachni. “You will go free.” She punched the code into the console, and watched as the rachni left her tiny prison. The asari body she’d been using to communicate fell to the ground in a heap. An alarm began sounding as soon as the queen left her prison, and Shepard attempted to override it, but could not. “Let’s go take care of the ones in the hot labs,” she sighed, walking past her duo.  


They were all silent as they made their way to the unlocked elevator, refastening their helmets. When the doors opened, they were greeted by a lone scientist. Shepard looked around for rachni, but saw none. The man explained about the rachni soldiers, how they were uncontrollable and needed to be euthanized, confirming what the queen had said. He explained about the neutron purge, and was just getting ready to hand her the keycard, when a rachni tentacle burst through his chest from behind.  


Shepard and her team opened fire on the rachni, and it exploded from Liara’s biotic attack. She picked the keycard up off the ground, then searched the dead man’s body for the authorization code he’d said they’d need. Some wary searching led them to a Mira terminal.  


Before she activated the VI, she contacted Captain Ventralis. “You need to evacuate this facility immediately. Get everyone on the tram, but wait for us. I’m going to activate the neutron purge.”  


“The neutron purge? But—yes, Spectre. I’ll radio you when we’re on the tram. Ventralis out.”  


Shepard activated Mira, asking her questions about the purge, but waited for the all-clear before starting it. When she did, a two minute countdown began, and she headed back to the elevator with her duo. However, the rachni somehow knew something was happening, and swarmed the room between them and the only way out. The whole place was filled. They were crawling over each other, trying to stop them from leaving.  


Shepard unholstered her heavy pistol, firing at the ones that got too close as they ran through, caring only about getting out before the purge went off. Pockets of them exploded from Liara’s too-powerful biotic bursts, but they made it across with minor damage.  


The tram ride back to the central station was crowded, and quiet. In the ground vehicle, Williams asked if they were going to head to the Mu Relay after their shore leave.  


“No. The Mu Relay could link to dozens of systems. Until we know exactly where Saren’s going, we’d just be wasting our time,” Shepard sighed. Liara nodded her head in agreement, but said nothing.  


Back on the Normandy, there was a strange dichotomy between the ground team’s emotions, and that of everyone else, who were all excited for the three day leave Shepard had promised. She stopped by Joker’s chair, telling him to take the Normandy to the Citadel, and to never mind the report to the Council. She’d just tell them in person when they got there.


End file.
